Monday, October 31, 2005

A Very Cappy Cap Halloween

So Halloween always lands in the middle of busy season, which means my costume must accomodate not only party going, but largely ballroom/latin/swing dancing as well since I take my students on field trips. This Halloween was no exception. And since Halloween landed on a Monday, the previous weekend consisted of a party, a field trip and dancing.

The field trip was what taught me the very Captain Capitalism Lesson of the Day;

That I should have been born in 1920.

For the field trip was a costume party dance in scenic Hamel, Minnesota where the "Rockin' Hollywoods" a 1950's and 1960's coverband played the night away. Of course the VAST majority of people there were Baby Boomers and older. And my costume only served as a catalyst because it was a 100% vintage US Army Air Corps uniform from WWII.

And yes, I did look damn sexy.

The problem was that the few girls my age there wouldn't give me the time of day. I ask three girls to dance, all of which said no.

But there was a line as long as the social security queue of middle aged women looking me up and down, complimenting me and sometimes outright saying crass and lewd things! And I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, for I am a preacher's son and have these virgin ears.

Anyway, I left scenic Hamel and went to a party, and there the catalyst powers of my uniform ended, for this party was populated with more people my age, particularly a cute redhead that I haven't had a hard time looking at yet. And aside from the normal comments about "hey, nice costume" what few advances I made were more or less repelled. I may as well have dressed in blue jeans.

Home started calling and my couch was beckoning me so I left the party and went to bed.

Now today, Halloween proper, I had to go to the office, and there it is populated with mainly middle aged women. And without the booze supplied to their Hamel counterparts, their commentary was much more polite, but sincere and you could tell they were actually impressed that their friendly neighborhood capitalist cleaned up a bit.

The moral of the story; modern day chicks don't dig classy dudes. You could be Cary Grant in a major's uniform and they'd shug their shoulders and say, "eh."

Alas, there was one gal that dressed somewhat 40's which made for a good "Very Cappy Cap Halloween Picture."
So wishing you and yours a very happy Halloween. Feel free to e-mail your costume pictures and I'll throw them up here.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Who Could it be Now?

Remember that 80's song?

"Who can it be knocking at my door?
Stay away, don't come round here no more."

Or so the lyrics go.

Alas, 3 teenage girls beheaded in Indonesia.

Now, for 40 points and a chance at the Grand Prize, tell me who are the primary suspects;

a) Black Southern Baptists
b) White Protestants
c) Pakistani and Indian Hindus
d) Small Penis'ed Muslim Freaks

I will promptly remove this post once it is proven not to be "d"

The True Measure of Socialism

The Economist (which by now all you aspiring economists should be subscribing to by now for it is the easiest way to pick up chicks and impresses cool guys like me) comes out with this chart annually. One of the better ones out there.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Your Friendly Neighborhood Democrats

The post itself is good on it's own.

All I will add to it is that this further confirms my theory that members of the left are not as attractive as members on the right.

A New Tabloid - USA Today

Journalism majors are a joke. Just like theater majors and English majors and music majors.

Like you need to go to school for that.

The idiocy of these people. No, can't just go and practice on your own which is what will make you great.

No, you have to pay a s-load of money for a crappy degree to turn out tripe like this.

USA Today, I'll be expecting to see you in the check out line at the grocery store right next to Soap Opera Digest and People Magazine.

You verminous scum.

Like You Have a Choice

What I love the most about leftists is they think they have a choice when it comes to economics. Like they can stop globalization or somehow institute a massive welfare system without impairing the economic engine that would finance it or just "tax the rich" as if it's like turning on a light and then come to find out that it deters investment and the rich just move their money.

Same thing with Germans, the French and Italians.

Some of them think that somehow globalization and foreign competition is an "option."

Their stupidity rivals that of the unions in America who have bankrupted the airlines and put the US auto industry on their death bed.

