Wow.
This takes the cake.
Men who are 35+ and have never married are now considered to have some kind of psychological problem and are "losers."
No, no, it couldn't be the quality and caliber of women in this country is so low men are either postponing it, outsourcing it or abandoning it all together. No, can't possibly be that, because, well, that would put the blame SQUARELY where it belongs.
My god the legs on the rationalization hamster must be huge from all that spinning.
I wonder about the idea of divorce theft though Captain. Back in the day when a couple split, she went to the bank and he went to the poor house.
ReplyDeleteIt still happens...but I am seeing alot of cases where they divy up EVERYTHING 50/50 and neither partner gets special treatment.
Are you seeing any of that on your radar at all?
Dr. Helen is agreeing that shaming men into marrying will not work.
ReplyDeleteYup - and genius-level IQ children have a "learning disability". I suppose dealing with reality rather than retreating into mass delusion can equally be called a mental disorder, technically speaking.
ReplyDeleteIts a sign of a "mental illness" if a person has not experimented with drugs as a youth too.
ReplyDeleteI think the words used are "not a fully formed personality" "stunted emotional development." Bullshit of that kind.
Psychology: Is a female point of view field. People talk about lawyers being parasites . . .
The masculine side of it: behavioral psychology is generally derided, and its philosophy was "I don't care what you think or feel, its what you do that matters"
Which when you think of it, says it all.
I hear that from the 35+ age group. I've had younger ones 26 or so ask if I wanted a family, and lot of other things along the lines of seeing if there is a way for them to get into a LTR, but since I usually date women much younger (18-25) they aren't interested in more than a roll in the hay with a guy my age - and that is fine by me, since that's why I stick to the young stuff. Easier to hit with no long term complications.
ReplyDeleteNow, ramp her up to 35+ and you'll get that question a lot since they are hearing that biological gong, and looking for a sucker - oh, sorry... Husband... And if you haven't been a sucker once, they figure you won't be one for them - that's why they want to know fast - they figure they don't have another 28 days to waste, unless it's going to lead to marriage and a kid that you'll be paying for.
But when they are in that 26-30 age group, you start getting the questions about if you "ever wanted to start a family." Not quite so desperate - but tentatively starting to figure her days being hot are numbered, and looking for a "soft landing"...
When women are in the 31-35 they are still trying to come to terms with the fact that their options are slamming shut - as they see the number of dates dropping, so you start hearing that air of desperation creeping into their questions, and they are always asking if you're looking for something long term, and if you want a family. Every month, they see another egg bite the dust, and they start getting images of being "the crazy cat lady"...
So when they hit 35+, and hear that at 37 they have 50% the chance of getting pregnant they did at 20 - which was only 10% per month then, and every year it drops by another 3-5%, they start getting desperate, since they know 40 is coming up fast, and they aren't finding any single guys their age interested in them, because the ones that there are, like me - are all going for the younger stuff... :)
Some PUAs recommend wearing a wedding band in various game scenarios.
ReplyDeleteIt's also not a bad idea for employment and professional social situations. Just wear it as a prop, and let people make their own assumptions. If asked directly, and you don't want to lie, simply say you're not married, and if they press for details or why you (still) wear a ring, politely decline by saying it's not a situation you like to talk about.
I was working quietly nearby when my employer was asked by his teenage daughter (who was doing odd-job office tasks for her allowance) why anyone would want to sign on for a low-paying temp job at the company. He replied that there's plenty of guys with family costs and bills to pay desperate for even the pittance they were offering.
He's not a particularly evil or stingy boss, but employers love men who are captive and restricted. Men who can't afford to miss a day of work because the wife spent the paycheque a week early. Men who are divorced and have alimony and child support payments to make. Men who don't have 3 days of living expenses saved, let alone the classically recommended 3 months. Men who can't quit until they can somehow line up another job of equal or better pay to immediately jump to, because they'll be destitute after a week of job hunting.
That ring on your finger sends signals to women, but it also sends signals to employers. At best it says 'stable, mature, serious'. If your employer is a bit of a saint, he might even pay you a higher salary because you've got a family to feed, as opposed to being a 20 or 30-something slacker (nevermind your skill and productivity on the job) who can live like a king on minimum wage anyway. If nothing else, it gives trad cons and religious types happy tingles about you (even if you claim you're divorced). At worst it might as well be slave collar around your neck, that says you're already financially indentured, broken and tamed, so what's one more master?
If a flaunting a little piece of bling on your finger is all it takes to make you a success in the eyes of society, fuck 'em, the joke is on them. Just think of it as a piece of the dress code, like wearing a tie.
I'm a 35 year old man, unmarried without children and I literally have the energy level of a teenaged boy. Bachelorhood is life extension therapy.
ReplyDeleteMen should forget the legacy of child rearing and replace it with the legacy of technological and cultural acheivments. Our children won't go down in history, but our works will.
So which do employers really want:
ReplyDelete1) A married man, suggesting stability, social compliance, with a hint of desperation...
or
2) A single man, suggesting flexibility (is willing to work in middle of night), and devotion to job instead of wife...
I honest-to-God do not have an answer.