Remember kids, today is Anti-Earth Day. Remember to smoke and drink and burn stuff and have fun and enjoy life and in general do what would piss off leftists.
Your captain would like to take his motorcycle out today and run his errands, but you see since there are a bunch of brainwashed, self-righteous brats out there who instead of doing real work will apply value to themselves by really doing nothing, but claiming "they're helping save the Earth." Thus the Captain is compelled to undo all their "hard work" in saving the planet by polluting more than they save. Ergo, instead of taking out his motorcycle that gets 65 MPG he's going to take his 8 cylinder Chevy that gets 16 MPG and drive it all over tarnation.
And did the Captain fail to burn all that painted wood he had before? Well a pointless bonfire will be called for (of course while I'm smoking a cigar. Might have two cigars today because nothing pisses off a leftist when you do something you like to do with your own money and your own life that they don't approve of.)
In any case, make sure you do these things because it's not that we're against recycling. We're not against people wanting to go green. It's the sanctimonious, judgmental bordering on "nazi-ordering you to do so" attitude of the hypocrites this of this society who like to bark orders at other people that need to be slapped in the face and told "oh yeah? YOU'RE going to "save" the planet?"
Not if we have anything to do about it.