Hey Aaron, loved the video and agree with a lot of it. I'm sure you've prepared yourself for the inevitable push back of your comments about psychology so I won't disappoint you now. ;)
Being one who has spent probably 75% of my career working with seriously mentally ill people, I've moved from "psychology is complete crap" to understanding that psychology is an extremely important field of study.
I had to do something to a terribly mentally ill patient that he didn't want me to to do him. Had to visit him in a lock down unit where he was spending the rest of his life. He was otherwise a very normal looking man. To look at him you would think he was just fine. Well, aside from the fact that he spent all his waking hours writing in barely readable tiny handwriting, long screeds in a book that was thousands of pages long. The pages were filled completely from top to bottom, left to right margins, with the thoughts of an extremely disturbed man written over and over again. He came to trust me enough to allow me to read some of it.
Something right out of a nightmare is all I can say.
He wasn't suicidal, but he was homicidal. He was a danger to others. Its because of the practice of psychology that he was able to live without killing anyone, and for the most part docile. Talk therapy never helped him. Never. It was all due to the drugs.
Psychology and psychiatry isn't just about sad or depressed people who need to talk to someone. The meat of the field is how one needs to learn how to understand and treat severe mental illnesses. There aren't a lot of people who are able to work with these kinds of people for long stretches of time.
I would like to invite you to spend 15 minutes in a lock down psych unit. Come back and let me know if your opinion of psychiatry has changed any. ;)
I supplied no-fee counseling from my home between 1984 and 1993, to divorced fathers. I spent around 20 hours a week at it. I soon learned that virtually 100% of divorced fathers at least contemplated suicide.
So, anyone who called me got suicide counseling whether he wanted it or not. If he didn't want it, he should not have dialed my phone, heh, heh.
You implied a common base for suicide involves money problems. Yet, over the years I have read that the suicide rate is highest for divorced men.
I only know about divorce related suicide. All you need to do is: 1. Get them laughing. We all have our talents, and that is one of mine.
2. Help them get a good night's sleep. Few well rested men whack themselves. When they can't sleep go for a long walk, I mean half the night, rather than lying there thinking dark thoughts. Exercise is a better cure for depression than SSRI's and doesn't make you fat.
3. Help them get a plan for the future.
Some of the other things you said were right on. For example, I used to tell them to GTHO. Anywhere, but preferably someplace that doesn't speak English. Just as you said it can't be as bad as being dead.
I've never attempted suicide, but, as someone who has copies of 'Emotional Resilience' and 'healing anger' ,I know what it's like to be angry, frustrated, and depressed in life.
In short-term tough times, I put on what I call the 'Cocaine Blues' attitude to get through blues:
"oh yes, oh yes my name is Willy Lee...If you've got a warrant just a-read it to me". Basically, I am a little more gruff and grumbly and get shit done.. because, 'what are they gonna do?shoot me?"
I once had a near breakdown from stress from graduate school. It built up so badly that I was nearly catatonic and immobilized one day. I sat at a park bench in front of a river and just watched the ripples mindlessly.. for nearly two hours. I ended up taking a summer off, drinking hard, and getting laid a lot. I eventually settled back in and finished strong.
In the past year, I've had such enormous financial stress that I got to the point where I just stopped caring. I just moved in with family to drop expenses to nearly nothing, start seeing friends and family, and after some of this 'healing', I am finding my way out of the hole (slowly).
By the way, I have to admit, the jewelry heist comment had me laughing out loud...but who am I to judge. my fall back plan in life is to leave all my debt and stress and live in some rural hut somewhere in Africa or Asia and basically just live off the land.
As far as I can see when you're down and out mentally, you gotta find what makes you happy... and hopefully hang on to that source of happiness when you get out of the rut.
great video, but i can see the potential for rationalization abuse there.
in my mind, life is about 2 things. mission and experience. if you are incapable (truly incapable, as in paraplegic incapable) of formulating and executing a mission, whatever it may be, AND if your experience is painful (torture, every bone in your body is shattered and no doctor on earth can fix it but you somehow are still alive) only THEN can i see suicide being an option.
people make their choices and only they know why and how and all that. i will never understand any motivation for suicide. i even look at it as a weak act, but i still get that its a very personal choice.
my buddy hanged himself. he was an avid cyclist, and prepared and planned on riding a touring bicycle across the country. it wasnt just an idea, he was putting it together in reality. but he was also a drinker. and one day he had had a real rough week, got drunk as a response to the stress, and made one bad drunken decision. i am convinced that had he been sober or passed out drunk he would be alive today. a lot of times suicide is a rash decision made in haste and no bucket list is going to stop it from happening.
quite an interesting perspective, "life is existence".
of course, i'm one of those delusional christians; so i have a competing agenda with yours; but i have seen enough good things happen to bad people to know that no one is immune from bad days, bad years or troubled lives.
imo, the life should always be good is very usa/western civ. south america, russia and the far east have a lot more acceptance to live the life as it comes.
9:33 sounds like someone who went to law school - huge stress from "graduate" school and huge financial stress as the realization sets in that law school is a complete and utter waste of time.
