When Idiots Try to Become Economists

I'm a short, skinny white guy.

That's why I don't try to become an all-star basketball playing, pimping, frisbee-gold wearin', hip-hop-rappin', ghetto-blastin' home boy.

Word up g.

I know my strengths and I know my place.

Leave it to idiots to think they somehow have what it takes (ie-a brain and a positive IQ) to become an economist.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the dumbest, most spoiled brat Americans in the world; The people who drafted this e-mail;

>> September 10th - Gasoline Strike Day
>>
>> IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES DID NOT
>> PURCHASE
>> A DROP OF GASOLINE FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE OIL
>> COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES.
>>
>> AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULD HIT THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH A NET LOSS OF
>> OVER 4.6
>> BILLION DOLLARS WHICH AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINES OF THE OIL COMPANIES.
>>
>> THEREFORE, Sept 10TH HAS BEEN FORMALLY DECLARED "STICK IT TO THEM
>> DAY" AND
>>
>> THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION SHOULD NOT BUY A SINGLE DROP OF GASOLINE
>> THAT
>> DAY.
>>
>> THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE DONE IS IF YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO AS
>> MANY
>> PEOPLE
>> A S YOU CAN AND AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN TO GET THE WORD OUT.
>>
>> WAITING ON THIS ADMINISTRATION TO STEP IN AND CONTROL THE PRICES IS
>> NOT
>> GOING
>> TO HAPPEN. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REDUCTION AND CONTROL IN PRICES THAT
THE
>> ARAB NATIONS PROMISED TWO WEEKS AGO?
>>
>> REMEMBER ONE THING, NOT ONLY IS THE PRICE OF GASOLINE GOING UP BUT
AT

>> THE SAME TIME AIRLINES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES, TRUCKING
>> COMPANIES ARE
>> FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES WHICH EFFECTS PRICES ON EVERYTHING THAT
IS
>> SHIPPED. THINGS LIKE FOOD, CLOTHING, BUILDING MATERIALS, MEDICAL
>> SUPPLIES
>> ETC. WHO
>> PAYS IN THE END? WE DO!
>>
>> WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. IF THEY DON'T GET THE MESSAGE AFTER ONE
>> DAY, WE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN.
>>
>> SO DO YOUR PART AND SPREAD THE WORD.
>>
>> PLEASE FORWARD!!!!!

Broadcasting Again / Who Defines You

Well two things here folks;

1. I'll be broadcasting from AM 1500 again in scenic St. Paul Minnesota from the Minnesota State Fair. Certainly feel free to tune in or do that internet radio link up thing or webcast or whatever they call it.

2. Interesting conversation I had recently where I was asked who defines you, fictional or otherwise.

Nicholas Wolfwood
Jubei Kibagami
Oddball from Kelly's Heroes
Spike Spiegel

Only the truest of nerds will get this.

$20 I Didn't Want to Win

As I have pointed out before, I am a cynic.

Thus last week when one of my male friends came up to me and said he had a date for Thursday (today) certainly I was happy for him, but my first question was;

"What do you think the chances are she'll show?"

I asked this not because I am cynical, but because this friend of mine is not some old, battle-hardened, seasoned veteran of the Courtship Wars, but rather a youthful 26 year old kid who still has that glimmer of hope in his eyes. Who still has that optimistic choo-choo that could mentality. Who watches a lot of movies and still believes in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. And worse still, he believes that when a woman says yes to a date, that means he's actually going out on it.

I just wanted to prepare him for what I inevitably saw happening; "The Worst."

"The Worst" is not something that can happen to an old cynic like you or me. But it can happen to kids out there that are so young, youthful and idealistic they still get that "giddy" feeling. Remember that feeling from LOOONG ago? Like when you finally asked Suzie Johnson out in biology and she said yes? Why you were on cloud nine for the rest of the week. Brimming at the edge with anticipation and excitement of the upcoming date.

Yeah, well scratch that, for that "giddy" feeling has been pummeled out of us. For after countless last minute cancelltions, family emergencies, and well, just out right stand ups, us experienced folk never take it for granted that we're actually going on the date.

Sadly, the same cannot be said for these young, idealistic kids.

Thus "The Worst" isn't when old farts like you or me get cancelled on at the last minute. Heck no, most of us even prepare for it, having a back up date/plans in reserve. "The Worst" is when some young innocent kid with romantic notions of chivalry and kindness rockets to Cloud #9 on 100% Giddy Up n' Go Fuel, and then plummets back to Earth at the speed of sound when the girl cancels at the last minute.

Flower in hand, tickets in pocket, a droopy look on his face. The poor kid didn't see it coming.

Which is why I was so blunt and cynical, for I did not want my young friend to suffer such a fall.

Of course not everybody shared my views. For last night, T-24 hours to the date, we were all having dinner with some friends. One of which was a female friend who watched even MORE movies than the other guy and even believed in things like Leprechauns, the UN, and social security.

