My Bondage-A-Go-Go-Girl Story

Occasionally, kind of akin to Michael Savage when he talks about his days as a youth, my friends suggest instead of a lecture on economics, that I regale my audience occasionally with more personable stories. And after telling a group of new friends my bondage-a-go-go girl story, they all demanded I put it up here, so pour yourself a martini, light up a cigar if you have it, settle in and enjoy.

It was 1998 and I was all of 22 years old. I frequented a club called “The Front” in Minneapolis for it was the very first place to have swing dancing. It was a great place (still is) with a Tiki-Martini Lounge theme and they had live bands like Tony DeMarco, Vic Volare and a whole host of other bands. But it was also called “The Front” because it was the front part of a larger club called “Ground Zero.” Ground Zero was an industrial, techno-rave discoteque that had this kind of “dance-girls-in-cages-men-wearing-leashes-bondage” theme. The upstairs of which you could pay a scantily-leather-clad dominatrix or dominator (depending on your preference) to torture you in front of the masses. Things like electrocuting clamps, pouring hot wax on you and so forth. It was quite surreal.

In any case, in my youthful age of 22, I ended up dating Jackie who was the bartender at The Front and was also 30. Giddy as a school boy, we only dated about a month or so, until she broke my poor youthful heart on the grounds I was too young for her and she felt guilty dating me. Regardless, she was a nice gal, almost church going, and all we did was date and smooch a little bit, but alas, that’s all it was meant to be.

So fast forward 7 years and me and my buddy Tony (the singer of the club who I befriended) were reminiscing about the good ole days at The Front.

I said, “Do you remember The Front.”

Tony responded, “Yeah, I remember The Front. Those were good days back then.”

I said, “Nothing exciting, but I used to date Jackie. You know, that cute blond that was the bartender at The Front.”

Tony, kind of surprised, turned and looked at me and said, “You dated Jackie the dominatrix?”

I said, “No, no, I dated Jackie, the bartender at The Front.”

He replied, “You dated the dominatrix!"

I said, “No, Jackie, the bartender at The Front! She was the girl serving drinks at The Front. That’s who I dated.”

Smugly he then replied, “Jackie, the bartender at The Front, WAS the dominatrix!”

In disbelief, I said, “Wha?”

“You mean to tell me, you were dating the dominatrix and you DIDN’T KNOW!?”

Tony who was, and still is, one of the most somber, darker individuals I know, never laughed so hard in his life.

I said, “Well how the hell was I supposed to know! She didn’t have whips or anything in her house! It’s almost as if she was going to church or something!”

Never before had I felt so cheated. I almost felt more cheated out of that, than the social security I’ll never get. She seemed like a normal, almost quiet-like girl. And then, seven years after the fact, I found out I was dating Minneapolis’ premiere dominatrix.

And thus concludes my bondage-a-go-go girl story.