Fat Chicks Allowed

We've been going at it the wrong way gentlemen. Barking up the wrong tree. Pissing into the wind.

As I've said before I often think that society spoils very attractive women and gives them a free pass in many things. Simply because a woman is attractive means that one-half the population wishes to sleep with her and thusly will buy her food, drinks, dinner, dates, houses, jewelry, heck I remember a personal injury lawyer scamming on a girlfriend of mine promising to pay for her college (I was a wealthy security guard at the time). This effectively shields these women from the harsh realities of life that turns you from a child into an adult. So while the rest of us schlepps have to slave away at work, earn a degree, pay a mortgage, and fill our own gas tanks, Bambi is being chauffered around by Winston Winthrop III.

Now not to be arrogant or bragging, but truthfully, I keep myself in enough shape and ask out such a volume of girls that inevitably one is drunk enough, slips up and says yes. Thusly I do tend to date very attractive women.

However, these never or rarely make it past the first date as they quickly prove themselves to be complete morons and ditzes.

For example, in my recent trip to Rapid City a very attractive girl GAVE ME her number and e-mail without me even asking and DEMANDED stay in town one extra day so that we could go out on a date...only to stand me up the next day.

Another would be the "Norwegian Goddess" who got so hammered one night she not only got into fisticuffs with her friends, but was so drunk she couldn't tell if she was in St. Paul or Minneapolis and thusly needed me to pick her up (below is a thing called a "map" that shows you the geographic difference between the two).

Or perhaps my personal favorite, the neice of one of the top dogs inTaiwan's Kuomintang party whose family had a net worth in excess of $1 billion that literally LECTURED ME FOR 15 STAIGHT MINUTES after I had filled up the tank, went into the station to pay, and came back and had the audacity NOT TO ASK HER IF SHE WANTED SOMETHING TO DRINK!

Obviously the common theme among these very attractive women is they're all psycho. They're mean. They're spoiled. They're immature.

In short, their personalities suck.

This presents a paradox to any guy who wishes to date attractive women;

physical attraction is inversely related to personality.

Here is a formula developed by U of Chicago economists;


Thus the question becomes how do you solve this paradox, and date a girl that is not only attractive, but nice as well. Well, gentlemen, I think I have the answer.

Ask yourself the question, what is easier to change?

A person's looks

or

A person's personality?

And now the merits of my genius plan becomes apparent. For while a person's personality is more or less set by the age of 24, their physical appearance is not. And while a person's personality can be changed, it is infinitely easier to change somebody's physical appearance.

Thus, guys, men, hombres and dudes, we've been going about it all the wrong way.

Instead of chasing after hot chicks that no doubt have wretched and unchangible personalities, we should be keeping a keen eye out for overweight women that you could see it that if they lost 20, 30, 50 pounds, etc., they'd be hot. And since society is anything but nice to fat chicks, you can practically be guaranteed that they know how to support themselves, they don't expect society to take care of them, they have personality and have had to develop some kind of intellect or skill in order to have a social life, just like the rest of us. It's literally only a matter of slimming them down.

Now, there are of course problems with my new-found theory.

One, friends have pointed out they don't want to date fat chicks. And I concur, but that is not what the theory portends. Much as we may lament it, you must be physically attracted to somebody to date them. But that doesn't mean you can't be friends and go running or walking.

Secondly, dissenters brought up the issue of how exactly do you put it to an overweight girl that she needs to lose 40 pounds? Simple, you don't. You just say, "hey, do you ever go running?" Get them out dancing. Some form of exercise without mentioning that she needs to lose weight.

Also is the issue of how "blunt" and "mean spirited" this is.

Well that's because if you're insulted by such an idea you are probably of the lefter-leaning sorts because you dont' like the truth and rather lie to somebody to spare their feelings than to truly help them out.

It may be blunt, it may be cold- hearted truth, but it is not mean spirited. Mean-spirited would be something like not telling an overweight person they need to lose weight knowing full well their life expectancy will be 15 years shorter if you don't.

That's mean spirited.

"Asking" not "TELLING" a woman to go running pulls off the delicate balance of being polite yet being truthful as well.

Regardless, the theory has merit and is a win-win-win situation as far as I can tell.

1. The monopoly super attractive women have would be broken and they'd be forced to compete by becoming nicer people.

2. Overweight women would slim down, making them not only more attractive, but healthier.

3. A good looking dame with a great personality might not be a mutually exclusive event.