The Captain's Agate Production

As many of you know, your Captain has many and varied hobbies and interests. He is the only ballroom dancing, salsa dancing, economist in the Twin Cities, but he is also a fossil hunter extraordinaire, a motorcyclist, an author (ahem), runner, gold-panner and all around cool guy. However, because I don't care to bore you, I have left my agate cutting and polishing out of the Capposphere on account I deem it one of the more nerdy hobbies I have. Only if I find an elusive and valuable "fairburn" agate do I mention it, otherwise (since agates are quite common) I leave my stone cutting and jewelry making out of the economics world.

However, the illustrious Natasha, after seeing a batch of agates I have made for a local jeweler DEMANDED I put these on the blog. I started to contest I shouldn't and on top of which I really didn't want to because I want to play Kane and Lynch 2, which then resulted in an argument that I knew I wasn't going to win and so I've decided to just put them here to make everybody happy (and to go the path of least resistance).



In the mean time click on Natasha to the right and donate some money to her heels and ammo fund.

The Role Alcohol Plays in the American Conservative Movement

Understand that arguably the most important lesson you can learn in life is that it ends. And since it ends, why waste it worrying about things outside of your control.

Not to sound too macabre about the prospects of the country or the prospects of conservatism or the prospects of just plain and simple people who wish to excel instead of parasite during their finite lives, but basically, in the long term it doesn't look good. If you are a conservative you face a population that is increasingly spoiled, lazy, slothful, and worst of all, ignorant. They do not understand how the real world works, how the economy works and elect soothe sayers like the likes of Barack Obama or any other nickle and dime democrat that comes along and promises them puppies and money and flowers and the always available unicorn. Try as you might to convince them other wise and instill a milligram of sense or reality into them, they are too wedded to their "something for nothing" ideology and you are relegated to sit and watch the US collapse.

This is where the alcohol comes in.

Remember, the most important lesson you can learn in life is that it ends. This forces a choice upon you which I believe is the foundation to Dennis Prager's "Happiness Hour." You can either enjoy life or worry about it.

This is harder than it sounds, especially for conservatives. The reason why is that conservatives by and large care more about the country, their fellow man and society than their leftist counterparts do. Instead of just "saying" they want to do good things and do what's best for their children, and then go protest because they're bored and looking for something to do, they actually go the extra step and dedicate the through and "think-through-it-ness" that is required to determine whether certain policies will improve or worsen society. They don't just regurgitate bumper stickers such as "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer," they actually study economics and history to find out how to make everybody richer. The don't just go with their "feeling" or what they "think," they go out and actually find out the statistics, data and facts so that they KNOW.

With such a mentality, it's hard for conservatives to "let go" and just "enjoy the decline." I myself am guilty of this as I see this nation which once had a glorious past and now must watch it decline simply because its stewards (ie-the people) are spoiled, fat and lazy on our forefathers' success and therefore still write, blog, worry, fret about it today.

However, in the end I (as well as all of you) have to realize the reality of the situation. Too many stupid and ignorant people are in the country and have the right to vote. They don't care to look at the budget. They don't care to study history. They don't care to apply a level of intellectual honesty about them. They just want to say "warm fuzzies for everyone," "more money for schools/health care/the poor," "make the rich pay their fair share," not figure out how to pay for it, and then go back to watching "Glee" or "American Idol" while living off of borrowed money and producing nothing of real economic worth.

Now you can try to change this situation. YOu can try to point out the obvious. And you can try to point out the truth. But in the end you'll just be called a bigot, a racist, a neo-facist, or just a plain ole poopy head because NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT.

Ergo, what do you do with your finite life?

Well, starting up the next Standard Oil isn't an option.

Working hard and establishing a career isn't an option.

Working a normal amount and enjoying a normal family isn't even an option.

The only option left is to enjoy what remains of life. To feed off the remaining carcass of the now economically dead and defunct United States. To savor what meat has not spoiled and enjoy life to its fullest. And what better way to do that, while numbing the pain of watching the former greatest nation on the planet destroy itself than drinking?

