I had eluded to this before during a trip I took to Arizona where just north of Phoenix there was no limit to the number of Baby Boomers who bought Shelby Mustang GT's, but opted to use only 2 of the 8 cylinders those cars have, clogging traffic to a stand-stillish 45 MPH on the interstate, however, let me tell you of another machine these blue hairs don't deserve;
Harley's.
I'm out in the Wyoming/South Dakota area during the depths of the Sturgis rally and as far as I can tell the Harley riders break down into three camps;
1. Youngish Harley riders who know how to drive, appreciate the rally and go 5-10 MPH over the speed limit.
2. Veteran Harley riders who have gone to the rally when they were younger, are seasons drivers and go 5 MPH over the speed limit.
3. Sunday morning, spectator sport, preppy Harley riders who are now having a midlife crisis and decided, as a hobby to buy a Harley, drive it out to the rally and piss off practically everybody on the road by driving 10-15 MPH UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT.
This is particularly pronounced when you're in the moutains, there's no 4 lanes which would permit you to pass, and never any pass lanes, because the road is too curvy. And there you sit, going 40 MPH down a 7% grade moutain, wearing out your brakes because some suburbanite preppy schmuck with too much money on his hands decided to buy a 900 v-twin, of which 50 cc's he's deciding only to use.
Now I drive arguably the smallest interstate legal bike, a Ninja 250. Just a short breath away from a moped, but I can still pass these $20,000 machines simply because I realize there's more than 1 gear to my bike.
Ergo, fellow Cappy Cap readers and motorcycling enthusiasts, I make a proposal. To make the roads safer, let a lone more efficient, if you pass a Harley rider in a;
1. 250 cc motorcycle
2. A truck
3. A semi truck
4. A cement truck
5. A moped
6. A mobile home (which actually do go faster than these spectator sport Harley riders)
7. Running on foot,
You are allowed to pull them over, commandeer their bike and report them to the local authorities where they will be arrested for abusing a Harley and in turn be given what they're only a decade away from driving anyway;
A Rascal.
And come to think of it, I've seen some rascals driving faster than most of these guys.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Thursday, August 06, 2009
The USDA Finds Out that Children are Expensive
A hat tip to the good men and women at Booker Rising who are probably saying, "No sh!t Sherlock"
For Once Minnesotans Have Their Heads Out of ....
Well, they're doctors at the Mayo clinic, so they might be a wee bit smarter than the average bear.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
No, Wisconsin People ARE That Universally Bad at Driving
A Public Service Announcement from the Captain
(cue PSA music)
I just wanted to let my Minnesotan brethren know that apparently what we thought was untrue;
Wisconsin people do NOT come to our state and drive slow on purpose just to piss us off.
They do it all over.
They reason why?
They're really bad drivers.
Just an observation I've had driving through the various states on vacation.
So don't take it personally. Understand they're just a little slow on the road here, in other states, and in general, just a little slow.
You may continue on with your day now.
Thank you.
(cue PSA music)
I just wanted to let my Minnesotan brethren know that apparently what we thought was untrue;
Wisconsin people do NOT come to our state and drive slow on purpose just to piss us off.
They do it all over.
They reason why?
They're really bad drivers.
Just an observation I've had driving through the various states on vacation.
So don't take it personally. Understand they're just a little slow on the road here, in other states, and in general, just a little slow.
You may continue on with your day now.
Thank you.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Enterprise Rent A Car
I meant to make this post a year ago, but got sidetracked and procrastinated with getting a You Tube account. I only wished I posted it earlier to cost them more business.
Never, ever, rent from Enterprise. And here's not only one reason why you should never rent from Enterprise;
but another reason why you should never rent from Enterprise.
I will spare you the details, but their customer service sucks, they won't repair anything with the car unless "they" can prove you didn't purposely damage their car (because obviously that's what you sent out to do), and if you're stranded in the middle of Wyoming with two flats BECAUSE THEIR TIRES WERE BALD AT 2/32's OF THICKNESS WHEN THEY LEFT THE LOT, they won't help you and will instead leave it up to you to find a way to get the disabled car 150 miles to Rapid City.
