Drill in ANWR or the Polar Bear Gets It

I had just finished a very long day at Yellowstone National Park. Did the whole geyser tour, hiked about a cumulative of 5 miles in the sulphur smelling gas they exude and then decided to climb Mt. Washburn which is 10,300 ft towards the later afternoon. Came down Washburn Moutain with only one thing in mind; food. Price was no concern, quality was no concern, I would have killed a buffalo and eaten it raw right in front of a ranger if I had seen one. So I headed south into a small village/town called Canyon and there was a place called “The Canyon Lodge.”

There’s a 20 minute wait, but it didn’t matter it was the only place to eat. Soon enough we get called and I open the menu. Prices are exorbitant. A Rueben sandwich cost $14, a salad was $12, but I didn’t care, I was that hungry. So while we wait for our waitress I start reading the backside of the menu which goes over the history of the Canyon Lodge;

“We here are the Canyon Lodge understand how important nature and the environment are to the world. That’s why we here at the Canyon Lodge strive to do our best to recycle and use only natural, organic foods to not only do our best for the environment but help others of diverse cultural, ethnic, socio and economic backgrounds do theirs.”

I got up, looked at my buddy across the table and said, “F#ck this sh!t. We’re outta here!”

My buddy said, “But we’re starving and there’s no restaurants for miles.”

I said, “I don’t care. I’m willing to drive back to Cody to avoid paying these a$$holes any of my money.” Which is precisely what we did.

For while Cody was 80 miles away, back in Cody was a place called Irma’s. Irma’s is a bar/restaurant/roadhouse. We stopped there before and martini’s cost $2.50, you could smoke, Texas Hold Em was going on in the back, they had Wi-Fi and their Rueben’s didn’t cost $14. All in all it was the classical case of a capitalist entity running circles around a socialist entity in terms of quality and price. But the real reason I was willing to drive the 80 miles back to Cody was that their menus wouldn’t preach or proselytize to use some leftist, socialist, enviro-Nazi creed. Cody treated their customers like adults and instead of TELLING the customer how they should live their lives (while coincidentally serving overpriced food at the same time) their primary goal was to run a good bar and restaurant and not give a damn how you led your life.

And this is an important lesson for all you global-warming freaks, Obama-social-justice-types and varied sorts of holier-than-thou crusading liberals out there; you will piss off and enrage more people by lecturing and proselytizing to people your warped little religion than just letting us be and letting us make our own decisions for ourselves. It’s like any type of religious zealot coming up to your house, knocking on your door and trying to ram their religion down your throat. You will do more damage than good for your cause.

Worse still for your little do-nothing-but-make-myself-feel-better-crusade, I fathom there will inevitably be a backlash. Forget the fact YOU caused me to burn more gas to drive out to Cody on pure principle and ultimately countered your intentions of fighting global warming. What if every time I hear about some global warming fraud spewing his crap, I get sick of it and just to piss him off and counter his intentions I decide to burn a gallon of gas? Or drive my 8 cylinder car instead of the motorcycle? What if every time somebody hears about ANWR being denied drilling by congress, they decide to go and hunt down a polar bear? Or better yet, I become a “polar bear terrorist” and hold hostage 40 polar bears and unless “my demands you open ANWR are met, the 40 polar bears get it!” killing more polar bears than ANWR ever would? Or for every time ELF burns a Hummer dealership, somebody decides to go and burn a Prius dealership?

Of course, these things are extreme, and most hard working capitalists are too busy earning a living to have time to go on little polar bear assassination crusades (unlike our leftist counterparts), but I think the time is nigh for me to stop recycling, start a weekly “gallon o’ gas burning event” and start burning Styrofoam, paint and whatever other things I shouldn’t be doing and others should do the same. Anything to cause more “damage” to the environment in the eyes of these environmentalist zealots in retaliation for their arrogance to dare lecture and proselytize to us about how we lead our lives.