That is why the Captain endorses the Drunken Conservatives.

The Drunken Conservatives are true economists at heart, because they know to maximize their utility and enjoy life.

They realize that they have an obligation to fight for what is right, to fight for the truth, and to fight for a future in which maybe the US isn't collapsing, but at the same time are not going to sacrifice what precious finite time they have on this planet worrying about something outside of their control. They are going to drink. They are going to enjoy life. They're going to kiss girls and they're not going to hyphenate their names. And there's nothing leftists or liberals can do to lessen that experience.

So visit the Drunken Conservatives.

Oh, and enjoy the decline!

Mandatory Reading for 14 Year Old Boys

It's lengthy, but certainly worth it. I don't necessarily agree with everything listed, but what I do agree with and why I posted it is because this is essentially the "Father Son Talk" that needs to happen today, but doesn't, simply because in the past there was no need for it.

Not to beget pity for the men of my age, but we were the first ones thrown into battle on this one and without a rifle and no intelligence. The above article would certainly arm the young men of today with some armament and therefore some hope of having a much more productive approach to courtship as they age.

Doctorate in English

Ah, majoring in a field where 99% of the population already has mastered the subject;

Facts of Capitalism!

What is amazing is that the first part of this series has 5,500 hits and this only has 1,100 hits.

PEOPLE WATCH THE WHOLE THING. The data is in the later parts like this one;

The Death of Men...Again

This is a long and lengthy analysis here written about another even longer article here. But in short it's one of the now common - "are men men anymore and are women beomcing the new men. And men are so stupid that they aren't earning degrees. How do we get men to work again? If only we knew?" etc. etc.

I will only add these two minor points that people keep failing to observe about this "death of man/mancession" phenomena;

1. PLEASE STOP WITH THE "WOMEN NOW EARN THE MAJORITY OF DEGREES" BS! They earn the majority of (sorry to say it, but it's true) worthless degrees. Yes, fine, wonderful. Masters in Communications. Masters in Social Work. Masters in Nose Picking. Yes, fine, you're all awarded degrees. Warm fuzzies for everyone! We're all winners!!!! Wow, can I get a degree in "Women's Studies?" Oh, no, wait, my brain would explode from the mundacity and idiocy of earning such a worthless degree because you're not learning anything nor will it serve you in searching for employment. Matter of fact all it will do is saddle some poor women with college debt with no increasing prospects for employment in the future.

Men still outrank women 4-1 in engineering and the sciences. Degrees that actually matter and have a practical application outside academia. Please stop with the "women out earning degrees" stuff unless you're going to talk about degree that translate into increased earnings and job prospects.

2. As the economy shifts from a private sector, capitalist based system to a public sector, socialist based system, of course women are going to become more prominent and higher earning than men. They major in the corresponding fields for government work. And given how the country keeps voting in more government spending and veritable socialists, it's going to continue to be a booming industry for women. Ironically, what's great about this is as the goverment grows and crowds out the private sector, it will be more common to see the "mechanic husband" with his highly paid wife who works at the social services department at the state making $80,000 and a pension that dwarfs his non-existent one. THat may sound "bad" for the once glorious male, but to quote Steve Martin from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels;

"I say it's time for a change. I say let them take care of us for a while!"

In the end, though ultimately, the economy will have to return to men or at least "manly" things because society cannot live off of an economy where everybody is a social worker or an elementary school teacher. People still want food, clothing, shelter, cars, Ipods, computers and electronics and protection. Gee, I wonder who specializes in the production of those things?

In the meantime, you know what to do;

Enjoy the decline, gentlemen. Enjoy that decline!

When Liberals Try to Establish a Free Market

Wow, that's some kick ass liquidity there guys!