This is not hyperbole, this is not rhetoric, this is just plain simple truth. Do not rent from Enterprise ever.
Oh, and to anybody from Enterprise's marketing department that might have googled or Binged your name, yeah, you effed with the wrong guy.
Never, ever, rent from Enterprise. And here's not only one reason why you should never rent from Enterprise;
but another reason why you should never rent from Enterprise.
I will spare you the details, but their customer service sucks, they won't repair anything with the car unless "they" can prove you didn't purposely damage their car (because obviously that's what you sent out to do), and if you're stranded in the middle of Wyoming with two flats BECAUSE THEIR TIRES WERE BALD AT 2/32's OF THICKNESS WHEN THEY LEFT THE LOT, they won't help you and will instead leave it up to you to find a way to get the disabled car 150 miles to Rapid City.
This is not hyperbole, this is not rhetoric, this is just plain simple truth. Do not rent from Enterprise ever.
Oh, and to anybody from Enterprise's marketing department that might have googled or Binged your name, yeah, you effed with the wrong guy.
Monday, August 03, 2009
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Black Hills Playhouse
They asked for it, and so they're now going to get it.
I went to a play today at the Black Hills Playhouse, a theater located in the Black Hills.
Because of their decrepit and aging buildings (they were built during the CCC days) they are facing some repair troubles, to which the governor of South Dakota has recommended moving the playhouse elsewhere in Custer State Park.
Now if you read this article here, it seems that South Dakota governor, Mike Rounds is more than willing to have the Black Hills Playhouse continue on and stay in the Black Hills, preferably in facilities that are not falling apart (and TRUST ME they ARE falling apart, I just saw it 7 hours ago). To which you would think those at the Black Hills Playhouse would feel great about.
Wrong.
Before the play started, up come the manager of the playhouse to make a "cute" announcement about how long the Black Hills Playhouse had been around. A 20 something young lady, standing on her veritable soap box saying;
It had been around longer than the Guthrie in Minneapolis
Some place in Kansas City.
Outlasting the Steppenwolf (I don't care how it's spelled)
Outlasting 12 presidents
and...
15 governors.
The entire crowd laughed and clapped, which suggested to me something of a local politics was at hand (and that I was in about the only liberal crowd in South Dakota...though that was tipped off by the only Obama bumper stickers and effeminate men I saw there).
Regardless, sure enough she told us that Governor Rounds wanted to move the playhouse and that if we liked theater we should call him up and protest, and then triumphantly marched off stage to applause.
Originally, I thought perhaps Governor Rounds was planning on axing the Black Hills Playhouse, but upon doing my research and finding out he just wanted them moved from their tetanus-infested facilities, I got angry. Not because this was another group of leftists begging for more money for something nobody wants and therefore needs to be subsidized by the taxpayer, but just the outright lie I was delivered.
Ergo, let me tell you about the Black Hill's Playhouse.
1. The play was not that good. It was downright awful. Sure some funny parts, but nothing great. It was a musical. I don't blame the actors, I blame the writers. Robert DeNiro couldn't have made that one fly.
2. The arrogance of these people to be so damn pouty and DEMAND those decrepit facilities be upgraded when it's obvious they should be torn down and moved to a new location (if for anything for their own damn safety) angers me. They're on the government's dime (not to mention charity of many donators) and they act like they're choosers when they are beggars.
