My Bondage-A-Go-Go-Girl Story

Occasionally, kind of akin to Michael Savage when he talks about his days as a youth, my friends suggest instead of a lecture on economics, that I regale my audience occasionally with more personable stories. And after telling a group of new friends my bondage-a-go-go girl story, they all demanded I put it up here, so pour yourself a martini, light up a cigar if you have it, settle in and enjoy.

It was 1998 and I was all of 22 years old. I frequented a club called “The Front” in Minneapolis for it was the very first place to have swing dancing. It was a great place (still is) with a Tiki-Martini Lounge theme and they had live bands like Tony DeMarco, Vic Volare and a whole host of other bands. But it was also called “The Front” because it was the front part of a larger club called “Ground Zero.” Ground Zero was an industrial, techno-rave discoteque that had this kind of “dance-girls-in-cages-men-wearing-leashes-bondage” theme. The upstairs of which you could pay a scantily-leather-clad dominatrix or dominator (depending on your preference) to torture you in front of the masses. Things like electrocuting clamps, pouring hot wax on you and so forth. It was quite surreal.

In any case, in my youthful age of 22, I ended up dating Jackie who was the bartender at The Front and was also 30. Giddy as a school boy, we only dated about a month or so, until she broke my poor youthful heart on the grounds I was too young for her and she felt guilty dating me. Regardless, she was a nice gal, almost church going, and all we did was date and smooch a little bit, but alas, that’s all it was meant to be.

So fast forward 7 years and me and my buddy Tony (the singer of the club who I befriended) were reminiscing about the good ole days at The Front.

I said, “Do you remember The Front.”

Tony responded, “Yeah, I remember The Front. Those were good days back then.”

I said, “Nothing exciting, but I used to date Jackie. You know, that cute blond that was the bartender at The Front.”

Tony, kind of surprised, turned and looked at me and said, “You dated Jackie the dominatrix?”

I said, “No, no, I dated Jackie, the bartender at The Front.”

He replied, “You dated the dominatrix!"

I said, “No, Jackie, the bartender at The Front! She was the girl serving drinks at The Front. That’s who I dated.”

Smugly he then replied, “Jackie, the bartender at The Front, WAS the dominatrix!”

In disbelief, I said, “Wha?”

“You mean to tell me, you were dating the dominatrix and you DIDN’T KNOW!?”

Tony who was, and still is, one of the most somber, darker individuals I know, never laughed so hard in his life.

I said, “Well how the hell was I supposed to know! She didn’t have whips or anything in her house! It’s almost as if she was going to church or something!”

Never before had I felt so cheated. I almost felt more cheated out of that, than the social security I’ll never get. She seemed like a normal, almost quiet-like girl. And then, seven years after the fact, I found out I was dating Minneapolis’ premiere dominatrix.

And thus concludes my bondage-a-go-go girl story.

Ah, Another Obama Supporter

Is it me, but do all the protesters and leftists have to look like they've just got out of rehab?

Just another reason to vote for McCain.

ht to SDA

Teen Pregnancy Rates

Yea for us. We come in first place in a competition we want to lose.

"ARE" Becoming Addicted?

What happened to the 60's?

Das Uber Nanny State

Liberals and leftists, to simplify, are not only cowardly, but insist their cowardice upon others. Why do I say this? Because they have not the appetite for risk. And if they have not the appetite to take a chance, then therefore neither should you, for by comparison then they would look all wimpy, and, well, liberal.

The reason I say this is because it seems liberals are against anything risky, and therefore anything fun. For fun is a direct function of risk.

For example smoking a cigar. Smoking a cigar is fun, but there is a risk (although minute) that you will contract cancer and die.

Fireworks, those are fun. Hell of a lot of fun. But one could blow up in your face and kill you, so you better stick with the "liberal's firework;" the sparkler.

Sports cars, ahhhh, lots of fun. But they go fast and you might crash into something. Better get a Prius.

Eating peanuts is fun too. But there's a 1 in a billion chance some kid some where might catch wind of your peanut odor and croak and die. So we ban peanuts from schools.

Everywhere, everything that brings us the slightest bit of joy or happiness, even if it isn't a vice, is under attack from those who want to rule over us in a totalitarian manner under the false guise of "being concerned for our safety."

Thus I was glad to see the odds of death published by The Economist by various accidents so as to see just how paranoid over-protective-anti-fun-fascist-nanny-state-leftists were.



The most common accident is poison, which would in my estimation warrant an overly protective mother to call poison control should her little children eat a mushroom.
But look at what almost every community organizer goes after like a pit bull to ban and wears a badge of honor should they manage to ban it;

Fireworks.

