OK, look, I mean this sincerely ladies. I'm telling you this to help you. I know in today's world unless it is a positive criticism, then it's just a mean, hate-filled insult that is meant to oppress you. But if you could set aside the brainwashing we all got in the public school system in the 90's, I think we can all graduate to adult here and speak frankly, and thus, most helpfully. I am 33. I teach dance classes. This exposes me to a wide array of women, who I won't deny, are sometimes single, looking and quite attractive. Even if there isn't a young woman roughly my age, there is no shortage of the 40-50 something crowd that is seemingly hell bent on setting me up with a girl. But the problem is 8 out of 10 times the girl they're trying to set me up with already has kids.
And what is surprising is not so much that they have kids, but that those who are trying to do the setting upping, think the fact a woman has kids is irrelevant to whether a man is attractive to another woman or not. So let me put this to rest so that not only you know what course of action to take, but so you understand why men behave the way they do and don't waste any more of your time. Having a child is not a plus in the dating world. It's as simple as that. Does NOT help your market value. You have already made the equation infinitely more complicated than it would have been had you not had the child. And given the volume of people trying to set me up with single mothers, I think it's about time I explain it to you what odds you are going against.
First off, no man really wants to bring up another man's child/ren. You see, it really isn't all about you and your child. I know you think it should be, AND IT SHOULD BECAUSE THE CHILD COMES FIRST (any real man will concede to that), but you see men are just as human as your child. No more, no less. And in being so, if the guy has any self-respect, no guy is really going to consider courting you seriously if you insist he plays second fiddle. I know it's shocking, but men expected to be treated equally too. Secondly, all the men that have been going out and studying and working a hard career and building a name for themselves are not going to go out and look for a single mom. Sorry, it's true. We want a woman that doesn't have kids. We want our honeymoon period where it's just us and the wife. No kids, no nobody, just us and our beloved. Of course that's impossible when you already have kids. I say this not to slam you but to make you realize that the men when they marry a woman really do love that woman to the extent they want to spend their time with them.
Thirdly, and this is what you have to realize because i am really trying to help you, you do not come in with a great resume when you have children, are single, which implies a failed marriaged. ie-you ended up in divorce. Criticize me as you may, it doesn't change the fact that in the back of every man's mind you date he will never get over the fact that you were married at one time, but in the end it didn't work out and you ended up in divorce. Not that you were with another man, but that you divorced him, which means you could just as easily divorce him. And quite frankly ladies, divorce costs men more than it does women. And with a pre-established track record, we are somewhat reluctant to engage in a relationship.
So here's the deal ladies. If you want to date a man, or if you are a woman that is trying to set up another woman to date a man, you have to understand that if you have kids, it is a huge disadvantage. And you can't bark orders or concoct a list of demands and require all men fit that category if you have kids, because they won't. Not because they can't , but because they don't want to. There are many other options out there such as dating a younger woman, going overseas or (as I'm sensing a trend), just stop dating altogether. So if you are single mom and you want to start dating men, then I'd strongly recommend letting the man know that you would view him as an equal and keep the kid praise to a minimum. Not that men are jealous of the children, nor that you shouldn't praise your children, but men are not going to play ball unless they're #1 in your life too. Your children, precious as they are, do not deserve any more attention that what would presumably be the love of your life till death do you part. Think about that the next time you you'd like a date with another fellow human being.