Jennifer Aniston Economics

As I have gotten older, done more and more research and honed my "Super Awesome Economic Genius (TM)," I have learned that we folks of the capitalist, liberty, free-market stripe are not so much battling a legitimate counter theory to our free-market economics, as much as we are a spectacular level of ignorance.  So spectacular that I wouldn't even call it "ignorance" as I believe it really is more of a mental disorder ("delusional" is what I believe psychologists call it).

Of course I am miffed in that I foolishly credited my ideological opponents with having intelligence, veracity, intellectual honesty and a desire to seek what is best for mankind.  Miffed, not because they turned out to be nothing but self-serving spoiled brats with no interest in searching for the truth, but miffed because I wasted so much time trying to engage them on an intellectually honest and mature adult level.  Literally thousands of hours wasted compiling chart after chart, pulling up data, crunching numbers, all the while thinking,

"Ah, this will prove my point and convince them!  And soon they will vote based on fact, empirical data and what's best for the country.  And soon our country will reap the benefits of an informed and educated population and we'll achieve new heights and income per capitas of $100,000."

But now that I've been proven to have overestimated the honor and integrity of my ideological opponents, there's just one thing left to do.

Mock them.

Of course they make this laughably easy in that they exhibit their delusion daily, refusing to live in the real world.  And I know that in violating The Reality Principle they are merely setting themselves up for an even harder crash in the future, but it's still fun to make fun of them while they're accelerating their lives into an inevitable brick wall.  But their behavior is so delusional it almost warrants it's own subsegment of economic study.  And so with this let me introduce a new concept:

"Jennifer Aniston Economics."

As you know the Captain has a soft spot for Jennifer Aniston.  If  she were to show up at my doorstep in a drunken stupor, I suppose I would do the good, correct and right thing all preacher's kids do and help the poor girl out.  She would make lewd advances at me and I would have to refuse those advances because it would be inappropriate.  She would no doubt recognize who I am and say,

"Say, aren't you Cappy Cap?  World famous economist, ballroom dancer, motorcycle rider, author and fossil hunter extraordinaire?  Please, let me don this french maid outfit I conveniently have in my car!"

And again, because of my pure and virtuous nature, I would have to refuse her wanton advances.

But that is the point right there about "Jennifer Aniston Economics."

I'm delusional.

Never mind the chances of Jennifer Aniston showing up at my apartment in an inebriated state is unlikely.  And never mind she has no clue who I am (despite my world-renown Super Economic Economic Genius (TM)).  I'm not going to let FACT or REALITY get in the way of what I want to  believe.  That is the epitome of "Jennifer Aniston Economics" and a trait that is the hallmark of every liberal and socialist in the world.  And so permit me a little case study in "Jennifer Aniston Economics" that prompted me to write this little post. 

I saw this article about people voting in the "anti-austerity" party or "voting bloc."  And it really drove the point home to me not only how delusional people were about the fiscal REALITIES of their countries, but how pervasive and widespread this mental sickness is.  In France the majority of voters spoke and opted to pursue a delusional, impossible reality.  In Italy and Greece people are starting to rally against the "austerity parties."  But whichever country and whichever the case, you have to realize the sheer insanity and sickness these people have.  Voting against the "austerity parties" is like voting against "gravity" or "air" or "Newtonian physics."  It's REALITY.  There's nothing you can do about it.

For example, I could show this chart to every idiotic moron in France, Italy and Greece who thinks the party can continue on;

and they'll all ignore it, no doubt calling me names in the process.

So that leaves us with only one option.  Let's test our Junior, Deputy, Aspiring, Renegade, Official or Otherwise Economist skills, shall we?

Do we:

a)  vote for more government spending
b)  pray to the gods that Jennifer Aniston shows up at the Captain's house in an impaired state
c)  work harder to pay more in taxes
d)  enjoy the decline
e) b and d