1 in 1.9 million chance of you getting killed by a firework. That meant if we all played with fire works and every American handled them and played with them dangerously every year only 150 of us would die.

You are even more likely to get killed by your PJ's catching afire at night than by getting killed by a firecracker. You are 20 times more likely to get killed by lightning than by a firework.

Of course, it doesn't matter what the chances are, there's still a chance. And therefore, still an excuse for the nazi's to tell you what you can and cannot do.

You Will Visit Paul Zimmerman

Visit, now! Quickly! Do it now! click here!

Dirty Disgusting Men

Apparently, according to a poll women are more honest, more creative more out-going and more intelligent than men. Yet, we still prefer men to lead.


Arguably why Bill Clinton got elected.

In the meantime I'm going to go bang some rocks with sticks and have a feces throwing contest with some of my other crude, boorish, moronic male friends.

This is Too Rich

Long story short, Palin made a slight against community organizers whilst here at the RNC about how they don't really do any "real work" (and this I am paraphrasing). It made the rounds in some of the more leftist circles and begat a response from Wellstone.org, whose namesake is the late senator Paul Wellstone who was one of Minnesota's genuine socialist senators.

The response (located here) only confirms community organizers or the caliber of people that would participate in such a thing have NO CLUE what real work is like. The person making the post lists off her "hectic" schedule which consists of a ghastly 4 items.



I'm sure anybody who works in the real world would trounce this "to do list" with their schedule.

Regardless, this corroborates what I've more or less known to be true the entire time; for the most part (but not always) "community organizers" are people who don't want to study math or anything too hard that would get them a real job and would therefore rather do something fluffy and not-so-rigorous to make themselves feel better.

It also goes a long way in showing just how hypocritical they are when they say, "it's putting the community ahead of yourself and your ego" as the person is not doing it for anything as noble as the "community" or to effect "change" as it is inflating their own ego to make themselves feel like they have some kind of self worth. The ultimate success they have in improving the community comes a distant second to that. They don't dare go and dedicate a significant portion of their lives to learn a new technology or embark on a business venture that would employ people in the community and do something sustainable and long term to improve the lots of the members in the community. No, that would take too much time and why, they'd have to put some of their own money at risk. They'd just rather say they care and work on campaigns and initiatives to stop garbage burners from going into a neighborhood or preventing a Wal-Mart from going in across the street. Meanwhile very real and serious problems that dwarf their self-aggrandizing crusades, like unemployment jumping to 6.1%, REALLY threaten the community they so solemnly have sworn to protect.

Regardless, I have to go to the eye doctor now to move my eyes back into position because they rolled so hard when I read the web site.

Chinese Don't Major in Sociology

This chart is supposed to show a decrease in the seemingly limitless pool of Chinese labor. I noticed it because it doesn't look like any of them majored in sociology.

For reference I just imaged searched "sociology majors" and came up with this for comparison;



The question I ask all of ye out there, who is contributing more to GDP?

Post script- Langman made an astute observation and I thought it warranted mentioning;


Sadly, Langman, you have to realize that to the sociology majors of the world, it's not REALLY about helping out the poor people, as much as it is doing the least amount of work to make THEMSELVES feel better. Ergo, it doesn't matter if the place is still a dump 7 years later, all that matters (in their mind) is that they tried. And warm fuzzies for everybody muffle the fact they've achieved effectively nothing.

It is the most hypocritical, shallow exception I take with the "charity pimps" of the world. It's not really about the cause, it's all about them. The poor starving people of country "x" are merely a means to make rich, spoiled preppy Americans who are too lazy to study math feel good about themselves.

How the Captain Vets His VP Candidates

Why do you hate America?

More Recession Time!

It's recession time, yes recession time,
Hey fetch me a scotch with lemon and lime;

The Misery Index

Just spreading the misery. It's about as bad as it's been since the last real recession;

My Advice to 20 Somethings

I teach two online classes, both of which are in the realm of personal financial management. The problem I face however is that everybody, regardless of age, is interested in personal financial management and therefore it is difficult to tailor these classes to such a wide audience as the specific advice or recommended course of financial action varies depending on you age. But if there is one thing I would like to convey to a particular age or group of people it would be to the 20 somethings and that advice would be;

Don't bother working hard until you're at least 35.

And the reason I say this is simple; nobody takes you seriously as an adult and therefore will not give you opportunities to excel and advance until you are 35 or so.

I will concede that this was more of an intuition and was not brought about to a fully crystalized thought until I heard Rush Limbaugh say, "You really can't make any money until you're in your 40's" and after he said that (and I had myself a 3 hour drive yet to complete) I started to think about why that was. Sadly, I figured out why.

