tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post589004522685061065..comments2024-03-25T15:17:04.488-07:00Comments on Captain Capitalism: Divorce is Bad for Ballroom DancingCaptain Capitalismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05620212946121617985noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-20250276376713913792017-01-12T07:54:22.150-08:002017-01-12T07:54:22.150-08:00Wow - how about working on building trust with the...Wow - how about working on building trust with the divorced woman? I'm a divorced (and happily re-married) dancer. I know I have trouble following and I'm working on it. I love the challenge of learning to follow because it's helping me learn to go with the flow more off the dance floor, too. <br /><br />Building trust with my partner is *essential*. The minute I get a limp-wristed turn, I know I start back leading. <b>Your points are accurate</b>, but I'm not seeing anything productive in this article. How about talking about how to fix it rather than (seemingly) writing us off? I feel incredibly lucky that my amazing teachers are working with me on this rather than just chalking me up as a "divorced woman who can never follow". <br /><br />Same thing for those poor single/divorced guys who reek of desperation - partner dancing should teach them confidence which will flow into other areas of their lives.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-63200001516281729782015-10-20T10:54:16.735-07:002015-10-20T10:54:16.735-07:00that's completely true.
I've been dancing...that's completely true. <br />I've been dancing for 3 years now. <br />When I started there were some women who didn't follow and complained of everything I did. I paid attention because I was learning but when I improved and noticed that I was able to dance with everybody except with some followers I found that those followers were divorcees (range 40's 50's) <br />It is true also about men looking for a partner but they show some features that women don't like. <br />great article<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-11458239570679143662014-01-29T07:49:43.004-08:002014-01-29T07:49:43.004-08:00I wish there were books and dvds on how to follow ...I wish there were books and dvds on how to follow - what part of me does the leader move? How? Like turn signals on my body. I'm good at fishing and can tell the tug of the tide from a fish when it bites. Most women want to follow - ya can't dance alone! Thanks and happy feetAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-47666832492064203482014-01-29T07:46:39.327-08:002014-01-29T07:46:39.327-08:00I wish there were books and dvds on what a lead fe...I wish there were books and dvds on what a lead feels like - what does the leader do? Like turn signals on my body. I'm good at fishing and can tell a bite from the tide's tug. More info please - most women want to follow - ya can't dance alone! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-29890440276901956112013-04-29T08:30:07.960-07:002013-04-29T08:30:07.960-07:00Hey Captain,
Let me first say that I am really en...Hey Captain,<br /><br />Let me first say that I am really enjoying your blog. As an aspiring and struggling male dancer, I am getting a ton of value here. That said, I have found that I really enjoy dancing with women that are not the critical and correcting women. I know they are just trying to "help" but what it does is takes any shred of confidence I had at the time and takes it away. Then the second-guessing and weak leading commences. So I choose women that are not strong dancers and I can lead at will.Male Ballroom Dancerhttp://male-dancer-confessions.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-71333143602485924112012-10-25T12:34:49.311-07:002012-10-25T12:34:49.311-07:00I am the poster that CC quoted above.
Today I too...I am the poster that CC quoted above.<br /><br />Today I took the time to search "Dancing" through CC's blog and just go reading through the various posts. I've gained tremendous wisdom regarding the whole scene and dynamics at play into a venture I've just started.<br /><br />I've noticed something about my dancing the past few weeks practice; and I don't like what I see. <br />I have become much more dependent on feedback from my follow. AND IT IS BAD. I want to do well and do things correctly, so I defer to their opinion of how it felt. Consequently, I've become a worse leader. <br /><br />Next week, I'll take a renewed "Don't give a fuck" attitude with me and start throwing these girls around like they expect me too. I'm a big, strong dude, so it won't be a physical problem for me. I just need to own it and do it. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-28713432737915586632012-10-22T08:31:27.793-07:002012-10-22T08:31:27.793-07:00The worst are the middle aged divorcee. You can al...The worst are the middle aged divorcee. You can always spot them, gaunt looking, hard eyes, never a smile on their face. The bad dancers you can sympathize with, they are just trying to have a good time, so you can forgive their misteeps. But *those* I dread dancing with, even if you execute a flawless routine there is nothing magical about it, it just feels like dancing with a windup watch.Cogitans Iuvenishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05960295264769181088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-22658461746748409992012-10-20T07:26:15.338-07:002012-10-20T07:26:15.338-07:00Years ago, I took an intro Salsa class and noticed...Years ago, I took an intro Salsa class and noticed the attitude problem of most ofthe women in the class. <br /><br />It was annoying to have women, who by the fact of being in an intro class, have no competence in the skills being taught, lecture and order me to do certain things. Of course, when one woman said do one thing one way, if you tried that with a different partner, they would say do it another way. <br /><br />There was one girl who was particularly scornful towards me. I was so disgusted and told her to practice by herself. I literally was so repulsed by her behavior I didn't want to look at her, let alone touch her.