REMEMBER, YOU TOO CAN ENTER THE COMPETITION AND WIN CAPTAIN CAPITALISCIOUS GOODIES AND PRIZES!
E-mail your charts to;
CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Entrant # 10 - Captain Capitalism's 2009 Annual Chart Contest
A good old fashioned housing chart from Gregg!
REMEMBER, YOU TOO CAN ENTER THE COMPETITION AND WIN CAPTAIN CAPITALISCIOUS GOODIES AND PRIZES!
E-mail your charts to;
CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com
REMEMBER, YOU TOO CAN ENTER THE COMPETITION AND WIN CAPTAIN CAPITALISCIOUS GOODIES AND PRIZES!
E-mail your charts to;
CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com
You Will Help Big Oil
I had this sent to me by my tippy top super secret (and obviously) evil reincarnate contact with BIG OIL (dun dun dunnnnnnnn!!!!!)
Big Oil needs your help.
Actually, it's more like you need your own help because if you'd like to NOT rely on recessions to make gas affordable, then you better start telling your representatives. See below:
Big Oil needs your help.
Actually, it's more like you need your own help because if you'd like to NOT rely on recessions to make gas affordable, then you better start telling your representatives. See below:
Hello, Cpt.,
Do you remember the MMS five-year leasing plan I wrote to you about last September? I have an update for you
But first, here’s some background information: In January, MMS released its 2010-2015 five-year leasing plan which included proposals to open new offshore areas to oil and natural gas development. Despite the fact that the majority of comments submitted by the public supported the plan, Sec. Salazar delayed its implementation. Instead he directed Interior Department scientists to produce new reports on how much oil and gas might be found off the Atlantic and Pacific coasts and extended the public comment period to September. He also scheduled four regional public hearings this month (in Atlantic City, NJ; New Orleans; Anchorage and San Francisco) to gauge Americans’ perspective on increased offshore drilling.
It’s important to note that Americans don’t have to attend a hearing to weigh in on offshore drilling. You and your readers can submit comments to MMS electronically, if desired.
This link will direct you to a page on our Web site where you can learn more about the MMS five-year plan and click-through to submit a public comment. In addition, the page has several resources for bloggers, including a blog badge and an interactive widget that will allow you to identify your Congressional representatives, find them on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, or simply send them an e-mail. The widget is an amazing app – try it out and tell me what you think. And if you like it, embed it in your blog.
I hope you’re doing well and keeping the girls happy!
Monday, April 13, 2009
The Captain Holds Class
Greetings all Cappy Cap readers!
Tis a very happy day for I now have finally been given the go ahead to start advertising my online classes on my blog. I’ve been teaching online classes for quite some time now (since 2002, back when I was but a wee lieutenant), but it wasn’t until now I got the green light to advertise them here.
In any case I have two classes;
“Stocks Bonds and Investing; Oh My!”
And
“The Analysis and Valuation of Stocks.”
The first class is just an introductory course to the basics of personal financial management. It is a great class for anybody, but AN OUTSTANDING class for younger folk. I have often insisted that if we had decent personal financial management education in the schools we would have never had this current economic crisis, arguably never have recessions again, but do yourself or perhaps a younger loved one a favor and take this class. You will save and make infinitely more money than what you spend on it.
The second course is actually the one I’m most proud of. It was originally a seminar I put together in
Also allow me to point out the new advertisement on the right. This is for the company I do the classes through called “Education to Go.” They offer A TON more classes than just the two classes I have, and pretty much have a class for every interest. So if you’re not too excited about taking one of my classes, feel free to click on the link and see what they offer (besides which, you’re ole Captain gets a 10% kick back in case anybody signs up for a class thought that link ;). The link goes to the first class I mentioned, but you can click on the “full catalogue” at the top.
In any case, I would very much appreciate it if you would come visit me and take my classes or even just tell people that might be interested about them. As you know I no longer work a regular day time job and more or less rely on these online classes, my dance classes and other sources of income as a means of support, and I damn well refuse to go to Daddy government for support. So come visit the Captain and learn something new!
Provocateur Jim
You will visit him!