Let us say you are a really intelligent, really smart, really hard working 20 something. The major problem and the most debilitating disability you face to your career is that the rest of your peers are more or less incompetent ef-offs and losers. They expect to have everything handed to them. They expect that majoring in a fluff major like sociology is going to get them $60,000 a year. And, worse still, if they're like most affluent preppy Ambercrombie and Fitch suburbanite children, they have the parents that can subsidize them at that standard of living until they find such employment (or such a spouse that will provide them a similar standard of living).

This is not attractive to employers as such an attitude does not behoove any level of loyalty, responsibility, honor, integrity or reliability. This is also not attractive to employers as most children coming out of college (and I mean that in an insulting and "mean" sense) can't even tell you that Canada is to our north and make great fodder for Jay Leno's "Jaywalking."

The whole point is for those of you young, budding, idealistic 20 somethings out there who are smart, who did study hard and are mature, responsible adults, you have to realize that you are the victim of your peers. The "eagle who cannot soar with the turkeys" of sorts. And the reason I bring this up (and am more passionate about this than most of my other financial advice) is that your 20's are technically your physical prime or "youth." And to waste it trying to pursue a career or make something of yourself is foolish. Nobody is going to take you seriously because you are a victim of your generation's general idiocy and spoiled-brat-rotteness. Nobody is going to give you any semblance of responsibility or commensurate compensation because they are just going to assume you're incompetent just like the rest of the 20 somethings and will therefore relegate you to some mundane mediocre task with no hope of advancement or promotion.

Ergo, this is the real economic rationale as to why you should just throw away your 20's in terms of career and just enjoy life while you have your health. Go climb mountains, go become a ski bum, go to Europe and stay at youth hostiles, smoke, drink, dance and makey with the bam bam. Simply because any attempt at establishing some sort of "career" or "profession" is simply going to be met and stymied by skeptical (and rightfully so) baby boomers who are cynical about your ability to do anything competently.

And then, and only then, after you've gotten your fill of life and travel and general tomfoolery, plus maybe you're sporting a couple gray hairs, it is a must you get your masters degree towards the later 20's or early 30's of your life. This then adds credibility to your non-existent credibility that nobody will give you, until you pass that precious 30 year old mark and become (as accordance with Jewish culture) a "mensch." It will also leap-frog you over your competitors as you enter not only the work force, but employers deem you a viable candidate in the work force, simply because you're over 30.

Understand I mean this as sincere and honest advice, meant to help those of you youth out there looking for direction. I do not mean to offend you youth somehow claiming because you're young, you therefore must be incompetent. I am merely trying to prevent other youth from making the same mistake I did, and give you a better life than I had. And take it from me (and I bet you'll get the same response from similarly aged folk as myself) goofing around in your 20's and not bothering to start a career until your 30 is arguably the best financial advice you're going to get.

The 2008 Election Summed Up

(compliments of Foxnews.com)

And that, my friends, more or less sums up this election.

I don't like McCain.

I loathe preppy-boy-Amercrombie-and-Fitch Obama.

But it's a question of whether America's youth can set down their Legos and easily infatuated-by-looks females can be intellectually honest and see through his looks and manicured-metrosexuality for the socialist he is, or whether they just plain don't give a damn about their responsibility of being a citizen of a democracy and therefore their required stewardship of this nation, and will vote for Obama because he's "pretty."

So save yourself days of your finite life and don't bother reading anymore speculation or watching the "latest campaign coverage." My analysis (and Joe's) is basically all there is to it.

You Will Visit the Major

As all of you know, I am not really a captain. About the only thing I can claim to be was a "lieutenant" of sorts at the U of MN Police Department's Security Services Division or more simply, a highly ranked "campus cop."

Ergo, you should and will visit the major, who not only outranks me, but is also a real veteran.

That is a direct order.

Genocide!

There was a song from the anime "Trigun" where a pacifist with an undeserved reputation for killing millions uses his tarnished fame to scare a bunch of kidnappers into letting their hostages go. Whilst tracking them down in a warehouse he goes on the intercom he sings the following song;

"Total slaughter.
Total slaughter.
I won't leave a single man alive.
La di die die!
Genocide.
La di da di dud.
And ocean of blood.
Let's begin,
The killing time."

I was naturally reminded of this toe tapper when I saw this chart in of all places, the National Geographic.

Not exactly known for its right-leaning politics, I'm amazed they showed this chart showing their socialist predecessors killing more people than any other group in the world. And need I remind you those "right-wing Nazi's" were in fact, socialists.