3. The larger point, understand that the "arts" and "theater" are inexorably intertwined with government financing because IT COULD NOT EXIST ON IT'S OWN. And the reason why is that NOBODY WANTS IT. If it was in demand like I-Pods or Harry Potter movies, they wouldn't need to go to the South Dakota taxpayer like a bum with a cup in their hand. People would willingly pay an adequate price to not only repair/buy new facilities, but generate a profit for its owners and benefactors. However (and now it's time once again boys and girls to break out a pencil and a piece of paper for the Captain is about to make a very important point) all this is, is a group of adult children who want to be paid for their hobby instead of getting a real job like the rest of us and making something the rest of society wants. You see, you morons, you schmucks who go in and work those jobs like programmers, or burger flippers or plumbers, you're idiots. You should get jobs you like, like being an actor, a singer, a writer, an ice cream taster, or a beer judge or a professional video game player. And if society won't pay for it, then DEMAND the government subsidize you. And not only subsidize you, complain when the government offers you new facilities instead of upgrading your un-upgradable, old Chernobyl-esque facilities.
However, also understand it is not just the actors, board members and other people who want a government financed hobby, but those that attend the theater and demand the price be subsidized for them that are to blame. I'll give kudos to those who donate thousands of dollars, they are not only willing to bear the full costs it would take to successfully operate the facilities, but subsidize those who won't. But for those that complain, but don't donate, but rather insist the taxpayer subsidize their evening out to a horrible musical, shame on you.
In the meantime, given cut backs and the recession I think those at the Black Hills Playhouse are going to (SHOCK AND HORROR) have to accept the NEW facilities instead of having the old crumbling ones refurnished. And imagine that, some people...like 6 million...have lost their jobs, but they complain about having to move. I think a better thing would be to contact Governor Rounds and demand these spoiled brats become grown ups and either sink or swim without any subsidies and face the cold hard realities of life us normal adults do every day.
I went to a play today at the Black Hills Playhouse, a theater located in the Black Hills.
Because of their decrepit and aging buildings (they were built during the CCC days) they are facing some repair troubles, to which the governor of South Dakota has recommended moving the playhouse elsewhere in Custer State Park.
Now if you read this article here, it seems that South Dakota governor, Mike Rounds is more than willing to have the Black Hills Playhouse continue on and stay in the Black Hills, preferably in facilities that are not falling apart (and TRUST ME they ARE falling apart, I just saw it 7 hours ago). To which you would think those at the Black Hills Playhouse would feel great about.
Wrong.
Before the play started, up come the manager of the playhouse to make a "cute" announcement about how long the Black Hills Playhouse had been around. A 20 something young lady, standing on her veritable soap box saying;
It had been around longer than the Guthrie in Minneapolis
Some place in Kansas City.
Outlasting the Steppenwolf (I don't care how it's spelled)
Outlasting 12 presidents
and...
15 governors.
The entire crowd laughed and clapped, which suggested to me something of a local politics was at hand (and that I was in about the only liberal crowd in South Dakota...though that was tipped off by the only Obama bumper stickers and effeminate men I saw there).
Regardless, sure enough she told us that Governor Rounds wanted to move the playhouse and that if we liked theater we should call him up and protest, and then triumphantly marched off stage to applause.
Originally, I thought perhaps Governor Rounds was planning on axing the Black Hills Playhouse, but upon doing my research and finding out he just wanted them moved from their tetanus-infested facilities, I got angry. Not because this was another group of leftists begging for more money for something nobody wants and therefore needs to be subsidized by the taxpayer, but just the outright lie I was delivered.
Ergo, let me tell you about the Black Hill's Playhouse.
1. The play was not that good. It was downright awful. Sure some funny parts, but nothing great. It was a musical. I don't blame the actors, I blame the writers. Robert DeNiro couldn't have made that one fly.
2. The arrogance of these people to be so damn pouty and DEMAND those decrepit facilities be upgraded when it's obvious they should be torn down and moved to a new location (if for anything for their own damn safety) angers me. They're on the government's dime (not to mention charity of many donators) and they act like they're choosers when they are beggars.
