OK, so I was just lectured for calling a woman "Kid."
As in the context, "Hey, Kid, what's going on?"
Or as in "Good to see ya, Kid."
She said it was degrading to women.
And the only reason I feel compelled to write about this is because literally about a decade ago the same thing happened to me when I was a young 22 year old.
So here's my advice women, particularly the younger uncultured ones.
"Kid" is not a degrading term.
It is a term of endearment.
And if you had any culture about you, you would realize its origins come from Casablanca.
Friday, February 01, 2008
You Sick Bastards
This only shows you howthey pervert and abuse a religion as an excuse to do what they want.
They're nothing but evil people. Pure and simple. And some people think you can rationalize with scum like this.
They're nothing but evil people. Pure and simple. And some people think you can rationalize with scum like this.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
ROI of a Vasectomy
Sorry folks, playing catch up from vacation. Will show you the pictures later. In the meantime here's a "Best of the Captain."
It was determined a while ago that Captain Capitalism would not sow his seed for despite high demand by the ladies, a little Jr. Captain Capitalism would wreak havoc upon my life and no doubt be turned to the Dark Side by the public schools requiring a kind of Obi Wan Kenobi versus Anakin Skywalker ultimate showdown in the end, where no doubt I would surely win for I am on the Good Side of the Force and he would be a product of the public schools.
Having said that, it was determined a while ago that Captain Capitalism would have a vasectomy and his friends in St. Paul got the brilliant idea of having a "Vasectomy Fund Raiser Party" where the theme was akin to "He doesn't want to breed, and the World doesn't want him breeding either! Save the World! Donate to Captain Capitalism's Vasectomy Fund!" Alas as the time nears, it got me thinking, "how much am I going to save by having this vasectomy?"
Or more specifically, "what kind of rate of return am I going to realize on a little snip-snip?"
So with a little number crunching and research I figured that by plopping down $1,200 for the vasectomy, and assuming I would have had the 2.08 children that is the US average, I would save about $577,000 (or $945,000 if I was stupid enough to pay for my 2.08 childrens' way through college). This translates into a whopping total Return on Investment (ROI) of 48,177% (or 78,762%, respectively).
Of course, not everybody has 2.08 kids. Some are microscopically wiser only spitting out one. Others are complete morons producing 5 children and no doubt requiring me to subsidize them. Thus I calculated the total ROI's for varying levels of children as a handy dandy reference guide for those of you pondering having children;
I also annualized these rates of return so that you may compare them against the performance of your 401k/403b funds, and even that of the seemingly "unbeatable" S&P 500 (and no, it's not a mathematical error that paying for college results in a lower annualized rate of return).
Look out Warren Buffett. There's a new sheriff in town.
It was determined a while ago that Captain Capitalism would not sow his seed for despite high demand by the ladies, a little Jr. Captain Capitalism would wreak havoc upon my life and no doubt be turned to the Dark Side by the public schools requiring a kind of Obi Wan Kenobi versus Anakin Skywalker ultimate showdown in the end, where no doubt I would surely win for I am on the Good Side of the Force and he would be a product of the public schools.
Having said that, it was determined a while ago that Captain Capitalism would have a vasectomy and his friends in St. Paul got the brilliant idea of having a "Vasectomy Fund Raiser Party" where the theme was akin to "He doesn't want to breed, and the World doesn't want him breeding either! Save the World! Donate to Captain Capitalism's Vasectomy Fund!" Alas as the time nears, it got me thinking, "how much am I going to save by having this vasectomy?"
Or more specifically, "what kind of rate of return am I going to realize on a little snip-snip?"
So with a little number crunching and research I figured that by plopping down $1,200 for the vasectomy, and assuming I would have had the 2.08 children that is the US average, I would save about $577,000 (or $945,000 if I was stupid enough to pay for my 2.08 childrens' way through college). This translates into a whopping total Return on Investment (ROI) of 48,177% (or 78,762%, respectively).
Of course, not everybody has 2.08 kids. Some are microscopically wiser only spitting out one. Others are complete morons producing 5 children and no doubt requiring me to subsidize them. Thus I calculated the total ROI's for varying levels of children as a handy dandy reference guide for those of you pondering having children;
I also annualized these rates of return so that you may compare them against the performance of your 401k/403b funds, and even that of the seemingly "unbeatable" S&P 500 (and no, it's not a mathematical error that paying for college results in a lower annualized rate of return).
Look out Warren Buffett. There's a new sheriff in town.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Rents Ultimately Drive Property Values
I love this chart. estimates that around 2012 in Irvine, CA (which is probably not as representative as the rest of the country) rents will catch up to the market value of the houses out there. Hat tip to another charting blogger.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Go O
Again, not to scare all you fellow capitalists out there, I don't want Obama to win the presidency, but I am still cheering him on since he does represent a changing of the old guard.