I Got Your Energy Independence Right Here

In the US.

Potential 800 billion barrels.

Or should we excuse it away like we did ANWR that it will "take 8 years to bring the oil to market" much like you would dismiss the obvious idiocy in getting a doctorate degree;

"What? A doctorate? Why that would take 8 years! What a waste of time!"

Greetings from Wyoming

Here's two pictures. In a rush. One is the top of Avalanche peak which is French for "avalanche."


The other is one of the many geysers out here.

Drill in ANWR or the Polar Bear Gets It

I had just finished a very long day at Yellowstone National Park. Did the whole geyser tour, hiked about a cumulative of 5 miles in the sulphur smelling gas they exude and then decided to climb Mt. Washburn which is 10,300 ft towards the later afternoon. Came down Washburn Moutain with only one thing in mind; food. Price was no concern, quality was no concern, I would have killed a buffalo and eaten it raw right in front of a ranger if I had seen one. So I headed south into a small village/town called Canyon and there was a place called “The Canyon Lodge.”

There’s a 20 minute wait, but it didn’t matter it was the only place to eat. Soon enough we get called and I open the menu. Prices are exorbitant. A Rueben sandwich cost $14, a salad was $12, but I didn’t care, I was that hungry. So while we wait for our waitress I start reading the backside of the menu which goes over the history of the Canyon Lodge;

“We here are the Canyon Lodge understand how important nature and the environment are to the world. That’s why we here at the Canyon Lodge strive to do our best to recycle and use only natural, organic foods to not only do our best for the environment but help others of diverse cultural, ethnic, socio and economic backgrounds do theirs.”

I got up, looked at my buddy across the table and said, “F#ck this sh!t. We’re outta here!”

My buddy said, “But we’re starving and there’s no restaurants for miles.”

I said, “I don’t care. I’m willing to drive back to Cody to avoid paying these a$$holes any of my money.” Which is precisely what we did.

For while Cody was 80 miles away, back in Cody was a place called Irma’s. Irma’s is a bar/restaurant/roadhouse. We stopped there before and martini’s cost $2.50, you could smoke, Texas Hold Em was going on in the back, they had Wi-Fi and their Rueben’s didn’t cost $14. All in all it was the classical case of a capitalist entity running circles around a socialist entity in terms of quality and price. But the real reason I was willing to drive the 80 miles back to Cody was that their menus wouldn’t preach or proselytize to use some leftist, socialist, enviro-Nazi creed. Cody treated their customers like adults and instead of TELLING the customer how they should live their lives (while coincidentally serving overpriced food at the same time) their primary goal was to run a good bar and restaurant and not give a damn how you led your life.

And this is an important lesson for all you global-warming freaks, Obama-social-justice-types and varied sorts of holier-than-thou crusading liberals out there; you will piss off and enrage more people by lecturing and proselytizing to people your warped little religion than just letting us be and letting us make our own decisions for ourselves. It’s like any type of religious zealot coming up to your house, knocking on your door and trying to ram their religion down your throat. You will do more damage than good for your cause.

Worse still for your little do-nothing-but-make-myself-feel-better-crusade, I fathom there will inevitably be a backlash. Forget the fact YOU caused me to burn more gas to drive out to Cody on pure principle and ultimately countered your intentions of fighting global warming. What if every time I hear about some global warming fraud spewing his crap, I get sick of it and just to piss him off and counter his intentions I decide to burn a gallon of gas? Or drive my 8 cylinder car instead of the motorcycle? What if every time somebody hears about ANWR being denied drilling by congress, they decide to go and hunt down a polar bear? Or better yet, I become a “polar bear terrorist” and hold hostage 40 polar bears and unless “my demands you open ANWR are met, the 40 polar bears get it!” killing more polar bears than ANWR ever would? Or for every time ELF burns a Hummer dealership, somebody decides to go and burn a Prius dealership?

Of course, these things are extreme, and most hard working capitalists are too busy earning a living to have time to go on little polar bear assassination crusades (unlike our leftist counterparts), but I think the time is nigh for me to stop recycling, start a weekly “gallon o’ gas burning event” and start burning Styrofoam, paint and whatever other things I shouldn’t be doing and others should do the same. Anything to cause more “damage” to the environment in the eyes of these environmentalist zealots in retaliation for their arrogance to dare lecture and proselytize to us about how we lead our lives.

American's Don't Know What It Means to Spend Within Their Means

Unless they're buying a new boat with the last morsel of home equity they built up in their house, it seems Americans, despite some of the lowest taxes in the developed world and higher income per capita than most, still are unaware just how well off they are;