3. The larger point, understand that the "arts" and "theater" are inexorably intertwined with government financing because IT COULD NOT EXIST ON IT'S OWN. And the reason why is that NOBODY WANTS IT. If it was in demand like I-Pods or Harry Potter movies, they wouldn't need to go to the South Dakota taxpayer like a bum with a cup in their hand. People would willingly pay an adequate price to not only repair/buy new facilities, but generate a profit for its owners and benefactors. However (and now it's time once again boys and girls to break out a pencil and a piece of paper for the Captain is about to make a very important point) all this is, is a group of adult children who want to be paid for their hobby instead of getting a real job like the rest of us and making something the rest of society wants. You see, you morons, you schmucks who go in and work those jobs like programmers, or burger flippers or plumbers, you're idiots. You should get jobs you like, like being an actor, a singer, a writer, an ice cream taster, or a beer judge or a professional video game player. And if society won't pay for it, then DEMAND the government subsidize you. And not only subsidize you, complain when the government offers you new facilities instead of upgrading your un-upgradable, old Chernobyl-esque facilities.
However, also understand it is not just the actors, board members and other people who want a government financed hobby, but those that attend the theater and demand the price be subsidized for them that are to blame. I'll give kudos to those who donate thousands of dollars, they are not only willing to bear the full costs it would take to successfully operate the facilities, but subsidize those who won't. But for those that complain, but don't donate, but rather insist the taxpayer subsidize their evening out to a horrible musical, shame on you.
In the meantime, given cut backs and the recession I think those at the Black Hills Playhouse are going to (SHOCK AND HORROR) have to accept the NEW facilities instead of having the old crumbling ones refurnished. And imagine that, some people...like 6 million...have lost their jobs, but they complain about having to move. I think a better thing would be to contact Governor Rounds and demand these spoiled brats become grown ups and either sink or swim without any subsidies and face the cold hard realities of life us normal adults do every day.
"Spirit of Innovation Key to the Future"
God, you got to love this.
In his typical pretty-pony-saying-pretty-words-way Obama says "the spirit of innovation is key to the future."
Well, what precisely is the "key to innovation" then?
Oh, that's right, the massive profits that come with those innovations that he has since criminalized.
They just can't think two dominoes ahead of of what the consequences are of their actions.
Brilliant job, O.
In his typical pretty-pony-saying-pretty-words-way Obama says "the spirit of innovation is key to the future."
Well, what precisely is the "key to innovation" then?
Oh, that's right, the massive profits that come with those innovations that he has since criminalized.
They just can't think two dominoes ahead of of what the consequences are of their actions.
Brilliant job, O.
Friday, July 31, 2009
A Thorough Review of the Gates Incident
The major gives great ponderance and time to this issue, more or less resolving it once and for all.
Ah, the Smoke and Mirrors Begins
GDP contracted at only 1% annualized. And the reason for the slow down in the "slow down?"
"Less drastic spending cuts by businesses, a resumption of spending by federal and local governments and an improved trade picture were key forces behind the better performance. Consumers, though, pulled back. Rising unemployment, shrunken nest eggs and lower home values have weighed down their spending."
In other words, everything still sucks, except for the government spending money which makes the numbers look better than what things really are.
And given the worthless programs the government is spending money on, I'm going to guess if we took that out, GDP would have contracted by the 1.5, if not 2.5% economists were predicting.
"Less drastic spending cuts by businesses, a resumption of spending by federal and local governments and an improved trade picture were key forces behind the better performance. Consumers, though, pulled back. Rising unemployment, shrunken nest eggs and lower home values have weighed down their spending."
In other words, everything still sucks, except for the government spending money which makes the numbers look better than what things really are.
And given the worthless programs the government is spending money on, I'm going to guess if we took that out, GDP would have contracted by the 1.5, if not 2.5% economists were predicting.
The Captain is Victorious - Update
This is an update. You will see pictures below:
A very Professor Farnsworth "good news" all fellow junior, deputy, aspiring, official and otherwise economists!
Today I finished a 20 mile hike in the Elk Wilderness area of the Black Hills. Hiked from Sylvan Lake to Horsethief Lake, then back up a tortuously long hike, plagued with poison ivy and switch backs that would make Currie Hill look like a cake walk (and no, I'm not joking).
