It's late January.
And in the Captain's world that means it's time to start the largest quarter of dance classes-Winter Quarter. A full month has passed. People have received their community ed brochures in the mail. Finally get around to signing up for a class. And BOOM! Off we go for a solid 6 months of teaching dance with the goal of taking a 2 month vacation out west with my motorcycle.
Of course something that continually catches me off-guard is the severe lack of men in the dance classes. The reason why I'm caught off guard is because during January I try to take a vacation, finish invoicing for the previous year, and finish my taxes. And before I know it, BOOM! Classes are starting and I'm starting to get attendance sheets which shows I need to scramble and find 18 extra men for the 18 surplus women I have in my class in 3 hours.
This sets into action a desperate bid on my part to find men. And how do you suppose men respond to me inquiring about their interest in being a pinch hitter in a dance class overflowing with women?
Do they say, "Wow, 18 extra women! COUNT ME IN!"
Do they say, "Dude! Yeah, I'm all over it if there's extra girls!"
or do they say, "Yeah, sure, I'm up for learning something new!"
Hell no.
It's more like,
"WHAT!???? A DANCE class? Are you CRAZY!? There's no way I'm dancing!!!!"
"ARE YOU INSANE!!??? THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M DANCING!!!"
Which has led me to a conclusion.
Men are cowards.
Oh, they'll climb the peak of Mount Everest.
And they'll walk to the South Pole.
They'll land on the moon.
And they'll charge the beaches of Normandy under murderous fire from the nazis.
But when it comes time to spend a FREAKING hour with a girl and move their feet according to a beat or pattern, oh no! That's asking TOO much! That's waaaaaay more daunting that walking through a mine field while getting shelled during Operation Torch.
I often sit here in this little world of mine and ask myself how I compare to my American male peers. And as much as I would like to think that I am just an average guy of average build and strength, I realize that I am not so much a "super man" as much as I am simply an old school man, which despite my physicality, makes me supremely more alpha than my modern day American beta male counterparts. I have this somehow "god like power" to have the courage to (GASP!) ASK A FREAKING GIRL TO DANCE which most men don't. And somehow that just doesn't sit right with me. I've never faced battle. I've on occasion have faced death. But on the grand scheme of things, dancing with girls (even when I was a rookie) just plain didn't seem that damn threatening.
Ergo, men of the Cappy Cap Capposphere-
Get off your ass.
Grab a girl.
Go sign up for a dance class.
And dance!
I honestly don't know why I have to write these things.
15 comments:
If you're finding men unwilling to go to dance class so they can be an accessory for women who have absolutely no intention of dating them, you're not asking beta males. There are any number of beta males in modern society willing to do anything at all to be in the company of women and desperate to have a role, any role at all, in a womans life. If you really want to fill those classes, you need only seek out the ugly and the poorly socialized. Seek out the real betas and you'll have no shortage of warm bodies. Alpha males have no need to do things they don't enjoy in order to be with women.
Storming the beaches of Normandy is child's play compared to dealing with women. - A once divorced now remarried father of two who used to be an EOD tech.
I like dancing for it's own sake, so long as it's to real music: Swing, Waltz etc...
Pity I live so far away.
"Shakin' my booty" dancing is unmanly and undignified.
I think you might have overlooked that many men feel that the initial stages where they are trying to lead, trying to move their feet and generally making a fool of themselves is diminishing and humiliating ( especially when someone as suave and good looking as yourself if showing them up)
If you can get them over that: dude! A. It's a class so ALL the guys are bad B. none of the women know what they are doing either, so they can stuff their complaints about having to do it backwards and in heels C. when you can finally dance, FAR away from the class where no one remembers your beginners lack of competence, women will line up to dance with you! And thank you!
Their men will be super jealous, your own female friend(s) will be posessive.
It's great
Sorry to hear that, Cap'n. One of the best things I ever did was learn to dance. Granted, I do West Coast swing, but don't hold that against me.
As for the first commenter, why shouldn't a man enjoy dancing? For three minutes, a guy gets to put his hands pretty much anywhere on a woman, and she thanks him afterwards. Throw in a few "oops, you missed my lead"s and that "pretty much" part goes away.
