Monday, March 18, 2019

Asshole Consulting Live with Special Guest Matt Forney

Noon CST today.  Tune in!  Ask questions in da super chats.  Spread the word.  And as Matt Forney says "Give mammons."

Go Fund Me So I Don't Have to Fund My Own Damn Hobbies

A go fund me account for fat wedding dresses.


No.  Absolutely not.  That would close the wage gap.

I want to make pretty dressies for fatties!!!  Then have cappacinos with biscotti's with my girlfriends at the cafe!  Tee hee! I 'm an entrepreneur!!!

Students Get in Trouble for Creating Sexual Consent App

Students create app that gets consent to protect women from rape.

Students get in trouble.

Cappy recommends reading this book because these leftists and feminists want men dead, in jail, or slaving away for being a man.

Friday, March 15, 2019

The Clarey Podcast #283 - The "Cappy's Dream Home No More" Episode

Cappy and DT broadcast from the Hunker Bunker as they discuss

DT's framed Jennifer Aniston picture from college
AOC is not attractive.
"He'll Land on His Feet."
escaping Minnesota,
Cappy's dream home dreams destroyed,
self-loathing white people and more!

in THIS EPISODE of The Clarey Podcast!
MP3 here.

Support the show by going here. 

Buy THE BEST OF CAPPY in his latest compilation book!

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Loud, Drunk, Middle Aged Women

I'm sure they were all polite angels, behaving perfectly well, and not one of them were screeching or yelling in that painful middle aged woman cackling voice.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Revenge of the English Majors

I don't think the English language is robust or thorough enough for me to convey my hatred, despisement, and loathing of English majors.  They are first and foremost lazy people who decide to major in a language they're already fluent in by the age of 4.  They are intellectual inferiors who think studying a subject to the point of atomic levels of anal retentive detail is a legitimate endeavor.  And worst of all they are fascist tyrants who lord their technical, but impractical, knowledge of petty rules and laws of a "language" over the rest of us who use the language to live our lives, not make it our lives, because we have lives...unlike English majors.

I cannot overstate how inferior English majors are or how much I hate their loathesome and laughably inferior selves.

But they are getting their revenge.  And in a way most of you have no clue about.

Normally and in the past English majors got their revenge upon society by torturing young children in the public schools.  Completely unemployable and worthless elsewhere, America's English majors taught "English" to 100% conversant and fluent English speaking kids.  Having no real value they focused on technicalities like the difference between adverbs and adjectives (I, as a professional author, still don't know the difference) and would likely masturbate themselves as they awarded C's and D's to young 10 year old children who were smarter and superior to them but still couldn't identify "dangling participles" or other truly irrelevant and pointless shit nobody ever cared about.  Most of these teachers were females and spinsters because to be something of worth in society takes effort, and ergo it's no shock the majority of English teachers were fat, bloated, middled aged women because to be comely and attractive takes effort.  But still, they got their retaliatory pound of flesh by essentially abusing the children of those who managed to breed, grating their skin over the pointless minutiae of the rules of English.

It wasn't fair, but these (predominantly) women ended up paying for their laziness and sloth.  They were fat.  They were miserable.  No man loved them.  No man wanted them.  All students hated them.  And truly, what society appreciates a nag, constantly pointing out your technical incorrectnesses?  These women died lonely, alone, and unloved, and I cannot think of a better prison sentence than that.  But do not think just because the last baby boomer English teacher spinster may be breathing her last breath at an unvisited government funded nursing home that the scourge of English majors has left us.  They are coming back in force.  And in an area you, I, and everybody else never asked for.

Social media.

I was first tipped off to the return of the English majors when nearly every book I wrote was flagged as having "errors" when KDP (aka "Kindle") was merged with Createspace (AKA "Amazon").  Never mind some of these books have been published for over a decade.  Thoroughly and adequately gone over by my wonderful staff of editors and friends.  And never mind nobody who purchased the books had an actual complaint.  No, some nitwit got a burr in their saddle and decided to go over ALL of my books and point out, via constant e-mail reminder, that there was a missing word, a missing comma, an errant "the" in my books.  And so I had to waste precious amounts of my time going online and correcting these minor typos that nobody ever complained about except Amazon.

But then it dawned on me.  It wasn't Amazon per se.  It certainly wasn't my readers.  But the anal retentive details, the complaining and nagging had the distinct genetic mark of my most loathed and detested enemy - english teachers.  It hasn't been for 30 years I got so much lecturing, nagging, and sermoning that it dawned on me a horrific reality that Amazon is hiring English majors to go over every nook and cranny, every sentence and word, every punctuation mark and hyphen of my decade-and-change worth of literary work all to catch a mere fucking typo.  And this, sadly, is an English major's wet dream come true.

