Big Is Not - and Never Will Be - "Beautiful"

This is an excerpt from the book "How Not to Become a Millennial."  It will be of particular use of women who want to find a man, but have believed the lie that "big is beautiful" or that somehow men have had their hard-wired, biological programming washed away. 

I personally know this excerpt and what it attempts to achieve is folly.  I know that the brainwashing women have received to ignore the biological realities of men and replace it with the desire to make obesity, commonness, and sloth "sexy" is stronger than their desire to actually want to find an attractive husband.  I also know that the genetic programming to be lazy (as a wise survival strategy in our past) is more powerful than love.  But for the handful token number of women who are serious about finding a man in their lives (not to mention men who want to find a woman) this excerpt, though lengthy, provides not only the bio-physical realities of attraction, but also hopefully provides the reasoning and rationale to give you the mental energy to actually lose weight and become physically attractive.

"Younger women today have a front row seat to an amazing show. A show where their elder generational sisters are torn between the two strongest biological drives they have. On one side is the strongest force in the human mind – laziness. On the other side is their biological drive to find a man. And what ensues is a tormenting game of tug of war as these two massive forces duke it out for the control of these women’s minds, unfortunately destroying these poor women in the process. It’s not a pretty show. It’s not a fun show. It’s actually a tragedy. But in watching this battle unfold younger women today can learn a lot from their elder generational sisters and avoid their tormented fate.

How this battle specifically unfolds is that human laziness is such a strong force it threatens most women’s ability to find a quality man. It does so as laziness does with all people by making them fat. It is hard to work out and hit the gym. It is hard to eat right and diet correctly. And everybody under the sun knows precisely how to get in shape, how to stay thin, and how to be attractive. It’s no secret. But the eternal and unrelenting force of laziness is so strong it literally overpowers what people know to be blindingly true in their frontal cortex. And since laziness is stronger than truth, it is clearly winning as obesity rates for both men and women are going through the roof.

The problem is this is the exact opposite of what men want. Men want hot women, with long hair, long legs, a kind demeanor, and who are thin.

I’ll say that again in case there’s any confusion on the part of women.

Men want:

hot women,

with long hair,

long legs,

a kind demeanor,

and who are thin.

And when presented with a buffet of overweight, obese, physically unattractive women, the men women want are simply not inspired to ask them out. Being fat is revolting to men. It is the single worst thing you can do to your chances of finding a man. No matter how much you want a man, if you get fat, you will not get him (or keep him).

But what makes this show even more tragic and sad is to just what desperate lengths women will futilely go to have their cake and eat it too. That even though they’ll never give up being fat, they’ll still vainly make attempts to make themselves attractive. They’ll put on weaves, do their nails, wear heels, wear make-up, put on lipstick, put on blush, do their hair, get a nose job, get a boob job, get a manicure, get a pedicure, extend their lashes, extend their nails, dye their hair, dye their brows, pierce their belly button, stuff their bras, push up bras, buy diet books, read diet books, watch diet videos, watch workout videos, lie about their weight, lie about their age, take close-up photos, photoshop their photos, plunging necklines, v necklines, turtle necklines, Condi Rice boots, CFM boots, pointy boots, and maybe even a few snack crackers. They’re so desperate they’ll even try to undo the biological hardwiring of men by shaming them for liking thin girls or accuse them of being *gasp* “shallow.” They will do absolutely anything and everything to get a man…except for hitting the gym and taking the damn cupcake out of their mouths.

In the end all women end up doing is tormenting themselves. Not only with desperate hopes that are never realized where someday they might actually get a man, but the wasted psychological and caloric toll it must take to try everything under the sun to get a man…as long as it avoids the gym. And so what usually ends up happening is a woman does get a man, but not the one she really wanted. A man she settles for. A man she tolerates. One she is more prone to divorce and one a more attractive man could probably temporarily lure her away from. Cynical as that sounds, it is true. One of the most important parts of women’s lives today – their love life – is heavily compromised and certainly not a source of happiness because laziness trumped love. And so your elder generational sisters are doomed to forever wonder if they could have got something better. Which is the perfect recipe for a miserable love life.