Just more proof it's never really been about "global warming" as much as it is a scam and a means to bring down the US. If people WERE serious about global warming then the above screenshot would be filled with historical data and price changes. Alas it is not and ergo economic proof global warming (at least the carbon credits aspect of it) was a scam.

hat tip

Can't Figure Out Why Newsweak is Losing Money

Cripes

Minneapolis, San Francisco, and Any Other Major Cities

I have said it before and I shall say it again;

Property taxes is the single largest unidentified threat to property prices and will undermine the housing and commercial property markets.

The reason is simple;

Cash flow appraisal techniques.

Understand what gives an asset (be it a house, a stock or whatever) value is the profits it generates. The cash flow it generates.

That's the ONLY reason any asset has value -because it can generate profits.

If your profits are slowly, but surely eroded away through taxation, you are eroding the one thing that gives the asset value. And ergo why, when the appraiser (or potential buyers) comes by to appraise your house, your rental property or your commercial property and sees property taxes lop off 60% AND INCREASING of your profits the remaining pittance of cash flow will not rationalize a highly valued price.

The ramifications go beyond the poor owner who gets less and less of the rental income.

Imagine what will happen to the bank's collateral.

Banks would be wise to start looking at the municipal government's budgets before accepting certain properties as collateral.

Enjoy the decline!

Absolutely Brilliant

HAR!!!

Good Thing Guns are Outlawed in Sweden

Otherwise they'd have shootings...oh, wait!

Recession Medicine

A savvy Captain in his 20 something lieutenant youth would have plagiarized the lyrics from this song to make it look like he wrote a poem for a fair lass who was the object of his affection.




Now I just play video games.

People Who Will Never Save a Miner

Cripes.

Nor will they ever contribute an ounce of genuine real production to society, because, it's all about the crusade people. It's all about the crusade.

"I Read The Economist"

As older readers know I once religiously subscribed to and supported The Economist.

That is until they endorsed Barack Obama.

It was such an appalling display of a once great magazine aiming to boost their subscribership by sacrificing their standards so they could appeal to a fad and a brainwashed mass that I ended my then 11 year subscription to the magazine. It called into question the entire purpose and integrity of The Economist. Why would anybody, who was at least intellectually honest and cared about economic reality, subscribe to what had ultimately and quickly become tripe?

Well, if you look at an old post I had, it once again shows you the ole Captain might know what he's talking about.

The Economist is nothing but a biased, albeit, highly dressed up, left wing rag. Their readership is not about advancing economies and increasing standards of living and helping out humanity, it's about purchasing "The Economist" so they can say to their other UN diplomats and dignitaries that "they read "The Economist"" and sound intelligent. It's for liberal arts students to avoid real debate and say, "they read the economist" which then makes them the smartest person in the room. It's for middle aged people who decide to "upgrade" from the local paper and buck for a promotion when their manager realizes "Hey, he's reading THe Economist!"

Understand The Economist is NOT a legitimate publication. It is simply a "badge of honor" somebody can buy to make themselves sound intellectual. It's like buying a degree from a degree mill. You are better served reading various independent blogs and getting your economic data from economic databases than you are reading The Economist because "The Economist" (despite its name) isn't anything approaching what a real economist would do.

To remind you of this, I need not do anything else than post this chart;



Thus is the typical "Economist" subscriber and why you might as well not even bother ever subscribing to it. Because if you couldn't predict Obama would be bad for the US, then what kind of "economist" were you?

Answer - a shill

Recession Medicine

Left Wing Labor Economics

Because to them 0 jobs that pay $100,000 a year is better than 75 jobs that pay $25,000 per year.

Because There's No Faith in the Future

I love this chart.


You couldn't have a bigger stimulus than this to prompt investment and economic growth. Interest rates have never been lower (since the Fed started tracking 30 year mortgage rates) and housing prices are a mere fraction of what they were a year ago.

The problem is why isn't this translating into economic growth or at least a stabilizing factor in the housing market? I'll give you the answer;

There's no real hope.

