It was obvious you didn't pick up on my somewhat less than subtle hint.
And therefore I had to endure your frequent commentary, obviously directed my way, which interrupted my dinner.
So let me explain to you why you are 30/40 something and sitting at a bar by yourself and I am 35 sitting at a bar by myself but why I am infinitely more happy.
I came there because I was hungry. I needed food. And since I am an alpha-male bachelor of the highest order (not to mention an outstanding economist) I have outsourced all of my food preparation to third parties, namely restaurants.
The reason I chose this particular restaurant was not because you were there, nor the score of other desperate 30 something women, but because it served four simple purposes;
1. It was open
2. It had good food
3. It also served Rumpleminze
4. It was nearby
These four simple things AND ONLY these four simple things is what made me show up.
I wanted food.
I wanted a drink.
I didn't want to prepare it.
And I wanted to go home.
However, you were there for different reasons.
And it was plainly obvious.
First off, I wore crappy khaki shorts, sandals, a crappy shirt and a cap. It was obvious I did not come there to meet anybody.
You however, still thinking it's 19-freaking-93 and you're still 21 were dolled up in a silver sequene top and black slick slacks. You were on the hunt, purposely looking to find a guy, whereas I was not looking for a girl.
(Oh, and by the way, please don't act indignant that I presupposed you were looking for a man. I'm not a naive, simple, honest 22 year old kid anymore. The truth with that clothing, you were on the hunt.)
However, much like 20 years ago when young men (who you would not doubt today give an appendage for) gave you unwelcomed advances and you poo pooed them away, your unwelcomed advances I had to endure today were incredibly hypocritical. The reason being is that those "unwelcomed" advances you had to "suffer" 20 years ago were no doubt at a bar where you were dressed the part and enticing such advances and no doubt welcoming them whilst acting appalled they occurred not to mention picking up free drinks all along the way.
Today, I was sitting by myself, warfing down food, in crappy clothes giving no such false signals to beget attention or free drinks. I wanted to be left alone, eat my food, yet you continued to harass me.
Second, I ordered a Rumpleminze.
Why?
Because I like Rumpleminze. Strong, ice cold, soothing on the throat. You can enjoy it for a while. Nice patient, enjoyable drink.
You, at the age of 40 something ordered a vodka-freaking-red bull.
Really? Is that what the "kids" are ordering today? Is that what's "hip?" Are you in with the "in crowd?" Perhaps you can find yourself a Vampire/Wolverine Boyfriend or whatever the fad is with the mentally insane teenagers of today.
Third, speaking of kids. How many do you have? Because I see that "single moms" are all the rage. See, I have no kids because instead of thinking of myself the entire time I remembered what it was like to be a kid. And I then came to the incredibly OBVIOUS conclusion that before bringing a kid into this world, maybe I ought to find a reliable, stable, loving wife before I start breeding and bringing innocent souls into this world. That they weren't "toys" or "objects" to have. That they were humans, just like you and me and had feelings, needs, requirements and demands. But I guess I'm just supposed to ignore my natural and visceral disgust for single parenthood in that obviously both parents failed to get it right the first time and I should instead go the politically correct route and cheer on the "nobility" and "courage" of "single parents."
Un-freaking-likely. There's still a victim. It's the children, and unlike when you guys invoke the term "for the children" to advance your own personal aims while cowardly hiding behind the child, I actually mean it in that I actually care about the kid, mine or not. I'm going back to enjoy my Rumpleminze while I avoid divorce if it's all the same with you.
Fourth, physically you got to be kidding me. I run 4-7 miles every other day and lift weights. I watch what I eat and I am in great shape. You look like you watch Oprah 4-7 times a day and occasionally lift your ass from the couch to get more food. I don't care what a bunch of bitter, burnt out 1960's hippie aging feminists said in the drug induced 70's and neither should you. The truth is that no matter what philosophy they lay down and tell you how things "should" be the REALITY is that men like women that are in shape.
I know.
We're evil, sexist, bigoted misogynist poopy-heads.
All of us.
But it ain't going to change and the sooner you learn that, the sooner you ACCEPT that FACT, the sooner you will start to employ strategies and techniques that are actually based in REALITY and have success.