<br /><br />She really didn't know what to do after I walked away from her. She was kind of like a deer caught in headlights.<br /><br />I did not make a scene about it, nor did I try to embarass her. I jumped back into the group when it was time to change partners. I somehow walked the tight line of making my displeasure clear, without looking like the "bad guy."<br /><br />People in the class later that night seemed to respect what I had done. No one said anything, but I had looks directed toward me that had both shock (I can't beleive you did that) and admiration (no one should put up with that amount of disrespect) -- particularly from some of the Hispanic guys in the class.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-14927005251568350302012-10-19T21:19:16.613-07:002012-10-19T21:19:16.613-07:00I've been taking ballroom dancing lessons for ...I've been taking ballroom dancing lessons for a year now and I have definitely observed what you are talking about. I never realized this aspect of dancing before I started but really 90% of what dancing is about is physical communication between the leader and follower so that they both do what they are supposed to. Consequently, women that don't pay attention to your signals are no fun to dance with.<br /><br />I suppose the same could be said for intersex relations in general. There's no point in carrying a conversation with a girl very far if she's not synchronizing with your flirtations.Jokah Macphersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04185675633464395897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-80337086255448243862012-10-19T18:35:46.007-07:002012-10-19T18:35:46.007-07:00I tried taking my thrice divorced friend Kimberly ...I tried taking my thrice divorced friend Kimberly to a salsa lesson. God you described the sensation. I'm trying to work into a good leader and Kim's an IMPOSSIBLE partner for me. Tom the Impalerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14236177849264187957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-45815057722901799712012-10-19T17:11:49.280-07:002012-10-19T17:11:49.280-07:00Well, did some ceroc just after divorce. Enjoyed i...Well, did some ceroc just after divorce. Enjoyed it, but left because I did not like being around the stench of desperation. <br /><br />The best partners were those who were happy in their life and confident to follow -- and enjoy the dance. <br />Chrishttp://blog.pukeko.net.nznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-83994837362268822832012-10-19T14:37:20.056-07:002012-10-19T14:37:20.056-07:00That's the result of single mothers raising bo...That's the result of single mothers raising boys. <br /><br />I have that problem & can't see the point in commanding anyone to do anything, especially when the woman can just call the almighty state to fuck your life up if she's not compliant at that time.<br /><br />But his crosses into many areas of life, especially work - find people who are co-operative & have a sense of fair play. Those who want you to instruct them are to be avoided as they are cowards & perpetual victims & those who want to instruct others are bullies who will take the credit for your work & typically have no real skills of their own.<br /><br />Screw both personality types, let them boss around/be victims all they want!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-58457889325192931052012-10-19T13:15:27.544-07:002012-10-19T13:15:27.544-07:00"There is nothing so ridiculous as watching a..."There is nothing so ridiculous as watching a 5'2" woman try to lead a 6'2" man."<br /><br /><br />Being shorter leader IS a disadvantage in ballroom dancing, if for no other reason that it is hard to see what the hell is going on the floor if the follower's shoulder is in the way.<br /><br />That being said switching roles in dancing can be very instructive, once you experience bad leading, horrid following, you can correct your own faults.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-693812479628762242012-10-19T13:03:46.343-07:002012-10-19T13:03:46.343-07:00I learned swing and salsa from a local swing club ...I learned swing and salsa from a local swing club that spun out from a university student club. They routinely taught people how to be both leads *and* follows.<br /><br />There is nothing so ridiculous as watching a 5'2" woman try to lead a 6'2" man.daniel_reamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02403549053471947069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358039.post-50786397197676732012012-10-19T12:53:13.125-07:002012-10-19T12:53:13.125-07:00This goes right along with my 60/40 rule of succes...This goes right along with my 60/40 rule of successful relationships.HeManMasteroftthePooniversenoreply@blogger.com