Going to be a shame if we have to beat him in the presidential election. Would have so much preferred to destroy Hilary.
Going to be a shame if we have to beat him in the presidential election. Would have so much preferred to destroy Hilary.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
When I Am King
Someday I will have an office.
And someday I will be in such position of power, that I will not have one of these "motivational" posters;
But rather "de-motivational" posters like this one;
However, prominently displayed with a spotlight shinning on it before you walk into my office will be this one.
Hat tip to Mr. Ryan Fuller.
And someday I will be in such position of power, that I will not have one of these "motivational" posters;
But rather "de-motivational" posters like this one;
However, prominently displayed with a spotlight shinning on it before you walk into my office will be this one.
Hat tip to Mr. Ryan Fuller.
The 2 Cylinder Mustang Convertible
I am posting from Camp Verde, AZ. And the only reason, the SOLE ONLY REASON I PULLED OVER WAS IN HOPES THE GAS STATION WOULD HAVE INTERNET ACCESS SO I COULD SHARE THIS INGENIOUS IDEA I JUST HAD!
The 2 cylinder Ford Mustang!
Yes!
You see, I think there's a HUGE market for a 2 cylinder Ford Mustang. For while driving out of Phoenix, I've spent the past 2 hours getting behind no less than 30 of those new Ford Mustangs. And the reason I'm behind them is because they're always in the left lane, driving next to a semi-truck, going the exact same speed which is usually 5 miles per hour UNDER the speed limit.
Inevitably we hit a mountain and the SEMI-TRUCK usually pulls ahead of the Ford Mustang,, allowing me the chance to pass. And when you pass people who clog up the left lane, you almost have this biological urge to look over and see what they look like. As if you're going to see some physical ailment that would explain why they're such retards for driving 10 MPH below the speed limit in the left lane.
Half expecting to see a 12 year old child at the wheel, the only thing I visually noticed that was out of the 30 or so Mustangs I passed, 25 we're occupied by normal looking, gray-haired middle aged couples with big smiles on their face. Not because they were vindictive and knew they had held me and half of the northbound traffic out of Phoenix up for the past 8 hours, but because they were driving a really cool and sweet Ford Mustang and just enjoying the cruise on a beautiful day, completely ignorant of the Rule of the Left Lane.
And this is a tragedy. For I don't think that I saw one Mustang that was using all 6 or 8 of its cylinders. I did not see one Mustang even pushed to 1/2 of its performance limits. If I was in that car, I'd not be in Camp Verde, I'd be in Canada right now.
Thus, since it is obvious that the slightly elder generation wants to buy the classical looking Mustangs that have come out in the past year, but don't want an actual sports car, I recommend the Ford Motor Corporation develop the 2 cylinder Ford Mustang, because that's about all the cylinders they're going to need.
"Yes, the 2 cylinder Ford Mustang. It looks cool, but drives slow! Are you in no particular rush to be anywhere? Want to take up precious traffic space in the left lane? Looking to get great fuel efficiency, but absolutely no performance whatsoever? Then get the 2 Cylinder Ford Mustang! It just looks cool, but it's not!"
And for all of you folk that have already bought Mustangs with all those nasty cylinders, don't worry you can donate it me and the younger folk. We'll take them off your hands and drive them like they were intended to be driven.
Now I must go. I think in the past 30 minutes of typing and eating and fueling, the Mustang Caravan might be catching up to me.
The 2 cylinder Ford Mustang!
Yes!
You see, I think there's a HUGE market for a 2 cylinder Ford Mustang. For while driving out of Phoenix, I've spent the past 2 hours getting behind no less than 30 of those new Ford Mustangs. And the reason I'm behind them is because they're always in the left lane, driving next to a semi-truck, going the exact same speed which is usually 5 miles per hour UNDER the speed limit.
Inevitably we hit a mountain and the SEMI-TRUCK usually pulls ahead of the Ford Mustang,, allowing me the chance to pass. And when you pass people who clog up the left lane, you almost have this biological urge to look over and see what they look like. As if you're going to see some physical ailment that would explain why they're such retards for driving 10 MPH below the speed limit in the left lane.
Half expecting to see a 12 year old child at the wheel, the only thing I visually noticed that was out of the 30 or so Mustangs I passed, 25 we're occupied by normal looking, gray-haired middle aged couples with big smiles on their face. Not because they were vindictive and knew they had held me and half of the northbound traffic out of Phoenix up for the past 8 hours, but because they were driving a really cool and sweet Ford Mustang and just enjoying the cruise on a beautiful day, completely ignorant of the Rule of the Left Lane.