Now, no doubt many of the female readers of this are livid.
No doubt I am evil and a horrible man for daring to lecture this slightly-aged woman about her unwelcomed behavior not to mention point out truths we all know to be true.
But for just once will you girls listen to me? Especially those of you who continue to watch dumbass movies like "Eat Pray Love" thinking somehow it relates to you and will somehow help you. Because if you listen, you will actually get some practical advice that will bring you genuine progress and happiness in your life unlike the tombs of women's magazine articles you've read which has resulted in you ended up where you are today (which is where the annoying woman was this particular night)
You are in your 30's or 40's.
You are not in your 20's.
And whereas men may have been naive and willing to fall over each other just to get a date with you when Clinton was in his first term, that is no longer the case. The game has changed.
Namely it has changed in that the men are no longer playing. They left the field. I don't know how many times I've heard late 30 something female friends of mine say, "You have to play hard to get. You have to get him to chase you."
I ask in return;
"Have you ever looked back to see that NOBODY is chasing?"
This somehow turns out to be some kind of "revolutionary" (not to mention" insulting")thought.
"WHAT!???"
"MEN, NOT CHASING!!!????"
"HOW DARE YOU!!!!"
No, how dare you.
What, you thought men were going to chase forever?
You see, men only have a finite, limited amount of energy for chasing. And you girls in your 20's were masters of exhausting it all.
Giving out your phone number, but then never returning the call.
Agreeing to a date and then canceling at the last minute.
The made up drama and land mines you laid around to keep them on their feet and never sure of where they stood.
And good lord, don't even get me started on all the complications involved with having sex.
It all worked GREAT back in the late teens and 20's, but guess what happened?
Inevitably men got smart. Men got wise. And worst of all, men just plain got some self-respect.
It wasn't an immediate flood on account different men woke up at various ages, but you throw in some divorces, the general disrespect and disregard for men and male behavior in society, and guess what?
20 years later men aren't chasing any more. They left in droves. They flooded OUT of the market.
Don't take it personally, it's not that they don't want to chase "you" any more.
They just don't want to chase period.
The "field" or the "market" has become so hostile, so hopelessly lopsided men increasingly went against their largest biological drive (women) and started enjoying life on their own. And think about that. It's become so hostile, so futile and such a waste of resources MEN HAVE LITERALLY STOPPED CHASING WOMEN.
You think I'm joking?
Why is the average age of marriage jumping?
Why are people having less kids?
And might I ask, do you know any perpetual bachelors out there who just enjoy a good Rumpleminze, some video games, or perhaps some fishing instead of trying to even entertain the idea of suffering a first date?
Do you know any 30-4o something men who regularly "go out clubbing" and "partaaaaay?"
Yeah, those ranks are thinning a bit aren't they? It's not that ALL men are quitting, just the good ones in that they have enough smarts, self-respect and sense to.
Worse still, and please don't shoot the messenger, this is just the plain truth-
Men can and usually date younger. So all those nice college boys that tried to pine for your affection back in the 90's you never called back or dared to mock infront of your girlfriends? Yeah, they're not gunning after you any more (if gunning after anybody at all). You need to chase after some Reaganauts who remember Duran Duran. Enjoy the Rogaine!
The overall point can actually be summarized with a classical supply and demand chart of economics. The "supply" women were willing to supply to the market was somewhat limited and Maureen-Dowdishly stingy (thus a supply curve that is far to the left). And in 1993 young Gen X men, quite obliviously were all desperately trying to get any kind of attention and affection they could (thus a demand curve to the far right). This resulted in an insanely high price the men had to "pay" to get a date (denoted by "P1"). This "price" manifested itself in terms of expensive dates, kindness, willing to show up, asking girls out more, general attention towards women, not to mention suffering being stood up, psychotic episodes, drama, soap opera BS and just general abuse they would endure. Over time though the sheer hell a man had to go through dating deterred him from the market (not to mention, a lot of men found lovely, kind caring women and immeidately grabbed them for themselves and left the dating market forever). This shifted the demand curve to the far left over the course of 15 years. What's interesting, given the "EAt PRay Love" and "Why You Rule and Your Boyfriend Sucks" magazines and the "cougar" fad and feminist indoctination and lord knows whatever other faux-fads the media barraged poor young women with, women were led to believe that they would always be in demand. That they owned the market. That they owned the hottest piece of property in 2006 and that there was no housing bubble. Ergo, almost unbeknownst to most 30-40 something women they never picked up on this dramatic drop in demand and held their supply incredibly low not knowing most of the buyers had left the market for substitute goods (look it up if you're interested in economics). This shift in the demand curve resulted in a huge drop in price from P1 to P2.
