Trump Victory Triggers Twin Cities to Call in Sick, Rush Hour a Breeze

In full intellectually honest disclosure I must admit that the day after the election I intended to drive around and visit all the coffee houses in the Uptown area of Minneapolis.  This is where all the hipsters who live off of their parents or taxpayers' monies hang out to convince one another that they are all smart, independent minded, and special while epitomizing the word "conformity."  I wanted to see them in their misery.  These are the same leftist sheep who voted to destroy this nation, who constantly remind me that I'm evil because of my skin color and plumbing, and at such a young age have the arrogance to think they're smarter than people who have been on this planet twice, even thrice as long as they have.  I also knew they were worthless people, having no real value to them except their religion of politics and political crusades.  So with this defeat their entire life-meaning and purpose would be called into question in their minds and I wanted to witness this show as I rightly deserved to enjoy their grief.  But before I could even get to Uptown I started noticing on the interstate...

"Geez there's NO traffic!"

Normally at that  time of day the roads would be "slow and go."  I would get mightily frustrated and it was the largest factor weighing on my mind against going to Uptown.  But then a thought occurred to me.

Quickly I grabbed my cell phone and called my girlfriend.

I said, "Girlfriend, was traffic bad this morning?"

She said, "No, it's almost like it was a government holiday.  Why?"

I called a buddy of mine and said, "Buddy of Mine, how was traffic this morning."

He said, "Traffic?  What traffic?  It was like a weekend!"

It then dawned on me that Donald Trump had triggered so many people in the Twin Cities that enough of them called into work sick that there was no morning rush hour.

I tried to do some actual journalism by calling different Twin Cities employers to see if a higher than normal number of people called in sick.  None of them could disclose that information because of company policy  But the more ancillary and indirect evidence I saw, the more I realized it HAD TO BE weak-minded leftists calling into work because they needed a "mental health day."

There were the numerous reports of colleges accommodating students who were traumatized by a Trump win democracy.  The baristas I talked to said business was slow.  And Uptown was a ghost town.  I had not seen it so desolate ever.

This then made me realize it wasn't just your average college kid who was this weak, but damn well near 20% of the adult Twin Cities population.  There are so many weak, emotionally fragile people that a democratic election triggered them to the point they had to call in sick for a day.  Of course, the real reason for this odd phenomenon was not that these petulant little children with pubic hair couldn't handle a Trump victory.  It's that society has brainwashed them, conditioned them, and spoiled them to the point that at the age of 30, 40, even 50 they actually think in their feeble minds they're entitled and need to take a day off because things didn't go their way.  The constant Minnesotan-socialism-pampering they're received these past 3 decades both in terms of government checks and pretty lies they were told about themselves and society, has resulted in a major metro area populated by pussies who simply cannot handle real life.

It is here I will say it again, as I've said it before,

DO NOT MOVE, INVEST, LIVE, OR GO TO SCHOOL IN MINNESOTA!

It is a socialist hell hole with the contiguous US' coldest temperatures, which is only outdone by the world's coldest people.  They are arrogant, snooty, dumb, clueless, and smugger than the smuggest of faux intellectuals.  Out of the entire country there are THOUSANDS of infinitely better places to start a business, find a spouse, raise a family, attend school, retire, or just plain enjoy life. Because if you have to wait for a republican presidential victory to make it so traffic is tolerable you are dealing with a highly pampered and spoiled society.  One that is very unlikely to offer anything of value to genuinely productive and intelligent people.
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