And when my young friend said,

"I don't know about my date tomorrow, I'm getting the feeling she's gonna bail"

She said,

"No, she wouldn't cancel on you. She'll show up"

That's when my capitalistic Spidey Senses started tingling, for I knew there was profit to be had.

"I'll bet you $20 she bails."

Being nice and brainwashed by watching too many G-rated movies the girl practically jumped across the living room to accept my wager and shake my hand.

"I'll take that $20!" she said confidently enough that I was somewhat worried my Spidey Senses had failed me.

I looked to my friend and asked,

"Is she American?"

"Yes."

"Brought up in America?"

"Yes."

"You're so on! $20 it is."

Fast forward 22 hours later and I get a call. A call from my young friend.

"You were right, she bailed."

Ahhh, the sweet joys of victory. Almost worth more than the $20 I'm going to collect. You can always rely on the American woman to act in a manner that does not warrant chivalry nor respect.

But having said that and being totally honest, I wish I didn't have to collect that $20. It certainly would be worth $20 for my young friend to be happy, to go on a date, and eliminate the need to be so cynical. It would certainly be worth the $20 to eliminate the cynicism and replace it with that good ol' fashion giddy feeling we used to get when we were young. It certainly would be worth $20 for American women to act in a manner that would warrant chivalry and respect.

Alas, that is wishful thinking on the order of thinking Santa Claus will bring me a Bloomberg Terminal and my own personal F-16 fighter plane this upcoming Christmas.

But there is hope. Hope that came from out of nowhere and from a sector I wasn't expecting. For you may have noticed my insistence on using the adjective "American" in the term "American woman."

Alas, it is more than manual labor that can be outsourced and cultural diversity isn't necessarily a bad thing I'm finding out.

I must thank Doinkicarus.

Oil Prices for the Masses

OK, so I've gotten enough requests to throw this chart up, so here it is.We've still got a ways to go before we hit our inflationary-adjusted highs.

Who Doesn't Like a Good Chart

I like charts.

Charts are cool.

And we all know that chicks dig guys who can make good charts.

I mean, I don't know how many times I'd be sitting there at the bar or the jazz club with my laptop, watching all these foolish guys trying to smooth talk the ladies or buy them drinks. And then all I do is fire up Excel, type some random numbers into the spreadsheet and make a pointless pie chart, and BOOM! They just flock to my table.Now, as you all know I pride myself on my charts, but mention should be given to others who appreciate the value and merits of charts.

Brad DeLong is one of those people.

Of course, his blog doesn't have quite as many charts as I have, but he still can whip up a mean chart!

Check out his blog

Ode to Cindy Sheehan

I really couldn't care less about Cindy Sheehan and the circus that surrounds her, but she is the perfect example of where a person's ego supercedes the cause.

Regardless of what you think of the war, here you have a mom who has used the death of her son to masturbate her own ego. Forget that her son was totally for the war and made the ultimate sacrifice. Forget about his wishes or even showing respect for her son. Forget that she's destroyed her family and prompted her husband to file divorce while trying to feed the unsatiable beast known as her ego. She gets all the attention in the world, instant celebrityship and notoriety from millions of people throughout the world that have equally pointless and hallow lives and thus need something to give them definition and meaning in their lives. All for the small selling of her soul by using her son's corpse as a pawn.

Lady, you're scum on the lowest order and if my mom ever did this (which she wouldn't because she's loving and caring and doesn't have such an ego, unlike you) I would come back from the dead and beat you freaking senseless.

Thus, aspiring young economists and capitalists, it's time to review, for I'm going to say it again;

Their egos supercede the cause. Learn it, know it. For it is your enemy and it is the enemy within.

Review #1
Review #2

That's What I'm Talking About!

I like betting liberals. Quickest way to make a quick buck and to make your point.

It's seems my Russian comrades have the same idea.

Of course, soon they will find out that unless they nail the specifics of the bet down and have it in writing and have a concrete way of determining who won, the leftists will try to weasel their way out on a technicality or crap data.

The Standard Bearer for Women Has Passed Away

I get the vast majority of my morals from dogs.

Dogs are probably the most honorable, upstanding, creatures on the face of the planet and you can learn a lot of things from dogs.

For example my first dog, Pretzel, was a proud, fierce dachshund. He would take on German Shepherds regardless of whether they took him seriously or not. He was insanely loyal. He loved his family unconditionally. And despite his physical handicap of being a wiener dog, that never stopped him from pointlessly trying to kill as many squirrels, chipmunks, badgers, raccoons, and cats (his total kill tally was 0).

His replacement was Louise, a fat, orphaned dachshund that was very motherly. So motherly she would bark in a lecturing tone if people hadn't gotten up at a certain time. Upon our first meeting when I had come back home from college and was shredded from a 24 hour shift she somehow sensed that I was weakened and tired and "protected" me all night by sleeping at the foot of the futon in case I was somehow attacked by a late night assailant. The next day I immediately got the impression that she viewed me as her son as she followed me around not in a "gee you wanna play" manner, but a very protective, authoritative, but caring manner.