You see, in order for a person to take on a large purchase such as a house and a large responsibility such as a 30 year mortgage, they have to have faith that their investment is going to pay off in the end. Not that the house is going to go up in value, but that it doesn't tank in value either. You throw in property taxes that continually go up, property maintenance, insurance, etc., you can see why people are a bit leery of buying a house. It's a liability, not an asset.

Go on the investment side and you see another angle. Banks won't even loan money out in the first place. Why? Because they're not certain about the economic future of the nation. Still stinging from the housing collapse (not to mention this newest "signing scandal"), they are reluctant to loan money out for housing. Anybody try to refinance their homes recently at these historically low interest rate? I'm sure some of you have only to be denied because you;

1. Were self-employed.
2. Had a decrease in your income
3. Wore blue socks on Tuesdays

Running scared from the housing crisis, banks are now perhaps OVERLY cautious and are just keeping their capital ratios close to their hearts.

Then there's the business side of things. Well if home buyers can't get financed, then certainly businesses and entrepreneurs will!

Heh, heh. Sadly they see no reason to invest because once again, there does not seem to be any genuine hope or faith in the future economy. They might go and invest in China. They might go and invest in Chile. They might go and invest in Brazil. But why invest in Japan-Circa-1990-Part II?

You see, you can have all the "stimulus" you want and pretty words from Barry and low interest rates, but without faith in the future of the economy, nobody is going to avail themselves of these opportunities because the prospects of an adequate ROI doesn't warrant it. Matter of fact, if the cost of debt capital is 3.5%, that implies investors and businesses don't even expect that paltry of an amount in today's economic climate.

At this point I would normally go on about how eliminating the corporate tax rate and making it constitutionally PERMANENT would flood the economy with real investment and hope for the future. But of course this is like shouting into the hurricane. My readers understand the reason for such a policy, but it is the masses of idiotic Americans who have been brainwashed to loathe those "evil" corporations.

And so I merely just point out the economic humor and irony of seeing interest rates so low, yet no growth and then laugh at the people who wonder why there isn't any economic growth, who in the same breathe blame the "corporations" for all their problems and want nothing more than to "make them pay their fair share" (all while wondering why their 401k isn't going up).

Enjoy the decline!

Keep Dodging Those Bullets, Men

Keep dodging them bullets.

For the Cheap Seats

I don't really get worked up anymore because no matter how factual the above information is, the population in general is too damn lazy to;

1. Look up these figures themselves
2. Educate themselves about the finances of the country
3. Bother themselves worrying about the future finances of the country because until the lights go out and there's bread lines, they will maintain the mentality, "we're the US! We always get out of trouble!"

Alas why I fish and play video games.

I Thank Thee, Bernanke

for helping contribute to all my dollar-short positions.

Enjoy the decline!

Hurray for Chile!

I want to thank all the sociology majors, women's studies majors, philosophy majors and communications majors that played an important role in rescuing those poor miners...

oh wait.

ht

Why America Hates Tony Stark

I wish I had more time to delve into this, but since I swore I would go Galt and enjoy life, I cannot. I bought "Red Dead Redemption" and it's a great video game, so here's the quick one-two on this and then it's off to X-Box 360 Land.

You are all familiar with my very scary chart showing the "20 year rolling average" of RGDP growth slowing down from 4.5% in the 40's and 50's to 2.5% today. The consequences of such a deceleration in growth being obvious in that we frankly won't be able to pay for everything we've promised ourselves in the future, not to mention nobody's 401k's and IRA is going to be growing at 12.% a year like they'd hope. However, what is also interesting is the volatility of that economic growth. Like the growth itself the volatility or standard deviation of economic growth over a 20 year average has been decreasing as well.


This is to due to many things which Red Dead Redemption will be preventing me from going into in more detail, but I shall list the primary ones here;

1. An increase in government as a percent of the economy - government does not boom or bust like the economy, it's been slowly and consistently growing which lessens the variance in economic growth.

