Sunday, May 24, 2009

How to Stimulate the Economy #324

Much of the solution to get the US economy growing again involves destroying bottlenecks that keep or hold back production.

For example if we were allowed to get rid of children that disrupt class and thereby lessen the quality of education for the remaining 80%, imagine what levels of learning those kids could learn?

Instead of having "commuter lanes" that nobody uses or light rail systems that benefit the minority, why not build 12 lane highways so people can not only get to work on time, but spend more time with family, less time on the road, and if you are a true environmentalist, burn less fossil fuels as they zip quickly along.

We could even shoot the majority of bankers and mortgage brokers that caused the economic crisis we're in. Imagine a functional and accurate financial system that assesses risk and return precisely and allocates resources accordingly (not to mention the additional honesty we'd receive from bankers as "The Great Banker Purge of 2009" is fresh in their memories).

But of all the many bottlenecks we could destroy there is one that would cause immense economic growth;

The grocery store lane.

You see right now in Minnesota you get a 50/50 chance of having a self-check out lane at most grocery stores. Those 50% WITHOUT self-check out lanes are the culprits in holding back our economic recovery. Yes, I, along with many-a-bachelor have availed ourselves of this great time saving device. We save the grocery store money in that they needn't hire labor to check us out. And with the time saved, it gives us all that much more time to contribute to GDP and lead this nation out of recession.

But oh, there are those grocery stores that insist on holding us hostage, waiting behind Tilly and her $173.45 worth of groceries, keeping us from our heroic economic calling of contributing to GDP. Oh no, we're not allowed out of the slow grocery store lane. No, we have to suffer looking over worthless rags/magazines about Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt interspersed between the trashy romance novels. Only to be condemned to a lengthier sentence as Tilly pulls out her coupons.

Yes, Tilly saved $1.02.

But it cost the economy $3,506 in lost labor and production.

Ergo, when I am king, I shall mandate that all stores have self-check out lines so that the movers and shakers and true GDP-producers may pay for their wares, get out of the store and get on with their lives, while Tilly and her coupon cutters can hold each other up.

13 comments:

  1. Yep, of course in CA they have it backwards. Hybrids can travel in the High Occupancy Lanes (which are almost always empty). If they really wanted to save gas and CO2 they'd let SUVs use the HOV lanes.

    But those self-checkouts only save time if people are smart enough to use them. The few times I've used them in other states, they were backed up because of morons.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous10:35 PM

    Tilly not only saved $1.02, but then paid by check. Busy with getting the coupons straight, she didn't have a check pre-written by the time she got to checkout, so she had to write out the check in full further slowing down the line.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had to laugh at the coupon thing... although I can do way better than $1.02 in coupons. Avid couponers like myself can walk away from the store in the black. Its really fun you should try it sometime.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mark McLaughlin8:05 AM

    So long as we can outlaw the self checkout machines that have weight scales.

    If you have veggies/fruit/bulk goods, get in line.

    The average dolt has a hard enough time figuring out where the barcodes are, and watching them flip through the 40 pg booklet to find the code for their 1/2 lbs bag of organic figs make me want to go Pulp Fiction on their ass.

    ReplyDelete
  5. chemist8:42 AM

    "when I am king, I shall mandate that all stores have self-check out lines"

    I though you claim that one of the problems is government intervention in private buisness? Is that not what this would be? Should it not be up to the buisness to decide?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Self checkout is generally slower then having a human that is well trained, and well compensated. For exactly the reasons laid out above. Incompetent individuals unable or unwilling to read the instructions clearly printed on the machine, or shown in the display. Give me an RFID system where the scanner reads everything, including your payment information, as you walk through the door. (could be reality with some tweaking.)

    But, I do have to raise issue with your assertion that a 12 lane highway would actually reduce transit times. All it will really do is allow 12 lanes of traffic to get backed up at every exit, just like the 2/3/4 lane highways currently do.

    Want to reduce traffic times, and emissions? Create true limited access roads. Instead of having an exit every 1/2 mile, which creates turbulence, have them every 10-15 miles. If everyone is traveling in the same direction without any reason or incentive to slow down, change lanes, or avoid incoming traffic, traffic will flow smoothly.

    ReplyDelete
  7. In my experience, the self-check-out lanes are usually being monopolized by the dumbasses with 2.6 spawnlings and carts stuffed to the breaking point. I figure the dumbasses either believe they can do the check-out more efficiently than the cashier, or the dumbasses hope to sneak the more expensive items through without paying for them. It's almost as if the self-check-out lanes have become honey traps.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What they need are RFID tags that are automatically added to your total when you roll your cart through a sensor. Then you wave your credit card under the machine, confirm your basket, and bam you're done. If it works for security, it will work for checkout. RFID costs only a few cents. Maybe someone will learn to spoof the machine, but there's ways to catch that with cameras. A couple of security guards, some low wage baggers, and no lines.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Do you have Albertsons grocery stores in Minn? I don't know how they do it, but their cashiers make every line practically grind to a halt. It is the same here in Washington as it was in Texas when I lived there during my Army enlistment.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous7:14 PM

    All it will really do is allow 12 lanes of traffic to get backed up at every exit, just like the 2/3/4 lane highways currently do. Increasing capacity doesn't improve throughput? Absurd.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ryan Fuller8:51 PM

    "Yep, of course in CA they have it backwards. Hybrids can travel in the High Occupancy Lanes (which are almost always empty). If they really wanted to save gas and CO2 they'd let SUVs use the HOV lanes."

    I'm sure they're just trying to encourage people to buy hybrids, failing to understand that their little adventure in social engineering is just keeping SUVs on the road longer.

    Of course, I think deep down they don't care enough to question whether they're really reducing emissions; leftist culture has always been obsessed with good intentions more than the actual consequences of their policies. That's why they're so eager to entrust the economy to a clueless politician who promises "hope and change" and have absolutely no idea how businessmen acting in their own interest might actually be a benefit to society.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous9:17 PM

    Captain, my captain, you are SO behind the times. The latest thing is a hand held scanner. You scan all your crap aND BAG IT AS YOU GO. When you get to the check out your scanner talks to to the machine when it docks, you weigh whatever isn't barcoded, wave your card and are done.

    You literally go through check out in 30-45secs with 130$ worth of groceries.

    Of course it'd help to no end if grocery stores used a one line- many counter model rather than thestupid many to many system where inevitably you get stuck between coupon girl and the check writer.

    ReplyDelete
  13. MTGirl12:05 PM

    Me-thinks that Capt went to the grocery store with a (sing it with me now!) haAAnnnggooOOOOoover.

    Nothing like watching the minutes away from frozen pizza goodness and V-8 salvation turn to hours because of non-hungover, chipper soccer moms price shopping for the best deal on skittles to sharpen the ol' tongue.

    (Usually with me it's fat-butted idiots with no business ordering latte's OR being loose in traffic LEISURELY waddling across the street in their sweatpants, proudly holding their Starbucks double ginormous cup like a trophy while self-righteously glaring at those of us who would dare to use a paved road to DRIVE ON. Yeah, that's what you need fata**, a 3,000 calorie cup of COFFEE!)

    ReplyDelete