GO DO IT NOW!
DO IT, DO IT NOW!!!!
HURRY UP!!!!
Oh, no, it's too late.
Do it any way.
GO DO IT NOW!
DO IT, DO IT NOW!!!!
HURRY UP!!!!
Oh, no, it's too late.
Do it any way.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
How to Fix the Economy
Economics, as I like to point out, is simple.
It's very, very VERY simple.
I don't like people who take simple things and try to make them seem complicated so as to fool others into thinking they're super smart or something. For example using words like "paradigm." Do you remember that around circa 2001, 2002 or so? "Paradigm" was a word some intellectual elitist had to look up and worked it into his daily vocabulary so as to keep other people from finding out he was in fact a complete freaking moron. Other complete freaking morons, notably MBA's picked up on the trend and started putting it into their vocabulary. This way people in marketing can make it sound like they're doing something productive.
Oh, sure, I like to use new words, but at least I pick them because of their coolness. Like the word "veracity." Now that's a cool word. Or "expeditious." But "paradigm?"
Get your ass back to academia.
In any case, as I said I like to make economics simple and so let me tell you the one thing that would do the most to help turn this economy around. It's so simple and so effective that it practically guarantees the government will not do it;
Eliminate corporate taxes.
Now, set aside if you will, the natural knee jerk leftist reaction and for once instead try to listen to me.
If you eliminated corporate taxes, several things would happen;
1. Corporations not just domestically, but foreign corporations as well would immediately flood the US to not only set up plants and businesses, but move their corporate headquarters here (bringing with them high paying white collar jobs).
2. These new found jobs would have an immediate and decreasing effect on unemployment, which as it approaches double digits, I think by now has the attention of even the most ardent sports fans who cannot retract their heads from their asses long enough to quit paying attention to what the score is for the hockey game and may now in fact be paying attention to the economy.
3. Corporations would immediately repatriate hundreds of billions in profits they are leaving overseas back into the US economy. You want to talk about stimulus that doesn't require indebting future generations into slavery or destroying the currency, try $300 billion in real money within the next 3 months.
4. "What was that? Corporate taxes that were once 40% are now 0%?" Well boys and girls, what kind of effect do you think that would have on the value of stocks? Let me see, if we get to keep 40% more of our money then stocks would be...um.......wait...40% more valuable!!!!! 1.4*8000, would result in a DJIA of 11,200. Would that help your 401k maybe?
Of course, as I said before, eliminating corporate taxes is such a simple and grandiose idea, that it practically guarantees the government will never do it. Besides which, the government is elected by the people. And the people are so incomprehensibly stupid and brainwashed that they love to loathe "evil corporate America" but in the same breath bitch and moan about the halving of their 401k plans.
In the meantime I sit here and enjoy the show smoking my cigar, sipping my martini.
It's very, very VERY simple.
I don't like people who take simple things and try to make them seem complicated so as to fool others into thinking they're super smart or something. For example using words like "paradigm." Do you remember that around circa 2001, 2002 or so? "Paradigm" was a word some intellectual elitist had to look up and worked it into his daily vocabulary so as to keep other people from finding out he was in fact a complete freaking moron. Other complete freaking morons, notably MBA's picked up on the trend and started putting it into their vocabulary. This way people in marketing can make it sound like they're doing something productive.
Oh, sure, I like to use new words, but at least I pick them because of their coolness. Like the word "veracity." Now that's a cool word. Or "expeditious." But "paradigm?"
Get your ass back to academia.
In any case, as I said I like to make economics simple and so let me tell you the one thing that would do the most to help turn this economy around. It's so simple and so effective that it practically guarantees the government will not do it;
Eliminate corporate taxes.
Now, set aside if you will, the natural knee jerk leftist reaction and for once instead try to listen to me.
If you eliminated corporate taxes, several things would happen;
1. Corporations not just domestically, but foreign corporations as well would immediately flood the US to not only set up plants and businesses, but move their corporate headquarters here (bringing with them high paying white collar jobs).