And this is a tragedy. For I don't think that I saw one Mustang that was using all 6 or 8 of its cylinders. I did not see one Mustang even pushed to 1/2 of its performance limits. If I was in that car, I'd not be in Camp Verde, I'd be in Canada right now.
Thus, since it is obvious that the slightly elder generation wants to buy the classical looking Mustangs that have come out in the past year, but don't want an actual sports car, I recommend the Ford Motor Corporation develop the 2 cylinder Ford Mustang, because that's about all the cylinders they're going to need.
"Yes, the 2 cylinder Ford Mustang. It looks cool, but drives slow! Are you in no particular rush to be anywhere? Want to take up precious traffic space in the left lane? Looking to get great fuel efficiency, but absolutely no performance whatsoever? Then get the 2 Cylinder Ford Mustang! It just looks cool, but it's not!"
And for all of you folk that have already bought Mustangs with all those nasty cylinders, don't worry you can donate it me and the younger folk. We'll take them off your hands and drive them like they were intended to be driven.
Now I must go. I think in the past 30 minutes of typing and eating and fueling, the Mustang Caravan might be catching up to me.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Why You Can't Argue with a Liberal
A liberal friend of mine (yes I have them) sent me this as she knows my affinity for charts.
And key to understanding this is that she is about 55 years old
The reason that this is key that any truly (and I mean this) independently thinking individual who is intellectually honest will look at each "item" and say, "wait a minute, that is..." fill in the blank.
"Fill in the blank"
Irrelevant
Not adjusted for inflation
Not adjusted for the size of the economy
Cherry picked data (my personal favorite is the 4 countries whose opinion of the US has dropped...OUT OF 176 FREAKING NATIONS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!)
In anycase, long story short, for I am on vacation, it is the perfect example of why you really can't argue with a liberal beyond a certain age, because they have an ideology they're going to subscribe to and will find the data that FITS that ideology, never letting the data or fact actually form their ideology.
I know this chart will be frustrating because it is so disingenuous plus there are some outright lies (and I like how they cite their figures) but take solace in the fact that this is literally their "best" argument. Additionally, this should emphasize the importance of being intellectually honest. If you really do care about society and your fellow man, you wouldn't resort to such pathetic tricks and selective data when it comes to advocating how an entire nation should be governed.
Additionally, I might have said something to the extent that "Under President Washington income per capita was only $560. Wow, he sucks even worse than Bush."
Again, why you should leave the adjusting for inflation to the professionals.
And key to understanding this is that she is about 55 years old
The reason that this is key that any truly (and I mean this) independently thinking individual who is intellectually honest will look at each "item" and say, "wait a minute, that is..." fill in the blank.
"Fill in the blank"
Irrelevant
Not adjusted for inflation
Not adjusted for the size of the economy
Cherry picked data (my personal favorite is the 4 countries whose opinion of the US has dropped...OUT OF 176 FREAKING NATIONS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!)
In anycase, long story short, for I am on vacation, it is the perfect example of why you really can't argue with a liberal beyond a certain age, because they have an ideology they're going to subscribe to and will find the data that FITS that ideology, never letting the data or fact actually form their ideology.
I know this chart will be frustrating because it is so disingenuous plus there are some outright lies (and I like how they cite their figures) but take solace in the fact that this is literally their "best" argument. Additionally, this should emphasize the importance of being intellectually honest. If you really do care about society and your fellow man, you wouldn't resort to such pathetic tricks and selective data when it comes to advocating how an entire nation should be governed.
Additionally, I might have said something to the extent that "Under President Washington income per capita was only $560. Wow, he sucks even worse than Bush."
Again, why you should leave the adjusting for inflation to the professionals.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Cats are Not a Substitute for a Boyfriend
OK, look, ladies let me help you because I genuinely care to help. I do!
Cats are not cool.
No, I know you think they are. But in fact, they are not.
No, actually quite the contrary. Yale physicists and paleontologists trace the cats' evolutionary origins from Hell.
It's true, saw it on the Discovery Channel. Not making this up. Scouts honor.
Anyway, yes, cats are from Hell apparently and in reality they do not, repeat do NOT help you get a boyfriend. They actually plot AGAINST your getting a boyfriend, that's if they're not planning your death whilst you sleep. Worse still they actually deter you from getting a boyfriend ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'VE BECOME SO ACCUSTOMED TO THEM THAT YOU LET THEIR STENCH AND ODOR FERMENT IN YOUR APARTMENT, INFUSING ITSELF INTO THE WALLS SO WHEN PEOPLE FROM THE OUTSIDE COME IN AND TAKE ONE WHIFF THEY DIE!!!