My favorite quote in the whole thing is;

"The struggling economies of France, Italy and Germany worry that low-paid Poles will bring capitalist-style competitiveness that will jeopardize the welfare state"


Oh, don't worry about it. It's going to happen. The question is whether you can deal with it.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

For the Birds

OK, short post, two things and then to bed.

1. Why the hell with all the years of evolution and the obvious brains to fly in V-formation are the Canadian geese flying NORTH? It occured to me, particularly this year they're flying north most of the time. Are they hooking up to some jet stream that will inevitably head south? Any fowl experts out there let me know.

2. I'm mightily peeved at the men in the SE metro. I got, not 1, not 2, but 8 EXTRA FREAKING GIRLS in the dance class. 6 of which are married!

OK, look, guys, WTF? You married the girl, can you please sign up for the damn dance class with them to make them happy? I am amazing, but I can't handle 8 extra women at one shot that's why I have to bring my male friends to help me...and dont worry, these younger, stronger and better looking men will be more than happy to look after your wives. But seriously, it's always been an internal debate with me whether or not I would have an affair with a married woman. I cannot see how this would reflect any immorality on my part. Either the guy ain't paying her any attention or the girl is being philanderous. In either case, I can't see how it's my fault, yet that being said I'd just prefer not to get into the mess.

Furthermore, if the institution of marriage meant anything, I'd respect it. Now, it's almost like high school. Get married for two years, ehh, heck, get divorced. I might as well respect that as much as the girl in college you had a boyfriend overseas, wouldn't go out with me, but then managed to bang the guy immediately after I asked her out.

Time for sleep. 80 hours of continual contribution to GDP this week.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Another Cool Chart

This one from JMPP.

Made an overdue visit to her site and found an interesting chart.

She is rather adamant in her disgust with children. That being said, it seems I only have to wait another decade and a half by the time women my age start to get wise and not have children.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Why Men Make More $ Than Women - According to JTapp

A 50 50 mix of data downloaded from the US Department of Labor and some anecdotal evidenced shared by Justin.

And while I've yet to see statistics on the "urgent conference" or "women's lunch time habits" put out by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, I will concur that I've experienced similar things in my past work history, albeit anecdotally.

Still, I don't know one woman who has come close to matching my longest work day; 42 hours.

Whereas I can name 3 other men who have.

But again, I'm sure this is anecdotal too.


Heck, anybody else going to send in charts???

Was an ingenius idea of mine to put a $25 bounty up for the best chart submitted by a CC reader thereby allowing me to focusing on work and busy season. Alas JTapp seems to be the only one who submitted one.

I leave the competition open for the next week.

JTapp can go unchallenged and win the $25 and the much coveted picture of Cpt. Capitalism in a fine Goodwill purchased picture frame.

The Happy Carpenter

If you've ever done carpentry work, it's hard not to be happy.

I mean, there you are, working hard, with your hands, making something for yourself to live in or enhance your current living.

I know when I put together my bar and martini lounge in the basement I kind of sat back with a little bit of pride once it was done.

Anyway, the Happy Carpenter has long had me linked to his site and since I'm caught up with a lot of work I'm linking to all those worth a visit. Has some interesting candid photos of "Looter" the famed celebrity of New Orleans not to mention an eclectic mix of, uhhh....eclectic stuff.

Why I'm in "Tuesday's Whitie Tiddies" I don't know.

How Can't You Visit a Guy Named Cenk?

Never enough time. Never enough time to do half of what I have to do and none to do what I want to do.

One of those things is to study up on central Asia and Middle Eastern history. Very weak in that area and since it's one of the craddles of civilization I know I'm missing out on much.

Enter Cenk Sumbas

Guy highlights some of the more interesting things in that world I know so little of. Recommends books that are recommendable. If I ever get the time to pursue central Asian history, Cenk shall be the launch point.

My Anger Issues and the Mad Doctor's

I've often been told that I have "anger issues" by several people.

