Arguably the most inciting and controversial thing I've said many times in my life is when speaking to a woman;
"You do not determine whether you are beautiful or attractive, let alone what is beautiful or attractive in women. Men do."
And I will never shy away from this statement. Matter of fact I will stand firm by it my entire life, because it is true. Men determine what is beautiful or attractive in women, just as women determine what is handsome or attractive in men.
The reason why is that IS the definition of attractive. If you attract other people, then you are "attractive." I'll be as intellectually honest to agree that people of the same sex who are homosexual can also define whether you are attractive. But setting the homosexual rule aside, you cannot decide simply by yourself that you are attractive or somebody of the same sex is attractive. It simply does not work that way. Other people define it.
Naturally this insults people because how dare I take away their right to determine whether they find somebody attractive or not. Of course I'm not taking their right away, you can find whoever you want to be attractive. If you asked me, I would say Clive Owen is probably the most handsome man in the world. But my opinion doesn't matter because in the end what ultimately determines whether a woman is beautiful or a man is handsome is the opposite sex. And though I may look like Clive, because I am attracted to women, I have no authority as to whether or not he is actually attractive.
Now, this is a simple FACT. Meaning it is not an opinion. It is not questionable. It is just the simple reality of life. And when it comes to facts you have two options;
1. Accept the fact. - this is the healthiest option because, well, that's what sane people do. You are an adult. You may not like some facts, but they are facts and you have the intellectual maturity to acknowledge that. (for example men usually have to accept the fact that women like taller men).
2. Deny the fact and become delusional.
Guess which one is going to lead to a happier and more productive life?
I do not agree that this is a fact. You are speaking only of sexual attraction, but people can be attracted in many ways. For many women it is important what other women think of their beauty, fashion, personality, etc.
ReplyDeleteNo, I completely disagree with your assessment that the opposite sex wholly determines attractiveness.