An excerpt from my latest piece at Return of Kings.
"These economic
opportunity costs are huge. Most men, if they invested their time into
themselves instead of women, would easily boost their lifetime earnings
by over $1 million. We could easily retire at 40. Most of us would
have no mortgage, car loans, or student loans. Not to mention the
mental serenity, peace, and calm that comes with such a life. But there
are also other opportunity costs in the quality of life when you put
wife-hunting ahead of your own life. You forfeit adventure, hobbies,
traveling, intellectualism, philosophy, reading, entrepreneurship—a
nearly limitless number of things you could have pursued, enjoyed, even
mastered—making your life a genuinely interesting one, had you not
wasted your time on bars, nightclubs, or Tinder."
With the very real risks of:
ReplyDelete-- past and present STDs (curable and incurable),
-- inability to bond emotionally with any man after 10+ years of riding the Carousel,
-- problems with inability and/or refusal to bear children,
-- illegitimate children (and the probability of the permanent presence and influence of their 'Bad Boy'/thug fathers),
-- bad feminist attitudes against men,
-- high probability of divorce (and the inevitable danger of 'frivorce theft'),
...why should any man with intelligence and good character even want to 'catch' a woman nowadays? He might as well want to catch the Bubonic Plague.
It seems an interesting piece Cap but I refuse to give that site a single click. I am currently 30 and in the first decent job of my life. I am looking to work my ass off my now. I want to semi retire at 40.
ReplyDeleteTo say nothing of the fact that in North America there is almost nothing worth chasing - unless you have a fetish for attitude, beaucoup body fat, debt, entitlement, mental illness, shallowness, and STDs, to name just a few of the "prize" attributes of the 21st Century NA female.
ReplyDeleteThe two best pieces of advice I ever received on finding a spouse both came from my college pastor. Both speak to roughly the same advice you're giving here.
ReplyDelete#1. - Don't look for the right one, be the right one.
#2. - You catch what you fish for.
Stable, marriage minded women aren't going to be found too often in clubs, at bars, or on Tinder. There may not be any secret formula to finding one of these women, but like you said, working on improving yourself and hopefully being in groups or places where you can meet someone with common interests is a good place to start.
I do disagree with you a bit about how likely it is for single guys to be much more accomplished and successful on their own though. Maybe I'm an outlier here. I'm basically a late Gen X slacker, and I suspect that as a single guy, I'd probably have had a lot less drive to improve myself over the last fifteen years. I'd probably be living in a one-bedroom apartment surrounded by gaming PC components, anime, everything covered in a veneer of cat hair, while I contentedly worked strings of contract gigs as a video game QA Analyst.
Instead I got married a year out of college to the girl I met during my Junior year. We've been married for fifteen years now, with five kids. Possibly the best decision I've ever made. She stays home and cares and schools them, allowing my single income to support our family of seven (which, admittedly, is a lot easier once I left Washington and video game development in favor of South Dakota and FinTech). We motivate each other to be better together, than either one of us would be apart.
Perhaps ignore women completely and they will come running anyway? At least that applies in my age group (over 50) since there are so few men compared to the women. Not that I am interested in a woman over 50 anyway for any reason.............
ReplyDeleteWorked that out long ago. Even crunched the numbers enough to show that the difference over 20 years was:
ReplyDelete$1m by marrying cupcake (less $$$ with children costs and possible/probable divorce)
...vs...
$2m by chasing money (more $$$ with paying for young and hot professional girls - no children, no divorce)
At 40, they're young and hot, you're paying for them to leave. It's a lot more enjoyable than some 40yo fattie who's nagged you for nearly 20 years - assuming that you stay together that long.
Plus a single man's minimalist lifestyle will have a helluva lot more left over.
If you're chasing after women, you're telegraphing that you're desperate for their attention, and they will treat you as such-a pet, a joke, or even a nobody.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not even interested in them, but have certain qualities of your own, you'll pique their interest, and they will do anything and everything to find out why tits and legs aren't enough to turn you into a salivating dog.