Enjoy!
On a related note "girls will be girls" especially when it comes to guns.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Boys Will Boys
Your Captain has been spending some time researching the NIPA accounts which, among other things, breaks down GDP and spending based on product and service type. When you convert them to a percent of total spending or GDP, you get an interesting insight as to what society values. Today's NIPA account shows you what percent of personal income men/boys have spent on men/boys like things. Namely video games, guns and ammo, and "clothing."
Enjoy!
On a related note "girls will be girls" especially when it comes to guns.
Enjoy!
On a related note "girls will be girls" especially when it comes to guns.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Pawn's Gambit
Time gets away from you.
You are busy supporting yourself, and if you have an entrepreneurial streak, time really gets away from you as you pursue pointless endeavor after pointless endeavor wondering if these pursuits might actually pay off in a genuinely free market like China.
However, when Marty send me his press release for "The Educator" I had this horrible sinking guilt feeling.
"Oh my God. I forgot JR Hume's book."
JR sent me his book quite a while ago. You know I don't like to read, but Natasha does and she said she couldn't put it down. But as much as she liked it, her enjoyment of it paled in comparison to me forgetting to post about it. And this was like over a year ago.
Therefore fellow Junior, Deputy, Aspiring, Official or Otherwise, Economists,
if you like sci-fi/fantasy sort of fiction I STRONGLY recommend you buy Mr. Hume's book, Pawn's Gambit.
Matter of fact, I have so much guilt, I would recommend you buy his book before mine.
Seriously, if you're the sci fi type, do me a favor and assuage me of my guilt and buy AND READ his book.
It's important to read it too!
Matter of fact I have story. I was at my uncle's funeral. His sister, my aunt, Aunt Judy, comes up to me and the group of people were were conversing with. She may have had a couple, and continues on about her nephew who wrote a book and how she was so proud. She bragged about how she bought the book and so I naturally asked her,
"Yes, you bought it. But did you read it?"
She turned bright red and looked into her wine glass.
I put my arm around her and said, "I love you, Aunt Judy."
So, in any case, I'm glad we're all going to go buy Pawn's Gambit.
You will solve me of my sins and make Mr. Hume a happy man.
You are busy supporting yourself, and if you have an entrepreneurial streak, time really gets away from you as you pursue pointless endeavor after pointless endeavor wondering if these pursuits might actually pay off in a genuinely free market like China.
However, when Marty send me his press release for "The Educator" I had this horrible sinking guilt feeling.
"Oh my God. I forgot JR Hume's book."
JR sent me his book quite a while ago. You know I don't like to read, but Natasha does and she said she couldn't put it down. But as much as she liked it, her enjoyment of it paled in comparison to me forgetting to post about it. And this was like over a year ago.
Therefore fellow Junior, Deputy, Aspiring, Official or Otherwise, Economists,
if you like sci-fi/fantasy sort of fiction I STRONGLY recommend you buy Mr. Hume's book, Pawn's Gambit.
Matter of fact, I have so much guilt, I would recommend you buy his book before mine.
Seriously, if you're the sci fi type, do me a favor and assuage me of my guilt and buy AND READ his book.
It's important to read it too!
Matter of fact I have story. I was at my uncle's funeral. His sister, my aunt, Aunt Judy, comes up to me and the group of people were were conversing with. She may have had a couple, and continues on about her nephew who wrote a book and how she was so proud. She bragged about how she bought the book and so I naturally asked her,
"Yes, you bought it. But did you read it?"
She turned bright red and looked into her wine glass.
I put my arm around her and said, "I love you, Aunt Judy."
So, in any case, I'm glad we're all going to go buy Pawn's Gambit.
You will solve me of my sins and make Mr. Hume a happy man.
Credit Unions Think Their BLEEP Don't Stink
I love this.
Credit unions and small community banks claiming they did nothing to help bring about the housing crisis.
Again, you have probably already read my book, but let me explain to you about credit unions and small time banks during the late 2000's.
They were wanna be's. They came to the party too late, bought in at the worst possible time, and whatever filfth and crap that was turned down by real banks, fell on the floor for these bottom feeders.
The WORST loans I ever saw made were by credit unions and community banks.
And if Frank-Dodd wipes them out, so be it, too bad, boo-freaking-hoo. It would be a good first step to passing the stool out of the banking system once and for all that caused this mess.
Credit unions and small community banks claiming they did nothing to help bring about the housing crisis.
Again, you have probably already read my book, but let me explain to you about credit unions and small time banks during the late 2000's.
They were wanna be's. They came to the party too late, bought in at the worst possible time, and whatever filfth and crap that was turned down by real banks, fell on the floor for these bottom feeders.
The WORST loans I ever saw made were by credit unions and community banks.