Because if every book I've ever written is now getting the 3rd degree, where will it end?  It's already well known that social media companies like Facebook and YouTube use "censors" to edit and audit nearly ALL social media posts (which I think is a pointless endeavor).  Amazon is obviously hiring people to go over every word I've published with a fine comb.  But my main concern is the caliber and type of people who they're employing and I'm afraid I have my answer. Because it isn't cool libertarian economics majors letting authors be to write what they want when they want.  It isn't engineering majors who don't care about the details as long as the logic, message, and purpose of the book is right.  It's the worst, most vile, most evil, and tyrannical group of anti-thinking people you could even put in charge of a Department of Censorship

English Majors.

And heaven help us.

Much as I appreciate Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and other social media giants being private companies, I also am aware of the damaging effects of monopolies.  And while I'm quite libertarian in allowing them to ban, prohibited or do pretty much whatever they want with their platforms, the concept of employing CENSORS is appalling and I think gives right to the government to break them up.  But when you make those censors NOT freedom-loving-libertarians who value disagreement over accord, who are usually prone to letting people say what they want to say, but put the veritable antithesis of "social-nazis" in the form of English Majors as your censors, then go straight to hell.  Because that is where your platform and company are going - straight to hell.

I would have liked to have seen nearly all English majors get what they deserve - unemployment.  Miserable unemployment while working at a cafe or bar.  Egomanics who are lazy on top of it deserve no better.  But now there is an entire industry that will gainfully employ English majors and that is the social media "Censor Industry."  The modern day STASI.  The modern day Gestapo.  You have a bunch of lazy ego maniacs who are now going to burden the rest of us productive adults, who are trying to convey concepts, ideas, thoughts, and visions, with their pointless technical knowledge of linguistic law.  Us real adults who are producing real thoughts and production now have to be burdened and bothered with our adjectives, adverbs, dangling participles and "wrong-think."  And what was once the truly great and truly open environment of the internet, self-publishing, authoring, and social media NOW we have to contend with a gestapo agent in our midst lest we have a minor typo in our book or speak something that is wrong-think and caused some precious snowflake to be "offended."

I hated my English teachers before in my K-12 education. They were truly evil women whose evil was only outdone by their worthlessness.  I'm glad most of them are dead and I'm glad most of them were never happy.  But you fucking English majoring nazis who are nothing more than modern day STASI are not only worthless, but evil on a whole new level.  At best you put your English-majoring-egos ahead of ideas and value nitpicking irrelevant typos in true genuises' works.  At worst you're anti-free speech nazis who comb over people's posts and comments on social media, eliminating them because you lack the intelligence to merely disagree with another person's opinion.  In the end though that's all you'll ever be - English majors.

Worthless, lazy, pieces of shit who could never write a book, never come up with an original idea, and can only get off by pointing out the irrelevant mistakes of others.
Check Out Aaron's Other Cool Shit!

Dick's Sporting Goods: Get Woke, Go Broke

I predict many future quarterly earnings missed.

Monday, March 11, 2019

Your Genetics Betray You

 I am not much of one to believe in fateism, destiny, or prescribed futures.  I believe in the individual.  I believe in choice.  I believe that a man is more or less in control of his own destiny as long as you don't live under tyranny.

However, this doesn't mean I don't believe in the environment, genetics, predisposition, or epigenetics.  I acknowledge our environment, our parents, and our genetic lineage set some hard rules, parameters and boundaries within our lives that we all must abide by simply because we have no choice.  I will most likely die from cancer.  My theoretical future children would be short.  But at the same time they would also be spectacularly brilliant as yours truly.  These external realities are simply the rules we must abide by and the sooner you realize, accept, and acknowledge that, the better you'll do in life over all.

But there is an interesting grey area that arises for every man out there (and perhaps women too, but I cannot testify to that).  And that is where your genetic lineage and history has sculpted into your hard-wired psyche that there is the "perfect woman."  A "true love."  Where a girl of a particular affliction, demeanor, candor, and character waltzes is, strikes you dumb, and you are all but helpless to fall for her.

So let me explain my theory as to why your genetics betray you.

I have no scientific proof. This is merely a theory.  But you, me, and everybody else is a product of millions of years of evolution, but more importantly, individual experiences of our thousands of forefathers.  Thousands of our forefathers saw saber tooth tigers and developed and honed the INCREDIBLE AND IMMEDIATE response to go into a defense mode, an attack mode, and do all that is within our ability to avoid getting killed by saber toothed tigers.  And just as those experiences repeated over time has resulted in an auto-matic genetic instinct that goes so fast we don't have the ability to understand it as it happens, so to do I argue somewhere in your lineage a great great great great grandfather of yours fell head over heels in love with some quaint, darling, dainty dame who was so beautiful, so perfect, so wonderful, your forefather had no choice to fall for her completely.