Now the question is (assuming you would inevitably like to get married or start a family or just plain have a guy in your life) how do you deal with this dire "market."
Well, the sad truth is it may be out of your control.
Notice the only thing that changed is demand. Men (the "buyers") left the market, not the women. Additionally it took about 15 years to drive them away, it's certainly going to take longer to get them back. They're more focused on deriving the most utility from the remaining years of their lives. They're not 25 thinking of starting a family, they're 40 and thinking about an LCD projector and Red Dead Redemption and football season and how to make up the lost income they're never going to receive from social security. Therefore you can hit the clubs all you want, but if no men are there, no men are there.
This means about the only course of action you have is to ask men out.
I remember an old female college friend of mine who had a HUGE crush on this guy. She spent an ENTIRE YEAR fretting and worrying about asking him out and tried every trick in the book to get him to ask her out. Hilariously in true male form, he never picked up the hints which compelled her to ask him out.
Did she?
Never did. She CRIED MULTIPLE TIMES PER WEEK instead of just getting it over with and asking him out. Suffered infinitely more and longer than if she had just bleeping asking the guy out.
Sorry ladies, it's the 4th quarter, you're down by 14 points and you do not have the luxury of waiting for the guy to ask you out.
When myself and my other male colleagues were told women were equal back in the 90's we actually took it to heart. We believed it and incorporated into our thought process that women are equal. And guess what, whether you like it or not, today you ARE equal which means you now have equal responsibility, not least of which in our minds back then was asking us out or making your intentions known.
Today it's not even an academic debate. It's reality. Men aren't looking, they're not asking, they're out of the market. Your only option is to take matters into your own hands and pull the trigger yourself.
Sadly, or perhaps not so sadly, the only other option is to give up like most men. I will readily admit it's not just the women that have made the courting world a nightmare (though I will defend till my death they have disproportionately done so). There are members in the males ranks that are entitled to their fair share of blame. And given this you may realize what a lot of men have already and that is life is too short to waste it on a pursuit that will never materialize. You have 82 years of life expectancy. And while you may not like playing video games or fishing, there are certainly other things you can be doing aside from "clubbing" or "looking for a guy" or just plain wasting your finite energy looking/hoping for one.
You may biologically or naturally be against this. You may say, "but I want to find a man and get married and have kids."
Well again, it's an issue of reality. Reality may be that's never going to happen. So do you want to continue wasting life pursuing something that is not going to happen? Or do you want to enjoy it doing things that are within your control, never worrying about men again?
It sounds sad and depressing at first, but when you realize the reality or at least probability of the situation you can move on and enjoy a really good life without men. Millions of men have done the exact same thing, just without women. And the freedom that comes with it to enjoy your life and do your own thing with no regard or attachment to the idea of courtship is actually quite liberating and genuine happiness can be found in such a life.
Besides which, there was only one small difference between myself and the desperate 30 something woman at the bar that explained why I was happy and she was miserable-
She's still looking.
I gave up long ago.
Who do you think has the happier life?
40 comments:
Here, you can definitely see the Captain's earlier life show through with how he's been rejected over the years.
Part of the issue is that women grew up watching disney cartoons and drama movies...art designed to be entertaining...NOT instructional material on how to run your relationships.
Part 2 of this issue is the feminist doctrine of focusing on women at the expense of men. This may make sense when you're trying to climb the corporate ladder or turn yourself into a bitter old paper pusher, but it's no way to relate to men...which is the ENTIRE POINT of a relationship.