And if Frank-Dodd wipes them out, so be it, too bad, boo-freaking-hoo. It would be a good first step to passing the stool out of the banking system once and for all that caused this mess.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I Shall Explain Paul Krugman
A recent poster asked how Paul Krugman, if he had all this education in economics, can still come to the conclusions that he does.
And the answer is very simple if you have super-awesome economic genius like I do:
"Because Paul Krugman, deep down inside, doesn't believe one damn word he says, but knows there's a market to be made telling liberal, trust-fund baby New Yorker brats what they want to hear."
It's an amazing skill matter of fact. To be able to ignore empirical data and spew what ultimately results in lies. But the great thing, if not the GENIUS of Paul Krugman, is that he KNOWS his readership doesn't care about:
Intellectual honesty
The advancement of society
Reality
or
Truth
He knows his audience.
He knows his customers.
And he knows they're a bunch of east coast snobby elitists that want some "unbiased economist professional" to confirm their ideology and their faux intellectual status.
He is actually a much smarter and more patient man than I will ever be, because he can suck it up and tell a bunch of prissy spoiled brat elitists what they want to hear. He can lie, knowingly, through his teeth so he can collect a paycheck from the equally amoral NYT.
You think I'm joking?
Look up Ed Schulz. He was a conservative until the paychecks didn't come through. Now he's the PREMIER liberal talk show host. He sucks, but his listening audience doesn't notice because he tells them what they want to hear.
Matter of fact, you pay me enough, and I'll turn liberal on you guys too.
Of course, you would all know it would be a sham.
But would my "new-found audience know?"
would they even CARE I was a "raving right wing lunatic" in the past?
No.
Never underestimate the cowardly intellectual weakness of the average American schlep. Hitler himself could come back from the grave and host a talk radio show called "The Super-Pro-Liberal-New-York-Jew-Awesome-Israeli-Zionist-Hour-With-Bagels" and his show would be a hit.
So don't raise your ire (let alone your blood pressure) over Paul Krugman. He is a soothe sayer. Matter of fact you should cheer him on and appreciate that he's milking these idiots for as much as he can.
But in the end reality will prove him wrong. He will of course be sitting on his millions telling all of his loyal readers one simple thing when none of his predictions come true;
"Oops."
And that's when the real joke will be had.
in the meantime,
Enjoy that decline, kids!
And the answer is very simple if you have super-awesome economic genius like I do:
"Because Paul Krugman, deep down inside, doesn't believe one damn word he says, but knows there's a market to be made telling liberal, trust-fund baby New Yorker brats what they want to hear."
It's an amazing skill matter of fact. To be able to ignore empirical data and spew what ultimately results in lies. But the great thing, if not the GENIUS of Paul Krugman, is that he KNOWS his readership doesn't care about:
Intellectual honesty
The advancement of society
Reality
or
Truth
He knows his audience.
He knows his customers.
And he knows they're a bunch of east coast snobby elitists that want some "unbiased economist professional" to confirm their ideology and their faux intellectual status.
He is actually a much smarter and more patient man than I will ever be, because he can suck it up and tell a bunch of prissy spoiled brat elitists what they want to hear. He can lie, knowingly, through his teeth so he can collect a paycheck from the equally amoral NYT.
You think I'm joking?
Look up Ed Schulz. He was a conservative until the paychecks didn't come through. Now he's the PREMIER liberal talk show host. He sucks, but his listening audience doesn't notice because he tells them what they want to hear.
Matter of fact, you pay me enough, and I'll turn liberal on you guys too.
Of course, you would all know it would be a sham.
But would my "new-found audience know?"
would they even CARE I was a "raving right wing lunatic" in the past?
No.
Never underestimate the cowardly intellectual weakness of the average American schlep. Hitler himself could come back from the grave and host a talk radio show called "The Super-Pro-Liberal-New-York-Jew-Awesome-Israeli-Zionist-Hour-With-Bagels" and his show would be a hit.
So don't raise your ire (let alone your blood pressure) over Paul Krugman. He is a soothe sayer. Matter of fact you should cheer him on and appreciate that he's milking these idiots for as much as he can.
But in the end reality will prove him wrong. He will of course be sitting on his millions telling all of his loyal readers one simple thing when none of his predictions come true;
"Oops."
And that's when the real joke will be had.
in the meantime,
Enjoy that decline, kids!
"Crimson" Being the Key Word
Mankiw is an economist at Harvard.
Why he's there, I don't know.
But 10% of his class (the ones who are probably going to get C's and D's) walked out to protest the conservative nature of economics. (though I pine how many classes would even exist if students walked out because of liberal bias).
Now, understand something about economics.
It's largely math based.
So if you add 2 and 2 and get 5, you are WRONG. mathematically, factually WRONG (but then, hey, at least you're on the B honor roll at Harvard).