Normally, this is the point in time that we explain where the girl betrayed him.  Pulled the rug out from underneath him.  Pulled the ball out from Charlie Brown.  And thus your fore father learned his lesson.

But that didn't happen.

Somewhere, along your genetic lineage was a man who fell in true spectacular love with a woman, and even if it was a one off event, it was so powerful, so amazing, so true, that his experiences were thoroughly and forever scorched into your genetic lineage and psyche.  And if you think about the statistics and math of this nearly every single male has the genetic code of a forefather who found a true and wonderfully amazing woman.  And so powerful was that experience, 200, 500, 3,000 years later this genetic experience is now part of your psyche.  And not only part of your psyche today, but I would argue (as men are the eternal optimists) we now have part of our genetic code to go and find such a girl as they are so rare, but so valuable, we'll blow multiple generations of men to find merely one in a score of generations.

Every man reading this right now knows precisely what I'm talking about.

For example there was a redhead at a bar in St. Paul who, within the first 5 seconds of seeing her, an uncontrollable response came from my entire being saying "I need to have her." You no doubt have walked about the normal course of your day, minding your own business, when FLASH, BAAMM! ALAKAZAM! some girl who you hadn't even uttered a single word to commanded a psychological, physical, and uncontrollable emotional response from you.  And perhaps it wasn't coincidence, but a tortured circumstance where you were working with, studying next to, or otherwise placed near a girl that fired your up by her mere presence.  Not a single word needs be said. She has the traits, characteristics, and similarities to the woman your great great great forefather fell fore, and when you see said traits, his genetics fire up because that was the most enjoyable, lively, and purposed point of existence in ALL of your genetic lineage.

There's just one problem.  Your genetics betray you.

The red head I met in St. Paul no doubt had the characteristics and mannerisms that at one time fired the passions of a great great grandfather of mine somewhere in the past.  But she wasn't that amazing woman that forever scribed part of my genetic code.  She was another hipster, St. Paul "artist" who was dating a tatted up, unemployed loser who could only afford a bike in Minnesota for transportation.  She was a loser and constantly needed money from her elder sister.

The brunette you fell hard for, for reasons you can't understand, is also a single mom of three different fathers, loaded with student debt and an attitude that makes her insufferable today.  Yes, perhaps she walks the way the woman from 500 years ago walked that enthralled your great great great great great great grandfather, but that is not the same woman.

And yes, that latina goddess has the same eyes and demeanor as some woman who long ago in your genetic past made a forefather of yours slay a thousand men and truly made him happy.  But that is her eyes and demeanor.  Not her communist voting, her love for the state, or her adherence to feminism.  Like Afro-Samurai's dad, that is not your father.  That is something else.

It is a guarantee that, like me, you will meet more than one woman who shares some kind of genetic similarities to a truly amazing and wonderful woman that made a man's life in your genetic lineage one of the best lives ever.  The trick is to have your frontal cortex override your genetics and entire hindbrain and realize there is no such thing as "chemistry."  That woman that you "must have" is NOT the genetic angel and goddess from many generations past in your life, but a symbiant, a doppleganger, and nothing close.

Men today need to have the intelligence and independent thought to not let their genetics betray them.  YOu need to realize that the majority of women today are more concerned about their careers, educations, politics and themselves than you that it is nearly impossible to find the 1-in-a-million woman some past relative of yours had which prompts an idealistic epigenetic gene in you today.  The key is to immediately check yourself once you undescribably start falling for a girl when you haven't even spoken one word to her.  I'm not saying don't take the chance, but realize that what's happening is your forefathers genetics are speaking.  Not the girl.  Because once she does, you'll quickly find out she's not the goddess your genetics are screaming she is.

The trick is to be smarter than your genetics and assess her cooly and accurately.  Not emotionally.  And not genetically.
Amazon Affiliate

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Asshole Consulting Live - The "We Never Got to Any Requests" Episode

Cappy and Chad never get to any actual requests as they're too busy fielding super chats questions.  It's a SUPER PROFITABLE DAY for the guys!

Podcast here.
MP3 here.
YouTube Below.

Saturday, March 09, 2019

Gen X vs. The Baby Boomers Video

I forgot about this video and remembered when it came out striking a chord with me at a level I could not precisely understand.

Now I do in 100% totality.