Of course, the people who have this observation all have a common trait I've found in that their lives have been a relative cake walk.

Did they ever drop 30 pounds because they couldn't afford 3 meals a day and had a physically exhausting job?


Did they become a real adult at the age of 18 meaning they supported themselves completely and could claim they'd be in the same situation as they are today had their parents died and left them nothing?


Did they ever know the meaning of poverty and have to live in a room that rented for $179 a month to make ends meet?


I've often found it a losing proposition to try to convey struggle and strife to them, because unless you've been through it yourself, it's impossible to convey it to other people. And so I largely shut up and hope the imminent economic chaos and collapse that is sure to strike us in the next 20 years will give them a dose of reality and vindicate my cynicism and "anger." Of course, by that time, what will it really matter.

That being said, it's nice to know that I'm not the only cynical bastard out there.

Welcome The Mad Doctor.

His blog, Universe on the Couch, is kind of a sounding board I use to make sure that somebody outside the economics profession sees what I see and to make sure I'm not crazy.

He shares the same dismal hopes for America and I'm predicting he shares the same disdain for the Baby Boomer generation that I do as his latest post is pointing towards that.

Alas, it seems to me the good doctor footed his own bill through college and wasn't spared any of the lessons from the school of hard knocks.

Visit the good Mad Doctor when you have a chance.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

The Truth Hurts, Confucius Say

I love the truth.

Truth is a great thing.

Like for example, you’re really not going to insult anybody by calling them a “nooney-head.”

The person would look at you knowing full well they aren’t indeed a nooney-head, simply because there is no such thing as a nooney-head.

But call a fat woman fat

Or a hen-picked man his "wife’s bitch"

Or a women’s studies major who still lives off her dad as “dependent”

Woo Hoooooo! Look out.

And you see, that’s the trick. Pay attention young aspiring economists. Take notes. If you really want to hurt somebody, or obliterate them in debate, all you have to do is point out the truth.

For example I was courting a crazy woman quite some time ago. And during a "Cosmo-Mag Inspired Argument" I needed something that would obliterate the opposition by showing her just how crazy she was.

Well, I couldn’t very well say, “Hey, woman, you be crazy, you crazy person you.”

You see, that wouldn’t do it.

But when I said,

“Hey, at least I digest my food”

that had more of a crushing, end-all, obliterating effect for she was a bulimic.

The result, she was silent, and I had made my point. For how can you refute the truth?

Thus, it must really be tough being a leftist. And I’m not talking the “I’m leftist because it’s COOL because all the kids are democrats and green party members in college cause I’m going to change the world cause I don't know what the f I'm talking about” leftist.

I’m talking the hard core, zealots. The true believers in socialism.

For year over year, day by day, second by second, evidence of socialism’s failure just keeps on racking up and trillions of dollars’ worth of evidence that capitalism is indeed the optimal economic system racks up as well.

Or should I say, “Tens of trillions of yuans’ worth” for China is that evidence.

Of course, that’s assuming the leftists out there bother to pay any attention to economics, data, statistics, etc., outside their own cherry-picked data. Heck, I’d be happy if they had data instead of theories, concepts and feelings.

“Well, you see, I just don’t believe GDP is a great measure of standards of living. It doesn’t take into consideration happiness. You know, Europeans are much happier than Americans. They prefer leisure to more money, and just look at our society, it sucks, we’re not as enlightened as them and I feel that America’s children are…” blah blah blah.

OK, so let me explain it to you leftists out there nice and simple so even you public schooled kids can understand;

Europe’s economy sucks.

There was a big study done just this past month called, “The Big Study Done This Month on Whether or Not Europe’s Economy Sucks” and it had all the great economic minds in the world attend it. If you never heard of this study it’s because you are not a great economic mind and weren’t invited. And what we (I was there) concluded is that with unemployment rates at double the US’ and GDP growth rates of less than 1% and debt up to the wazoo as well as social security programs that make us look stingy, no amount of intangible “good happy touchy feely Human Development Indexy” leisure could make up for the economic gap.