Additionally, it is largely logic-based as well.
Evil things such as "if nobody works, we'll all starve" or "you can't afford that because you didn't work hard enough to earn the money to pay for it" unfortunately do come into play and are presented as facts.
Naturally idiots have a hard time with math and facts which is why I will guaran-freaking-tee you that all of the 70 students that left are not in a STEM field and will further go onto produce either nothing in their lives, or worse, run for public office or join some crusder non-profit outfit to tell others how to live their lives.
In the meantime they'll be a bunch of cry babies that don't like reality.
Any takers to see if they part of the 1%? I mean, privileged, spoiled brat Harvard students? Any takers? bueller? Bueller?
Why he's there, I don't know.
But 10% of his class (the ones who are probably going to get C's and D's) walked out to protest the conservative nature of economics. (though I pine how many classes would even exist if students walked out because of liberal bias).
Now, understand something about economics.
It's largely math based.
So if you add 2 and 2 and get 5, you are WRONG. mathematically, factually WRONG (but then, hey, at least you're on the B honor roll at Harvard).
Additionally, it is largely logic-based as well.
Evil things such as "if nobody works, we'll all starve" or "you can't afford that because you didn't work hard enough to earn the money to pay for it" unfortunately do come into play and are presented as facts.
Naturally idiots have a hard time with math and facts which is why I will guaran-freaking-tee you that all of the 70 students that left are not in a STEM field and will further go onto produce either nothing in their lives, or worse, run for public office or join some crusder non-profit outfit to tell others how to live their lives.
In the meantime they'll be a bunch of cry babies that don't like reality.
Any takers to see if they part of the 1%? I mean, privileged, spoiled brat Harvard students? Any takers? bueller? Bueller?
Stupid, Dumb, Lazy Boys
Stupid boys.
Can't find a job in this economy.
All because they refuse to man up and grow up.
Nope, has nothing to do with disproportionately-voted-in-by-women environmental laws and regulations that destroyed industrial jobs and other male-dominated fields.
Nope. Nothing to do with that.
And it certainly has nothing to do with disproportionately-voted-in-by-women socialist tax structures that destroy competition and profit.
No, absolutely not.
And it would have absolutely NOTHING to do with disproportionately-voted-in-by-women increases in government largess (disproportionately benefiting female employment) at the expense of the private sector (disproportionately hurting male employment) as we outsourced traditional male roles to the public sector.
No, certainly not.
Nope, you're all just a bunch of loser, whiny, dirty disgusting, lazy boys who aren't trying hard enough.
Why don't you all get cushy government jobs like us women? Or non-profit jobs? You know what you need? You need affirmative action, just like us! Or a government grant to pay you to write or find yourself. Then you could be independent and fulfilled like us!
Of course, you'll even probably goof that up because you're stupid boys.
And another thing? Why can't I find a good man?
And why won't he commit?
And why are there such losers out there without jobs who can't support me and make me a good husband.
I want children. My biological clock is ticking. And I want a house in the suburbs and 3 months vacation and want to work part time from home to rear my children and a man to subsidize it all.
Where are the real men!?
I have a triple masters in public management, social work and English. I'm educated! Why can't I find any?
/ sarcasm
For the Patron Saint's Name of Frick. You just can't make this stuff up.
Can't find a job in this economy.
All because they refuse to man up and grow up.
Nope, has nothing to do with disproportionately-voted-in-by-women environmental laws and regulations that destroyed industrial jobs and other male-dominated fields.
Nope. Nothing to do with that.
And it certainly has nothing to do with disproportionately-voted-in-by-women socialist tax structures that destroy competition and profit.
No, absolutely not.
And it would have absolutely NOTHING to do with disproportionately-voted-in-by-women increases in government largess (disproportionately benefiting female employment) at the expense of the private sector (disproportionately hurting male employment) as we outsourced traditional male roles to the public sector.
No, certainly not.
Nope, you're all just a bunch of loser, whiny, dirty disgusting, lazy boys who aren't trying hard enough.
Why don't you all get cushy government jobs like us women? Or non-profit jobs? You know what you need? You need affirmative action, just like us! Or a government grant to pay you to write or find yourself. Then you could be independent and fulfilled like us!
Of course, you'll even probably goof that up because you're stupid boys.
And another thing? Why can't I find a good man?
And why won't he commit?
And why are there such losers out there without jobs who can't support me and make me a good husband.
I want children. My biological clock is ticking. And I want a house in the suburbs and 3 months vacation and want to work part time from home to rear my children and a man to subsidize it all.
Where are the real men!?
I have a triple masters in public management, social work and English. I'm educated! Why can't I find any?
