The US Needs a Serious Ass Spanking

The arrogance I see in the traders of Wall Street and the members of congress is insulting.

How dare you schumcks, you dumb American people, you insignificant plebs insist there is no bail out

.

How dare you morons, you simpletons who can’t possibly understand the complexities of spending less than what you make, refuse to bail our corrupt, spoiled rotten asses out.

Don’t you know who we are? We are the leaders of the United States. This is not a democracy, we tell you what to do. Not the other way around.

The beauty of this bail out getting shot down in flames, is that it bitch slaps these bastards right upside the head and harshly reminds them that it is THEY who work for US.

I don’t know about you, but I did contact my representatives in congress and basically said that if a bail out did go through, I would not only not vote for them, but fund their competition come the next election season. It seems a couple million of you did as well, for some true STATESMEN did their duty and voted in the best interests of the people.

But there is something that must be discussed or at least clarified here. And the reason is because we’re told that this bail out is absolutely necessary. That it is needed and if we don’t get a bail out of some sort, then “main street” will be harmed by the follies of Wall Street.

B as in B

S as in S.

Let me try to explain it in a manner that won’t put normal non-economist people to sleep.

There is a certain, fixed amount of economic pain that this country has to go through for its financial sins. For spending more than it makes. For putting everything on a credit card. For refusing to work for the things we want. And if we can’t afford it, oh well, we’ll just file for bankruptcy.

This amount of pain is unavoidable. We cannot escape it. We are suffering the beginnings of it right now, but we do have an option of how we want to endure it. It’s the classical;

“Do you jump into the cold water and get it over with in one shot? Or do you ooch in, inch by inch and acclimate yourself slowly to it.”

The first option, just “jumping in” as it were, would be where there would be no bail out. We let the markets fall to wherever they may. A bottom will be found, the market will stabilize, assets and resources will be reallocated, we’ll go into a sharp recession, but it will be over with within a year.

The second option is to go through with the bail out and instead of suffering one big hit, borrow or print off more money to spread the pain out over time. This is more of the “FDR” approach to the Great Depression (which is half the reason it lasted so damn long). There will not be as a sharp recession or as sharp of a jump in unemployment, but the economy will be slothful, with growth minimal and under 1% for at least a year, and unemployment will still go up and remain there stubbornly for the foreseeable future.

Now most paradoxes, the choices are equally appealing or unappealing. This is why they’re called “paradoxes.” But in the case of the bail out, there is no debate; the jump in the water approach is immensely more beneficial than the ooch in approach. And the reason why is a long lost art form in the United States;

Punishment.

Punishment is a good thing. Arguably the majority of the social, economic, and crime problems in the US can be traced back to a lack of punishment, namely a lack of heavy handed fathers. An unwavering father-figure that would state what is right, and what is wrong, didn’t give a dam what you thought, and by God if you cross that line, you are getting punished.

Now the benefits of punishment is if you have a father who genuinely cares about you and loves you, he will have no problem disciplining you as it is in your best long term interests. You may not have liked it at the moment when you were 7 and getting spanked for shaving the dog (guilty), but when you got older you were immensely grateful for those harsh lessons your father insisted upon you in your youth. And when it comes to a country, it’s no different.

Unfortunately here in the US as a society have been brought up by a bunch of pansy, sensitive 90’s type wussy fathers. Congress never being able to tell you no. Money for everybody and everything. And did you do a naughty thing? Well, “what did congress do wrong? Did we not give you enough money? Would you like some free college tuition and health care and cake and pie and apples and candy?” And good lord, could there be a better example of an utter lack of fatherly wisdom and guidance than the public schools? Children can do no wrong. And if they do, how much of the taxpayer’s money can we give you?

Alas, now daddy’s little girl has come home and told him that she not only stole his credit card, but racked up $700 billion in bad mortgages on it. Daddy’s little girl being the financial deadbeats who knowingly or ignorantly took on more debt than they could afford or the banking scumbags who were all too eager to give the $700 billion to people who really weren’t any more intelligent than a 14 year old suburbanite princess.

What does Daddy do?

Does daddy say, “Oh, I’m sorry sweetie. What did I do wrong? How did I fail as a father that you racked up $700 billion of other people’s money? Maybe you need therapy. Maybe I need therapy?”

Or does Daddy say,

“Bend the ef over, I am going to spank you freaking silly and then ground you until you are 40. And not only that, on top of it, I’m going to send you to the work house to ensure you pay all $700 billion back and if you have to work until you’re dead, so be it.”

This is the ultimate reason why the “jump in all at once” approach is better than the “ooch in” approach. Because punishment will be served. Justice will be done. Revenge will be savored.

If there is no bail out, then daddy’s little princesses are going to get the punishment they so rightly deserve. The financial deadbeats will get no “federal aid” to support their habit of being freaking morons and spending more than they make. The arrogant charlatans of our times known as bankers and politicians and all their political cronies who have vested financial interests in the financial services industry and have parasited off the back of the millions of hardworking Americans will have to (OH MY GOD) become HARD WORKING AMERICANS! But key to this all, and why this approach is infinitely superior to the ooch in approach, is because punishment on the order of making these bastards eat all $700 billion of THEIR OWN MESS will make them never again screw the American people over for their own selfish interests. And yes, we may go through a harsh recession. And yes, unemployment will go up. And yes, you Americans will bitch and whine about it. But in the end, we will have a more responsible society as those who were irresponsible will be perpetually impoverish to the point of financial incripplement, and the rest of America can move on (at a higher rate of economic growth I might add), unencumbered without them.

All it is, is a simple matter of reminding those bastards in Washington who’s in control. It is within your power. The arrogance of “congressional leaders,” George Bush, Paulson and the other elites out there to DEMAND we give them a bail out (for as far as I can tell is to ensure elitists stay wealth at your expense) is the most compelling reason why not only they should be voted out of office, but why you, as an American citizen are compelled to call your congressional representatives and demand there be no bail out whatsoever.

Because, after all, this is a democracy. And congress, as well as president Bush needs to be reminded of “Who’s their daddy.”

Oh, and buy my book already! To quote Bill Cosby "It'll make you smart!"