Hippies Don't Help Economic Growth

I was at the post office the other day. In front of me was a younger-looking grandmother sending off what seemed to be a book and a National Geographic issue. It was a small post office, but it wouldn't have mattered because this woman was quite insistent on speaking loud enough for everybody to hear.

"Yes, I'm sending these to my grandchildren! That's me on the front of the National Geographic when I was in South America! I'm also in this book! It's the first book written by and about the Peace Corps."

Naturally my eyes rolled. Not because in front of me was an aged hippie who can only point to something she did 50 years ago as the pinnacle of the acheivements in her life, but because who else but Peace Corps hippies would think their grandchildren want a lame book written by hippies and a dated National Geographic from 1964?

Of course I couldn't pass this up, so I inquired,

"Where were you in the Peace Corps?"

"Ecuador. Have you been there?"

"No, no, haven't been there."

"Well how do you know about it?" (which I found to be a funny question because it's not like you had to have been to Ecuador to know it exists)

"I'm an economist, I follow the Correa administration."

And with that exchange, that's all I needed. I found the country she and the other hippies were at in 1964. So off the Captain went to the Cappy Cap Cave, fired up his ole Cappy Cap Computer and went to work looking up Ecuador's economic history.

And in a few short minutes of superawesome economic research, I found the presence of hippies do not help economic growth. Of course most people know that, I just wanted to confirm that it wasn't by some miracle they actually did make a difference this time.

Notice when hippies were introduced to the Ecuadorian environment, nothing happened for about a solid decade thereafter. It wasn't until EEEEVIIIILLLLLL oil was discovered in 1973/1974 did its economy actually start growing.

Ever since then Ecuador's economic performance can largely be explained by oil. When oil prices tanked in the late 80's, so too did its economy. And even with a largely leftist president implementing largely leftist policies, the economy is still booming today because of the price of EEEEEVILLLLL oil.

This behooves the question then;

"What the heck did the hippies go for there in the first place?"

And another follow up question;

"Why do we keep sending hippies overseas if they don't achieve anything?"

Oh, what innocently foolish questions.

You see young, aspiring, junior, deputy and otherwise economists, Peace Corp, Ameri-Corp, UN, UNICEF, IMF and whatever other aid/humanitarian types out there do not go to these countries to help these poor countries out. They go there simply for themselves. If you look at the statistics globalization and economics is what gets countries out of poverty just as oil got Ecuador out of absolute poverty. Not this lady and her ilk helping build a well in some remote village of the Ooki Booki tribe. They go there, first and foremost, so they can feel good about themselves. Whether they actually bring about tangible results is inconsequential, because deep down inside they really don't care.

Now, while you may think I'm being harsh, especially for criticizing an old woman for sending her grandchildren a book she helped write and a magazine with her and her hippie friends, think about that.

Would YOU as a grandparent send your GRANDCHILDREN a book you wrote, let alone articles about YOU and on topics they could not care less about? It tells you all you need to know about the woman's psychology.

Can you imagine what a fun Christmas that would be at the Captain's household?

Grandchildren - "GRANDPA CAPPY! GRANDPA CAPPY!"

Old Cappy Cap - "Well hello grandchildren!"

Grandchildren - "What did you get us for Christmas!?"

Old Cappy Cap - "Well, I brought you a copy of my book, Behind the Housing Crash and an article written about me from 2007!"

Grandchildren - "Awww poop. That's not a real present."

Old Cappy Cap - "Shut up, you ungrateful brats! You will read it and like it! Where's the Rumpleminze?"

And of course, that's the point. This woman, just as she did back in 1964, is doing the same thing today. She's sending these poor grandkids a boring book not for their sake, but for herself.

But perhaps I could explain a little better with a quote from a previous post.

"The fact that the "house" in figure 2 still looks like garbage 7 years later just goes to show that sociology majors just like in the first world can't fix anything in the third world either."

I say just never grant a hippie with enough credit or skill to actually fix anything.