Friday, March 08, 2019

Elizabeth Warren Calls to Break Up Big Tech

I am actually shocked because this is the first real thing the democrat party has offered that isn't simply taking other people's money or making producers' lives harder.

It also reminds me of how the democrats were wise to court the gay community, something at least libertarian republicans could have done had they not been beholden to the religious right.  Even with Trump the republicans just can't seem to grow a pair and get simple shit done.  Guess the democrats will win another one.

Asshole Consulting Live with Donovan Sharpe 3PM CST

Donovan Sharpe and myself discuss:

Anger management
50 year old women
"My sister spermjacked a guy"
Walking out on your lying boss.

Podcast here.
MP3 here.

YouTube below:

Thursday, March 07, 2019

If Not Men, Then What?

 What I love about feminism is its contradictory nature.  On one hand it claims to help women, but on the other hand what it advocates for women makes their lives horrifically worse, if not outright wastes of lives.

Education, for example, sucks.  Yes, it may lead to higher incomes.  Yes, it might make you "educated."  But it still takes inordinate amounts of time and money to attain.  It is not the panacea solution to all of life's problems, and more often than not leads to financial ruination, especially in the case of women since they tend to major in worthless subjects.  So, yes, women may all get college degrees, but usually they're just wasting their youth, time, and money, while also going into life-impairing debt to do so. 

Career is another example.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, the biggest con in human history was convincing women that working, commuting, and paying taxes was fun.  And not only fun, but the most important thing in life that gave you value.  Not your children.  Not your loved ones.  Not your spouse.  And not your family.  No, it was your Assistant Reserve Vice Diversity Assistant Deputy Director position at a non-profit.  Worse, at least a plurality of women's careers are completely pointless as they produce nothing of value.  Yes, there are female accountants and engineers and doctors and dentists, but for every one of these angels there's a score of non-profit, make-work, government type employees producing not one iota of GDP or value for society.  It's bad enough you've been duped into thinking work and paying taxes is fun.  It's tragic when your job is just a welfare program, but you still think you're a "professional."

Feminism's take on kids is another interesting example.  Since nearly all emphasis is on the individual, putting one's career and education first, everything else takes a back seat in a feminism-believing woman's life.  But this does nothing to quench the biological drive women have to breed.  Thankfully, they have all those aforementioned non-profit, social worker type women to raise and outsource their kids to, allowing them to scratch that biological itch, without having to actually raise their own children.  Perhaps I'm getting soft in my old age, but I would have thought being able to raise your kids would be one of the most important joys in life.  But apparently not because it's just the act of breeding, and then kicking the kids off to a nanny or daycare that seems to be all the rage with modern mothers.  Besides, we all know your career and education is more important than your own children.

And then there's feminism's hatred of women themselves.  What I mean by this is feminism does not celebrate being female or femininity.  Matter of fact feminism and feminists hate femininity.  And if you look at what feminists and women in general are pushing for, it is to become men.  They want to be men, they want men's jobs, they want men's careers, they even want to look and dress like men.  Which is all fine and good, but I ask "Well what's so bad about being a woman?  Don't you like being female?  I thought you were FEMINists.  Where's the feminine part?"  This irony I've never been able to figure out as women seem to hate being women.  But once again, feminism does nothing but harm women as it confuses millions of women to become something they're not, guaranteeing failure, misery, and psychopathy in the future.

But out of all the contradictions, self-harm, and self-delusional lies feminism has fooled women into buying, it's been their reprioritizing of men in their lives I find most amusing.  I say "repriortization" because not all women are the same when it comes to their feminist treatment of men.  Some outright hate men, blaming all their failures, bad decisions, stupid choices and consequences on men.  Slightly better is the mere villification of men where they are privileged, constantly oppressing women, and whose "toxic masculinity" make them the sworn enemy of women.  Slightly better than that is the "competitive and adversarial" treatment of men where you have to prove yourself to them and compete against them rather than work with them and support them.  And "at best" is the "accessory man" where they're needed to have a husband and family, but you don't value them any more than you do your children or your SUV, because afterall they are merely an accessory to your life.  But regardless of where you are on this scale, the point is men have been reprioritized from what was traditionally the number one thing in a woman's life to 3rd, 4th, 8th, or 227th, or dead last.  Men are rarely put at #1 any more.

But I have a simple question.  And one that I think men need to ask themselves as well as women.

If not men...then what?