/ sarcasm
For the Patron Saint's Name of Frick. You just can't make this stuff up.
Monday, November 14, 2011
RSS Feed Enabled
I have enabled RSS feeding down below and to the left.
Enough of you have harassed me about this that I finally got around to it.
Enough of you have harassed me about this that I finally got around to it.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Just Make It 27%
I like simplicity.
The reason I like simplicity is because it's really hard to scam somebody or lie when things are kept simple. It is complexity wherein politicians and criminals work their ways to get your money out of your hands legally.
The most obvious example of this is our complex tax system. 16,000 pages plus for the tax code and now that I'm working on bankruptcies and asset recovery I am reminded as to just how complex politicians have made taxes ON PURPOSE. They also make it so you don' t know you're being bled. Much like leeches will soothe your skin with an anesthetic before they start to suck out your blood, politicians have made it so you don't even realize how much you're paying in taxes with the PAYGO system.
But the single worst aspect of this complex tax system is not the loopholes that benefit a few connected people, nor is it the fact we have to waste the equivalent of 2 weeks per year complying with this horrendously complex tax code, nor is it the loss of production that labor could have been spent doing otherwise.
No, the single LARGEST COST to the complex tax system is simply the lack of....
pricing.
"Pricing?" you say.
"Yes, pricing," I answer.
Understand that government has a price. It has a cost. And that cost is the price we pay in taxes.
The problem is that since we have so many taxes and so many fees at so many different levels, that nobody really knows what the final price tag of the government is. This is HORRIBLE in that without knowing the price of something, you can't tell for sure whether it's worth what you're getting in return.
A Big Mac is very simple. I know it costs about $4. And therefore, before I spend my $4 I can COMPARE the PRICE against the EXPECTED BENEFIT. MW3 is very simple. I know it costs $60 and can COMPARE THE PRICE AGAINST THE EXPECTED BENEFIT.
But with government you can't do that. Because nobody, bar some really anal-retentive accountants, can tell you what price you are personally paying for government.
Now, super-awesome economists such as myself kindly and regularly calculate "government spending as a percent of GDP." This is to show the people "hey, this is what we're paying for the government we got."
THere's just one small problem.
98% of the American adult population doesn't know what "GDP" stands for, let alone the merit of dividing government spending by it. They wouldn't be able to understand what that number signifies. Besides, it's getting in the way of their love affair with Kim Kardashian's wedivorce.
But it is here that the true argument for a flat sales tax lays.
A flat sales tax does four things.
1. It consolidates ALL the various government taxes into ONE SINGLE TAX. More specifically, ONE SINGLE NUMBER everybody can understand, and in doing so puts a VERY SPECIFIC PRICE ON GOVERNMENT. Because all government revenue would be derived from ONE single tax, any cries or demands from the people to "pay for the chilllllllldreeeeeen" or "bailing out Banksters" or "free food" or "social security" or "wars here and there" would immediately and quite accurately drive up that ONE SINGLE NUMBER, so you could see how much "paying for free college education" would cost.
"The starting tax rate is 20%. Oh, you want free health care? The new tax rate is 24.7% Oh, you also want to subsidize loser solar companies? The new new tax rate is now 25.1%. Oh, you want to bail out the banking industry? The new new NEW tax rate is 32%"
People would know PRECISELY how much government would cost and would therefore allow them to determine whether they were getting their bang for their buck.
2. It forces people to have skin in the game so they cannot rob Peter to pay themselves. If they want free food for their 4 illegitimate children, then they get to pay an extra 1% in sales tax on everything they buy. They want to have free education? They get to share some of that burden. And in doing so...
3. It unifies the people. Instead of pitting them against one another, the poor vs. the rich, the old vs. the young, the children vs the childrenless, doesn't matter. You're all in the same boat, you all pay the same price. You can no longer vote to tax one group of people or grant others a "credit" or a "loophole." Get in that damn sandbox and start playing nice with one another.
4. Makes people put down that damn People Magazine and quit worrying about Kim Kardashian and pay the ef attention to some economics.
There are of course other HUGE economic benefits to having a tax code that would be whittled down from 16,000 pages to a SOLE, SINGLE SIMPLE number, but the above is I think the most overlooked, perhaps never-considered benefit of a flat sales tax.
Now, out of the Republican contenders for the nomination, are there any advocating this?
No, even my man, Herman Cain, still has to complicate it unnecessarily by deriving taxes by three different sources. But it is a start.
I fear, however, even the average American voter isn't bright enough to multiply 9 by 3, and will thusly still be just as confused as with a 16,000 page tax code.
So why not just make it an even 27% and stop confusing the average American?
The reason I like simplicity is because it's really hard to scam somebody or lie when things are kept simple. It is complexity wherein politicians and criminals work their ways to get your money out of your hands legally.
