Help Me Help You

Sadeep came from Bombay, India all of a month ago. I first met him three weeks ago in one of my dance classes that I teach as I moonlight on the side. Mathematically that would have put his total time in the US at about one week, giving him little time to prepare what awaited for him.

For what awaited for him were women.

Lot's of women.

And single women too.

For December is my busiest month for dance classes and (as it has always been) I have more women than men in my classes.

Sadeep only signed up for one class, but since I had 5 extra women in another class that night as well as 9 women AND NO MEN in my dance class the next day, I recruited Sadeep to help me with all the extra women.

All of three weeks later he's now reasonably accomplished in salsa, quite accomplished in swing dancing, and the entire time he's dancing with no less than a dozen single women with a big grin on his face.

Welcome to America.

However, it got me thinking.

Normally it's a herculean task to get men to show up for dance class. I have 9 women and NO men in a singles dance class, and I still could only muster up Sadeep, myself and two other friends to attend. Another class I had 12 women and 2 men sign up. The men never showed. And in pretty much every other class I have there are at least, LEAST 5 women without partners.

Now I remember the training we got at Guy School. And at Guy School they said our primary mission was "You will go where there are women."

Pretty simple mission.

"Go where the women are. Right, got it, got it. Don't know what I'll do when I get there, but I'll go where the women are."

And the men are botching up the mission!

Men, how freaking difficult is it for you to take a dance class? Thousands of single women, all in pretty good shape since they are taking dance, of varying ages and professions, just sitting there without partners waiting for you to sign up and have your choosing? It is an opportunity of a life time, yet no men avail themselves of it. Alas, leaving me, Sadeep and my buddies Chico and Kale to take it upon ourselves and suffer this task. The horror.

Thus, let me give you men a bit of advice. This is the best kept secret in the world;

ASK A GIRL TO A DANCE CLASS

OR JUST SHOW UP TO A DANCE CLASS BY YOURSELF

You can hardly fail.

But nooo, you won't listen to me. No, you don't "like" dancing. And you don't have rhythm. And dancing "isn't fun." Yes, like going to the bars, dropping a ton of coinage on drinks for local bar flies that have no intention of going out with you anyway, is fun. Besides which, since when did dating ever become fun? You'll tolerate a Julia Robert's movie where some girl dies of cancer and there is seemingly no plot (nor end). You'll go to a fancy schmancy restaurant and fork over $100 for dinner when you really could just kill for a Chipolte burrito. You'll even have discussions about People Magazine and Lindsay Lohan. But oh no, not dancing. That's crosses the line.

Regardless, the idea I had was that if we can't get you American men to dance, then maybe we could outsource men to India and China. Lot's of men there, and in China because of the one child policy and the abortion of female babies, there is a surplus of men. Last year I had Raj, Chico, Vladimir and a handful of other guys form a sort of International, Multicultural Bachelor Dance Force to save the local lovelies from dancing by themselves. And even that wasn't enough.

So men, Americans, gentlemen and heroes, do yourself a favor and take a dance class. Many women (not to mention many dance instructors) will thank you.