Part 3 of this issue is the lack of training society tends to provide when dealing with non-academic issues. Namely, very little. Parents tend to assume children will learn these things for themselves? Would this sort of crap go for economics? math? job skills? No. They're all trained formally.
All this leads to a contemporary woman who focuses on herself as the only point of concern in a relationship. She has no training in what men want or care about. Most importantly, she has no specific plan to move towards what she wants.
I learned long ago to not trust what the media was saying about relationships. I focused on what I could see myself. I asked real married couples who were happy and successful... how they did things. That taught me a lot.
I think women who are still looking late in life simply have standards that are too high.
"Inevitably men got smart. Men got wise. And worst of all, men just plain got some self-respect.
"
The time-based diminsihment in male motivation coincides with the time-based diminishment in female appearance.
Good post, the only thing I would like to add is if for some reason you decide to go out with one of these ladies they immediately become attached. so if after two or three dates you are no longer interested the are devastated and try to make you feel guilty about not wanting to see them again. Thus making you less prone to ask the next on out.
Next time save the wear and tear on your keyboard and just jump to http://roissy.wordpress.com
It will all become clear to you.
I want to smack the woman who cried because the man didn't ask her out- and she wouldn't ask him.
Before I got happily married- I asked men that I was interested in out. Most said no. I moved on. However, those men and many women told me that men do not like to be asked out- something about being too aggressive.
Whatever. I didn't change my methods and eventually met a man who said yes. Almost six years later- we are still happily together.
As a woman - I have often ignored the advice of other women and am better off for it. Great Post Capt!
I lucked out. My wife didn't even know who NOW was until I explained it to her. She prefers to call them the "National Association of Gals."
Maybe she just thought you were cute. You should take it for the compliment it is. Since you didn't say what exactly your "less than subtle" hint was, I think it was too subtle. Most women will not keep trying if they are told "I'm not interested".
The supply/demand chart is pure genius, as ususal.
in latin countries women are trained since kids to use all sort of trickeries and devilries in order to get men to ask them out. and then refuse. they want you to repeatedly crawl and beg and humiliate yourself, then eventually say yes.
of course i stopped doing that at age 15. it was priceless to see their faces when, at their refusal, i just said ok and walked off never to be seen again. that was not what i was supposed to do. some of them then begged and crawled asking me to go out with them. of course i refused. thats better than sex.
Yes, well Elizabeth, you are certainly not the average woman. I think you would have all the men in the Capposphere be more than happy to down a bunch of beers with you at a moment's notice.
A few points. The way most women treat men is appalling then and even now. Maybe some that are still married should read "The proper care and feeding of husbands." not that I really like Dr. Laura but she makes a good point about treating your man well.
However I will disagree that women should just ask a man out. Seriously bad advice to a woman. If a man is interested he will ask you out. If he doesn't ask you out he is not interested. Maybe he would rather play video games, but if he prefers that than to being with you... You could compare this to a vote with your feet market idea. The men are obviously voting. Lets be honest you are probably flattered that these women are interested in you. Yet you are obviously not interested or you would ask one of them out. Simple simple simple. The reason you are not interested doesn't matter.
Rumpleminze, another fine Canadian product ;-)
I do declare this post screams "sensitive new-age man trapped in a crusty capitalist's body".
You schmaltzy romantic, Captain! :D
Yes, "sensitive" and "romantic" Precisely what I am. ;)
Though there may have been one or at MOST two girls who deemed me romantic.
Alas that was in my foolish youth.
i agree!
Cap'n, I don't know if your thesis is proven.
Sure, I take your point that your experience of young American women is that they set too high a price on themselves. However, from your anecdotes about other gullible guys, it seems that these women's behaviour is being encouraged and reinforced by such means as drinks buying.
Young people, of course, think they'll live forever young. So it's not surprising women behave this way, especially when they have guys fawning on them.
I also take your point that some percentage of women don't wise up, and end up "on the bench" as the new crop of young women come along behind, crushing their market value.
But don't "most" women end up in a relationship? Isn't the woman in this story part of a minority who never got a strong grip on reality? Aren't you only seeing the ones who failed to learn? I'm curious as to your thoughts, as I don't live in the USA.