The most obvious example of this is our complex tax system. 16,000 pages plus for the tax code and now that I'm working on bankruptcies and asset recovery I am reminded as to just how complex politicians have made taxes ON PURPOSE. They also make it so you don' t know you're being bled. Much like leeches will soothe your skin with an anesthetic before they start to suck out your blood, politicians have made it so you don't even realize how much you're paying in taxes with the PAYGO system.
But the single worst aspect of this complex tax system is not the loopholes that benefit a few connected people, nor is it the fact we have to waste the equivalent of 2 weeks per year complying with this horrendously complex tax code, nor is it the loss of production that labor could have been spent doing otherwise.
No, the single LARGEST COST to the complex tax system is simply the lack of....
pricing.
"Pricing?" you say.
"Yes, pricing," I answer.
Understand that government has a price. It has a cost. And that cost is the price we pay in taxes.
The problem is that since we have so many taxes and so many fees at so many different levels, that nobody really knows what the final price tag of the government is. This is HORRIBLE in that without knowing the price of something, you can't tell for sure whether it's worth what you're getting in return.
A Big Mac is very simple. I know it costs about $4. And therefore, before I spend my $4 I can COMPARE the PRICE against the EXPECTED BENEFIT. MW3 is very simple. I know it costs $60 and can COMPARE THE PRICE AGAINST THE EXPECTED BENEFIT.
But with government you can't do that. Because nobody, bar some really anal-retentive accountants, can tell you what price you are personally paying for government.
Now, super-awesome economists such as myself kindly and regularly calculate "government spending as a percent of GDP." This is to show the people "hey, this is what we're paying for the government we got."
THere's just one small problem.
98% of the American adult population doesn't know what "GDP" stands for, let alone the merit of dividing government spending by it. They wouldn't be able to understand what that number signifies. Besides, it's getting in the way of their love affair with Kim Kardashian's wedivorce.
But it is here that the true argument for a flat sales tax lays.
A flat sales tax does four things.
1. It consolidates ALL the various government taxes into ONE SINGLE TAX. More specifically, ONE SINGLE NUMBER everybody can understand, and in doing so puts a VERY SPECIFIC PRICE ON GOVERNMENT. Because all government revenue would be derived from ONE single tax, any cries or demands from the people to "pay for the chilllllllldreeeeeen" or "bailing out Banksters" or "free food" or "social security" or "wars here and there" would immediately and quite accurately drive up that ONE SINGLE NUMBER, so you could see how much "paying for free college education" would cost.
"The starting tax rate is 20%. Oh, you want free health care? The new tax rate is 24.7% Oh, you also want to subsidize loser solar companies? The new new tax rate is now 25.1%. Oh, you want to bail out the banking industry? The new new NEW tax rate is 32%"
People would know PRECISELY how much government would cost and would therefore allow them to determine whether they were getting their bang for their buck.
2. It forces people to have skin in the game so they cannot rob Peter to pay themselves. If they want free food for their 4 illegitimate children, then they get to pay an extra 1% in sales tax on everything they buy. They want to have free education? They get to share some of that burden. And in doing so...
3. It unifies the people. Instead of pitting them against one another, the poor vs. the rich, the old vs. the young, the children vs the childrenless, doesn't matter. You're all in the same boat, you all pay the same price. You can no longer vote to tax one group of people or grant others a "credit" or a "loophole." Get in that damn sandbox and start playing nice with one another.
4. Makes people put down that damn People Magazine and quit worrying about Kim Kardashian and pay the ef attention to some economics.
There are of course other HUGE economic benefits to having a tax code that would be whittled down from 16,000 pages to a SOLE, SINGLE SIMPLE number, but the above is I think the most overlooked, perhaps never-considered benefit of a flat sales tax.
Now, out of the Republican contenders for the nomination, are there any advocating this?
No, even my man, Herman Cain, still has to complicate it unnecessarily by deriving taxes by three different sources. But it is a start.
I fear, however, even the average American voter isn't bright enough to multiply 9 by 3, and will thusly still be just as confused as with a 16,000 page tax code.
So why not just make it an even 27% and stop confusing the average American?
The Family Dog
Was trying to find a cartoon called "The Family Dog" which was a HILARIOUS episode in the 1980's series "Amazing Stories." Had my mother and a young little girl I know in mind and thought it would make a great Christmas gift.
Unfortunately I could not find it, but found it in a slightly low-quality version on You Tube. Watched it again for the first time in about 20 years and it is just all that more funny as an adult:
The additional parts will be forth coming.
Unfortunately I could not find it, but found it in a slightly low-quality version on You Tube. Watched it again for the first time in about 20 years and it is just all that more funny as an adult:
The additional parts will be forth coming.
