Thursday, July 28, 2011

Hippies Don't Help Economic Growth

I was at the post office the other day. In front of me was a younger-looking grandmother sending off what seemed to be a book and a National Geographic issue. It was a small post office, but it wouldn't have mattered because this woman was quite insistent on speaking loud enough for everybody to hear.

"Yes, I'm sending these to my grandchildren! That's me on the front of the National Geographic when I was in South America! I'm also in this book! It's the first book written by and about the Peace Corps."

Naturally my eyes rolled. Not because in front of me was an aged hippie who can only point to something she did 50 years ago as the pinnacle of the acheivements in her life, but because who else but Peace Corps hippies would think their grandchildren want a lame book written by hippies and a dated National Geographic from 1964?

Of course I couldn't pass this up, so I inquired,

"Where were you in the Peace Corps?"

"Ecuador. Have you been there?"

"No, no, haven't been there."

"Well how do you know about it?" (which I found to be a funny question because it's not like you had to have been to Ecuador to know it exists)

"I'm an economist, I follow the Correa administration."

And with that exchange, that's all I needed. I found the country she and the other hippies were at in 1964. So off the Captain went to the Cappy Cap Cave, fired up his ole Cappy Cap Computer and went to work looking up Ecuador's economic history.

And in a few short minutes of superawesome economic research, I found the presence of hippies do not help economic growth. Of course most people know that, I just wanted to confirm that it wasn't by some miracle they actually did make a difference this time.

Notice when hippies were introduced to the Ecuadorian environment, nothing happened for about a solid decade thereafter. It wasn't until EEEEVIIIILLLLLL oil was discovered in 1973/1974 did its economy actually start growing.

Ever since then Ecuador's economic performance can largely be explained by oil. When oil prices tanked in the late 80's, so too did its economy. And even with a largely leftist president implementing largely leftist policies, the economy is still booming today because of the price of EEEEEVILLLLL oil.

This behooves the question then;

"What the heck did the hippies go for there in the first place?"

And another follow up question;

"Why do we keep sending hippies overseas if they don't achieve anything?"

Oh, what innocently foolish questions.

You see young, aspiring, junior, deputy and otherwise economists, Peace Corp, Ameri-Corp, UN, UNICEF, IMF and whatever other aid/humanitarian types out there do not go to these countries to help these poor countries out. They go there simply for themselves. If you look at the statistics globalization and economics is what gets countries out of poverty just as oil got Ecuador out of absolute poverty. Not this lady and her ilk helping build a well in some remote village of the Ooki Booki tribe. They go there, first and foremost, so they can feel good about themselves. Whether they actually bring about tangible results is inconsequential, because deep down inside they really don't care.

Now, while you may think I'm being harsh, especially for criticizing an old woman for sending her grandchildren a book she helped write and a magazine with her and her hippie friends, think about that.

Would YOU as a grandparent send your GRANDCHILDREN a book you wrote, let alone articles about YOU and on topics they could not care less about? It tells you all you need to know about the woman's psychology.

Can you imagine what a fun Christmas that would be at the Captain's household?

Grandchildren - "GRANDPA CAPPY! GRANDPA CAPPY!"

Old Cappy Cap - "Well hello grandchildren!"

Grandchildren - "What did you get us for Christmas!?"

Old Cappy Cap - "Well, I brought you a copy of my book, Behind the Housing Crash and an article written about me from 2007!"

Grandchildren - "Awww poop. That's not a real present."

Old Cappy Cap - "Shut up, you ungrateful brats! You will read it and like it! Where's the Rumpleminze?"

And of course, that's the point. This woman, just as she did back in 1964, is doing the same thing today. She's sending these poor grandkids a boring book not for their sake, but for herself.

But perhaps I could explain a little better with a quote from a previous post.

"The fact that the "house" in figure 2 still looks like garbage 7 years later just goes to show that sociology majors just like in the first world can't fix anything in the third world either."

I say just never grant a hippie with enough credit or skill to actually fix anything.

11 comments:

  1. Oh, Captain...

    "Why do we keep sending hippies overseas if they don't achieve anything?" is the wrong question. The right questions is:

    How can we send [as many as possible of] the hippies overseas _and keep them there_ where they don't get in the way of people trying to get the economy going here?

    JCS

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  2. Anonymous3:48 PM

    Ecuador - it certainly isn't because of good management.

    They do things like pass retro-active laws.

    So for example BP is getting sued by employees they have for things THE PRIOR OWNER did years ago...when it was legal.

    Get your head around THAT.

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  3. Anonymous3:50 PM

    One problem here cappy old chum. She has gone forth and multiplied her worthless self. You my boy have not.

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  4. Anonymous5:43 PM

    To be fair, grandparents have been giving their grandchildren stuff they aren't even remotely interested in since forever.

    I'm not denying your other points, just arguing that one.

    Sean

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  5. Jack Dublin7:30 PM

    It should be pointed out that when these anointed elite do what 'feels' right, they never suffer any consequences for failure. The damage always falls on the ones who 'needed help.'

    And if it didn't work we need to spend more and stop being greedy. We probably just hate (insert target group) people.

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  6. Anonymous7:47 PM

    I think the point is actually to get them out from underfoot.

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  7. Anonymous7:24 AM

    I relate to Eric Cartman regarding hippies...

    http://youtu.be/F2ZwJiK0fJ0

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  8. Anonymous9:00 AM

    This is how you get rid of hippies. The spanish dubbing just makes it even more hilarious :

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_V2vvmnLuc

    Best. Episode. Ever.

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  9. Anonymous11:09 AM

    when you only go there for a year at a time, you don't have to suffer the consequences of your failure. Just take some pictures for your memoirs and get on the plane.

    In fairness, my church does the same damned thing. A bunch of middle class executives fly first class to Mexico city and act like common laborers (because Mexico doesn't have any of those) to help re-roof some chapel or poor concrete for a new kitchen addition. The difference is that the church people use their own money. Hippies use MY money.

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  10. Anonymous10:39 AM

    Was living in Tripoli, Libya when Gadaffi displaced King Idris Senussi (9/1/69), a plane load of new Peace Corpers showed up more or less contemporanously, while lunching in a local restuarant a bunch showed up and started talking, rather loud, they were so naive and self-centered!

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  11. Anonymous7:20 PM

    I think Rucka Rucka Ali has the definitive anti-hippie song.

    FAR too catchy for its own good.

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