By the way, you often talk about USA women rejecting guys who ask for a dance at dance venues.
I recently visited New York, I was in the USA for the first time, and went to a Contra dance. My personal dance history started with formal training in Irish soft shoe and hard shoe, and moved on to Irish Sets and Irish Ceileidh, Scottish Social and Contra, with a 'minor' in waltz and polka studies on the way, with some training in tap and jazz ballet. I have been held to be a "pretty decent" social couples dancer.
I was astonished to find that some women - who had presumably turned up at an organised Contradance, paid the entrance price and were sitting around chatting, would reject an offer for a dance. Especially because, as is often the case, there were more women than guys in attendance.
And even, I'd have to say, when I'd been dancing on the night and so they could have seen I wasn't a klutz.
I'm of average male looks, athletically slim, 5"10, neat hair, was cleanly showered and shaven and wearing neat casual clothes and dance shoes.
I can't say that has *ever* happened to me here in Australia, unless said woman was dripping with sweat and fanning herself and breathing hard and (plausibly) gasping "Sorry, I really need to sit one out".
Keep well.
Cap'n, I don't know if your thesis is proven.
Sure, I take your point that your experience of young American women is that they set too high a price on themselves. However, from your anecdotes about other gullible guys, it seems that these women's behaviour is being encouraged and reinforced by such means a drinks buying.
Young people, of course, think they'll live forever young. So it's not surprising women behave this way, especially when they have guys fawning on them.
I also take your point that some percentage of women don't wise up, and end up "on the bench" as the new crop of young women come along behind, crushing their market value.
But don't "most" women end up in a relationship? Isn't the woman in this story part of a minority who never got a strong grip on reality? Aren't you only seeing the ones who failed to learn? I'm curious as to your thoughts, as I don't live in the USA.
By the way, you often talk about USA women rejecting guys who ask for a dance at dance venues.
I recently visited New York, I was in the USA for the first time, and went to a Contra dance. My personal dance history started with formal training in Irish soft shoe and hard shoe, and moved on to Irish Sets and Irish Ceileidh, Scottish Social and Contra, with a 'minor' in waltz and polka studies on the way. I have been held to be a "pretty decent" social couples dancer.
I was astonished to find that some women - who had presumably turned up at an organised Contradance, paid the entrance price and were sitting around chatting, would reject an offer for a dance. Even, I'd have to say, when I'd been dancing on the night and so they could have seen I wasn't a klutz. I'm of average male looks, athletically slim, 5"10, neat hair, was cleanly showered and shaven and wearing neat casual clothes and dance shoes.
I can't say that has *ever* happened to me here in Australia, unless said woman was dripping with sweat and fanning herself and breathing hard and (plausibly) gasping "Sorry, I really need to sit one out".
Keep well.
Wow, just...wow. Great post, and it is rare to see such lucid definition of feminism.
I doubt you will actually get much opposition to it, because its truth will silence and dumbfound anyone who tries.
Oh Captain my Captain!!! You Sir are a Prophet! There is nothing that you have written that I disagree with...they just don't get it do they?
Outstanding article. I was linked over from the spearhead to come check it out. That article was dead on. And what is ironic is the women that find themselves alone at 40 start bashing men for being messed up for not wanting them. Men need to "man-up" stop being little boys, my favorate are "intimidated by a strong woman". It never occurs to them the screwed up laws against men at every level from childhood to death is in place to advantage women at the expence of men. And the women themselves have absolutely no respect what so ever of men as human beings to start with.
women now days really have nothing to offer. They don't cook or clean. They have no sense of compassion for anything other than themselves (there is nothing in society to tell them otherwise,for that is considered misogyny. Look at the attitude women have for abortion, divorce, or any kind of responsibilty in general much less in a relationship with a man.With all of that men have stopped basing the culture of maleness around a relationship with women. It is becoming normal to not even consider women as part of a life cycle for a man once he gets past his youthful 15 to 30 year range.And some guys never really enter the game at all.
greyghost
Fantastic! And very true.
Great article.
On women asking men out, I think the only time men say they don't like being asked out is when they are thinking of the typically clueless and clumsy way in which women do it.