Christmas Gift of "Super-Awesome Economic Wisdom!"
A friendly reminder to all the Junior, Deputy, Aspiring, Official or otherwise economists out there:
With the holiday seasons coming up, remember, nothing makes a better gift than all the various sorts of books and classes the Captain offers!
Have an 8 year old girl who can't WAIT to read about the intricacies of the housing bubble? Then get her "Behind the Housing Crash!" (only 99 cents on Kindle!)
Have a 4 year old boy that wants a red fire truck this Christmas? Get him something BETTER, the kindle version of "Privatizing Governments!"
And I'm sure your wife would LOVE nothing more than a Caribbean Cruise! But should would love you EVEN MORE if you signed her up for a basic investment class OR (even better) a class on stock valuation and analysis.
Remember, the gifts you give them tell your loved ones just how much you love them! And nothing says "I love you better" than super-awesome economic knowledge!
With the holiday seasons coming up, remember, nothing makes a better gift than all the various sorts of books and classes the Captain offers!
Have an 8 year old girl who can't WAIT to read about the intricacies of the housing bubble? Then get her "Behind the Housing Crash!" (only 99 cents on Kindle!)
Have a 4 year old boy that wants a red fire truck this Christmas? Get him something BETTER, the kindle version of "Privatizing Governments!"
And I'm sure your wife would LOVE nothing more than a Caribbean Cruise! But should would love you EVEN MORE if you signed her up for a basic investment class OR (even better) a class on stock valuation and analysis.
Remember, the gifts you give them tell your loved ones just how much you love them! And nothing says "I love you better" than super-awesome economic knowledge!
Friday, November 11, 2011
I Put the "Jew" In "Jujutsu"
As I may or may not have mentioned, your Captain has been participating in Jujitsu. However, since your Captain (unbeknownst to him until he was 21) is "technically" a Jew, I prefer to call it:
"Jewjitsu."
*the technicality is that his mother's mother's mother was a Jew and something about Matriarchical lineage that your Captain today has yet to fully understand. Regardless, I just run with the free reign to cut Jewish jokes.
Regardless, I STRONGLY recommend jujitsu if you have the time. Not just because it is (thus far as I can find) the only martial art that trains you for real fighting, but the work out and damage it does to your body cannot be matched.
To tender proof (and I am not doing this to "brag" or what have you, I'm doing this sincerely because it will show you what you can expect) here's your Captain after a night of sparing against a variety of jujitsu students:
I did not contract some kind of "disease" or "measles." Those are just the bruises I incurred from 30 minutes of sparing. Apparently those will go away when all of that turns from fat to muscle.
In any case, consider "Jew"jitsu if you are looking for a serious work out.
Also consider fish shower curtains because those are pretty kick ass too.
"Jewjitsu."
*the technicality is that his mother's mother's mother was a Jew and something about Matriarchical lineage that your Captain today has yet to fully understand. Regardless, I just run with the free reign to cut Jewish jokes.
Regardless, I STRONGLY recommend jujitsu if you have the time. Not just because it is (thus far as I can find) the only martial art that trains you for real fighting, but the work out and damage it does to your body cannot be matched.
To tender proof (and I am not doing this to "brag" or what have you, I'm doing this sincerely because it will show you what you can expect) here's your Captain after a night of sparing against a variety of jujitsu students:
I did not contract some kind of "disease" or "measles." Those are just the bruises I incurred from 30 minutes of sparing. Apparently those will go away when all of that turns from fat to muscle.
In any case, consider "Jew"jitsu if you are looking for a serious work out.
Also consider fish shower curtains because those are pretty kick ass too.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
"Raise Other Mens' Children" Not in My Job Description
When I applied for the job "Bachelor" the job description was, if I recall correctly, something along the lines of:
"WANTED : BACHELOR
Must be able to support yourself and only be willing to support yourself. Must spend all of your discretionary income on you and things you like. This includes, but is not limited to:
Video games
Booze
Cigars
Motorcycles
Trips
Vacations
Sushi and other delicious food
Must have the ability to be free and enjoy freedom. Do what you want, when you want, how you want.
Candidate must also enjoy hanging out with friends, chasing tail, dating many girls, drinking beer, watching movies.
Significant free time and leisure time is expected on the job. You will have minimal responsibilities. After working up enough money to support yourself and paying taxes to support others, you MUST then spend the remaining money on yourself and what you like.
Workout, stay in shape, and develop hobbies and interests that are eclectic and mentally rewarding and stimulating.
Avoid sickness by avoiding coming into contact with children.
Vasectomy optional, but preferred.
All qualified candidates can come down to Joe's Bar for drinking-pre-qualification testing."
Nowhere did it say, "must raise other people's children."