2. Laws and lawsuits which have no only made things more "fair" but in the process has also slowed economic growth (EEOC compliance, requiring maternity leave, various environmental regulations.

3. Americans have just plain become more cowardly as time has gone on following the mantra "safety at all costs." Nobody takes risks any more, heck most people DEMAND a risk free world forcing their kids to wear helmets all the time, nobody is allowed to get into fights, no kid is allowed to go run around the other kids neighborhood in fear of getting kidnapped and if we have to sacrifice a little economic growth, not to mention brainwash our children into being tepid, meek, emasculated people when they grow up, that's fine.

4. On a somewhat related note, because of this cowardice, you now have a labor force where "conformance over performance" is the norm. Brought up not to think, let alone have any moral caliber about you, people "don't rock the boat" in fear of a law suit or losing their job and will gladly sacrifice the profitability and viability of their employer and just "do what they're told." Innovation is not rewarded, and is if anything a threat against an aging tranche of management whose skills are deteriorating. More value is placed on getting an MBA in that it shows you can jump through a hoop vs. delivering any kind of real leadership or great ideas you might have. And then we all sit there and wonder why all these corporations are losing money and the economy isn't turning around.

Of course the simple solution is "WWTSD?" What would Tony Stark Do?




Well, he'd kick ass, take names, create some great stuff, say to hell with regulations and environmental concerns, PROBABLY BE SO BOLD AS TO KISS A GIRL OR TWO WITH NO REGARD TO THE PROPRIETY OF IT and do what Americans did back in the Rockefeller and Edison days.

But of course that would increase the standard deviation of economic growth, and in today's stability-addicted, safety at all costs economic mind-set of the American people, "I'm sorry Mr. Stark, your business methods are just a bit too abrasive for our tastes. We suggest you find employment elsewhere. We wish you luck in your job search."

Enjoy the decline!

Die WORTHLESS DEGREES! DIE!!!

Heh heh.

But what is richly ironic is if you were to ask those majoring in the "humanities" this question;

"List the top 5 things you want to buy or purchase in the next month"

they would list things that are NOT produced by humanities majors.

I guarantee you that they would list things like;

1. Ipad
2. Iphone
3. XBox
4. Sushi
5. Clothes

What is further ironic, if not hilarious, they would be unable to link this as to why there is no demand for "humanities majors" and why they can't find jobs.

ht

Work Smarter, Not Harder...Or Else

Bucktown and I had been going back and forth about just how much a threat foreign labor (locally here, illegal or not, or labor located overseas) was to US workers. Good intentioned and concerned as he should be, the point I tried to convey to Bucktown (and as I do all aspiring economists), was that competition from foreign labor really doesn’t matter in that the VAST majority of wealth that has been created over human history doesn’t come from working harder, but smarter. ie – Jose may be willing to work 25% longer and for 40% less than John, but what will really make John richer is when John CREATES or INNOVATES a new way of working or building widgets or replacing widgets all together with a new invention.

It is creation and innovation that is the true producers of wealth and it is what America has specialized in since its existence which has given us our (soon-to-be-lost I predict) preeminent position in this world. That and we work more than most people didn’t hurt either.



But to prove the importance of working smarter and not harder, allow me to introduce the concept of “multi-factor productivity” or MFP.

GDP growth is chalked up to increases in the use of capital and labor. When you use more labor and more capital, you’ll get more GDP.

However, when disseminated, changes in labor and capital doesn’t fully explain all the economic growth that occurs. The residual is chalked up to “MFP.”

MFP is basically any efficiencies gained BEYOND using more labor and capital. A smart young operations manager could find a way to reorganize the conveyer belts to produce 10% more widgets without an increased use of labor or capital. A new chemical that costs only $20/ton may replace the need for two chemicals that cost $50/ton. Or a technological invention could completely replace an industry and fundamentally change how it does business; NAPSTER, the assembly line, Windows come to mind. Even The Economist had an article recently showing how e-mail broadband, and PDF files are eliminating the need for bike couriers.