Of course we did take out central Europe and the Baltics because “they don’t count” because they’re not really European. They do that weird ass “flat tax” BS and that ain’t European at all!

Anyway, back to my point about China.

So China was once a very commie place and Mao Tse Tung was happy and the people were happy, for DAMNIT, if they weren’t, they’d be shot…or just starved to death in one of dem der “Great Leaps Forward.”

Implementing every leftist idealistic economic policy that their modern day counterparts would love to implement.

Aawwwww. But it didn’t seem to help much.

Now the “communists” of China are marching to a slightly different tune. The privatized property. They allowed for private companies. They opened their borders to investment. And they actually have lower taxes than the US on corporations (and please don’t give me no guff on loopholes). In otherwords, they let a private sector exist and look what happens.

A country that only 20 years ago was a third world nation, is now solidly second world nation, and has an economy when adjusting for PPP that is larger than Japans.

And who do they owe all this growth and production to?(BTW, this chart is from The Economist, where most cool charts come from)

Why the private sector…which last I checked was a very capitalistic thing.

So, you leftists, you keep on telling yourself the world is flat, pregnant women are beautiful, Julia Roberts is attractive and socialism works.

When the Chinese are kicking our asses and out-competing us because they have a harder work ethic, send their kids into engineering and incentive their people to work harder, don’t complain when our jobs are undercut because everything is going over seas…oh, wait, it already has.

(This post written in fond memory of all the union jobs lost at Northwest Airlines and soon to be the Ford Ranger plant in St. Paul. Keep up the good work unions!!!!!)

Friday, October 21, 2005

Two Thoughts

1. So it's been 60 years since WWII ended and you have the two main Axis powers whose economies were in desperate need of reform. Japan is currently implementing and pursuing further reforms while Germany is sitting on its ass. I predict in as little as 5 years time there will be a drastic difference in the two's standards of living.

2. OK, so I figured out an ultimate poetic justice scenario. The unions and their "legacy costs" (read pensions for old, retired union members) have renders their employers uncompetitive against their foreign and immigrant labor competitors. So as a way to help employ all those laid off union members from Northwest Airlines, United, and soon to be Delphi, GM and Ford, I have the perfect job for them;

Bounty hunters.

But not any normal bounty hunters. Illegal immigrant bounty hunters.

We put a bounty of $1,000 for every illegal immigrant. The recently laid off union workers whose jobs were eliminated by cheap foreign labor (overseas or illegally domestic) can get training in bounty hunting and recoup their lost wages by hunting down those who are partially responsible.

It's a TV reality show in the making.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Oh, the Crash is Coming

Interesting chart done by Greenspan.

No wonder savings rates are now negative.

Working Hard and Smarter

Can't figure out why the US keeps dominating over Europe.

Really leftists, economics isn't that hard.

Monday, October 17, 2005

1 Pissed Economist

Short on time. Not that this is yet another excuse as to why I haven’t made a post in a while. No, this is to set the context for my tirade.

For it is one thing if it is slow season and I am literally trying to kill time.

It’s another if its busy season, I got a 40 hour/week day time gig, on top of consulting and seminars and time becomes very valuable.

Thus whereas 5 months ago if some girl had 505025’d me, it just further convinced me the selection of women today is utter crap. But now, not only do they confirm my belief the selection of women is utter crap, but there was an opportunity cost and I’m mightily pissed because that time could have been spent on something else. Say, like sleep. Or catching up on my now 5 unread issues of The Economist. Or quarterly taxes or raking the yard or running or anything aside from cleaning out the car and ironing a shirt for a girl that is a flake.

Thus, you women have asked for it.