The same way that a slovenly, unkempt man who approaches and bluntly asks out a beautiful woman will be seen as an unwelcome intrusion, so will the typical woman who asks a man out, because of the approach. These types of men are instantly shot down without a hint of remorse by nearly all women.
I have been asked out by many women over the years, but here is what they all had in common:
Fat
Looks far below mine
Loud and belligerent
Completely lacking subtlety and charm
Of course these type of approaches meet rejection most of the time. It IS aggressive for a woman rated as a 4 or 5 to bluntly ask a male 7 or 8 to go home with her. The same way it would be viewed too aggressive if the genders were reversed.
If women were capable of learning the simple, subtle art of flirting, being charming, and placing themselves in the close vicinity of their target male (who is a realistic match for her looks), they would get asked out all the time.
In economic terms there is a home bias in terms of mating, which I think is the basis for the market failure you're describing (otherwise eligible men simply opting out of the dating/marriage market). If women in the US are pricing love above its equilibrium there is an obvious solution - outsource sex to another culture/country.
In fact, I think this is already starting to happen, it's just that in multicultural nations like the US or Canada it tends to be a bit obscured since the two partners often still share the same citizenship. In terms of anecdotal evidence, a lot of the guys I know are dating and/or marrying first generation or 1 1/2 generation immigrants, or else marrying while living abroad. I get the feeling this is part of a bigger trend.
I guess what i am saying is that there is definite dating "alpha" to be extracted by overcoming ones own nativist sentiment and other economically inefficient screening mechanisms.
I would also like to say here too that i think the core part of feminism is true: Women get a hard deal. Rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, abandonment are all real things. Whether or not "interrogating the male gaze" or something of the like helps matters is beyond my understanding, but I'm going to guess 'no'. I mean, the sensitive new age guy stuff might be bullshit, but do you really want to live in a society where your wife or girlfriend or daughter goes to work and a coworker can pinch her ass and she (and you) have to be cool with it? When you get married and have kids, don't you kind of want your wife to have some sort of legally guaranteed maternity leave? etc. etc.
Anyways, it's like anything, if the terms of trade are untenable, it's really up to the aggrieved party to renegotiate.
Cap'n,
A small addition. The Supply curve too has shifted (to the right). This is because a lot of women have entered the market after realizing that the fish-bicycle theory was all wrong
I cannt stand guys like you. You think ur all that and she was probably interested in you because, I don't know UR ok looking and near her age?? What makes you think you deserve a model in her 20's? Who are you? Simon bleeping Cowell? Wouldn't you rather have a women who is mature and experienced and confident because she now KNOWS who she is not like some flaky college girl and since your talking about marriage is must be on your mind so a women in her 30's is looking to settle down. She and already got the partying out of her system and WANTS to get married. So go ahead and be like that. It's your loss not mine I'm 34 and there R still LOTS guys to date. I post a dating profile and get 50 responses in 20 minutes. So I KNOW I'm still wanted and by the way u know whats funny you went to all the trouble of that making that graph and I didn't even bother to read it. :)
Anon 537,
You're more than welcome to send me a couple pictures of yourself and me and my friends will judge your looks honest and fairly.
You've gotta laugh. You get these 30-something women with paunches trying to be sexy because they're wearing some slinky outfit that just makes them look even more ridiculous. They COULD try to go the classy route, in keeping with their age, but the poor judgment that led them to this moment obviously fails them again.
>Wouldn't you rather have a women who is mature and experienced and confident because she now KNOWS who she is not like some flaky college girl
LOL, no.
I agree with the woman who said this reality goes both ways. I'm still young-26, and have more or less left the marketplace because ive understood just what I am to most men and have realized ill likely never attract anyone im attracted to for more than a fling, even though I'm slim, fit, smart, fun, cultured, cute in the face etc... I'm black, and therefore devalued. Doesn't matter that I'm good with men, I'm no ones trophy girl, unless they're someone much much less attractive than I am. They're only human, so am I, we all want to be with someone we desire. So maybe with enough time I'll just decide to settle on someone I don't really want just for the sake of not being alone, even though that's unfair to them; or maybe I'll just choose to stay alone and make the best of my life focusing on the things I CAN control, which is good advice from the blog author.