These cumulative increases in efficiency arising from either smarter use of current resources or a completely new innovation/technology is the true engine of economic growth and is why we should be focusing on working smarter…and why we should be pushing engineering and the sciences and funding less sociology, philosophy and hyphenated-studies majors…or at least severely mocking them.

When GDP growth rates are correlated with MFP growth rates, the correlations are impressive thus proving working smarter is an excellent predictor of producing wealth.






(note, I took out Ireland as it was the "outlier," but contest it should stay inbecause of the sophisticated economic argument that the Irish kick ass)

Thus, foreign labor and outsourcing is not a threat to anything but low skilled workers as labor truly is a commodity at the low skilled levels. And while it may be regrettable that some slothful union types are out of a job or are forced to compete, it is the economic reality that if America is to ensure its preeminent position in the world we better get back to doing what we do best; being the inventor of the world.

The Difference Between GDP and Utility

In short, paving a road that doesn't need paving is a pissing away of the taxpayer's dollars. That money could more easily be useful if you just return it to the people. Why?

You'll get the same amount of production which will show up in the all-important GDP figures AND people will actually get a use out of it.

This is the biggest fallacy facing expert economist's today. They're concerned too much about hollow numbers and not about standards of living.

Now, a shinny new nickel to the person who can explain why this won't help the economy, but will improve numbers.

ht

The Affirmative Action President

I love comparing Bush to Obama during their first term, because if you recall correctly BOTH inherited recessions from their predecessors. I also love the comparison because the media would just BASH Bush because the economy was not "recovering quick enough" AND ALWAYS said it was "the worst economy in 50 years."

In short it shows the hypocrisy of the left.

But, this is great because it shows you just how low the bar has been set for Mr. Obama.


Ergo, I believe Mr. Obama should hence forth be called "The Affirmative Action President."

I now patiently await for the media to comply and explain to the masses why Obama has it "tougher" than Bush.

Looking for a Bubble

Cripes.



We lose 95,000 jobs and the stock market goes UP because (get ready for the Ivy League Idiot-speak)...

"it will prompt the Federal Reserve to spur economic growth."

Because as we all know economic growth doesn't come from industrious individuals, innovative creators and inventors, hard work or the desire to pursue life, liberty and happiness.

No, it comes from the "Magical Federal Reserve Fairies" who just waive their magic wands and then POOF! Economic growth!

Why, it's so simple, why didn't we think of this before! The federal reserve will just "spur economic growth!"

Of course, you morons out there who aren't Ivy League economists like Paul Krugman or Wall Street gurus like Dick Fuld are too stupid to understand how this all works. But thankfully you have us in charge to "spur economic growth."

Pour yourself a martini and enjoy the decline.

Franny Armstrong 2

I had taken a huge risk and went out on a limb and predicted according to my crusaderism philosophy that Franny Armstrong;

1. Majored in a worthless subject
2. Never worked a real job in the real world
3. Was from the middle class or richer.

Immediately the Cappy Capites went out and found out that.

1. Zoology
2. Correct.

But her socio economic background was a bit more difficult to peg down.

Understand though, that in order to be a crusader you need to have enough money financing you so you don't have to worry about things like;

rent
food
clothing
shelter
gas

The crusader mentality CANNOT form under an environment where you have to be an adult and support yourself, because in supporting yourself you immediately know how the real world works and are frankly too busy to pursue worthless pursuits like what Franny has done.

Well, thanks to our European Bureau we find out she is "an upper middle class spoiled brat."

Enjoy the Decline!

Heh heh.

So how's the Keynesian stimulus working for ya?

I would go into a tirade of "I told you so," but the left is so far gone they will actually rationalize this away because (and understand the logic here) it is more important in their minds that they are right than the livelihood and health of their country and fellow countrymen.

Enjoy the decline!

Why Most People Go Galt

As you know I have gone Galt.