And it's not a stark, chemically, skunk smell. No, it's a biological, cat urine, 6 month old kitty liter smell. That the biological remnants of whatever cause cat stench is taking on a new, merged, mutated life form with improved odor.
Also, most people have an allergy to cats. So, you know, maybe vacuum the 3 inches of cat hair that has accumulated on your couch? And it would help that instead of 7 cats, you know you just get one? The American Dental Association says 4 out of 5 dentists prefer less cats. So, you know, there you go.
Anyway, only reason I bring this up is because a good friend of mine has decided to let me crash at her joint whilst I vacation here in Arizona (for I am an economist and it is cheaper to house sit than to pay for a hotel). And the truth is her cats are not that bad nor is her hygiene habits in cleaning up after them. However, as I house sit for three cats the smell has triggered memories I tried to forget long ago.
Just doing a public service announcement.
Cats are not cool.
No, I know you think they are. But in fact, they are not.
No, actually quite the contrary. Yale physicists and paleontologists trace the cats' evolutionary origins from Hell.
It's true, saw it on the Discovery Channel. Not making this up. Scouts honor.
Anyway, yes, cats are from Hell apparently and in reality they do not, repeat do NOT help you get a boyfriend. They actually plot AGAINST your getting a boyfriend, that's if they're not planning your death whilst you sleep. Worse still they actually deter you from getting a boyfriend ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'VE BECOME SO ACCUSTOMED TO THEM THAT YOU LET THEIR STENCH AND ODOR FERMENT IN YOUR APARTMENT, INFUSING ITSELF INTO THE WALLS SO WHEN PEOPLE FROM THE OUTSIDE COME IN AND TAKE ONE WHIFF THEY DIE!!!
And it's not a stark, chemically, skunk smell. No, it's a biological, cat urine, 6 month old kitty liter smell. That the biological remnants of whatever cause cat stench is taking on a new, merged, mutated life form with improved odor.
Also, most people have an allergy to cats. So, you know, maybe vacuum the 3 inches of cat hair that has accumulated on your couch? And it would help that instead of 7 cats, you know you just get one? The American Dental Association says 4 out of 5 dentists prefer less cats. So, you know, there you go.
Anyway, only reason I bring this up is because a good friend of mine has decided to let me crash at her joint whilst I vacation here in Arizona (for I am an economist and it is cheaper to house sit than to pay for a hotel). And the truth is her cats are not that bad nor is her hygiene habits in cleaning up after them. However, as I house sit for three cats the smell has triggered memories I tried to forget long ago.
Just doing a public service announcement.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Blowing Up Satellites
Hello all Junior, Deputy, Official and otherwise Aspiring Economists!
The Captain is on vacation and will not be making lot's of posts as I'm hiking out in the wilderness and sleeping at waysides (as hotels cost money, and it is more economical). Plus I'm out in Arizona and this is a big state with a lot of open spaces where there is no internet access.
Regardless, I am posting from scenic Jerome, AZ which is a quaint town.
In anycase, read an article in The Economist on the way down here about how the Chinese a couple months back decided to blow up a satellite.
I remember the American response, according to the media, that we were appalled and this was saber rattling and China just showing us that they could knock out our satellites, which would impair a fair amount of the military.
However, I found out the real reason for NASA's angst and that was in blowing up just one aging satellite the Chinese literally bolstered the amount of debris floating around which, when coming in contact with a rocket flying at mach 7, results in a fair amount of damage. Thus the chart which I found interesting;
In any case, will be back later in the week. Postings will be sparse.
The Captain is on vacation and will not be making lot's of posts as I'm hiking out in the wilderness and sleeping at waysides (as hotels cost money, and it is more economical). Plus I'm out in Arizona and this is a big state with a lot of open spaces where there is no internet access.
Regardless, I am posting from scenic Jerome, AZ which is a quaint town.
In anycase, read an article in The Economist on the way down here about how the Chinese a couple months back decided to blow up a satellite.
I remember the American response, according to the media, that we were appalled and this was saber rattling and China just showing us that they could knock out our satellites, which would impair a fair amount of the military.
However, I found out the real reason for NASA's angst and that was in blowing up just one aging satellite the Chinese literally bolstered the amount of debris floating around which, when coming in contact with a rocket flying at mach 7, results in a fair amount of damage. Thus the chart which I found interesting;
In any case, will be back later in the week. Postings will be sparse.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Interest Rates Should Go Down
Set aside the Fisher Formula and what have you and consider this. While the markets and the economy may be on the brink to head into recession, the silver lining, and it's a big one for it directly affects the forces causing today's havoc and headaches is that interest rates, short and long term, will go down. Lower interest rates mean increased demand for housing, which might not necessarily "save" the housing market, but certainly could make this spring at least "better" than it has been. Not to mention if rates decrease enough, a smaller "refinance boom" might occur as people take whatever steps they can to tighten their finances.
