How Colleges Contribute to Global Warming...No Matter What they Say

It was around 3AM one summer day in 1996.  I was patrolling the Washington Avenue bridge which connected the east and west campuses of the University of Minnesota.  Normally this bridge would have been deserted, with not a soul on it, but there was a local man named "Larry" who by all accounts was mentally ill. Not a threat necessarily, but a delusional man who would hunt down security guards on campus and use them as free late night therapists.  Despite his dishonest intentions, most guards didn't mind his company in that it gave us something to do, especially during summer evenings when the campus itself was abandoned and absolutely no action was going on.  And though most of his ramblings was about his finances, inability to find a job, and his longing to someday find a girl, he said something to me one time that was actually intelligent and insightful.

"You know this internet thing will make these colleges obsolete."

There was nothing on the internet in 1996 and bar e-mail and porn, I couldn't see what else the internet would have to offer.  But I always remembered that fount of insight from Larry because for all his faults, he was 100% correct.

The internet has made colleges obsolete.

Of course, colleges don't know that yet.  They and their administrative bloat staff need physical college campuses to continue on otherwise they would have to get real jobs in the real world.  Reserve Assistant Vice Adjutant Deputy Diversity Officers would have to sling coffee instead of receive their welfare in the form of make-work-unnecessary-government jobs.  Liberal arts professors would have to dirty their hands flipping burgers, abandoning their truly worthless and faux fields, and for once contributing something to GDP.  And this says nothing of the millions of teenage college-bound Gen Z'ers who have been thoroughly brainwashed into thinking they're entitled to the Land of Canaan "College Experience," even though said experience will bankrupt them until they're in their 40's and online colleges would be infinitely cheaper.   Nearly every participant in today's physical colleges - professors, administrators and the students themselves - have a financial and/or psychological interest in keeping this obsolete horse-and-buggy industry around inspite of the "car of the internet" being developed 20 years ago.

I will delve into why colleges need to be eliminated (and the trillions of dollars in benefits that would confer upon the US and the world in general) in a later article.  But for now I want to use the obsolescence of American colleges to highlight a hypocrisy which should make even the most leftist leftists call into question their integrity, veracity, and practicality.

Global warming.

I personally do not believe in global warming.  My IQ is simply too high, plus I have street smarts and know a scam when I see one.  But let's say I did.  And not only that I did, but I was a adamant environmentalist.  So much so I got my doctorate in "Environmental Studies" and now teach...nay...head up the Environmental Studies Department.

Why then do I insist my students commute, drive, park, and commute back to the physical college campus?

Why then do I insist we spew trillions of tons in carbon emissions into our precious atmosphere when we build unnecessary buildings and roads in our college campuses?

Why do I insist we spend billions in electricity, pumping even MORE greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, to heat and power college classrooms, when every single Environmental Studies major can receive this education for a fraction of the carbon emissions (oh yeah, and cost too) if they attended school online ne'er commuting a mile to the college campus?

The hypocrisy doesn't end there because you damn well know it isn't merely the "Environmental Studies" departments at every college campus that touts their environmental and green credentials, but EVERY department, division, head, professor, employee and student at today's college campuses that virtue signals their environmentalism.  Matter of fact behind socialism and feminism, I would argue environmentalism is the #3 virtue espoused by all participants in all colleges, which then behooves the question....

If physical colleges are obsolete, can be replaced with online colleges, and their elimination would (by nearly all measures) eliminate ALL carbon emissions generated by physical college campuses, shouldn't we be doing what's right for the environment and RAPIDLY closing down all physical campuses and replacing them with digital ones?

I'm no environmentalist, but there are roughly 21 million college students in the US today.  Some of these college campuses have over 50,000 students and are veritable large cities.  If the cost of attending an accredited online college is a fraction of what it costs to attend a physical one, and we could eliminate SIGNIFICANT greenhouse gas emissions by eliminating physical college campuses, why on god's green Earth (pun intended) would any global-warming believing student, AND CERTAINLY ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES DEPARTMENTS, insist on attending a physical college?

Of course, the answer isn't because they haven't thought of it.  Professors, college administrators, and students are FULLY aware it would be cheaper and much better for the environment to replace physical colleges with digital ones.  It's once again a glaring exposure of the environmentalist and academic left's true ulterior motivation.  They don't give a damn about the environment.  They only give a damn about their cushy, worthless jobs.  They know that one GOOD professor can teach millions of students for pennies on the dollar online compared to the thousands of professors and the tens of thousands of college admin staff that is needed to run these now-pointless, unnecessary physical institutions.  And if online colleges were ever to establish a beachhead, they would be forced to do what use real world, real adult, hard working Americans do every day - work a real job.

Thankfully...at least for now...the K-12 segment of the Big Education industry has done a spectacular job indoctrinating young boys and girls into swallowing whole the "College Experience."  These kids are simply not going to attend college online, because it is the experience on a physical college campus they value most, even more than their education or the career that might come with it.  Ergo, "Suburbanite SWPL" Suzie will spend $150,000 of her daddy's money on her "International Studies" degree.  Gary "from the Ghetto" Gormanson will spend $50,000 on his African American Studies Degree.  And Tanner "Lacking in Testosterone" Tilbertson will piss away $100,000 on his Masters in Poetry.  And thus Big Education will continue to get their shekels.

But for anybody who has half an eye open and an ounce of intellectual honesty, the hypocrisy coming from America's academic community is painfully clear and blinding.  They are in it NOT for anything as noble as "the environment" (or feminism, or equality, or minorities, or the poor, etc. etc. etc.).  They are in it for the money.  It would be one thing if these academics, professors, and admins actually provided something of value in exchange for 4 years of childrens' youth and $100,000 in tuition.  But most of the products they are offering are completely worthless.

If only there were accredited online colleges that offered worthwhile degrees for a fraction of the cost and greenhouse gas emissions...

Oh wait.
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