Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I Shall Name My Child "Thor"

Honest to $#*&%#(* Christ.

You just can't make it up.

ht

From a reader who picked something I skimmed over.



Honest to )(#@$#&)(*#$@___#@#$&#$# Christ. "lactation consultant?"

Notice the hyphenated name.

I'm outta here.

Enjoy the decline.

11 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:47 AM

    Better yet:

    "Christian" then you get to mess with more people. And if you call him Chris we cut off your testicles, with a dull spoon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I went through my Officer Basic Course with a guy named Thor.

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  3. There's also Remington, Smith, Wesson, and Colt if you want to really rub it in.

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  4. Why doesn't that surprise me colonel?

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  5. %$#^&ing lactation consultant????

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  6. Ryan Fuller3:40 PM

    Since when is "Alexander" not a masculine name? For all their limp-wristed bitching about the pressure of traditional gender roles, you'd think naming your kid after the guy who conquered everything from Greece to India would at least count as "masculine".

    Wankers.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm thinking the name Tancred should come back into style.

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  8. Anonymous7:39 PM

    As for that Pamela R Satran, I wouldn't hit her with a five pound sledge hammer. Just hurts the eyes.

    Men - insist on naming your male progeny. Tough, manly names.

    And if you coach young men in athletic endeavors who have been given "prissy" names, give them some solid nick names like "Rock" or "Hammer" or "Thunder" to counter their sissified real names.

    This must stop.

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  9. Anonymous10:58 AM

    Isn't lactation something that, you know, just happens? Why would you need a consultant?

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  10. A "lactation consultant" **is** a real job. One helped my wife. VERY FEW women in the U.S. breast-feed because it's too much work, believe it or not. Thousands of years ago, women had fewer distractions, so they could concentrate of breast feeding. Not to be an enviro-weenie, but breast milk was made expressly (by our Creator) for feeding human babies. Many moms DO have a hard time breast-feeding and a L.C. can help! I don't recall exactly, but I think the cost was either covered by insurance or very low.

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  11. DC, I don't dispute the merits of breast feeding, but given humans have been doing this for thousands of years, was a consultant even necessary? I can't picture your wife not being able to figure it out on her own. Of course I speak from ignorance, but just on the face of it, it seems outlandish. It's like having a consultant in breathing.

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