The "How 'Bout You Call People Back" Economic Plan

When I am king there will be many changes. 

I will cut all government funding of liberal arts/humanities college programs.

I will ban sports from all public educational facilities, K-Kolidge.

I will ban omnibus legislation.

I will force, via the military if necessary, term limits AND a total 20 year limit on ALL public service.

I will allow new hunting seasons such as "banker season," "lobbyist season" and "trial lawyer season."

And I will consolidate all forms of taxation into ONE, SINGLE, easily understandable sales tax.

But my economic plan will be very simple.  I call it the

"How 'Bout You F#cking Call People Back"

plan

(or HBYFCPBP).

The reason is simple.  Yes, taxes are a problem.  Yes regulation is a problem.  And yes a lack of skill labor is a problem.  But the single biggest bottleneck I have found that is keeping America's economy from booming at 12% annual RGDP growth per year is the fact that nobody calls people back in a timely or prompt manner.

Matter of fact, very few people call people back at all. 

It isn't until you make 5 or 6 calls to your intended target do you actually get them to call (or e-mail) you back.

For example, I have been trying to buy advertising on various podcasts to help advertise my books.  Podcasts like The Tom Leykis Show, Laura Ingraham, and at least five others.

But if we simplify what I'm doing to an even more basic level, I'm simply asking them if I can give them money.

You would think they'd want to call you back.

But oh, you foolish man.  Don't you know this is modern day America, not the 1940's?  Why, what made you think people would actually WANT TO MAKE MONEY and CALL YOU BACK?  Silly silly man.  This is 2013 America when society has decayed to such a point people are too stupid to call you back.  Not because you're trying to sell them something they don't want.  Not because you offer them nothing worth their time.  No, they won't even call you back WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO GIVE THEM MONEY!!!!

No, the ONLY show that has ever called me back is the Tom Leykis Show (which I fully endorse and recommend advertising on).  The rest of them have never gotten back to me (though I am still waiting to hear a response from Gillette Sunday school).

Now think about this.

If ONE out of SEVEN people call you back WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO GIVE THEM MONEY, can you imagine the response rate for things not as beneficial?

What if you need that report from your boss?
What if you need the most recent tax returns of your client?
What if you need to order new machinery parts of your factory?
What if you need a new part because the motorcycle mechanic ordered the wrong one (AGAIN) but won't get back to you?

And what if it takes at least THREE TRIES to get them to get back to you?

Well what happens is the entire economy grinds to a halt and it's amazing there's even any GDP being produced at all.

Thus my HBYFCPBP.

With the HBYFCPBP we essentially take the average person's 8 hour day, and instead of 7 hours and 42 minutes of it waiting on other people who are waiting on other people who are waiting on other people to call them the frick back, I decree you call people back IMMEDIATELY under penalty of death.  And thus, the average worker no longer spends only 18 minutes per day on actual work, while s/he waits 7 hours 42 minutes the rest of the time, but instead is working and producing the full 8 hours a day.

This is a 2,600% increase in production which would boost GDP in the first year alone by an equivalent amount.  Instead of our annual GDP being around $15 trillion, it would be closer to $390 trillion, dwarfing our national debt and pretty much solving all of our economic problems. 

Of course, this would require most Americans not be complete f*cking idiots and maybe develop a little hustle, but since that is more of a 1950's American thing and not a 2013 American thing, I guess we'll just sit here mired in the malaise and rot of the average American worker.