This girl was madly in love with me, and I say that not because I'm trying to brag, but because it's true. She was in love with me.
However, she could not reconcile her Christian beliefs with what I viewed to be a wonderful life.
My "wonderful life" I made quite clear was my future wife and I sitting on a beach, her in a french maid outfit, serving me a martini sans children gallivanting around Europe in a convertible eating at the finest restaurants and dancing in the Italian and French Rivieras.
Of course, she contested the french maid outfit thing and said and I quote, "And your views of the perfect marriage. Me just dressing up in a sultry lingerie outfit while you sit there and drink ALCOHOL! I can't think of anything more degrading."
Naturally it didn't go anywhere and she is currently engaged to what I am reliably informed to be a pansified beta male who is a "good church going Christian."
Now, lessons aside from the importance that women start to learn and acknowledge male sexuality for what it is, if they ever do decide they really want to have a serious chance at a happy marriage, the lesson to learn here is how to use Frederick's of Hollywood to your advantage men.
In short, Fredericks of Hollywood is an OUTSTANDING way to test whether a girl is worth dating or not. Understand women who like to dress up in lingerie, dress sexy, wear whatever outfits are SUPREMELY more confident in themselves and are more stable than women who view it as some kind of torture or servitude and whine and complain about it, OR use it as a means to extract resources out of you. The woman who just wants to dress up in lingerie for her own benefit, OUTSTANDING. The woman who wants to wear sexy lingerie to make you happy, OUTSTANDING EVEN MORE! You will find those women who are "pro-lingerie" are the ones you want to date (obviously), but not just for sexual reasons, but because of mental and maturity reasons.
There is however one problem with the Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie thing. You need to actually be reasonably sexy to pull it off.
Somebody tell the patrons of Frederick's of Hollywood that:
Fredericks is for people who think that clothing can make people sexier, when what really matters is attitude. And they're a minority. Which is why Fredericks is tanking (also because Victoria's Secret, with the might of The Limited empire behind them, is eating Fredericks' lunch).
ReplyDeleteYeah, but they need to wear FofH lingerie. You know - to procreate.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure that line isn't to get into Wall Mart? Or perhaps that store is located in New Jersey.
ReplyDeleteA fat chick can pull off a Frederick's thing if (1) she's got a really good face; (2) she's proportional fat, not a 300 pound walking pear; (3) she's got a good attitude; and, (4) she's just fat, not obese. In other words, if she's basically reasonably attractive, personality & attitude goes a very, very long way.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, there are plenty of thin women with a good bone structure who look ugly as hell in lingerie, or any other kind of clothing. Check out the jaded look & mercenary eyes on porn stars & strippers, or just worn out party girls, and you'll see what I mean. Bill Simmons says that porn stars age in dog years, and has come up with a couple other metrics, that nicely summarize the effect.
BTW, Captain, no man should marry a woman who is revolted by his intent to have a glass of wine, sex her up, and live the good life. Nothing in the Good Book directs us to be unhappy, in fact there are directives to be fruitful and multiply, to drink a little wine (nothing about getting hammered on Rumpleminze there, unfortunately), and to be glad in our hearts. That gal who you weren't good enough for, is a gal dealing with guilt problems, and a serious misunderstandning of Christian theology.
Now imagine the parties in Galilee if Jesus turned the water into Rumpleminze!
ReplyDeleteBe some damn fine swinging parties!
Water into Rumpleminze? Well, that'd explain why there's constant fighting going on in the Middle East...
ReplyDeleteCap'n,
ReplyDeleteWhat's the old saying? "Everyone has the right to be ugly, but some people abuse the privilege!"
To bad you couldn't remind your long lost Christian Miss of 1 Timothy 5:23:
"Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities."
Tell her you were really sick and needed your medicine.
It would have been moot. She was using religion and all the various sayings of the bible to basically wield power over me and keep it a master/slave relationship. ie-she didn't believe a word of it, but boy, does Christianity (as well as other religions) provide you the moral authority to tell others what to do.
ReplyDeleteHmpfff.
ReplyDeleteI will disagree. Women are sensitive about the way they look. We know they are genetically hard wired that way, that is why they have problems with anorexia and self image. Your girl was probably covering up a secret fear that the sight of her in an outfit like that would turn you off. You are right that it is entirely a confidence issue. Could it be you pushed her too fast Captain?
Life has to be good in the sack - AND out of it too.
Sexy is in the eye of the beholder.
ReplyDeleteHave never dated, nor been with a woman that was a perfect specimen of womanhood, but there is one feature that I insist on. Self confidence.
Which is a bigger turn off:
some cellulite, or a little bit of a bulge sticking out of the top of a stocking
-or-
a woman that is embarrassed by her own self body image to the point she refuses to allow you to see her naked.
Yeah, maybe every woman in that line is not exactly a looker, but they at least have the self confidence to be happy with what they got.
Bet their men like it that way as well.
"And your views of the perfect marriage. Me just dressing up in a sultry lingerie outfit while you sit there and drink ALCOHOL! I can't think of anything more degrading."
ReplyDeleteNot much imagination on this one.
"Could it be you pushed her too fast Captain?"
ReplyDeleteYes, obviously he could've moved on to a cheap slut instead. Instead of forcing a women substance to do something that she didn't want. Plus there are plenty alpha male Christians.
Fredericks is for disgusting feminists! What a lousy comparison.
ReplyDelete