You see, we men (and I mean real men, not the ones who’s dad set them up with a job, or some loser of a guy, I’m talking the guys with jobs and class and humor, and yes, good looks too) more or less subscribed to the theory you would get out of that 14 year old girl mentality by now. We thought you’d throw away the Cosmo mags, get a freaking job, and maybe be intellectually honest to the point you’d realize Sex in the City was a TV SHOW and not reality, and that you’d grow the F up.

But no. 30 years old and I’m running into women in their 30’s that still think the middle school tactics of playing hard to get works like it did in college.

Now, I was telling myself, “no, Cappy Cap, this is just a statistical anomaly. Just something in your selection process that is resulting in these flakey chicks.”

And then it occurred to me that this sounded eerily reminiscent of my high school days where I thought I was the one with the problem. Then when I taught college economics and realized what a bunch of bimbos and ditzes the typical twenty something broad is it all became very clear. The rare instance where the individual is not the one with the problem, but society is the one with the problem. And I felt a little confirmed when sitting at the barber shop I picked up a issue of Cosmo-esque magazine and found an article outlining how a girl should play hard to get. I then went online and hit a couple discussion board and found that this theory is widely believed by women. And if that wasn’t enough, mercy I have not the time to tirade about “The Rules” a book written by a now-divorced woman.

So, as a service to society, as a service to you girls to help you grow up and become women, how about you set the effing Cosmo-mag down and listen to a guy who has his act together. And if you want to be told what you want to hear, don’t read beyond this. You want to read and find out what might actually WORK, well then sit down, grab a pen, and take some notes, you will be insulted, but that means its’ reality talking, not this tripe you tell yourself watching those god damned soaps.

#1 The Rule of Kilgs

Kilgs is a great philosopher in St. Paul when he’s drunk, and thus came up with a hierarchy by which you can gauge where you stand base on how many times you’ve played your stupid 6th grade games.

When a guy asks you out you originally start out at the “Wine and Dine and Dancing” stage.

This is the highest stage.

Do not goof it up. For here the guy is willing to take you to a classy joint, drop a fair amount of money on you and still has the obligatory, polite respect for you. He will be willing to impress you and take you out dancing or something unique; more than just a movie.

If you bail at the last minute or say you’re hair isn’t dry yet or get the butterflies in your stomach, you are then downgraded to the “Dinner Girl” stage.

We’ll forgive you once. Things come up, we understand, but our natural sense of self-respect kicks in and you don’t get any more chances. You can still make it up to us, and we’ll take you to a decent place for dinner, but not the fancy joint we were thinking nor are we planning anything particularly special. Just a good dinner.

If you bail on us a second time you are now downgraded to “Applebee’s Girl.”

At this stage you are largely something to entertain us, to kill time, with the outside chance you’ll be something unique. You are now required to do all the work and impress us. We are relatively indifferent to you and can only rationalize spending $10 or so on drinks and bad food.

If you are so stupid as to bail on us a third time, seriously, and for your own sake, you will not want to go out with us again (and that’s in the unlikely event we return your call), for you have been downgraded to the worst of them all


You are a now officially a “thing.” Particularly a “sex thing.” We have no intellectual or romantic interest in you. You botched that up long ago. You are functionally no different than a gumball machine; throw some money in you in the form of drinks and maybe we get a prize. We will take you to a party where there are other friends so we don’t have to listen to you and waste no more of our time. And if there is no party we take you to a crappy bar with cheap drinks in the hope of getting you in the sack.

I don’t want to hear from any of you that “you know some guy who doesn’t fit this procedure” and blah blah blah. There is always going to be an exception to the rule.

Rule # 2 Women Will Always Find Reasons Not to Do Things and Rarely Find Reasons To.

Want to know why men make more money?

Because we take risks. We’re more adventuresome.

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen entire tables of girls refuse to dance with a guy at a ballroom or swing dance or latin dance. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to get female friends to go out and go to a party or get a drink with the intent of setting them up. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen women at clubs or bars reel their wandering friend back in to the herd so they can keep her company in misery when the girl wanted to talk to a buddy of mine. And I don’t know how many times I’ve seen women refuse to “go out to happy hour” or go “grab a bite to eat” after work or some event.