Wouldn't you rather have a women who is mature and experienced and confident because she now KNOWS who she is not like some flaky college girl
Oh HELL no! Bring on the college girl. If she is cute. And fun. And down for fun.
My wonderful wife, who hated feminism as much as I do has a saying I love - "Women who can do, women who can't become feminists." How true is that!?
Beautiful. Another good one; "There are no feminists when the lifeboats are lowered."
A lot of 30, 40 something women whose ship has long since sailed better start buying polyester caftans, preferably stain resistant, be it a heavy cream sauce or tears because they will be spending the rest of their lives watching shit like Sex in the City and combing their cats.
I practically had to beat off this girl who was young enough to be my daughter in the bus station yesterday.
NO means NO sweetie. *Sigh*. I'm wondering whether I should wear a fake marriage ring just to get women to leave me the fuck alone.
@Anon8:18
"ill likely never attract anyone im attracted to for more than a fling"
ya mean dem thugz?
Since the average woman (80%) is attracted to a very narrow (20%) slice of men who thus can afford to pick and choose from a wide pool of women to pump and dump, there's nothing one should be surprised about here, really.
The men who meet your standards probably have standards you don't meet. Plain and simple as that.
Germany and Sweden tried passing a single male tax (taxing man who don't get married). It didn't pass in either country but the thought that some leftist would even think it tells me something is coming down the road soon from big government.
I am brand new to this blog, and this is the first time I have ever commented on ANY blog. I am a soon to be 34 year old woman. I am recently single after a 7 year relationship. I was very much in love, as was he. We parted after many happy years living together and it became apparent that marriage was something that he could never come to terms with. But we loved each other very much and I don't for a minute regret any of our years together. It seems that perhaps I gave this gentleman too much leeway in the "moving forward" department. However, am I to understand that in today's society, I am now considered "waste"? As in " DONE, STAY AWAY, DANGER?!"That by simply existing as a single 30 something woman my only options are to date elderly men or give up completely and adopt some kind of cat lady lifestyle? My great "sin" was I simply loved someone who ultimately decided he doesn't want the same future as I do. I don't think my standards are too high, I don't really have a "type" or any unreasonable expectations ( ie: be employed, not housebound by obesity, no weird mom stuff, I don't care for "Guido" types. ) I don't need a man who is rich or a knight in shining armor. I am not a supermodel but neither am I a hideous hag. I am employed in a career that I truly enjoy, I am educated but not an elite academic. I am " normal". The world can't really be that black and white. I assume you, Captain are an educated man. Why don't you ( and I am asking you on behalf of the male gender in general) allow for any gray area? So much of life falls in the gray. According to you ( and the whole of the internet) If I didn't "catch" a husband by 28, then the jig is up? No love for me ever again? I may be an exception where as I never played those games some girls apparently do ( I apparently was never told the rules of said games). I have never had a goal of "catching" a husband. My goal was and is to find someone who loves me, and I love them, and to live our lives together happily. Marriage is to me not a "prize" but the ultimate declaration of love.It is so not about "winning" or gifts or even a fancy white dress and big party. Its about finding a partner in life. So I ask you, " Captain". Why is a woman such as myself faced with such a lackluster future ( according to you and apparently quite a few others out there). Are men really such simple creatures as " 25 good, 32 BAD. Doesn't anyone believe in love anymore? Or is that only for the fresh faced 20 year olds still hanging out in frat basements doing keg stands?
I don't see how nearby and open are purposes. They would qualify as criteria other than purposes.
"Are men really such simple creatures as " 25 good, 32 BAD."
Sure honey, though you may want to rephrase that as, "Are women really such simple creatures as " 6'4'' good, 5'6'' BAD." Or maybe "Rich man good, middle class man BAD". How about "Extremely handsome good, normal face BAD".
What goes around comes around, is the entire point of the post. If you were so dim, so slow witted that you couldn't figure out that a man wasn't going to marry you over 7 years, when other women manage to hook a guy in less than 3 months, maybe the problem is with the old spinster in the mirror holding Muffins and a glass of wine, not the men?
He was married? Wife found or got pregnant?
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