And betas don't make good dance leaders. Telling a woman where to go while at the same time showing her off and providing trust and confidence that you'll be there in case something doesn't go as planned AND protecting her from uncouth drunkards running into her requires something that most "men" (and I'll throw alphas into that mix too) can't manage.
When I was at university I did some classes in jazz ballet and tap.
My friends got worried. "Jaycee," they said, "people will think you're gay"
My response : "In jazz there are four guys, two of whom ARE gay. That leaves me and the other guy, and 17 skinny girls in leotards"
I've actually been attending 'two step' classes over the last few weeks since moving to Texas a few months ago. I did it simply because I wanted to learn the steps, NOT to meet women.
I should mention that, due to my musical profession, I already possess rhythm as well as good dancing abilities in a 'free style' sort of way. This includes also leading a woman in couples dancing. I've never learned 'formal' steps.... but do most definitely know how to "lead" via correct use of my arm and hips to guide her movements fluidly across the floor.
While attending this recent two step class, the instructor, a female, taught the class. Her 'tone' towards the men was nothing short of condescending to the men taking the class. She talked to them as if they were 'idiots'. Her attempts to have them "lead" were actually counterproductive due to the tone in which she spoke.
As I started to do my new found steps with my "partner" ( a random woman who just didn't have a guy to dance with), and due to the fact that two step is a six count (instead of an eight like my musical sensibilities normally lead) I was having a bit of trouble actually catching onto something that restarts in the MIDDLE of a measure. I was able to finally compensate it my actually removing any 'musicality' out of the steps, and just count to six. (apparently people who listen to country music don't know HOW to count to eight..).
Now this woman, who was older than me, who's never actually seen ME dance in MY element (of which she would immediately be pegged as a white girl with absolutely NO rhythm) decided it was in her place to let me know MY place in the whole scheme of things.....
"All your job really is out here is to make US look good." She humorously quipped.
My response was....
"Honey, that's the story of my life... I've made more women look good than I can actually count. Just so long as you aren't expecting me to make you rich TOO...we'll get along just fine..."
She shut up pretty fast on that one...
I don't blame guys for not attending dance class. Their not cowards... they simply don't need to put up with any "tudes" anymore than they have to.
All classes taught by the Captain are;
1. Alpha male
2. Condescending to NEITHER men nor women.
3. Guaranteed to put a smile on a woman's face and teach the men how to dance, lead, keep beat and make the woman look good.
I should come down to Texas and take that dance class and teach that woman a lesson in the "lead follow" relationship on the dance floor.
PS-You are right, it is VERY hard to learn to dance on a 6 beat. Does not match the music.
Captain - you have an interesting point. I am an example. I have climbed mountains. I have piloted sailboats up the Inside Passage here in BC. I fly my own airplane over the Rocky Mountains and across the continent. I have built a business into a revenue generator that I can retire wealthy on. And yet, the idea of attending a dance class scares the willies out of me. Maybe I'll try it one of these days. The problem is, bitches be crazy.
Let us not forget Lloyd's excellent article "Why Men Won't Dance".
Randall,
E-mail me at CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com. I shall mail you an instructional DVD.
You have to keep in mind classes means you don't know how to dance. That's why you take the classes. Nobody is John Travolta in the first minute.
CPt.
Learning to dance helped me to stand up like a man.
advertise to the asian dudes at the engineering and computer science departments at local universities.
our club had more men than women. We had to start giving women free lessons.
Ahh, DANCING. Look at the age difference and how this "old fart" still has what it takes!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LP-71QHHVc
I attended a dance class in high school, mostly 'cause PE was boring and I had an awful tendency to get in fistfights when provoked. A buddy found out (I didn't hide it, I just don't share info without cause), and asked me why with the typical derision of a teenaged male with more hormones than brains.
"Because I'm the only guy in a class of about thirty great-lookin' chicks."
Weird
It wasn't uncommon that there were actually more men than women in the beginner salsa classes I took a couple years ago.
If I found myself single again I would most certainly go back... the girls tended to be cuter than average and the guys geekier... but still.
What kind of dance do you teach? I could see something like "interpretive dance" being poorly attended by men.
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