But on a larger scale, I can't watch the news without some dumb corporation with "chick flick" music in the background and panoramic shots of rolling hills and kids and butterflies with some kind of emasculated guy sounding like Mr. Rogers saying;
"We know that the future is important to our children.
That the environment is all we can give them.
That's why we here at Jones' Hydrochloric Acid Company are doing our share to go green.
Using the latest technologies we ensure our hydrochloric acid burns safely, cleanly emitting less carbon dioxide than our competitors.
We do this not for profit, but because we care.
Because going green is what's best for the future.
And the future is our children. J
ones' Hydrochloric Acid Company. Hope for our children. Hope for our future."
They're like Obama speeches in 30 second commercial sound bites.
Just once I'd like to see a company say;
"(KMFDM in the background) Hey, how ya doing? Look, we'd like to claim we're going green, but you know something? We just can't lie to you. Costs too much. And besides, none of all these other companies that claim they're going green are.
We promise to dump as much toxic waste into waterways as legally possible.
We promise to cut corners where possible to make it more affordable to you.
And we do our best to make sure our engines emit the most CO2 possible, and if not, we burn a gallon of gasoline for every engine we sell just to make sure.
Why do we do this?
Because we are just too intellectually honest to try to feign like we give a damn or fall for this politically correct BS.
Besides,the future is going to be ran and dominated by China because we keep handicapping ourselves and majoring in cosmetology, and they don't give an ef about global warming.
So buy Bob's Toxic, Fuming Polar Bear Killing Engines.
They'll bring about global warming, but nowhere near as fast as the developing nations."
See, now I could buy that on account of truth. Whereas I still have yet to buy anything, ANYTHING on it with a gorilla on the packaging. Just don't trust a company that puts wild animals that would kill you on a package.
Regardless, to mindlessly get in line with the rest of the sheeple, I shall go "green" for the day.
PS-For every hit I get, the Captain will not cut down a tree.
14 comments:
*Golf Clap* Bravo, Capt'n. My wife and I have been saying just that for weeks. You can't turn on HGTV (my wifes MTV) without seeing a frickin' "Green" commercial. They're giving away a frickin' "Green" house, for crying out loud. I'll go you one better, every time I hear someone using the word "Green," not in reference to an actual color, I'm going to use my remote starter for the full 20 minutes, just to burn some gasoline, and add to my "Carbon footprint."
Maybe, I'll use a Styrofoam glacier, instead...
Ya its definitely getting over the top with all the adverstising...hell even my stros wore green hats last night against the padres (and miraculously won somehow). Especially since its all coming from PR/Marketing departments who know little to none on what it actually takes to being 'green.' Its 95% BS.
That being said, I favor companies looking for ways to cut energy costs, produce things more efficiently, reduce costly waste etc. These things are in essance 'green' and they can help save companies money. But spare the feel good, polar bear hugging advertising garbage.
The future is our industry and our children won't have much interest in it if these bastards keep telling them it's the Great Evil.
I can't even keep track of these environmental occassions anymore. I know there was recently an Earth Day. Is there a Tree Day too? And there was this thing where everyone turned their lights off for awhile to save the seals or sick puppies or polars bears I think. Christ.
So here's my plan to fight these watermelons (green on the outside, red on the inside; I know, it isn't clever but I enjoy it). For every anti-industry holiday they throw at us, I'm going to corrupt one child by introducing him or her to some simple principles of economics, thus damning them forever to a life of money-grubbing capitalistic enterprise. That ought to show the hippies.
i bet your choice of toxic (i want all the little animals to die) green wasn´t random
Cheers
Ugh... that logo looks like what i left in the toilet this morning. At least i had the courtesy to flush.
Earth day is just Easter - they're both from pagan religious cults.
Because we are just too intellectually honest to try to feign like we give a damn or fall for this politically correct BS.
The thing is, companies aren't in the business of telling the truth. They're in the business of making money. And if Americans would rather be lied to so they can feel good about how eco-friendly they believe themselves to be, then that demand must be supplied, because that's the moral thing to do.
As my old boss used to say, "I'm paying you, so you'll do it the way I like, not the way you think is best!"
I do appreciate the green, btw.
Some of these big companies do have an incentive to "go green" so-to-speak with alternative energy technologies precisely because they are not profitable, but they know they will be subsidized (and Big Business loves subsidies!).
British Petroleum, now "Beyond Petroleum," is one such an example. So was Enron, but they collapsed.
One thing that REALLY bugs me is how these environmental types act as if nature is some natural paradise filled with bunny rabbits and butterflies. I'd like to see these people go into a rainforest with all the bugs and snakes, or go try climbing a mountain, or go out to sea on a little sailboat, they'll see how "loving" nature really is.
You know the "green" thing bothers me NOT 1/10 of a % so much as the obvious bullsh!t.
e.g. When "journalists" broadcast "global warming"/ "Climate change" stories that are so obviously full of craptaculous science or dubious statistics that *I* can debunk them from my couch without even listening to the end.
Hey, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt, but there has to be room for it.
But I have to agree, as a engineer it offends me to see resources wasted, so things being "green" i.e. more efficient, appeals to me. But the stupid cynicism and greenyness - when you KNOW the only real reason for being greener than thou, is that it SAVES THEM MONEY is tough to take.
BTW, I am no hater of the environment, I love the oceans, and mountains, and forests, and all that, nature is very beautiful, but beauty doesn't mean loving, and I do not ascribe any kind of religious view towards nature the way the enviros do.
"Going Green" is the modern equivalent of the Che Guevara T-shirt IMO.
Happy Vladimir Lenin's Birthday, ummm, I mean Earth Day.
Coincidence? I think not.
You missed your calling: you should have been a marketer.
This is off-topic, but I thought you'd enjoy this.
You could have been an advertising copywriter. Nice.
Social Engineering (global brainwashing) ain't it great! The masses must be controlled. We're rapidly approaching the point where it's against the law TO NOT BE GREEN! Even after turning my TV off, the Green BS is still rammed down my throat. Mother Earth is the new religion. They're going to force us to worship her whether we like it or not.
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