2. These new found jobs would have an immediate and decreasing effect on unemployment, which as it approaches double digits, I think by now has the attention of even the most ardent sports fans who cannot retract their heads from their asses long enough to quit paying attention to what the score is for the hockey game and may now in fact be paying attention to the economy.
3. Corporations would immediately repatriate hundreds of billions in profits they are leaving overseas back into the US economy. You want to talk about stimulus that doesn't require indebting future generations into slavery or destroying the currency, try $300 billion in real money within the next 3 months.
4. "What was that? Corporate taxes that were once 40% are now 0%?" Well boys and girls, what kind of effect do you think that would have on the value of stocks? Let me see, if we get to keep 40% more of our money then stocks would be...um.......wait...40% more valuable!!!!! 1.4*8000, would result in a DJIA of 11,200. Would that help your 401k maybe?
Of course, as I said before, eliminating corporate taxes is such a simple and grandiose idea, that it practically guarantees the government will never do it. Besides which, the government is elected by the people. And the people are so incomprehensibly stupid and brainwashed that they love to loathe "evil corporate America" but in the same breath bitch and moan about the halving of their 401k plans.
In the meantime I sit here and enjoy the show smoking my cigar, sipping my martini.
High School and College Students Don't Know Jack
Little children, who are on their way to becoming nazis to tell you and me what to do.
Here's what I'd like to tell all you little snot nose kids whose parents obviously failed to bring your little egomaniacs up right.
Now get your asses back in school, shut the hell up, try to do some calculus, if you're capable of doing that and when you pay taxes and support yourselves, then we'll give a damn about what you little children have to say.
And shame on the St. Paul City Council for being no more mature.
Here's what I'd like to tell all you little snot nose kids whose parents obviously failed to bring your little egomaniacs up right.
Now get your asses back in school, shut the hell up, try to do some calculus, if you're capable of doing that and when you pay taxes and support yourselves, then we'll give a damn about what you little children have to say.
And shame on the St. Paul City Council for being no more mature.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Just a Fad
Because all it ever was, all it REALLY ever was, was an effortless hobby for worthless, intellectually lazy people who do not contribute to this world to make themselves feel better.
ht
ht
Friday, April 10, 2009
The Economist Gets Desperate
Well it seems my former flame, The Economist, has put up a "poll" about whether or not the productive should be taxed to pay for the parasites.
I went to take the poll (which you can find here) but they require that you sign up a whole slew of information. You aren't signing up for a subscription, but it was obvious they were using this as a means to bolster readership. (I just put in a bunch of BS information).
Regardless, what irks me is how The Economist abandoned its fundamental belief in capitalism and turned its back on nearly 150 years of its logging empirical data, only to support Barack Obama. Additionally, the seemingly shameless attitude to go for increased readership at the expense of integrity or intellectual honest as evidenced here.
In any case, so as to avoid a sampling bias of faux intellectual elitists taking the poll, I thought you normal guys out there might want to go slumming a bit and have a say in the debate, or at least make the poll numbers reflect reality a little bit more and not the limousine liberals' opinions.
Post Edit
Figured I would want to make a couple points that (all you readers know), but if as one person suggests this ever makes it to Glenn Beck, then two obvious charts that he will have to pull will be needed;
1. We already ARE socialist. Especially with Barack Obama putting the Fed tax rate at 30% GDP, you throw state and local and you're nearing 50%.
2. WE ALREADY HAVE PROGRESSIVE TAXATION as duly pointed out by a reader and proved here by the Major's chart entry.
The only real problem we have is a population so damn ignorant, they don't even known we're socialist and so will keep voting to spend more money to the point you will have deterred any production of GDP, thus putting us far along the wrong side of the Laffer Curve.
Tobacco Taxes as a Percent of Cigarette Prices
From the now-fully-pointless Economist;
I would be curious to see how tobacco taxes correlate with the Freedom Index.
I would be curious to see how tobacco taxes correlate with the Freedom Index.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
"Frank" is Pregnant.
You all know Frank!
Well, "Frank" is pregnant.
Tis a little inside joke.
Soon, this is what Frank will look like;
Regardless, congratulate Frank when you get the chance.