Constantly wanting attention. Constantly wanting to kiss me. Constantly wanting to set at the couch next to me. Constantly excited any time I would show up.

Over the years I noticed that Louise displayed a whole bevy of characteristics that if they were to be imbedded in a human woman, it would make for the perfect girl.

She was unrivalledly sweet, kind and caring.

She had unconditional and limitless love for her family.

She was so excited to see me she could barely control herself...and many times didn't as she would wet the floor...this last aspect would not be desirable in a girl.

She was completely loyal and protective.

She wouldn't just kiss me, she'd smother me with attention.

She would always want to play and appreciated the gifts I'd bring her (her favorite of which were squeak toys)

Sadly, Louise was a dog and dogs don't live forever, and thus, she passed away today. But as all dogs before her she left me something very important; a standard by which I judge all human girls.

Alas, it's a standard very few human girls meet, but that's just how great a dog she was.

The Merits of Video Games

A wise sage that shall in this post only be referenced to as "Kilgs" was so wise that he was actually able to convince women that playing video games was indeed a good thing for their boyfriends and something they should endorse. He did it by stating some simple facts;

1. You know where they are.
2. You know they are not going to get into a fight or commit crimes.
3. It costs less than going out and boozing it up and clubbing.
4. And, if anything video games act as an enforcer of loyalty because you KNOW FOR A FACT there aren't any other women there.

It was because of the wise Kilgs that myself and the St. Paul boys were able to experience a Golden Age of Video Games where we would hold weekend long Halo extravaganza's and the girlfriends were only too happy to drop on by, airlift us food and beer, and then promptly leave whilst we slaughtered each other over the DSL cables.

But alas, this isn't enough to convince the Nanny Fascists from trying to ruin our fun. On top of finding ways to tax smoking, banning smoking, and make headway into villianizing unhealthy foods, the Nanny Fascists are now talking about the "evils" of video games. Making for odd bed-fellows between the religious right fanatics and their traditional tax-for-any-reason-we-can communist enemies.

Once again, time to defend your fun boys against the true forces of evil.

I Was Stabbed in the Back!

I was a young and foolish 23 year old at the time and it was the only time (at least to my knowledge anyway) that a girlfriend cheated on me. A knock out dame that she was, but she was what most people would consider to be a bitch. A bulimic, soap opera queen from L.A. that would nit pick the minorest of things to make a big drama out of it. Add to that the person she cheated on me with was a 36 year old personal injury lawyer who had wined and dined her at the most expensive places in the Twin Cities metro, offered to buy her a car and pay her way through college while he was married no less, and it made for quite the colorful story of betrayal.

This was one of the more forming experiences in my life especially in the department of trust. Never again did I approach a date or a potential courtship with optimism or hope, but rather skepticism and very cautious and very measured optimism. But beyond that my faith and trust in things outside girls, dating and courtship didn’t change for I didn’t perceive the threat of betrayal from those aspects of my life.

Well now, 7 years later, I am shocked and without words. For I have been betrayed even worse than the time Bulimic Babe cheated on me. I am more betrayed than when Brutus killed Cesear. I am more betrayed than when JFK left the Cuban fighters to die in the Bay of Pigs invasion.

My stalwart companion, my friend of all friends, an entity I have known and trusted for over 9 years, has stabbed me in the back. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the cover of the most recent issue of The Economist.

Those bastards!

Those Chinese Bastards! How Dare They!

Whilst in slow season I participate in a political discussion group to beat some sense into the group. They mock and ridicule me, but the chicks secretly find me sexy.

However, one of the bigger differences I have with two of the guys in the group is whether a strong China would be a good China. This of course depends on who is in command and a bevy of other factors, but there are basically two camps;

• As China gains economic and military power the communists will inevitably crush the US through military or economic warfare.
• As China gains economic power and further free up their economy, the communists will only be communists in name and they will form an economy mutual advantageous to both the US and China and will become probably one of our best allies in the long run.

I am in the second camp as I am always right.

Thus, it was a pleasure to see this in the news today;

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050808/ap_on_bi_ge/china_boeing

Life is Harsh, and So am I

Greetings fellow readers;

Before reading on, make sure you read this and then this.

It shall put things into context.

Enjoy!


http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-10-10-internet-defamation-case_x.htm

And here's another.

http://www.redorbit.com/news/technology/711046/lawsuits_aim_at_libelous_bloggers/index.html?source=r_technology

What's the word I'm looking for? Precedent?????

A Woman After My Own Heart

Great minds think alike.

JMPP strikes again!

Wish One of 'Em was a Video Game Playing Economist

Very interesting chart in The Economist couple issues back. I figure .1% of the top income earners, given roughly half of the population works, which means there's 140 million income earners, so that's the top 140,000 income earners in the US. At least one of them HAS TO BE A SEXY VIDEO GAME PLAYING ECONOMIST BABE!!!