When I ask for "Tabasco Sauce" I want Tabasco Sauce.
I don't want those cheap knock offs you have sitting on the table. "Tapatio," "Chipolte" or that damn sauce that has about as much kick as a quadriplegic slug - "Chalupa."
I want the spicy, hot, vinegar fuming TABASCO. I want no girls to want to kiss me for the next month. I want to sweat while I'm eating. I don't want your "in house sauce" that is about as hot as saw dust.
You're probably one of those parents who buy their kids the knock off brand of Lego's or some other cool toy because "it's the same thing."
NO IT'S NOT!
We want our freaking Tabasco sauce.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
The Entire Population of Earth
Umm, Tapatio isn't a cheap knock-off of Tabasco, it's a completely different sauce.
ReplyDeleteHave to disagree on this one. When I'm eating Mexican food, I'd rather have Tapatio. I prefer Tabasco when I'm eating Cajun food. For everyday flavor and heat, Frank's is the king. For extra kick, Yucatan Sunshine habanero sauce can't be beat.
ReplyDeleteIf you want a kick and you can't get your tabasco, try asking for habanero sauce. If you're not sweating and regretting all night I'll be amazed.
ReplyDeleteOn this, sir, you are WRONG. On Mexican food, Tapatio is far, far superior to Tabasco. Its flavor is more appropriate to the food, and it's every bit as spicy. Tapatio (or its inferior substitutes, Tabasco Chipotle, Tabasco Jalapeno and Cholula)is best on Mexican, American, Italian, and the like. For Asian foods it's Sriracha, hands down. Believe me, you don't want to mix that up.
ReplyDeleteIf you must eat that vinegar bomb Tabasco, use it on American food.
your gonna have to stick with Chipotle...
ReplyDeleteYou're on the hunt for spicy food in Minnesota?
ReplyDeleteWell, good luck to you sir.
Tabasco is "hot"? Huh.
ReplyDeleteThe things I learn on the internets... :D
Captain, you are in North Dakota. I'd surprised if anyone up there even know what hot really means when it comes to sauce.
ReplyDeleteCome to South Texas sometime; you will find what you are looking for. Heck, I like stuff hotter than some Mexican folk do.
Dear Captain,
ReplyDeleteI worked many projects in Mexico, probably a total of 2 years on the ground there. I ate at a variety of restaurants, usually at the very upper end in price and quality.
I only once saw the original brand of Tabasco Sauce at a restaurant, and that was at the bar where it was stocked for Bloody Marys.
The mexican restaurants are not cheaping out, it is just not part of their ingredients. The Mexicans have made hot sauce a lot longer than the factory on Avery Island. There versions are usually longer on flavor and shorter on hot.
I travelled internationally for a living as a consultant for many years. What I learned to do was carry the spices I wanted with me to restaurants i.e. black pepper in Brazil and Tabasco in Canada.
This is a fine example of a common metier of yours: posting something outrageously dumb, and a bit pussified, in the clear belief that in fact you're the guy who has it right. Our dining table rotates quite a number of hot sauces and the ones you mention here are all pretty tame -- but Tapatio and Cholula are both considerably hotter than Tabasco (though still tame). They just are. Now, maybe your weak ass wants Tabasco. Fine. But let's be clear that that's why you want it.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a special kind of fool to think he grasps what isn and isn't hot better than the Mexicans in the kitchen do.
Anon 648,
ReplyDeleteI posted you comment so you can realize you're the only one who does't get that this is a satirical post while the remaining 9 commenters did.
Yes, brilliant. You showed me for the fool I am yet again Holmes.
I love raw oysters with a shot of Tabasco. In regards to oysters smoked or raw, it has to be Tabasco.
ReplyDeleteWings get the Louisiana Hot Sauce treatment.
Mexican food, re-fried beans yuck. Send it back to Mexico.
Tabasco has a chipotle Tabascoo sauce that is magnificent.
ReplyDeleteTapatio is the Mexican Tobasco. Tobasco is NOT hotsauce (this coming from a chili-head). It is cayenne flavored vinegar shake.
ReplyDeleteTobasco is crap! Vinegar ruins great chili-sauces! It's main value is to give a sauce that tang taste, and honestly I don't want to think of Tang the orange drink every time I eat a hot sauce!
Real hot sauce is 100% Red Savina Habanero, dripped onto each bite of a Carne Asada Burrito. The only place I can think of getting my hot sauce is by making it...
Me and a few of my friends swapped all the Tabasco bottles in our college's cafeteria with our own filled with this stuff before the Cinco de Mayo dinner. Hilarity ensued.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.com/Daves-Ghost-Pepper-Jolokia-Sauce/dp/B001PQTYN2
Wow, a true rant. I am a snob. I put Tabasco on eggs, and on burgers and on oysters. But I use Franks Hot Sauce on Pizza, and on chicken and wings. I put Cholula on my Queso burrito with Roja sauca.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you need to be like my wife and carry some supplies in with you?
Stop being Tabasco's bitch and take your El Yucateco habanero sauce like a man.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess what you're really asking is for some really good Mexican hot sauces? I'm fond of the El Yucateco XXXtra hot Kutbil-Ik Habanero sauce. It's really hot, but still has a good flavor.
ReplyDeleteI've got nothing against Tabasco, but Cholula blows it away. Tapatio is pretty good too.
ReplyDeleteWhen I ask for hot sauce and get Tabasco by default, I'm pretty disappointed. But Tabasco is better than nothing.
Sriracha is what all the Asians use. It's good stuff.
Tabasco has its' place, but have you ever tried Pico Pica? None better. I presume we are limiting the discussion to the common table sauces, and not going off into the realm of competitive Scovilling.
ReplyDeleteMike James