I truly wonder if all the "baby mama's" in the world (or at least the US) actually think that single men, who kept their act together and built a lives for themselves actually owe it to them to bring up other mens' children. As if paying taxes for their mistakes via WIC or EBT or subsidized housing or day care isn't enough. No, they want us to commit ourselves personally. Because (GASP! NO! YOU MEAN???)
A GOVERNMENT CHECK ISN'T FULFILLING ENOUGH!? You mean government checks DON'T HUG YOU BACK!?
Sorry sweetheart, not in my job description.
Enjoy the decline.
"WANTED : BACHELOR
Must be able to support yourself and only be willing to support yourself. Must spend all of your discretionary income on you and things you like. This includes, but is not limited to:
Video games
Booze
Cigars
Motorcycles
Trips
Vacations
Sushi and other delicious food
Must have the ability to be free and enjoy freedom. Do what you want, when you want, how you want.
Candidate must also enjoy hanging out with friends, chasing tail, dating many girls, drinking beer, watching movies.
Significant free time and leisure time is expected on the job. You will have minimal responsibilities. After working up enough money to support yourself and paying taxes to support others, you MUST then spend the remaining money on yourself and what you like.
Workout, stay in shape, and develop hobbies and interests that are eclectic and mentally rewarding and stimulating.
Avoid sickness by avoiding coming into contact with children.
Vasectomy optional, but preferred.
All qualified candidates can come down to Joe's Bar for drinking-pre-qualification testing."
Nowhere did it say, "must raise other people's children."
I truly wonder if all the "baby mama's" in the world (or at least the US) actually think that single men, who kept their act together and built a lives for themselves actually owe it to them to bring up other mens' children. As if paying taxes for their mistakes via WIC or EBT or subsidized housing or day care isn't enough. No, they want us to commit ourselves personally. Because (GASP! NO! YOU MEAN???)
A GOVERNMENT CHECK ISN'T FULFILLING ENOUGH!? You mean government checks DON'T HUG YOU BACK!?
Sorry sweetheart, not in my job description.
Enjoy the decline.
This Can't Be Good
Normally I would think institutions such as the military, police, Dept of Homeland Security would more or less jive with me in that these tend to be more upstanding, less-corrupted institutions. ie-I could hang out with soldiers, cops and special agents and be just fine.
But with the DHS under Obama and government workers being unionized and all, I get a little leery when I see the DHS scanning my site for 4 hours.
I'll let you know if I end up on an abandoned oil rig out in the ocean somewhere...or...well, maybe not.
But with the DHS under Obama and government workers being unionized and all, I get a little leery when I see the DHS scanning my site for 4 hours.
I'll let you know if I end up on an abandoned oil rig out in the ocean somewhere...or...well, maybe not.
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
The Captain Protects the Saudi Royal Family Part 2
I was stationed at the “back door” to the Kahler Hotel where the prince was to enter the building. The hallway his highness would have to pass through was littered with additional guards. His plane landed around 3AM, the hoopla lasted till 345AM, and the transport only took 15 minutes. I was thinking his eminence would be arriving soon in that he would like to get to his hotel sooner than later.
0415
0430
0500
Plenty of supplies and clothes and Saudi’s were coming through, but no prince.
Finally around 0630 I hear on the radio the prince is finally coming through. Never seeing the prince at the airport I was kind of curious to see what the first real person of “royalty” would look like. I was picturing that standard Saudi garb, white head-scarf, robe, one of them fancy head-bandanas they use.
The guy was in a wheelchair, bloated, barely conscious and looked like a bum off the street. Unshaven and obviously in need of medical attention. It was not regal.
His staff pushed him down the hallway, got him to the elevator. Once inside, my relief came so I could go to bed.
The next afternoon my alarm woke me up and I was to be stationed in the hotel. Nobody knew where exactly and given the BS musical chairs routine we suffered the night before, I’m sure it would probably change moment to moment. I arrived and sure enough, I was supposed to be stationed right in front of his majesty’s room.
Just one minor problem.
He wasn’t there.
He was enroute back to the airport.
Apparently in the 10 hours I slept plans had changed. He suddenly announced he was going to fly to New York to visit his brother (the actual King of Saudi Arabia). And by “suddenly” I mean 5 minutes notice. Now, instead of the security team being stationed at the hotel, he needed a team to escort him back to New York.
This presented a problem for most of the guards. Already these morons proved they couldn’t plan more than 2 days in advance. Fun as it would be to jump on the Saudi royal airplane and jet off to New York and maybe even meet the actual king of Saudi Arabia, we didn’t even know if we’d be coming back any time soon. Would it be a day or two? Three days? A week? A month? Most of the guards had other responsibilities and jobs. They couldn’t commit for an undefined amount of time.