Total time was 7 hours and 38 minutes.
However, even this feat is dwarfed to a microscopic level as to what happened yesterday.
Your Captain found (to his best estimation mind you) a fully intact dinosaur fossil.
The jaw bone, replete with two teeth, was found protruding from a cliff side in one of my many long hikes. Based on the way the fossil is protruding, it suggests the neck and rest of the body is still in the side of the cliff, ready for complete excavation.
I know this seems "nerdy" to most normal people, but a find this good is quite rare. Soon you will see me in "Amateur Fossil Hunter Quarterly" being fawned over by fossil hunting babe groupies (totally true, they totally exist!)
In any case, I am currently trying to find out what government agency I report this to, but will keep all of those interested updated.
A very Professor Farnsworth "good news" all fellow junior, deputy, aspiring, official and otherwise economists!
Today I finished a 20 mile hike in the Elk Wilderness area of the Black Hills. Hiked from Sylvan Lake to Horsethief Lake, then back up a tortuously long hike, plagued with poison ivy and switch backs that would make Currie Hill look like a cake walk (and no, I'm not joking).
Total time was 7 hours and 38 minutes.
However, even this feat is dwarfed to a microscopic level as to what happened yesterday.
Your Captain found (to his best estimation mind you) a fully intact dinosaur fossil.
The jaw bone, replete with two teeth, was found protruding from a cliff side in one of my many long hikes. Based on the way the fossil is protruding, it suggests the neck and rest of the body is still in the side of the cliff, ready for complete excavation.
I know this seems "nerdy" to most normal people, but a find this good is quite rare. Soon you will see me in "Amateur Fossil Hunter Quarterly" being fawned over by fossil hunting babe groupies (totally true, they totally exist!)
In any case, I am currently trying to find out what government agency I report this to, but will keep all of those interested updated.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Recession Medicine
Hey, you unemployed?
Hey, you tired looking for jobs that aren't there, and even if they were, they were going to be given to the boss's nephew anyway and all you'd do is waste days, if not weeks pointlessly applying for them and futilely interviewing for them with some 23 year old HR ditz who had no intention of hiring your over-qualified patoot anyway?
Hey, you completely burnt out about worrying about things outside your control?
Well then just watch some cartoons!
Seriously, best thing you can do in this recession is realize you don't control this situation and just relax and let go of the guilt. No corporation will hire you unless you know somebody and besides which, they're laying people off. So don't sweat it, watch cartoons.
Hey, you tired looking for jobs that aren't there, and even if they were, they were going to be given to the boss's nephew anyway and all you'd do is waste days, if not weeks pointlessly applying for them and futilely interviewing for them with some 23 year old HR ditz who had no intention of hiring your over-qualified patoot anyway?
Hey, you completely burnt out about worrying about things outside your control?
Well then just watch some cartoons!
Seriously, best thing you can do in this recession is realize you don't control this situation and just relax and let go of the guilt. No corporation will hire you unless you know somebody and besides which, they're laying people off. So don't sweat it, watch cartoons.
Organic = Pointless
HA!
Of course those of us with the slightest bit of sense knew this, but I just like to see another scam get exposed.
Of course (and get your paper and pencils out, because the Captain is about to make a very important point) IT'S NEVER BEEN ABOUT HEALTH AS MUCH AS IT'S BEEN ABOUT MAKING THOSE WHO BUY "ORGANIC" FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEIR PIOUS SELVES.
Ergo, even though this is a scam, a farce, a ruse, the sheople will continue to pay a 50% mark-up for...
nothing.
Of course those of us with the slightest bit of sense knew this, but I just like to see another scam get exposed.
Of course (and get your paper and pencils out, because the Captain is about to make a very important point) IT'S NEVER BEEN ABOUT HEALTH AS MUCH AS IT'S BEEN ABOUT MAKING THOSE WHO BUY "ORGANIC" FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEIR PIOUS SELVES.
