Correct Answers to HR Interview Questions

As you know the Captain believes (sincerely) that human resources is literally one of the largest threats to future economic growth, the American way of life and in short, western civilization. It reigns over a vital bottleneck of the economy (the labor market) and is manned by ineffectual, incompetent bitter people whose primary motivation is NOT choosing the best people, but to derive a high from wielding power over others.

But, even though HR and their bureaucratic minions may seem to bode ill for you, me, and pretty much anybody else who took and passed calculus in high school, there are ways to circumvent HR because they are, after all, some of the dumbest people on earth.

Here is a GREAT tutorial on how to handle all those stupid HR questions. You know, questions like,

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Answer - "Not here because corporate America is so unreliable in terms of long term employment I presume I shall be working for your competitors or collecting welfare because you've made it impossible to work anywhere and maintain sanity."

"Have you ever had a disagreement with your boss, how did you resolve it?"

Answer - "Yes, I had another baby boomer boss ask me to put together a MS Excel spreadsheet because he "Didn't have time to learn Excel."" I said, "OK, pay me all the social security I've given you and we'll talk."

THere are others, but you get the idea. If a "profession" has to resort to this as their primary means of qualifying labor, you know it isn't a "profession."

Of course, there is a revolutionary idea I had and I actually do follow. I don't know why more people don't do this, but I surmise it's because we've all been brainwashed to think the labor market is a one sided coin.

Refuse to be interviewed by HR.

You see, no matter what the unemployment rate is, companies and corporations still need employees. No matter how bad it gets, they still need us as much as we need jobs. Most people don't realize this and go in and totally short sell themselves, looking at a 9% unemployment rate.

But what if,

just what if,

people were fed up enough with the pretentious, arrogant, morons in the HR department and simply refused to interview with HR?

What if there was a general groundswell movement wherein youth, graduates, employment seekers, the future life-blood of all corporations, all of the sudden got an ounce of self-respect and said,

"You know something, I no longer am interviewing with HR. If you want to consider me for a genuine position within your company, then you have me talk to the hiring manager or boss. Not some idiotic 23 year old HR ditz who graduated 2 weeks ago from some worthless HR program and doesn't know jack about my job, let alone my industry."

You mock me, but consider this;

"Have you ever gotten a job through HR?"

And now you see there is really no downside to refusing to interview with HR.

Nobody gets a job through HR. They offer NOTHING to the potential candidate, the potential talent, the potential future leader and innovator a means to get into the company. It's like having some super popular "prom queen" chick in high school threaten she'll never go out with you - she would never go out with you in the first place, ergo the threat is hallow.

And so, I hope with this little post, that it may start a trend, or at least instill some self-respect to job-seekers, to refuse to deal with HR. Not just for something as noble as "principle" but something as simple as practicality, because, well, exactly what has HR done for prospective candidates except waste their time?