Regardless, sorry for the lack of posts, but it's that greatest time of the year;
Tax Season.
Regardless, sorry for the lack of posts, but it's that greatest time of the year;
Tax Season.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Operation Market Garden Hits the Financial World
In light of the stock market crashing, and Merrill Lynch and Citigroup posting losses and the economy on the precipice of recession, I thought it worthwhile to bring up an old post of mine.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The Captain's Economic Advice
I shall bring up an old idea I had a while ago that if we really wanted to help America avoid a recession and put her back on track, the the most effective stimulus package would not be to cut taxes (though that wouldn't hurt) or increase government spending. It would be to make any paying down of your mortgage tax deductible.
CDO's might have some value and start trading again. Defaults would go down. Interest rates would go down. And the future solvency of America would improve.
But, as always with modern day America, that's unconventional! That won't work! It's too revolutionary! Why it's so simple, it's like a sales tax replacing an income tax! It just can't be done! It's like Obama winning the democratic nomination! Why, next thing you know women will be getting their husbands martini's, men will learn how to wear suits and buy flowers for their wives, and children will be forced to do their homework and get good grades! What you think this is some mythical place like 1940's America?
CDO's might have some value and start trading again. Defaults would go down. Interest rates would go down. And the future solvency of America would improve.
But, as always with modern day America, that's unconventional! That won't work! It's too revolutionary! Why it's so simple, it's like a sales tax replacing an income tax! It just can't be done! It's like Obama winning the democratic nomination! Why, next thing you know women will be getting their husbands martini's, men will learn how to wear suits and buy flowers for their wives, and children will be forced to do their homework and get good grades! What you think this is some mythical place like 1940's America?
You Can't Make This Up
I hope when I am dead at least I will leave this little blog as kind of a record of history of how things happened. But most importantly, when they inevitably do prove global warming to be a hoax, that these pictures will be used to historically document the idiocy of it all, along with Dotcom Mania, Beanie Babies and the hopes of the Minnesota Vikings winning a super bowl.
Giggity Giggity Over Stock Market Valuations
Housing was overvalued, we knew that....well some independent thinking younger folk knew that. Obviously not the higher ups at Wall Street's "elite" bulge bracket" who were paid multiple hundreds of millions of dollars in compensation to run America's largest financial institutions into the ground. But why rub salt into blue blooder's wounds?
In any case there is another asset bubble. I've always worried about what would happen when the Baby Boomers retire instead of contribute $60 billion per month in 401k contributions, instead started selling out of stocks and move to fixed income? But complicate that with the prospect of American companies losing money or at least not making as much money as they previously did and the stock market looks precipitously close to a crash.
Of course this has already started happening as the primary driver of American corporate profits has come to a stand still; property values and very loose, borderline charitable credit.
Alas why I like the chart provided by Professor Genius Robert Shiller who has measured the S&P 500's P/E ratio going back to 1881. The average multiple at which a stock's price trades above it's earnings is about 16.
Today its around 40% more its historical average. Though this chart does not include the market's follies in the past month, the market could still have a way to go before it gets back in line with historical trends.
But don't worry. They're TALKING about THINKING about CONTEMPLATING about PONDERING the CONCEPT of MAYBE implementing a THEORETICAL stimulus package in Washington.
Giggity, freaking, giggity.
In any case there is another asset bubble. I've always worried about what would happen when the Baby Boomers retire instead of contribute $60 billion per month in 401k contributions, instead started selling out of stocks and move to fixed income? But complicate that with the prospect of American companies losing money or at least not making as much money as they previously did and the stock market looks precipitously close to a crash.
Of course this has already started happening as the primary driver of American corporate profits has come to a stand still; property values and very loose, borderline charitable credit.
Alas why I like the chart provided by Professor Genius Robert Shiller who has measured the S&P 500's P/E ratio going back to 1881. The average multiple at which a stock's price trades above it's earnings is about 16.
Today its around 40% more its historical average. Though this chart does not include the market's follies in the past month, the market could still have a way to go before it gets back in line with historical trends.
But don't worry. They're TALKING about THINKING about CONTEMPLATING about PONDERING the CONCEPT of MAYBE implementing a THEORETICAL stimulus package in Washington.
Giggity, freaking, giggity.
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