Ergo, even though this is a scam, a farce, a ruse, the sheople will continue to pay a 50% mark-up for...
nothing.
Obama Soccer Moms
I drive a lot and the reason I drive a lot is that I teach a lot of dance classes. I know pretty much every gas station in between Cambridge, Minnesota to the far north and Mankato, Minnesota to the far south. But what I've seen more and more of is the Obama Soccer mom.
Let me explain.
At least once a week I see a 30 something mom. She has her children in the car with her. They are toddlers and thus have car seats as well as their mom hovering over them, trying to maintain order and avoid chaos as she tries to pump gas into her Subaru Forrester or some kind of SUV.
On the car though is invariably an Obama/Biden sticker.
Now I've made this chart before, but I think it behooves reshowing because it proves something Joe Soucheray always says;
Leftists/liberals can't link.
What this basically means is that when a leftist makes a decision, they cannot follow the chain of events that decision will trigger. They cannot see what the ramifications and consequences are of their actions. And what the chart above shows is how much new federal government debt has been saddled on each individual American.
And this is the point I am trying to make. These Obama Soccer Moms have NO CLUE what they've just done to their children. Not a clue. Be it ignorance about government finances, be it they're just suppose to stay at home and bring up the kids, but leave the finances to daddy, or they're too busy dreaming about the Magic Obama Unicorn Obama's promised to give them with the Obama Unicorn program, this particular Obama Soccer Mom has no clue she's just indebted her 3 children to the tune of $60,000.
Now I know, I know, she didn't "mean" to enslave her children to the government's debt, just like teenage mothers didn't mean to bring an innocent child into a life of abject poverty, but for once could I admit a bit of economic shadenfreude and say it's good to see people having to pay the price for having "good intentions" with no desire to have the intellectual rigor to see if those intentions are achievable, let alone adult?
Let me explain.
At least once a week I see a 30 something mom. She has her children in the car with her. They are toddlers and thus have car seats as well as their mom hovering over them, trying to maintain order and avoid chaos as she tries to pump gas into her Subaru Forrester or some kind of SUV.
On the car though is invariably an Obama/Biden sticker.
Now I've made this chart before, but I think it behooves reshowing because it proves something Joe Soucheray always says;
Leftists/liberals can't link.
What this basically means is that when a leftist makes a decision, they cannot follow the chain of events that decision will trigger. They cannot see what the ramifications and consequences are of their actions. And what the chart above shows is how much new federal government debt has been saddled on each individual American.
And this is the point I am trying to make. These Obama Soccer Moms have NO CLUE what they've just done to their children. Not a clue. Be it ignorance about government finances, be it they're just suppose to stay at home and bring up the kids, but leave the finances to daddy, or they're too busy dreaming about the Magic Obama Unicorn Obama's promised to give them with the Obama Unicorn program, this particular Obama Soccer Mom has no clue she's just indebted her 3 children to the tune of $60,000.
Now I know, I know, she didn't "mean" to enslave her children to the government's debt, just like teenage mothers didn't mean to bring an innocent child into a life of abject poverty, but for once could I admit a bit of economic shadenfreude and say it's good to see people having to pay the price for having "good intentions" with no desire to have the intellectual rigor to see if those intentions are achievable, let alone adult?
Best Explanation of the Rationalization Hamster
For the younger men out there who are drifting aimlessly with no compass, here is a piece of wisdom I wish I had when I was younger.
Now go workout, buy a motorcycle and learn the art of indifference.
Now go workout, buy a motorcycle and learn the art of indifference.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Ah, Men Don't Want to Lose Half Their Net Worth
Sorry, friend sent this to me and I find it hilarious not one man was consulted on this.
No, seriously ladies, keep reading what other ladies write about men without even asking a single guy what he thinks. It's very cute watching the blind leading the blind.
No, seriously ladies, keep reading what other ladies write about men without even asking a single guy what he thinks. It's very cute watching the blind leading the blind.
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