Hey Aaron, loved the video and agree with a lot of it. I'm sure you've prepared yourself for the inevitable push back of your comments about psychology so I won't disappoint you now. ;)
ReplyDeleteBeing one who has spent probably 75% of my career working with seriously mentally ill people, I've moved from "psychology is complete crap" to understanding that psychology is an extremely important field of study.
I had to do something to a terribly mentally ill patient that he didn't want me to to do him. Had to visit him in a lock down unit where he was spending the rest of his life. He was otherwise a very normal looking man. To look at him you would think he was just fine. Well, aside from the fact that he spent all his waking hours writing in barely readable tiny handwriting, long screeds in a book that was thousands of pages long. The pages were filled completely from top to bottom, left to right margins, with the thoughts of an extremely disturbed man written over and over again. He came to trust me enough to allow me to read some of it.
Something right out of a nightmare is all I can say.
He wasn't suicidal, but he was homicidal. He was a danger to others. Its because of the practice of psychology that he was able to live without killing anyone, and for the most part docile. Talk therapy never helped him. Never. It was all due to the drugs.
Psychology and psychiatry isn't just about sad or depressed people who need to talk to someone. The meat of the field is how one needs to learn how to understand and treat severe mental illnesses. There aren't a lot of people who are able to work with these kinds of people for long stretches of time.
I would like to invite you to spend 15 minutes in a lock down psych unit. Come back and let me know if your opinion of psychiatry has changed any. ;)
I supplied no-fee counseling from my home between 1984 and 1993, to divorced fathers. I spent around 20 hours a week at it. I soon learned that virtually 100% of divorced fathers at least contemplated suicide.
ReplyDeleteSo, anyone who called me got suicide counseling whether he wanted it or not. If he didn't want it, he should not have dialed my phone, heh, heh.
You implied a common base for suicide involves money problems. Yet, over the years I have read that the suicide rate is highest for divorced men.
I only know about divorce related suicide. All you need to do is: 1. Get them laughing. We all have our talents, and that is one of mine.
2. Help them get a good night's sleep. Few well rested men whack themselves. When they can't sleep go for a long walk, I mean half the night, rather than lying there thinking dark thoughts. Exercise is a better cure for depression than SSRI's and doesn't make you fat.
3. Help them get a plan for the future.
Some of the other things you said were right on. For example, I used to tell them to GTHO. Anywhere, but preferably someplace that doesn't speak English. Just as you said it can't be as bad as being dead.
Anonymous age 71
I've never attempted suicide, but, as someone who has copies of 'Emotional Resilience' and 'healing anger' ,I know what it's like to be angry, frustrated, and depressed in life.
ReplyDeleteIn short-term tough times, I put on what I call the 'Cocaine Blues' attitude to get through blues:
"oh yes, oh yes my name is Willy Lee...If you've got a warrant just a-read it to me".
Basically, I am a little more gruff and grumbly and get shit done.. because, 'what are they gonna do?shoot me?"
I once had a near breakdown from stress from graduate school. It built up so badly that I was nearly catatonic and immobilized one day. I sat at a park bench in front of a river and just watched the ripples mindlessly.. for nearly two hours. I ended up taking a summer off, drinking hard, and getting laid a lot. I eventually settled back in and finished strong.
In the past year, I've had such enormous financial stress that I got to the point where I just stopped caring. I just moved in with family to drop expenses to nearly nothing, start seeing friends and family, and after some of this 'healing', I am finding my way out of the hole (slowly).
By the way, I have to admit, the jewelry heist comment had me laughing out loud...but who am I to judge. my fall back plan in life is to leave all my debt and stress and live in some rural hut somewhere in Africa or Asia and basically just live off the land.
As far as I can see when you're down and out mentally, you gotta find what makes you happy... and hopefully hang on to that source of happiness when you get out of the rut.
great video, but i can see the potential for rationalization abuse there.
ReplyDeletein my mind, life is about 2 things. mission and experience. if you are incapable (truly incapable, as in paraplegic incapable) of formulating and executing a mission, whatever it may be, AND if your experience is painful (torture, every bone in your body is shattered and no doctor on earth can fix it but you somehow are still alive) only THEN can i see suicide being an option.
people make their choices and only they know why and how and all that. i will never understand any motivation for suicide. i even look at it as a weak act, but i still get that its a very personal choice.
my buddy hanged himself. he was an avid cyclist, and prepared and planned on riding a touring bicycle across the country. it wasnt just an idea, he was putting it together in reality. but he was also a drinker. and one day he had had a real rough week, got drunk as a response to the stress, and made one bad drunken decision. i am convinced that had he been sober or passed out drunk he would be alive today. a lot of times suicide is a rash decision made in haste and no bucket list is going to stop it from happening.
quite an interesting perspective, "life is existence".
ReplyDeleteof course, i'm one of those delusional christians; so i have a competing agenda with yours; but i have seen enough good things happen to bad people to know that no one is immune from bad days, bad years or troubled lives.
imo, the life should always be good is very usa/western civ. south america, russia and the far east have a lot more acceptance to live the life as it comes.
9:33 sounds like someone who went to law school - huge stress from "graduate" school and huge financial stress as the realization sets in that law school is a complete and utter waste of time.
ReplyDelete