Wednesday, August 22, 2007

A Question for All the Female Aspiring Economists

So I'm about to round off my vacation here in Montana and I had a repeat experience that has repeated itself too many times now to be coincidence so I need you lovely and sexy female economists out there to explain this to me;

Last night I go to one of the local bars out here in the Glacier National Park area. I run into a motley crew in the truest sense of fun loving 20 somethings who are spending their days contributing to GDP by running rafting tours, rangering, and other sorts of odd jobs. Everybody is having a good time, dancing and drinking at the local bar. One of the girls in the group fancies me and constantly strikes up conversations, asks me to dance and basically does all the leg work that the guy normally does.

Now, not to be mean or rude, but just to state the truth, I have no romantic or sexual interests in this girl because she is a little overweight. Call me a jerk, call me an ass, but that's just the way it is. I have no physical interest in this girl. That being said she is a nice girl and I genuinely enjoyed her company and very much enjoyed her conversation until....

The "Mother Hen" would intervene every time this young lady and I would embark on a conversation.

We would be in the middle of an engaging conversation and this other girl would come out of nowhere and pull her away from me.

We would be in the middle of a dance and sure enough the Mother Hen would yank her away in the middle of the dance floor.

And it angered me to the point that here I am, an innocent guy, with no plans or intentions with this girl and some nazi-goose-stepping, nanny-state totalitarian intervenes somehow thinking she's doing the Lord's work and "saving" this girl from my evil clutches when I had not clutching intent.

Now normally I would write this off as some crazy chick, but as I mentioned before, this is a repeat occurrence, and nor is it relegated to young 20 somethings.

A mere year ago I was hanging out with my good buddy Enrique. He's about 50 and we're with his buddy Ron who is also about 50. The establishment we were at was on a lake and a boat pulls up to dock and off walks a girl that Ron knows and works with. I forget her name, but she too was middle aged.

So Ron and this girl are in the middle of a conversation. And again, Ron has no plans or intentions with this girl. It was obvious through their conversation they were cordial, professional and co-workers.

But sure as scheit, another middle aged woman comes out of nowhere and "yanks" this girl away from Ron in the middle of their 100% innocent conversation.

Now I thought this was an ailment largely relegated to young teens/early 20's type women. But with this resurgence in instances of the "female yank" and at ages in excess of 30, it seems to me to be a mental illness or an ailment that transcends all ages and something I'm going to run into again and therefore will need to know how to handle in the future.

So my question you sexy intelligent economists of the female persuasion is this;

Who the hell are these chicks?

And WTF is their damage?

14 comments:

  1. Sounds like the old "how do you keep a crab in a bucket?" adage.

    To keep a crab in a bucket, throw another one in with it. As soon as one gets up the side the other one pulls it back down.

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  2. I'm not a chick but the simple answer is jealously. Misery loves company and the “mother hens” are a bit more aggressive in retaining the small amount of company they do have. If mother hens were happy in their own affairs, why would they intrude upon others? This girl you were having a fine time with; you should have pointed out to her that her friend is deliberately ruining fun that doesn’t involve said friend.

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  3. In fairness, the nannies don't necessarily know your intentions. That doesn't mean they aren't being rude. My theories, in increasing order of probability, are:

    1) You bear an uncanny resemblance to a serial killer;

    2) You attract women who are known by their friends to be emotionally unstable. This would explain both why the nannies do it and why the women you talk to allow the nannies to do it;

    3) On a related note, perhaps you attract women who like being bossed around. This would explain why they have friends who are able to get away with being so rude;

    4) There are just a lot of really rude people out there. (OK, that's actually a fact, not a theory, but the point is that maybe there are just a lot of rude women yanking their friends around.)

    I think the more important question is why are these women letting their friends get away with this? The first time I guess I can see, but if it's a repeat occurrence...?

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  4. Dude, you're getting cock blocked on fat chicks? Ouch.

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  5. Yeah, tell me about. Although, you can't even say I was being cock-blocked, because I had no sexual interest in the girl. I was just plain being blocked!

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  6. Kasia,

    Duly noted, but why Ron? And besides, it think this has happened to every guy in their lifetimes at least once.

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  7. Anonymous7:49 AM

    OK, for starters, these, uh, older girls (I just can't say women, sorry) think that somehow it is their responsibility to save the world (one naive young female at a time). And, if it makes any difference, they don't only do this with men; although obviously much more frequently so. I have had it happen to me a few times (and I'm as hetero as they come). I don't know if these people (because it was seemingly random and unplanned) have a spidey sense about young girls in 'danger of corruption' or what. But it seems like every time I am out and start talking to a younger lady about various aspects of reality that you generally don't learn in school one of these matronly types will swoop in and be like 'you need to come with me'. Only once did I challenge it, "Excuse me, but WTF is so important that you feel the need to interrupt this conversation and forbid this person from talking to me?" And the dumb b---- said something like "Well, you're contaminating her perspective on life because you think like a guy," (and, yes, actually said that, maybe not verbatim, but hey). At which point this younger chick and I laughed heartily at her supposed righteousness. That was fun, towards the end of that evening she told me that she was really glad I stopped her from going and she thought that I was pretty cool and the conversation was great. I asked her if I hadn't made my challenge would she have gone with the overgrown girl - and she said, yes, because she seemed like an authority and sometimes you just follow authority without even stopping to think about it.
    So, maybe next time you can try saying something like this (adjusted slightly for coming from a guy): "Excuse me, but we were speaking and if she really wants to come with you she doesn't have to do it right now. I think she is capable of making her own decisions and if she really wants to talk to you then perhaps she can do it AFTER our conversation, or at least after the sentence that we were in the MIDDLE of when you so *ahem* graciously interrupted." It is likely to work because it will make the person you were talking to actually STOP and cognitize the fact that "hey, wait I CAN think for myself". Or, if it doesn't then it's not like it made anything worse.
    Sorry for the long comment, maybe it's useful?

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  8. I think is the "Mother Hen" who likes you... and may not want any intruder.

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  9. Captain,

    Quite so. That's why #4 is the most probable. There are just a lot of really rude people out there.

    That's my guess, anyway. I've known a few people in my life who might've tried that sort of thing, but the one common denominator is rudeness. Anything else: insecurity, misery loving company, protectiveness, etc, doesn't carry over to all of the subsets.

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  10. Kenza,

    Thanks for the insight. I did say something the third time she yanked the girl away from me, but it was nowhere near as ahem "diplomatic"

    And Carlito, trust me, she did NOT like me.

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  11. Carlito,

    Are you in the Badlands of South Dakota in your picture or is that somewhere else?

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  12. Anonymous10:18 PM

    "Yeah, tell me about. Although, you can't even say I was being cock-blocked, because I had no sexual interest in the girl. I was just plain being blocked!"

    Just had your conversation ended by some crazy chick who won't give you five minutes' peace? You've been talk-blocked. :)

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  13. No Cap, those aren't the Badlands of South Dakota, that´s Petrified Forest (Painted Desert indeed) in Arizona.

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  14. Anonymous4:50 PM

    It's not impossible the "yank" had less to do with you and more to do with whatever was going on in the girl's life. Maybe she had 12 kids she needed to get home to; or a husband; or some icky disease; or an important interview in the morning...

    Men shouldn't always assume the burden of guilt falls on them.

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