Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Role Alcohol Plays in the American Conservative Movement

Understand that arguably the most important lesson you can learn in life is that it ends. And since it ends, why waste it worrying about things outside of your control.

Not to sound too macabre about the prospects of the country or the prospects of conservatism or the prospects of just plain and simple people who wish to excel instead of parasite during their finite lives, but basically, in the long term it doesn't look good. If you are a conservative you face a population that is increasingly spoiled, lazy, slothful, and worst of all, ignorant. They do not understand how the real world works, how the economy works and elect soothe sayers like the likes of Barack Obama or any other nickle and dime democrat that comes along and promises them puppies and money and flowers and the always available unicorn. Try as you might to convince them other wise and instill a milligram of sense or reality into them, they are too wedded to their "something for nothing" ideology and you are relegated to sit and watch the US collapse.

This is where the alcohol comes in.

Remember, the most important lesson you can learn in life is that it ends. This forces a choice upon you which I believe is the foundation to Dennis Prager's "Happiness Hour." You can either enjoy life or worry about it.

This is harder than it sounds, especially for conservatives. The reason why is that conservatives by and large care more about the country, their fellow man and society than their leftist counterparts do. Instead of just "saying" they want to do good things and do what's best for their children, and then go protest because they're bored and looking for something to do, they actually go the extra step and dedicate the through and "think-through-it-ness" that is required to determine whether certain policies will improve or worsen society. They don't just regurgitate bumper stickers such as "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer," they actually study economics and history to find out how to make everybody richer. The don't just go with their "feeling" or what they "think," they go out and actually find out the statistics, data and facts so that they KNOW.

With such a mentality, it's hard for conservatives to "let go" and just "enjoy the decline." I myself am guilty of this as I see this nation which once had a glorious past and now must watch it decline simply because its stewards (ie-the people) are spoiled, fat and lazy on our forefathers' success and therefore still write, blog, worry, fret about it today.

However, in the end I (as well as all of you) have to realize the reality of the situation. Too many stupid and ignorant people are in the country and have the right to vote. They don't care to look at the budget. They don't care to study history. They don't care to apply a level of intellectual honesty about them. They just want to say "warm fuzzies for everyone," "more money for schools/health care/the poor," "make the rich pay their fair share," not figure out how to pay for it, and then go back to watching "Glee" or "American Idol" while living off of borrowed money and producing nothing of real economic worth.

Now you can try to change this situation. YOu can try to point out the obvious. And you can try to point out the truth. But in the end you'll just be called a bigot, a racist, a neo-facist, or just a plain ole poopy head because NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT.

Ergo, what do you do with your finite life?

Well, starting up the next Standard Oil isn't an option.

Working hard and establishing a career isn't an option.

Working a normal amount and enjoying a normal family isn't even an option.

The only option left is to enjoy what remains of life. To feed off the remaining carcass of the now economically dead and defunct United States. To savor what meat has not spoiled and enjoy life to its fullest. And what better way to do that, while numbing the pain of watching the former greatest nation on the planet destroy itself than drinking?

That is why the Captain endorses the Drunken Conservatives.

The Drunken Conservatives are true economists at heart, because they know to maximize their utility and enjoy life.

They realize that they have an obligation to fight for what is right, to fight for the truth, and to fight for a future in which maybe the US isn't collapsing, but at the same time are not going to sacrifice what precious finite time they have on this planet worrying about something outside of their control. They are going to drink. They are going to enjoy life. They're going to kiss girls and they're not going to hyphenate their names. And there's nothing leftists or liberals can do to lessen that experience.

So visit the Drunken Conservatives.

Oh, and enjoy the decline!


Anonymous said...

Chin up, Mr. Captain. This has happened quite a bit throughout history. A small group rail on about a bad situation. They are ignored by society. The most famous case involved Winston Churchill`s warnings about the German Nazi war threat. Churchill was a political outcast, during the 1930s. He also drank a lot. Perhaps drinking is all one can do, while you wait for society to wake up. Who knows after a US debt default, you may be recognized as an economic genius.

Looking Glass said...

Megadittos. You've well-expressed something I've also been forced to accept.

John said...

I don't trust teetotalers.

The worst thing ever done to the Canadian armed forces was to make them "dry".

Gen. Grant and Gen. Sherman fought and won your Civil War with whiskey bottles in their saddlebags.

Alcohol rots your liver. F*ck it. When I finish this I'm going to pour myself a stiff gin and tonic.
When I drink that I'm going to pour myself a second one. And then ...

None of this nonsense about pansy drinks like Margharetas or those mint drinks you keep pushing, Aaron.
Americans invented the martini and drank moonshine. That's one of the reasons you were a great country.

Captain Capitalism said...

Oh, I am an economic genius. There's no doubt about that. I've predicted every major economic event in the past 12 years.

But the market is not efficient in listening to wise and savvy economists. It is efficient in listening to being told what it's wants to listen to.

All I have to do is point out how the market rallies 150 points on data that "isn't as bad as it could have been."

I will be right. I just rue and lament the loss of what I dreamt of when I was younger as to what I could have achieved.

Captain Capitalism said...




It's 100 proof!

I not only got hair on my chest, I got hair on my back from drinking that!

Anonymous said...

A famous philospher once said:
"I Drink, Therefore I Am."

I went Pro a long time ago and have since Retired from drinking...
Nothing good comes from it when you are a real Pro at it..

These are challenging times in which to not want to turn back to alcohol though..

Anonymous said...

Let's put the "pub" in Republican.

I don't drink much - in fact hardly at all, but if the Republicans take over the house and act like Democrats-lite rather than work to get our country's government smaller and more limited, I think I'm going to start.

Maybe it is best to prepare for the coming financial collapse and the accompanying government downfall.

Let's start with building our own stills.

Anonymous said...

In regards to drinking in the USA. What is with the Nazi attitude? I have seen signs behind the bar in restaurants stating "if you look less then 40 years old, we will ask for ID". I was in a grocery store in Upstate New York,and there was a Korean-American family ahead of me in line.The lady had to show her Drivers License to purchase a six pack of wine coolers. She must have been in her late forties, and had some gray hair. Her two daughters were around age 20. I later asked the clerk why he asked for ID. He explained it was store policy to ask everyone buying alcohol for ID.
An eighteen year old can buy a gun in the USA, but can not have a glass of wine with dinner.
Do people living in the US find this policy a little bit annoying?