There’s a reason why the term “sausage party” has no female counterpart. Because women will not stay out, take that many risks, nor be that adventuresome. Men will.

And that’s fine. OK, cool, men=aggressor, women=chasee.


You sit at home and watch Desperate Housewives till you’re 40, then you’ll know what it’s like to be just plain desperate.

Rule #3 Speaking of 40…

You’re approaching it. Hell, forget 40, try 33. Rarely do I see a decently attractive dame over the age of 33. And you want to know what’s great? Men typically date younger and we age more gracefully. You may think you’re hot stuff, and you are now. Just keep being a flake and before you know it you’ll have wrinkles forming on the outskirts of your eyes, stretch marks showing on your ass, and instead of tight fitting lingerie, you’ll be wearing the loser sorts…not that we’ll notice because we’re dating a 27 year old because you keep consistently making it down to Applebee’s Girl stage.

That’s enough tirading for now.

Monday, October 10, 2005

You Had Your Come-Uppance

Quick story.

Went to Target last night.

Looking for moth balls, a club for my new car and if they had it, was going to start pricing DVD burners on the off chance they'd have 'em.

I go to one of the stock boys and say, "Hey, you guys got moth balls?"

The guy turned to me and said, "yeah, they're over on isle E14"

So I find the mothballs, couldn't find a club, nor price DVD burners. But that guy that helped me...somehow I knew him.

It kept pestering me until I figured it out heading south on 35W past Washington.

He was a guy I remembered in college. Hung out at some of the same parties he was at. Didn't know much about him except he hung out with a REALLY liberal crowd. Him and his friends all worshipped Paul Wellstone and all majored in crap.

And that's the lesson. I'm 30 now. So is he. But I studied finance and economics. I think he majored in sociology or art history.

I don't work at Target as a stock boy.

He does.

At least I have respect for him in one respect...he didn't go into the public sector as a social worker, and is thus contributing more to GDP and society than his surely public sector putz counterparts.

Wonder how long it'll be until he votes Republican.

Recommended Jack-O-Lanterns?

This is my pumpkin from last year. Since I live in Commie Central, I had about three parents turn the pumpkin around whilst their kids trick-or-treated, which I had to turn back to make sure they ask questions.

Odd how the word "Republican" is viewed by parents much like the word "sex." They try to keep their kids away from it as much as possible. Oh well. Just doing my part to piss off my pansy ass neighbors.

I will take any recommendations for this upcoming Halloween.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Big Coin, Not Enough Time

Loyal aspiring economist, I must apologize for my lack of posts, but busy season has started and unlike my previous job, my new job consumes about 40 hours a week.

Thus, between the job, the consulting, the dance classes...battling communism, contributing to GDP, satisfying the ladies and in general being an all around cool guy, I have had little time to give the blog a good contribution.

That being said, I will largely just be posting charts and graphs with little commentary or really short things. When slow season starts again, I will become a bit more verbose.

But, in the meantime, I chart for all my Canadian readers...which seem to make up about 96% of my readership.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

For JTapp

An entry to the chart competition that I've been procrastinating over because I'm a lazy bastard.

Understand JTapp purposely chose charts from the Democrat's senate floor charts to cause a ruckus.

So young aspiring deputy economists, what's wrong with this picture?

It Ain't 1955 No More

Before I am deluged with a torrent of hate mail from women I;

1. Did not write this
2. Do not endorse everything on it
3. Did not underline or circle anything on this, it was sent to me as is.
4. Am displaying this to show the stark differences between today and yesteryear.
5. Am fully aware this may be a photoshop hoax.

All that being said, Men, I'll say it again, I'd gladly go back to 1940 to risk getting maimed or killed in WWII to live the life afterwards.