Socialism! With taxes like that why work at all?
Debt Slaves! Why work hard when people with mortgages, car loans and spend-happy spouses have to work hard and pay taxes?
Corporate America! We'll lie about the job description and everything else!
HR! Degrading people with real skills by forcing them to interview with 24 year old ditzes since 1975. HR-when you really don't care to recruit the best!
Are the links working?
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome Captain - and more is on the way!
ReplyDeleteWhile the Captain becomes one with the rocks and the slough, this debt slave will:
- be paying off the mortgage this year
- paying off the wife's 2014 Rav 4 early
- putting 30k in the strong box by Christmas
Not bad for a debt slave, huh? So what does a debt slave do when he is finally done with the rat race? He gets back in the game!
Next year I am going to march right in to the dealership and buy a 2015 Indian Chieftain. Yeah, I will probably finance some of it rather than deplete my savings and slush funds...but I will finally have my last motorcycle. I can hear the friendly rumble of that iconic Thunderstroke 111 engine. I can see the chrome and leather and the classic markings of the machine. When I sit on that bike, the skies will open up, the sun will shine down and John Belushi, Elvis and Marylin will look down from the heavens and smile upon me. I will go to Sturgis, and me and my baby booming Sons Of Arthritis will hog the roads all the way!
There is a Utopia at hand for us too, Captain.
Sounds like a rosy picture, Glen. Until some time next week when your new VP walks into your office and announces that operations have been moved to Bangladesh, please empty your desk into a Failure Box and wait for security to escort you out, please. Then all of that money you save has to go to keeping your lifestyle afloat until you can find a job that pays a fraction of what you made before. At least you no longer have to worry about rent, and your temporary job at the Sizzler should allow you to cover the exhorbitant property taxes you have to pay to live in Semi-Decentville...
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you WEREN'T a debt slave, Glen, you'd probably be a millionaire right now. Imagine how nice it would have been to be able to keep and invest your copious wads of cash instead of having to turn a large chunk of it over to support the Democrat's Voter Plantations and Scholastic Indoctrination Centers and the Republican's Mendacious Military Money Machine.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of an independent office- do you any business ideas for me? I'm willing to pay upwards of five hundred dollars for an idea so that I can be rich and famous and hang out with miley cyrus. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThe incompetent people in HR is what kills me. In an interview I had with a young woman, she pulled out my resume and asked,
ReplyDelete"So what was your major and the college you attended?"
"You're joking right?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well I think we are done here. If people can't do something as simple as reading a resume at this company I don't think I would be the right fit."
Then I walked out.
@Anonymous at 10:02 AM
ReplyDeleteYou rock!!!
Boys...usually men my age with the money I have buy Corvettes, Vipers or big $$$ machines.
ReplyDeleteYa see, I actually take the Captain's advice for the most part. I live in a reasonable house. I save and invest. I buy new cars - always - but I drive them until the doors fall off.
But like the Captain - I reward myself once in awhile for the sacrifices I've made saving and investing. He goes hiking and travels...I go hunting and worship motorcycles.
Like you boys - I could get run over by a bus tomorrow. Ya gotta live a little bit too. You only go round once in this life - so make the best of it you can.
Daren, just invent some underclothing that tests for common STDs -- the upcoming generations will thank you and erect statues in your honour (puns intended).
ReplyDeleteAt an additional cost, parents can buy swabs that test the underclothing for non-familial DNA -- just upload your DNA sequences and order online in privacy!
Maybe you can invent a clothes washing detergent that enforces marital fidelity while you're at it.
You're welcome.
Take your five hundred dollars and spend it on hookers and blow.