So I cannot help but know that the Dixie Chicks have won 5 Emmy's because it's all over the news.
I didn't even know the Emmy's were for music, let alone what the Grammy's and the Whammy's and the Slammy's are for. I never paid attention. And the radio show host I was listening to at the time pointed out that the only people who paid attention to this and gave a damn are probably below the mean intelligence of the nation.
In other words, you may have knowledge, but if it's in particular areas, you are guaranteed to be an idiot.
Perfect example was when I was back in high school and our congressional representative came in and gave a speech. He asked the students if anybody knew how many congressional members there were. I looked around and not one student had the answer. Thus the paradox that class will last longer if we don't answer these questions, so I figured I'd better just answer so we could get out of there.
So behind me was sitting this future welfare recipient who at the age of 15 tattooed a spider web surrounding his eye. He leans over and says, "heh, how many cans of beer are in a case?"
I didn't know.
"I don't know, 24?"
And literally in a Beavis and Butthead accent said, "hu hu, it's 16, shows you how much you know."
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized, "yes, it actually does."
So I thought instead of testing intelligence by seeing how much you know why not test intelligence by seeing how much you DON'T know. Here are things I don't know, test yourself to see how little you know and how intelligent you are!
1. What are the Grammy's for?
2. Name one person on the current episode of Lost.
3. Where is the welfare office in your county?
4. T/F Dawsons Creek was about a guy named Dawson and the creek he owned.
5. Name one contestant on Teen Idol.
6. Sing the lyrics to a modern day song played on the teeny bopper girly station.
7. If you wanted to get meth, where would you go to get it?
8. Name any member of any present day boy band.
9. What is the rough price of a shirt at the GAP and/or Ambercrombie and Fitch?
10. If you went to college, where was the sociology department headquartered?
0-1 right? YOU'RE A GENIUS!!!
2-3 right? Congratulations, you are smarter than average!
6-4 right? Good enough that are well-rounded, arguably have a social life and are probably smart enough to vote!
7-9 right? Dude, hit Drudge Report
Perfect score? Out of the gene pool!
Sadly this also reminds me of three simple questions my male friends and I are using to screen women we may have potential romantic interests in;
1. What war was Pearl Harbor in?
2. Name a president from the 80's.
3. Point north.
We have yet to get one woman (let alone the few guys we've tested it on) answer all three correctly.
Sadly, Jay Walking with Jay Leno is not staged.