I work as little as I can. I am trying to make less than $30,000 per year (not too hard in this economy). And I have gone back to school. I have acquired no assets which can be taxed or taken from me. And in essence have enjoyed a hell of a lot of free time and vacation time.

In short I am out of the game and refuse to contribute anything to society be it either through taxation or production. Admittedly, I am more of the fringe elements in this country, but consider what would happen to society if most productive people had the epiphany I've had and realized their time is worth more than the pittance of money the government will let you have.

But contrast this current state with me in my youth, and it is night and day. Back then I would work my ass off. 80 hour work weeks were regular for me. Overtime pay as well as the added employment security that came with dedicating myself to my employer resulted in a ton of economic production from myself (as well as tens of thousands of additional tax dollars paid to into the government coffers).

What is interesting though is that it is the "overtime" aspect of economic production that is really the only thing that will get an economy booming again. You don't dedicate yourself to overtime unless you view there is a future or a benefit to it (in addition to the over time pay). However, if you are punished because of progressive taxation on your overtime income and you see no economic future, therefore why would you do such a stupid thing as essentially committing yourself to slavery? Over time, which is precisely what the economy needs, does not make any economic sense.

So you understand when I say, "enjoy the decline" I really mean, I want you to ENJOY the free time forced upon you by the decline. Because, well, you don't have any other choice.

Franny Armstrong

Franny, as you may or may not know is the veritable fool that put together that horrendous video for "Campaign 1010" where they're blowing people up.

Now, I did not read the article above, I just looked at her picture and I think it's once again time to play....

"What Can the Captain Guess?"

Given what we know about the disease known as Crusaderism (yes, watch the whole damn thing, just pour yourself a martini first) and young Ms. Franny is obviously infected by it, I shall go out on a limb and predict;

1. She majored in a worthless subject
2. She has little to no real world or private sector experience
3. Her entire career is constituted of activism which is just a euphemism for avoiding real work
4. She is from a family that is not poor, probably well off to the point she could pursue such lofty and arrogant endeavors as to tell the rest of us how to live our lives.

Am I right?

Missing the Boat

And I don't mean recently. I mean like she JUST showed up at the docks two minutes ago, looking at her watch, while the boat left port about 30 years ago, which matter of fact has probably been scrapped at the Bangladeshi boat yards.

There is also an element of "wanting my cake and eating it too" to her thinking (or perhaps, lack thereof.

So, once again, ergo I think it's time for another "Dating Stories of the Captain" so that we all may learn, ESPECIALLY women, and genuinely improve our lives (by avoiding the Captain's mistakes).

Long ago, your Captain was a naive, youthful, idealistic lieutenant. Though battle-hardened and having a few scars to evidence his experience, he was at the perfect balance of maturity and realism countered with a healthy amount of hope, optimism and a belief in the right kind of romance triggered by the right kind of girl.

He found her.

In a dance class of his. Cute as a button. Very smart. But more importantly, there was that chemistry that just doesn't come along that frequently (matter of fact, he hadn't ever experienced anything like up to that point in his life).

You would think that with such chemistry and the stars aligning, etc., that this would be an easy plane to land for the ole Captain. However, there was just one little problem. She was a STRINGENT Christian and I was an agnostic.

Understand, this was the only hiccup.

She was completely enamored with me, and I with her (as proof, look at the economics poem I wrote for her). However, for 6 months she fought every NATURAL, BIOLOGICAL drive and instinct she had to kiss me and go out with me, because of one passage from the bible that has ruined more potential happy couples than anything else - 2nd Corinthinians 6:14

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"

Translation? If he isn't a Christian, then you CANNOT date him (let alone marry the guy).

It was a sad situation. It was more than one conversation where she would break down crying as she could not reconcile St. Paul's words to the Corinthians with her natural, visceral attraction to me and my agnosticism. And try as I might to point out the idiocy of listening to a doctrine that has been translated over 2,000 years ago across 4 different languages (one of which is dead now) as well as the fact that "what if there's a chance, Christianity might not be the "100% correct religion," she would have no part of it. She had her check list. She was resolute. The Lord would provide.