There is a distinct difference I've noticed between the Red Pill/Manosphere community and their ideological opposite, feminism.  And that distinct difference is that these redpill men or "masculinists" still insist on working out, dieting, and improving themselves.  And the primary reason they strongly advocate self-improvement is because they still like women.  Women are still the number one thing in their lives.  And though they have a great and many qualms, criticisms, and outright complaints about women, they have not lied to themselves about whether women were the number one priority in their lives.  They acknowledge reality.  They acknowledge their biology.  They are true to themselves.  And thus they set forth on the path of self-improvement.

Feminists/modern women on the other hand have completely removed men from their priority list and in doing so have nothing but themselves to reflect on.  So the "self improvement" they pursue is not couched within the intention of finding a man or improving themselves as a woman (as that would be doing that for a man), but anything but.  Career, education, travel, "finding themselves," prada shoes, masters degrees, etc.  Warped and self-centered philosophies such as "fat acceptance" and body mutilation via tattoos and piercings.  Joining political crusades such as feminism, environmentalism, socialism, and veganism.  And like hell if they're ever going to hit the gym, join a hiking group, or put forth the effort to be classically feminine.  The result is an entire world where they are unanchored, listless, directionless, and purely materialistic.  But thank god, because at least you "didn't financially rely on a man" because apparently that is the cardinal sin of all young women today.

But my point is not one to highlight the obvious empirical evidence of women becoming miserable creatures since they put men in 985th place in their lives.  My point is to ask a simple question and hope the simple answer makes women (and men) realize what is most important in life - if not men, then what?

Biologically men and women are hard-wired and designed to pursue, fall in love, and have sex with one another.  Men and women are also designed PHYSICALLY to be complimentary to one another (I'd show feminists a penis and vagina diagram but that might be too complicated for them).  Men and women are also PSYCHOLOGICALLY designed to be complimentary to one another (men are weak where women are strong and vice versa).  And, I don't know if you noticed this, but when men and women get together little humans are usually the result.  The entire universe is telling men and women they need one another, are designed for one another, and should help one another....but women seem to think their Masters in Sociology is more important, oh, and men are oppressing them and need to be viewed as the enemy.

The key difference between today's masculinists and feminists is that at least the masculinists are not arrogant enough to believe they don't need, want, or like women.  They live in the real world.  They admit they want women in their lives because they at least know "well, what's the point with out them."  Feminists have not only convinced themselves, but nearly every western woman alive today that men are completely unnecessary.  And not only unnecessary, but usually a net negative in one's life.  And their indoctrination has been so thorough and complete I doubt this impasse will ever end within any of our lifetimes.  If Baby Boomer and Gen X women are any indication, women will ignore their biology and their hearts and double down on their feminist indoctrination, making the Franza box with cats a standard and not a stereotype well into the 2040's.

This then means that nobody is going to get what they really want and most of our lives will be wasted.  But this doesn't mean there won't be a clear winner and loser.  There is a consolation prize to win - sanity.  For while those men who acknowledged their biological reality and at least admitted they liked women, they may not get women in their lifetimes, but at least they will know why.  They will continue to self-improve, work out, be men for men's sake, but they will acknowledge and know that this just isn't their time.  Women at this point in history just didn't put men first, and so enjoy the decline for what you can.  Women, on the other hand, who subscribed to the lies of feminism, and put something as vapid and pointless as a career or taxes or their politics above all else will never know why they're miserable.  They will always think it's bad luck they "just can't find a man."  They will forever go into debt for degrees with negative ROI's.  They will alienate their children by divorcing their families and outsourcing their children.  And they will always view men as the enemy/adversary/competition, instead of the only thing that could really give them joy, happiness, and purpose in life.

GI Joe was right.  Knowing is half the battle.  And since this battle will be a draw, knowledge and the sanity that comes with it is all there is to win.
Check out Aaron's other cool stuff!!!

Tuesday, March 05, 2019

Socialist Lies Cause Pretty Deaths

As I get older and more misanthropic, I cannot care that most people who choose to put the government and socialism at the core of their value system end up killing themselves or drinking themselves to death.

Remember, your career and education are more important than anything else.  Except your politics, which is the only reason you have value and should live.  Put ALL of your value in your politics you were trained to have in school and make sure you have no other reasons to live beyond socialist politics.

The Clarey Podcast #290 - The Great One Visit Episode

Cappy and The Great One shoot the shit as Cappy crashes at The Great One's House.  They discuss hot Netherlandian field hockey girls, Adam Piggott, Captain Marvel, and much more.

Podcast here.
MP3 here.

Cappy's Horsetooth Reservoir Adventure

Cappy scoped out the Horsetooth Reservoir outside of Fort Collins, CO yesterday.  Slowly migrating back to the Northern Command.  Posts will return to normal upon my return.  A podcast with The Great One is being made.