You Really Don’t Need a Man

But there is some good news. And all it takes is a little clear thinking and some intellectual honesty. Because if you take the time sit down, take inventory of what you want in your heart of hearts, and just be honest with yourself, you can avoid the tormented fate of your elder generational sisters and live a much better life.

You just need to ask yourself one simple question:

Do you really want a man?

If you do, there is nothing wrong in admitting this. It’s been that way since humans have existed and it’s what you’re biologically programmed to want. So there’s no shame in admitting you want a man. But if you do indeed want a man what you absolutely have to realize is that you are not getting a trinket or a toy. You don’t go to “The Man Store” and pick up a man. Nor are you going to a slave market and purchasing a slave. You are trying to get another sentient human being, who has his own agency and choice, to in turn also choose to spend time with you. And if you myopically and solipsistically only consider your wants and desires, and not his, you will fail and he will choose not to be with you. Therefore, if you truly want a man you have to first consider what he wants. And I don’t know if we’ve gone over this before, but men want…

a hot woman,

with long hair,

long legs,

a kind demeanor,

who is thin.

Admittedly, achieving these things takes effort. A lot of effort. Being a beautiful woman is a real part time job. But it is vital to your future happiness to realize that if you are not willing to achieve those standards then you ultimately do not want a man as your inherent biological desire to be lazy is more powerful than your desire for a man. So if you’re not willing to be physically attractive, then don’t plan on getting a man.

But you know what?

That’s perfectly alright too. Because the problem with putting forth the effort needed to get a man is its equivalent to that of keeping a dog. It’s a lot of work. It takes dedication, it takes love, you need to feed it, let it out, take it to the vet, and care for it. It’s an incredible responsibility to take care of a dog and it’s even more so with a man. But just as it’s alright to be honest with yourself and acknowledge you just don’t want to put forth the effort to take care of a dog, it’s also alright to admit the same when it comes to taking care of a man. Additionally, it’s just unfair to both dogs and men if you’re not willing to put forth the effort to take care of either. And so, yes you may want a man. I too desperately want a dog. But we both need the maturity to acknowledge we’re not willing to put forth the effort that is required to be “good owners” of either. It’s perfectly alright to get a cat instead.

There is one final and key thing about being honest with yourself if you are not willing to put forth the effort to get a man. If you’re not, stop torturing yourself over it. Again, there is nothing more sad and tragic than when fat, overweight women gussy themselves up with nails, heels, tight clothing, and the whole nine yards thinking that is what’s going to get a man. All that effort, time, and hope is wasted. All their lives are wasted pining for a man who is never going to come, dragging out the torture and the torment even more.

Do yourself a favor. Set yourself free and have some self-respect.

If you want to eat, drink, and be merry, go actually eat, drink, and be merry. If you want to take on hobbies, hang out with your girlfriends, pursue your career, and enjoy all the great and wonderful food this world has to offer, go and do all those things. But please do not lessen your enjoyment, let alone your life, lamenting the loss of a man. Enjoy and avail yourself of this path in life guilt free.

So Why The Lie?

Whether women choose to have a man in their lives or not, both paths take herculean efforts on the part of women, both physically and psychologically. The physical commitment that is required to attract and keep a quality man is literally a life-long, part-time job of manual labor. You hit the gym. You hit the treadmill. You lift weights. And you commit yourself to a soulless diet. For women who choose not to have men in their lives, the psychological effort required to do so is also herculean. They need to be true stoics, tempering their innate desire to have a man, and they must have the mental faculties to honestly conclude they’d prefer not to have a man in their lives. But the vast majority of women are simply capable of neither.

Very few women put forth the effort to stay physical fit and if they do they usually gain weight upon getting a commitment from a guy. And very few women who choose a man-free life actually go out and enjoy it. Most of them obsess about men as evidenced by feminists, women’s magazines, the media, etc., the precise same people who say you don’t need a man! You’d half expect them to happily go fishing or something instead of wasting their lives raging against men, but that is all they do. Regardless, it takes a tremendous steel resolve to either commit to the physical requirements to be beautiful or to ignore your biological desires to have a man. Thus, these two exceptional groups of women make up no more than 10% of the female population, leaving 90% of women in the impossible situation where they are still at the whim of both biological drives. They desperately want to be lazy and they also desperately want to find their man. So what are these poor women to do?

