Debbie Turrentine and the Child Outsourcing Industry

Debbie Turrentine is a 35 year day care veteran in the Springfield area.  And she's upset!  And the reason she's upset is because the State of Illinois is likely to cut not give as much money as they did last year to the Child Outsourcing Industry.

But what is the Child Outsourcing Industry you ask?
And why should we care?

Well young lieutenants, aspiring economists, and agents in the field, pour yourself a cocktail and let Uncie Cappy explain.

It all started long ago in the late 60's and early 70's when two variables or trends were taking place.  One was the 2nd wave of feminism that was educating (then) young girls about independence, equality, and (for some of the more extreme elements) how they did not need a man.  Women could do anything men could do.  And not only could they do that, they could "Have It All" (TM) - a career, an education, a retirement, a husband, and children.  Of course even though this was a trebling of the amount of work that would be required to technically have "everything," the number of hours sadly, did not treble.  Which meant an increase in one of these "things" would necessitate a decrease in another.

The second thing was no-fault divorce.  This allowed husbands and wives to divorce without there being any wrong doing by one of the parties.  In other words, you could divorce for any reason.  So frivolous could the reasons be, people often called it "frivorce."  This resulted in a BOOM in divorce for the first generation to be married under it - the baby boomers.  And just as Jackie Robinson made baseball a hallmark of black athletes, the baby boomer generation made divorce an Olympic event.  Divorce rates skyrocketed to where 1 in 2 marriages ended in divorce, and worse, it now seems this "All American Pastime" has passed onto Gen X and Gen Y.

Now these two trends or "variables" at the time were likely well-intentioned.  Why wouldn't you want women to have all the opportunities and successes of men?  Who wouldn't want to have it all?  And why ruin or even inconvenience your life if your marriage is no longer working?  On the face of it, they seem very logical, even libertinely American.  But sadly they were quite myopic.  For there was one insy, winsy, teeny, weeny, nearly borderline microscopic problem.

Children.

For while the people at the time were very much focused on their own lives, they failed to account for what the two aforementioned variables would do to any would-be mistakes children that would have been brought into this psychotic, dysfunctional, narcissistic environment world.

You see, the problem with children is apparently they take not only resources but TIME as well.  And to deal with these inconvenient parasites society, in nearly ALL parts of the world, naturally evolved a familial structure or system based on the division of labor.

ONE parent would work to earn the resources to support the family, while
ONE parent would stay at home and take care of the children.

This system worked for 2 million years, 3 billion if you include preceding evolutionary relatives of humans, and still works for the vast majority of mammals on the planet today.  However, the people of the 60's and 70's were too busy focusing on themselves to have an ounce of foresight, selflessness, or just plain common sense about how this would affect children.  And so the two aforementioned variables delivered a one-two punch to the families, but mainly children, of America.

By the mid to late 70's children were being brought up under broken homes.  By the mid 80's any social shame in being a single parent was expunged.  And today, it's gone so far that the nuclear family is mocked, while women turkey basting themselves are celebrated as "heroic."  Never mind that children from single parents or broken homes do worse and suffer more on pretty much every other variables.  Society was adhering to the two aforementioned variables and that trumped all.

But there was a problem, especially for the women.

Precisely how were they supposed to "have it all" with these damn parasites running around?  Apparently, you can't just leave them to fend for themselves.  They need to be tended to, taken care of, fed, and entertained.  And what if there's no other spouse in the house?  By golly, that just really throws an inconvenient crimp in one's career and social life, doesn't it?

But never fear, the Child Outsourcing Industry is here.

The Child Outsourcing Industry was originally just a loose network of grandparents, friends, families, and loved ones that would occasional watch over your inconvenient parasites should you and your spouse need a night out and a little adult time.  In its undeveloped and unenlightened stage, it operated from the premise the people who brought the parasites into the world would be responsible for said parasites.  However, such naivety and ignorance was quickly abolished as the desire for "women to have it all" and parents to get out of inconvenient marriages trumped the needs of their children.  And thus, over the past two decades the Child Outsourcing Industry went from mere baby sitters and grandparents to a multi-trillion dollar, government subsidized industry, full of professionals, social workers, and babysitters-posing-as-teachers who would take those nasty, disgusting parasites off of your hands, and raise your kids for you while you pursued a career and filed for divorce.

Of course, this industry does not come cheap.

With the job of parenting now outsourced to the state, the full cost and burden of rearing these unwanted parasites falls on the taxpayer.

Baby sitting masquerading as "daycare"
Baby sitting masquerading as "pre-school"
Baby sitting masquerading as "elementary school"
Baby sitting masquerading as "before/after school activities"

And shucks howdy, let's not forget all the other euphemistic ways the Debbie Turrentine's of the world help take care of your parasites

Special ed "teachers"
Social workers
Guidance counselors
Nutrition specialists
Community centers
Summer program coordinators
School lunch coordinators
School breakfast assistant diversity counselors
 
When you ad that up, by gosh that's some serious dough!

But thankfully in a very Keynesian way, this is a BLESSING, not a curse.  For you see, people like Ms. Turrentine with their worthless liberal arts degrees in "Baby Sitting" "Education" or "Early Childhood Development" or "Social Work" would normally not be employed, for their degrees were more "hobbies" and easy ones that avoided math and practicality.  But now they can find ego meaningful employment for their worthless government make work job profession.  And they are only to happy to do so.

There is however, one slight, minor drawback.

In order to finance all of the Child Outsourcing Industry the taxpayers need to shell out around $2.5 trillion annually.  This necessitates that BOTH parents work to pay the extra taxes needed for the Child Outsourcing Industry.  Thankfully, women wanted to have it all, which means instead of suffering at home raising their own children, they are enjoying a rich, rewarding life, hard at work being "equal to men," stuck in traffic, commuting 2 hours a day, working soul-sucking jobs, bucking for that promotion, kissing their boss' ass, and paying that much needed 50% tax rate (of course, don't let the fact the majority of women major in and pursue careers to merely raise the children of other women, and thus are still being mothers, making this whole industry redundant, kick you in the teeth).

So, as you see, Ms. Turrentine is right.  If the taxpayers don't shell out more dough, some people may actually be FORCED to dirty their hands parenting their own parasites.  Parents would have to look away from Narcissus' pool and contemplate such distasteful things like altruism, selflessness, compassion and love for their children parasites.  And since we all know that men and women are entitled to "have it all," have the right to divorce at any time, and are the most important things in this world, it is vital the government step in and make sure something as inconvenient as children does not interrupt their perfection.

Enjoy that decline, people.  Enjoy that freaking decline.

Aaron Clarey is an evil, right-wing, libertarian, racisthomophobesexistCISgenderedwhitemaleophile, who believes in Western-civilization-centric concepts like empiricism, morality, independence, self-supportation, reality and other hate-based concepts.  He is the author of a lot of mean books, a podcast that should be banned, and a YouTube channel where he spreads his hate.  He even charges for his hate with his consulting division "Asshole Consulting."  He lives in his mother's basement and oppresses people different than him.