It was one of those things that I couldn't remember and it was going to drive me nuts until I did.
"Man de La Mancha?"
No that wasn't it.
"His squire Pablo????"
No that wasn't it either.
I got on the Wiki, finally looked it up, DON QUIXOTE. The slightly off psychologically hero of the book "Don Quixote."
The reason I was having trouble remembering it was because I drove past a statue of Don Quixote and his squire, Sancho, over in Richfield. I was trying to explain to Natasha who they were, but could not remember their names.
However, it also reminded me of an experience from many years ago, that I thought was worthy of sharing with the younger male lieutenants of capitalism.
My memory is a bit sketchy, but I was at a restaurant or bar somewhere in Uptown. I was by myself, probably at either the beginning of a 3rd or end of a 2nd shift. My waitress was cute and had a slightly darker complexion than the average Minnesotan and upon conversation I found out she was Spanish, her parents both moving here from Spain before she was born. She also was a single mother, having a boy around the age of 10, at which point in time I saw my opening (as I was still engaging in the art of pursuing women).
Thinking I was charming and witty I said, "Your son ever read Don Quixote?"
She said, "What?"
"Don Quixote."
"What's that?" she said.
I said, "Don Quixote? The most famous book written by a Spaniard? They made a movie, Man de La Mancha about it? The guy who attacks windmills and is followed around by his short fat squire?"
She just gave me a bewildered look.
So your young Captain, thinking he's going to be a sharp sly dog, goes out the next day to buy a used copy of Don Quixote. I jot my number down on a piece of paper, put it inside the book, and drop the book off for the girl at the bar.
Never heard from her again.
Now, let's put on our economic thinking caps and and answer the following questions;
1. What was the first mistake the Captain made and what was the sign that should have told him not to make it?
2. How does this story explain the concept of opportunity cost?
Answers will be graded on being correct and concise. Not how long they are.
1. She was a single mom.
ReplyDelete2. You wasted your time and money on a gesture that would have been appropriate if women had any class, but instead would have been better spent on, I don't know, Point Lookout for Fallout 3 or something.
#1, First time you meet a chick, you dont need to get into in depth conversations about their kid, unless there's prior context. That she didnt know who Don was...was simply indicative that popular over here isnt necessarily popular over there. It made me think of the meaning of life... "What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate."
ReplyDelete"Yes. Good. Nibbling the earlobe, uhh, kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So, we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris, Watson."
Opportunity cost - simply, the rewards are not guaranteed ;)
1. You wrongly assumed the girl would have any interest in you.
ReplyDelete2. Never spend money on a girl unless you're certain to close the deal.
First mistake- hitting on a waitress.
ReplyDeleteSecond mistake- the 10 year old son confirms what the job choice of "waitress" should have told you- that she's not the brightest, motivated sort.
OTOH, at least she had assimilated well.
Cool story bro
ReplyDelete"Pablo"? Unless I'm misremembering Cervantez, Don Quixote's sidekick was "Sancho Panza".
ReplyDeleteMr Ream is the closest.
ReplyDelete#1 had multiple correct answers. Single mom one of them. But also assuming a high enough level of intellect of the waitress to appreciate the classic aspect of Don Quixote, not to mention the ethnic aspect, is a second one. The third more philosophical one was that I was trying. Never try young Cappy Capites. Let it happen naturally.
#2 - The lost time and money could have been spent on something else, Mr. Ream suggesting video games. This would be correct had my foregone wage been high enough at the time, but even at $9 an hour, two hours wasting my time trying to be charming and the 5 or 10 dollars I spent on it, could have made a hefty down payment on a video game.
Lesson to learn young Cappy Capites - the beta for investing your time pursuing 20 something women is about 912.7. You'd be better off statistically and mathematically spending your time at the roulette table or pursuing a masters degree in a STEM field.
Sorry, I don't ever pretend to understand women.
ReplyDeleteI bought Don Quixote, read a few chapters, and it sat on my nightstand for two years. I could have read it by osmosis if I had used it as a pillow.
"They Might Be Giants" got their name from the book. Learned that on Jeopardy.
Where do I start:
ReplyDelete1. You were TRYING to make conversation with a woman. "Leave em alone and they'll come home wagging their tails behind them."
2. You were attempting a hookup in a BAR.
3. You were attempting a hookup with a BAR MAID who a) was working, b) gets hit on all the time, c) can choose any man in the bar she wants, d) probably isn't worth dating if she's a bar maid (although as a single mom that's good money)
4. You continued a hook up attempt after figuring out she was a single mom
5. You gave a bar maid credit for too much intelligence. How many American bar maids have read Leaves of Grass?
The opportunity cost of attempting to impress her was:
1. The opportunity to ignore her
2. The chance to come up with a solution for Middle East peace through a thought-provoking bottle of gin
3. The cost of making her realize what an idiot she really is. Were you going to have sex with her or her library?
What would Spike Spiegel have done?
Keep in mind fellow Cappy Cap readers, your Captain was literally about 23 at this time. Spike Spiegel hadn't even been invented yet.
ReplyDeleteNow, to recover this situation, the next time Don Quixote is performed anywhere near the Twin Cities, take Natasha on a nice date.
ReplyDeleteSome things cannot be explained, they must be experienced - Don Quixote is one of those things.
Live and learn. We were all 23 once.
ReplyDeleteSome of us were 23 multiple times. :)
Spike is not an origin, waypoint, or destination. Spike is a journey.
Spike lives!
I'm more quixotic.
"Never try young Cappy Capites. Let it happen naturally."
ReplyDeleteCorrect.
I'm going to go at this from a different point of view. Women get hit on. Each attempt takes time and resources, which implies an inherent opportunity cost borne by the woman. Her time and resources could be spent doing something else. The more frequent the attempts, the greater the need for an efficient method to filter out the undesirables. By the sounds of it, this is the category she lumped you into.
ReplyDeleteYour first mistake, was probably that of trying to carry on a conversation. I am assuming that she thought you were trying to pick her up. This was a course that you probably did not have the skill to navigate at the time. Instead, you probably should have kept it short and strategic. Get in, get a name/number and get out. Instead, you got sucked into a quagmire, hit too many mines/traps and lost.
1. Single mom with 10-year old.
ReplyDelete2. Opportunity cost was cost of book, and time spent on her AFTER you found out #1 above.
I'm disappointed that you neglected the obvious symbolism of Don Quixote: you were tilting at windmills just by trying.
ReplyDelete