Invariably we were able to compile a team of 7 guys, all young, either fresh out of the police academy and without day time jobs, or guys who didn’t have any wives or children and could commit to an unknown time for the assignment. This of course had to be done quickly because his idiotness was already getting put on the convoy back to the airport and would need this team on the airplane with him. But despite the chaos this lack of planning caused in the security detail, we were able to put together a team.
So off this team goes, along with the guards protecting the convoy. And with the regular rigmarole of “Saudi Airport Musical Chairs” they inevitably are ready for the team to get on the plane and fly out. The “general” then comes to our leader and says,
“Oh, we don’t need your security guards anymore.”
And turns around and gets in the plane.
My boss and the team are sitting there stunned and pissed off. All the chaos and the hubbub and now they’re not going to New York.
Ultimately though, this was fine. It wasn’t like the prince took his entire entourage with him. He left roughly 90 people back in Rochester we had to baby sit and with the surplus of guys we could now start doing more normal shifts. Plus, Rochester PD was kind enough to offer us a couple off-duty cops and a minor semblance of organization and stability was starting to form.
Enter in his majesty’s 2 wives and princess daughters.
While his highness was a pain in the ass to schedule around, his wives and daughters were in in general a “royal” pain in the ass. But, for all of the pain they would cause it, it was here the seeds were laid for my super-awesome economic epiphany.
Proof Cain is the Best Candidate
Understand this and understand this well.
The reason Cain is getting assailed and assaulted is because he IS the best candidate out there and would surely trounce Obama. Do you remember "Operation Chaos?" Rush's effort to get Hillary nominated because she would do worse than Obama against McCain? This is the same thing.
The fact the MSM doesn't even list Cain below (but Jon Huntsman???) shows you they KNOW he is the front runner and the most viable candidate. They have to convince you otherwise.
I just don't know how much clearer I can make it.
You can contact CNBC and ask them the question I did:
"Why, if Cain is nothing but headlines news when it comes to sexual harassment and affairs, is he not even noteworthy when it comes to his candidacy."
The reason Cain is getting assailed and assaulted is because he IS the best candidate out there and would surely trounce Obama. Do you remember "Operation Chaos?" Rush's effort to get Hillary nominated because she would do worse than Obama against McCain? This is the same thing.
The fact the MSM doesn't even list Cain below (but Jon Huntsman???) shows you they KNOW he is the front runner and the most viable candidate. They have to convince you otherwise.
I just don't know how much clearer I can make it.
You can contact CNBC and ask them the question I did:
"Why, if Cain is nothing but headlines news when it comes to sexual harassment and affairs, is he not even noteworthy when it comes to his candidacy."
Hot Diggity Dividends!
In addition to mortgaging the past, present and future, bringing us scourges such as "sexual harassment," the EPA, "going green," "feminism," "global warming," the "ozone layer," the "housing bubble," the "dotcom bubble," the 'education bubble," "progressive certification," accounting scandals and an infinite amount of other socio-economic-political crap that has essentially destroyed the country, you can thank the Boomers for one additional thing and that is flooding the stock market with so much retirement dollars it makes it impossibly unaffordable for anybody else to be buying into stocks right now.
Regular Cappy Cap readers will already be familiar with the chart below, but as a refresher, the chart below shows you what's called the "dividend yield." This is the rate of return you can expect from dividends as a percent of the stock price. The reason this is important is because the ONLY real return you get from a stock is dividends. The ONLY thing a stock pays a shareholder is dividends. The ONLY reason you should invest in a stock (long term) is dividends.
Regular Cappy Cap readers will already be familiar with the chart below, but as a refresher, the chart below shows you what's called the "dividend yield." This is the rate of return you can expect from dividends as a percent of the stock price. The reason this is important is because the ONLY real return you get from a stock is dividends. The ONLY thing a stock pays a shareholder is dividends. The ONLY reason you should invest in a stock (long term) is dividends.
And thanks to trillions of dollars flooding the market, you now get a WHOPPING 2% rate of return through dividends!
Bullets and Rumpleminze would make for a better (and more fun) investment.
Further Vindicating Cain
Just keeps getting better.
I guess there's no end to bitter middle aged women looking for a free ride and will go to no ends to avoid real work.
I guess there's no end to bitter middle aged women looking for a free ride and will go to no ends to avoid real work.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
A Communications Degree!
She is a liar.
A bleeping communications degree. Not to mention bankruptcies and the like.
If this isn't obviously a political hit, then I don't know what is.
And you should all be mightily pissed political forces are working hard to bring a good man down who could make this country and your lives better.
A bleeping communications degree. Not to mention bankruptcies and the like.
If this isn't obviously a political hit, then I don't know what is.
And you should all be mightily pissed political forces are working hard to bring a good man down who could make this country and your lives better.
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