Aside from this very large disagreement, there was only one other disagreement we had. It was nowhere near as major nor deal-breaking, but it did provide me some insight later on in life that explained to me what was really going on;

She found my version of sexuality, intimacy and romance revolting.

I, like any other red-blooded American male, had NO SHAME of admitting that it would be GRAND to come home from a hard day's work and there, unbeknownst to me was my wife/girlfriend/significant other in a French Maid outfit with a martini in one hand, a cigar in the other and Frank Sinatra playing in the background. Not every day of course, but to have a wife like that would be grand.

She found it not only revolting, but insulting.

"Why you would want your wife to degrade herself to such a level is beyond me. I find it to be more like slavery than anything else."

And thus like the author of the article, this girl completely missed the boat.

In the end I realized what was really happening. This girl wanted the best of BOTH worlds.

She wanted an alpha male, which explained her instinctive attraction to me (not to brag, but yeah, I'm pretty alpha). I didn't take crap. I spoke my mind. I would fight. I had passion. I did what I wanted. And I relented for no one and nothing. I supported myself and had never taken charity. I was a real man's man.

However, she also wanted the beta. The man who would collapse and say, "Paris is worth the mass." Who would deny his own beliefs and fake being a Christian. Who would submit to her, albeit intellectually dishonestly. And who would actually forfeit the life long American males' dream of a beautiful wife just simply dressing up all sexy and pampering him once in a while for what I presume would be a sex life solely for the purpose of making more Christians, not (heaven forbid!) for recreational purposes.

It is here that his love-ne'er-meant-to-be and the author of the article fail, and will continue to fail, because they do not understand one very simple rule about men;

Being alpha and being beta ARE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

A man CANNOT be both alpha and beta.

You get one or the other.

Now I know some women would prefer one over the other. And naturally you would like some elements of both. BUT YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE.

The nature of an alpha male is to be the leader. THis is the NATURAL STATE or at least INCLINATION or biological PREDISPOSITION FOR MEN. They are "MEN." They are MANLY. They will go and do manly things and have manly preferences. It is natural and biological and it is NOT OPTIONAL. Boys will be boys, no we don't need no freaking Ritalin. This is normal.

Then there are the beta men. They go against their nature because they think it will some how bring them an advantage. THis is certainly true. Patience, compromising, avoiding conflict are all life-increasing acts in threatening environments. But do not expect them to hold to principle, hold their ground or be MANLY because that results in conflict or a threat. And it doesn't even have to be a life-threatening conflict. Just conflict in general because they almost seem to prefer peace and agreement over their own inner desires. They will constantly ask you for your approval. They will constantly get permission first. They will not be the manly, rugged Steve McQueen character you all want to whisk you away on your motorcycle against your parents' wishes. They will be like Al Gore or Woody Alan.

The larger point is simply this ladies. You do not get your checklist because, frankly, no man in the 3 billion men on the planet meet it. Not because each trait unto itself is outlandish to expect or so rare, but a lot of them ARE mutually exclusive. What you have to ask yourself is do you want an alpha male (like a Ferrari, powerful, but expensive and fuel inefficient) or a beta male (like a PRius, high quality, good gas mileage, reliable, but no power). Because while you can't have the "perfect man," you CAN have a GOOD man (whether he's a beta or an alpha). ie- a good Chevy is better than the non-existent 700 HP V-12 Ferrari that gets 95 MPG with George Clooney in the passenger seat. Besides, last I checked the girl of long ago is still waiting for the strong alpha male, who is yet beta enough to abide by all of her requests. Apparently the Lord is not providing.

ht to the notifiers of this article.

No Pressure

This is not a joke. This was actually put together by the 1010 Campaign. They thought being truthful was not only funny, but would convince people to join them.

Ah, leftist activists and the mindless corporations all to eager to "go green" that finance them.