When I was a whopping 9 years old my siblings and I got to see "Footloose" in 1984 which given the make out scene was about the closest to a rated X movie we had ever seen.
Didn't pay much attention to the plot. Knew there was some kid who could dance and was a good fighter. Then there was some guy with a truck and some antlers. Totally grossed out by the french kissing. And there was this angry pastor who I was later to find out was John Lithgow.
Now fast forward 20 odd years and all of the sudden I'm starting to appreciate the political statement of Footloose, not because of being a pastor's kid and being banned from dancing in the Wisconsin synod, not because of going to parochial school where they guarantee to make your kid hate religion, and not because of the nightmares I endured of dating a just a mere handful of born again Christians, but because today
2009
I at the age of 34
have lost not one,
but three private dance gigs this spring alone because.....(are you ready for this?)
THE ELDERS OF THE CHURCH WHERE THE WEDDINGS WERE TO BE HELD VOTED AGAINST HAVING A BALLROOM DANCE IN THE CHURCH.
Now I am not an expert on love or marriage. I am not an expert on weddings nor receptions. But from what I can tell since when the f%ck has the wedding been about people other than the bride and groom? And if the bride and groom would like to have something as sinful as BALLROOM-FREAKING-DANCING could the god damned (pun intended) church be so kind as to accommodate them on this simple and innocent request?
No, apparently not, apparently it is 1984 in more ways than one.
Now I'm going to say it again, as I've said before, if religions around the world would like to bolster their enrollment (particularly Christian ones) and not drive people away then maybe they ought to loosen up and ditch their outmoded, obsolete and outright insane and pointless rules.
I'm by no means telling them to ditch the fire and brimstone or the morality and laws, but the sects or strains of Christianity where they criminalize and villainize sex and attraction to the opposite sex to guilt trip and control the masses are going to do nothing but hasten their demise. Sex is meant only for procreation (dated one gal that believed that)?
Kissing should only occur after engagement (dated another gal that believed that)?
Dressing sexy for her husband would be considered immoral (guilty again in dating a girl that believed that)?
Are you freaking kidding me?
And now, ballroom dancing is a sin and should be banned.
It's kind of like watching the stock market crash as Obama implements (or even mentions) his socialist fiscal policies. The people wondering why the market is crashing and the economy tanking are just as clueless as the heads of the churches watching their enrollments drop and congregations shrink.
Hi Cap'n,
ReplyDeleteWhen my stepsister got married (at home, very casual), we put on a Motown CD for our listening enjoyment. (Motown - not NIN. Pretty tame, right?) our fundie step-uncle insisted that it be turned off. No one else was allowed to listen to it, because he and his wife don't listen to secular music.
OTOH, as Hillaire Belloc pointed out many moons ago,
"Where ever the Catholic sun does shine,
Is music and laughter and good red wine.
At least I have ever found it so,
Benedicamus Domino."
I probably spelled the Latin wrong, but still - Yay!
The Big Seester
But from what I can tell since when the f%ck has the wedding been about people other than the bride and groom?
ReplyDeleteSince the beginning of time, Captain - the Christian conception is that a marriage is not just about the bride and groom, but about their relationship with God and His church.
If a church lets a bride and groom use its facilities, that's a privilege. The church has every right to specify which behaviours will and will not be allowed within its walls.
if religions around the world would like to bolster their enrollment (particularly Christian ones) and not drive people away then maybe they ought to loosen up and ditch their outmoded, obsolete and outright insane and pointless rules.
Wrong; conservative denominations grow faster than 'anything-goes' ones.
You've got a lot of anger, Cap'n.
You'd think they'd be bred out of existence by now, except:
ReplyDelete1. The people against them don't have enough kids
2. They make up for lost time after marriage.
Even so, they have got to be shrinking. My most religious friends are all ballroom and salsa dancers. It's just weird their, sort of like how people here don't like plastic bags.
I'm sure you've heard this before, but women from Minnesota dress... weird. It's like the Irish Gypsy beauty pageant weird. Really short skirts and dresses with strange blouse and sweater combinations. Aside from the mixed Norwegian, Swedish and German features, I can always tell a Minn girl by her outfit.
Captain Capitalism said:
ReplyDelete"Sex is meant only for procreation (dated one gal that believed that)?
Kissing should only occur after engagement (dated another gal that believed that)?
Dressing sexy for her husband would be considered immoral (guilty again in dating a girl that believed that)? "
Wow. Just . . . wow.
I've always had the rule that I wouldn't date a guy before I talked to him a few times (and I mean a real conversation, not some half-shouted bar conversation where you spend five minutes just trying to figure out what the other person's name is), so I would have at least a hint what I might be getting into. That's resulted in a much quieter social than what yours sounds like, but overall I think mine is the better strategy. Less significant others, but less nightmares too.
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Robert Miller said
"women from Minnesota dress... weird. It's like the Irish Gypsy beauty pageant weird. Really short skirts and dresses with strange blouse and sweater combinations. Aside from the mixed Norwegian, Swedish and German features, I can always tell a Minn girl by her outfit."
I've never heard that. I've never lived in Minnesota either, but still . . . that's really interesting.
CSGood,
ReplyDeleteperhaps I should qualify myself.
These girls I never made it past the third date. Once I found out "kissing is the devil's work" in their minds they were dumped as only modern day neo-spinsters could be.
Rapidly.
Ballroom music? Next there'll be dancing!
ReplyDeleteTruly, a slippery slope straight to hell.
Not all churches ban dances and dance music. Try the Methodist church on Hebron Parkway, in north Dallas. They actually have dance classes for two hours every Wednesday night - West-Coast Swing from 6-7pm and Ballroom (waltz in February, cha-cha in March) from 7-8pm. Great participation from teenagers to seniors. Visitors are welcome! http://www.firstchurch.net/
ReplyDeleteThere's also a jazz big band that practices IN THE SANCTUARY (gasp) most Monday nights. Anyone is welcome to stop by and listen. http://www.crosswindsjazz.com/ And, they packed that same sanctuary for a Saturday night benefit concert last January.