To quote Westboro Baptist Church: Spinsters Cry, God Laughs.
My older sister is going through this. She used to be quite attractive (objective terms, of course, I mean this is my sister) and had plenty of great guys who were willing to crawl over broken glass for her. Did she capitalize on her good fortune and marry an attractive, stable, faithful, mid-high income guy that would have brought her joy throughout her life? Bahaha, of course not.
No, she spent her 20s farting around and finding herself while pursuing one dopamine high love affair after the next. She went from dating this very good-looking and sociable rocket scientist (who she should have married 8 or 9 years ago) to dating a senior VP of a large company who was loaded, but extremely grounded and decent in spite of it, to getting knocked up by a POTTER and then dating a few 'meh' guys since then. She even had re-do offers from both of the former guys when she was in her late 20s with a kid and still ditched 'em both. As soon as she realizes a guy isn't absolutely perfect (the first two were a little beta, but not horrendously so), she walks.
Now, at 31, I think it's finally hit her that she's not as attractive as she once was and she's getting pretty close to her last shot at finding a decent husband. After watching her piss on so many great guys, I'm not sure she deserves this opportunity to correct her mistakes.
Remember, kids: Never feel sorry for spinsters, because for every 30-something woman crying her eyes out for fear of being alone and childless, there's usually a string of decent men who would have made good and loyal husbands that she blew off to follow her vagina. There a few that genuinely have shit luck (born with deformities or just beat over the head with an ugly stick) who deserve your pity, but most of them deserve what they got.
One minor complaint, it took 31 about two or three "I'm ALL ALONE"s for me to get what she was saying. So, I watched it again, and it got even funnier.
Just goes to show you there is nothing like experience to teach you the folly of youth.
Might explain why my grandmother was "29" for every single birthday she had -- starting before I was born and continuing until she died when I was 42. She pretty much kept the "right" attitude too.
Absent a "bad" attitude, 31 is certainly *not* going to have trouble "finding a man".
That just about made my day. Now I hope 31 doesn't really have problems finding a man. I find that thoroughly hard to believe.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious. For the record, the brunette looks like she was a borderline Downs baby, but the blond is plenty tasty.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. I'm going to rip this one off and put it up at UMan.
Those two are frikkin' hilarious -- I've been following them for awhile now. I recommend "Weed Card" and "This Party Took a Turn for the Douche"
ReplyDeleteAnd Prof Mentu: I dunno, the dark-haired one is kinda cute too.
That was funny! And 31 was hot!
ReplyDeleteTo quote Westboro Baptist Church:
ReplyDeleteSpinsters Cry, God Laughs.
My older sister is going through this. She used to be quite attractive (objective terms, of course, I mean this is my sister) and had plenty of great guys who were willing to crawl over broken glass for her. Did she capitalize on her good fortune and marry an attractive, stable, faithful, mid-high income guy that would have brought her joy throughout her life? Bahaha, of course not.
No, she spent her 20s farting around and finding herself while pursuing one dopamine high love affair after the next. She went from dating this very good-looking and sociable rocket scientist (who she should have married 8 or 9 years ago) to dating a senior VP of a large company who was loaded, but extremely grounded and decent in spite of it, to getting knocked up by a POTTER and then dating a few 'meh' guys since then. She even had re-do offers from both of the former guys when she was in her late 20s with a kid and still ditched 'em both. As soon as she realizes a guy isn't absolutely perfect (the first two were a little beta, but not horrendously so), she walks.
Now, at 31, I think it's finally hit her that she's not as attractive as she once was and she's getting pretty close to her last shot at finding a decent husband. After watching her piss on so many great guys, I'm not sure she deserves this opportunity to correct her mistakes.
Remember, kids: Never feel sorry for spinsters, because for every 30-something woman crying her eyes out for fear of being alone and childless, there's usually a string of decent men who would have made good and loyal husbands that she blew off to follow her vagina. There a few that genuinely have shit luck (born with deformities or just beat over the head with an ugly stick) who deserve your pity, but most of them deserve what they got.
Absolutely hilarious.
ReplyDeleteOne minor complaint, it took 31 about two or three "I'm ALL ALONE"s for me to get what she was saying. So, I watched it again, and it got even funnier.
Just goes to show you there is nothing like experience to teach you the folly of youth.
Might explain why my grandmother was "29" for every single birthday she had -- starting before I was born and continuing until she died when I was 42. She pretty much kept the "right" attitude too.
ReplyDeleteAbsent a "bad" attitude, 31 is certainly *not* going to have trouble "finding a man".
Not borderline Downs. Both are cute female nerds -- the best kind of woman.
ReplyDelete