I was made aware of this at quite an early age. I'd say I was about 18 or 19 when I noticed if I approach a girl with a very innocent, non-romantic intention (say to find out where the book store was) her reaction (body language, eyes, posture, etc) indicated to me she thought I was hitting on her. It dawned on me that ANY attention I would pay to girls (whether it had sexual/romantic aims or not) would be viewed as sexual/romantic attention. This made it impossible to have a "normal" interaction with girls because they would always assume you were hitting on them, when frankly, you just wanted to know where the can was.
There are, of course, economic consequences to the young ladies of today misinterpreting "texting" or "likes" as attention instead of just mere socializing or neutral interaction. An "attention bubble" or an overvaluation of ones market value. And just as easy credit monetary policies of countries throughout the world led to a housing bubble, these new media (texting, facebook, etc.) are doing the same thing, flooding the market with "attention" and driving young ladies' ego's sky high.
The bubble, though, forms in the misreading of the "market pricing mechanism" or "market price signals." When "Joey" texts "Sally" and says;
"Hey, what time was our professor starting the lab?"
What Joey is really saying is
"Hey, what time was our professor starting the lab?"
Sally, however, misreads this price signal to read;
"OMG! Joey is SOOOOOO in love with me! Just like all the other guys who keep texting me. I am so hot! Joey is such a coward though, acting like he cares about what time the lab starts. He's obviously just using that as a ploy to talk to me."
This overvaluation of oneself can be represented quite simply by a classical supply and demand chart from Economics 101.
The "supply" of "Sallys" is represented by the green line and marked with an S.
The ACTUAL DEMAND for Sally is denoted with the blue line and marked with an "AD" (actual demand).
But, because of the new forms of media and communications, and the fact Sally takes the absolute value of ANY communication as proof positive a guy is hitting on her, she overestimates demand. This exaggerated demand is marked by the red line, labeled "TD" (text demand).
The results are what any good economists knows. The REAL price people are willing to "pay" for Sally is represented at P1. But because Sally is arrogant enough to think she's all that and a bag of chips (some 1990's jargon there for you kids), she perceives her market value at P2, much higher than the real price. This disparity leads to many suitable suitors pursuing Sally, but Sally turning them down because she has been led to believe she can do better.
In short, this chart is merely the graphical representation of "stuckupedness" teen and college-age men face in the courting battlefield in the western world. But don't worry, that TD line does inevitably shift to the left.
I, out of intellectual curiosity, would love to see any manosphere economists attempt to explain why.
Was following you right up to this point:
ReplyDelete"OMG! Joey is SOOOOOO in love with me! Just like all the other guys who keep texting me. I am so hot! Joey is such a coward though, acting like he cares about what time the lab starts. He's obviously just using that as a ploy to talk to me."
That happens only if Sally is interested in Joey in a romantic/sexual manner. On the other hand, if Sally has no thoughts along those lines, her response will probably be:
"OMG! Joey is SUCH a stalker. Just like all the other guys who keep texting me. I am so much more then just a hot piece of meat! Joey is such a creep, acting like he cares about what time the lab starts. He's obviously just using that as a ploy to talk to me."
The artificial inflation of the attention quotient is correct though, regardless of whether Sally sees Joey as a potential partner, or as a stalker. Either way, she will use that as proof she is "all that."
Duly noted and agreed. I do recall precisely not approaching or interacting with girls in fear I would be deemed a stalker.
ReplyDeleteYou can shift the Sally curve left (and P2 downward) using subtle signals, or not so subtle ones, that she's not that hot.
ReplyDeleteYes! Attack her self-esteem. For a normal guy, it means puncturing the bubble. That zone beneath the demand curve, bounded by P1 and P2, is her Hamster's livingroom. If you can shrink that, P1 and P2 will achieve equilibrium. That's right, supply will meet demand and you will go out on a date.
The secret of why douchebags date hot chicks is that they tend to be pretty good and shifting her P2 somewhere to the left of their P1.
My opinion is, there is no "attention bubble". There has been significant increase in attention but together with it there has been steep increase in factual polygyny (serial monogamy: old men young women, single motherhood). It means more real attention in fertile women.
ReplyDeleteThe TD line shift to the left is a function of the # of cats Sally owns...
ReplyDeleteI was made aware of this at quite an early age. I'd say I was about 18 or 19 when I noticed if I approach a girl with a very innocent, non-romantic intention (say to find out where the book store was) her reaction (body language, eyes, posture, etc) indicated to me she thought I was hitting on her. It dawned on me that ANY attention I would pay to girls (whether it had sexual/romantic aims or not) would be viewed as sexual/romantic attention. This made it impossible to have a "normal" interaction with girls because they would always assume you were hitting on them, when frankly, you just wanted to know where the can was.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I've know for years and never have been able to articulate.
It's a key reason I'm often uncomfortable interacting with women.
@CBMTTek: Key point, and actually the better explanation of why I avoid interacting with women...
ReplyDeleteMr Harvey is the closest so far. But I am not looking for correlation, I am looking for the causation that will invariably shift that line to the left.
ReplyDeleteIt is duly noted in the short run the line can be moved by "negging shocks" where bad boys destroy Sally's self esteem, but there is a long run factor also involved that will permanently move it to the left.
...but there is a long run factor also involved that will permanently move it to the left.
ReplyDeleteAs AD declines, the hamster is forced to trade strength for stamina.
Why don't you just say it. The woman gets older, her real value drops, and eventually her perception of her own value drops.
ReplyDeleteFSK scores it!
ReplyDeleteThough, many will debate whether they actually realize this fully before AD drops even further.
There is a cats/Prozac/tequila-from-the-bottle/handful-of-Oxyl point, P3, which is considerably to the right of P1, but generally not that far to the left of P2.
ReplyDeleteCase in point, Elizabeth Wurtzel.
I am astounded at the independence she shows from her hamster, at least until she starts wondering about the motivations of her younger lovers. Most women never become as self-aware as Ms. Wurtzel.