Well, "Frank" is pregnant.
Tis a little inside joke.
Soon, this is what Frank will look like;
Regardless, congratulate Frank when you get the chance.
Entrant #8 - Captain Capitalism's 2009 Annual Chart Contest
From John
We're not out of the forest yet on this one.
We're not out of the forest yet on this one.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
When Looks Replace Productivity
So people are now paying for plastic surgery to help them get jobs. But the most telling statement of the article and proof positive this economy will collapse is the following;
When LOOKS replaces SKILLS, forget it. It's over. Pack your bags and get out. It's Idiocracy and it's here.
When LOOKS replaces SKILLS, forget it. It's over. Pack your bags and get out. It's Idiocracy and it's here.
Cancelling Women's Studies
Ah, that harsh economic reality makes a college make an adult decision. And now, they might actually dedicate those resources to HELP the students get degrees in something that will actually get them jobs and improve their lives rather than just make them poorer with nothing to show for it.
HT to the Illustrious Kate
HT to the Illustrious Kate
Victor Borge
I was 19 at the time. I had purchased TWO tickets, 4 months in advance to see Victor Borge in concert. It was the 7th row, dead center, the seats could not have been better.
There was just one minor problem.
It was 1994.
You see, in 1994 the "fad" of Gen X was the "grunge" fad where women dressed like men, men wore nylons on their arms, and everybody pierces everything. And while I thought I would have absolutely no problem finding a female counterpart for my extra ticket, little did I realize it would be such a Herculean task to find a girl from my generation WHO EVEN KNEW WHO VICTOR BORGE FREAKING WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE. My generation had no class. They were (and for the most part) still are, uncultured morons. They thought Kurt Cocaine was cool and the Doors were classic. I should have taken that as the hint as to not bothering to date girls until I was 27 and saved myself a lot of headache (and money).
And so, there I was, unacceptably having to EXPLAIN to girls who Victor Borge was, and not only that, but why they should be practically tripping over themselves to go with me. The sad end of the story was I had to take a girl that didn't know who he was, who was just a friend of mine as in 4 ENTIRE MONTHS I could not find a real date. But what is really sad is the fact I even had to try so hard to find a date for Victor Borge.
Victor of course has passed away now, but before society degrades itself into watching "American Idol" and voting for presidents based on their pecks 24-7, permit me to show you a little bit of Victor Borge so that we all might get a little bit of culture before we're dead;
Another little joke from Victor Borge;
"There is a mother and a daughter in the audience and one of them is celebrating her birthday. However, I am informed it is difficult to tell which one is the mother and which one is the daughter because both ladies, they look very old."
Trump that Simon Cowell.
There was just one minor problem.
It was 1994.
You see, in 1994 the "fad" of Gen X was the "grunge" fad where women dressed like men, men wore nylons on their arms, and everybody pierces everything. And while I thought I would have absolutely no problem finding a female counterpart for my extra ticket, little did I realize it would be such a Herculean task to find a girl from my generation WHO EVEN KNEW WHO VICTOR BORGE FREAKING WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE. My generation had no class. They were (and for the most part) still are, uncultured morons. They thought Kurt Cocaine was cool and the Doors were classic. I should have taken that as the hint as to not bothering to date girls until I was 27 and saved myself a lot of headache (and money).
And so, there I was, unacceptably having to EXPLAIN to girls who Victor Borge was, and not only that, but why they should be practically tripping over themselves to go with me. The sad end of the story was I had to take a girl that didn't know who he was, who was just a friend of mine as in 4 ENTIRE MONTHS I could not find a real date. But what is really sad is the fact I even had to try so hard to find a date for Victor Borge.
Victor of course has passed away now, but before society degrades itself into watching "American Idol" and voting for presidents based on their pecks 24-7, permit me to show you a little bit of Victor Borge so that we all might get a little bit of culture before we're dead;
Another little joke from Victor Borge;
"There is a mother and a daughter in the audience and one of them is celebrating her birthday. However, I am informed it is difficult to tell which one is the mother and which one is the daughter because both ladies, they look very old."
Trump that Simon Cowell.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
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