Thankfully, an industry specializes in resolving that precise problem. It allows women to not only be fat, lazy, couch potatoes, but also promises them their very own George Clooney. An industry so advanced its product is the last and final luxury good in America. And as you guessed it, it’s The Lying Industrial Complex. And they are only more than happy to sell women that last and final American luxury good - living a lie.

Even though we reviewed just what a lengthy and comprehensive list of industries are involved with selling people lies, I don’t think people really comprehend how much money is to be made in lies. And though she is only one person, she serves as a great case study and empirical data point because she made billions off of selling lies – Oprah.

Oprah was the original drug dealer of lies. The heroin peddler of fibs. And though we lacked the awareness to realize what she was doing early on in the 80’s, she was just doing what P.T. Barnum or Frank Lucas did - selling dope to suckers. But be it Barnum, Lucas, or Winfrey, none of them had to go door to door to sell their product. People lined up for their product because it was what they wanted. They were clamoring for it. And when you look at the GDP of lies vs. the GDP of illegal narcotics, it’s not even close. Lies are a much larger industry and a much more addicting drug. So when you have 90% of the female population being torn between the two most powerful biological forces in their lives, if you can convince them they can have them both, they will pay you everything they own in their lives, even if it is a lie.

That is why “big is beautiful.” It’s why big has to be beautiful. Because there’s so much potential money to be made.

The fashion industry, media, the democrat party, government, non-profits, academia, feminism, Hollywood, psychologists, retailers, corporate America, harlequin romance novels, and yes, even the Hallmark Channel stand to make billions (trillions over time) if they can convince women they can both be lazy and find a man. Women will buy their perfume, their fashion, their books, and their overpriced liberal arts education not for the underlying economic value of these things, but because it’s couched in the lie that makes them feel good. “Big is beautiful,” “beauty has no weight,” “you’re all beautiful on the inside,” all of which is part of the bigger lie of “you can have it all.”

But we all know what happens to people who live a lie. They destroy their lives. And that’s precisely what these women do. They destroy their lives.

The 5% of women who actually get in shape and stay in shape for their man have the love of their family, or at least their man. The 5% of women who truly do not want a man have the peace and serenity that comes without one. They are off free on their own, living life without the concerns of a man. But for the remaining 90% of women they are addicted to the lie that they can have both. That somehow there’s a Clive Owen-esque looking man who will have no physical standards and won’t care that she’s 300 pounds. That this incredible dearth of men is not due to them being morbidly obese, but rather bad luck and men just being sexistly shallow. And no matter how much empirical data is paraded in front of them, no matter how quickly that window is closing for them to find a man, they will cling to the lie that someday a “Real Man™“ will find them and “love them for who they are.” And even though deep down inside they know better, they don’t care. They will take that syringe, fill it full of “big is beautiful,” shoot it right into their veins, and the Lying Industrial Complex will keep them supplied until they’re dead. They will have neither a man nor the peaceful life that comes without one. They will have the worst of both worlds and the best of none.

Choose Now

Whether young women choose either path, it doesn’t matter. It is your life and you can choose to do with it as you please. But you need to choose one. You cannot have both. Because both is not an option. It is an illusion sold to you by society to profit off of you and its fate is a wasted life.

But if there’s one bit of advice younger women can glean from their Millennial and Gen X sisters it’s that you don’t have a lot of competition. With obesity ravaging the country, beauty standards are so low simply being in shape, having long hair, and not having a gross of tattoos puts any young woman in the top 10% of her peers. And if you can muster the etiquette and decorum to be a pleasant young lady, you’re in the top 5%. With the barrier to beauty so low, it behooves every young woman to at least try to be attractive for once in your life to see what advantages it gets you. Because unlike your Gen X and Baby Boomer sisters, you got something they don’t.

Youth.

And once that goes away the door closes forever for you to be beautiful. Well, at least beautiful to men anyway."

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