One of the most damaging lies my mother told me (and by "most damaging" I mean "top three") was that:
"Women like kind, caring men. And jocks are just gross. Bleagh! Who likes jocks!?"
I took it to heart in my youth and instead of focusing on lifting weights and making myself physically attractive, I focused on my studies, tried vainly to figure out what being "sensitive" meant, and what exercise I did get was running and cycling a lot. I proceeded through the next (roughly) 8 years of my youth perplexed as to why all the rugged, buff jocks were getting the chicks, contrary to what my mother claimed.
She even had a zinger of a rationalization:
"Well, those girls aren't mature. They'll mature when you get to college."
That I believe ranked #2 in the most damaging lies.
Regardless, what I and many other men/boys had to suffer in our youth is not the same fate the current crop of teenage and 20 something boys must suffer. They can simply listen to Ole Cappy Cap (or the plethora of other manospherists out there) and learn from our mistakes. So, boys, heed me.
Physical fitness is a MANDATORY requirement if you wish to court or date. And I would go so far to claim it is the MOST IMPORTANT trait to have in your youth. Money, career, charisma, game, and charm, that all comes later, and frankly requires time to develop. But physical fitness is something you should put right up their with your studies and homework.
It should be daily.
It should be regular.
You should treat it seriously.
The reason why is even though working out and lifting weights is the most mind-numbing experience you're ever going to suffer, the price you pay is INFINITELY LESS than the other means by which you can attract women.
There was this rave/techno club in DT Minneapolis called "First Avenue." I think I spent over 500 hours in that place alone trying to scam and mosh with chicks. I think through all the noise and smoke (you could smoke in those days) I got a whopping 3 numbers, none of which led anywhere. However, if I merely spent a fraction of that, 200 hours, working out an hour per day, every other day, the benefits would have certainly been more than 3 phone numbers and a lot cheaper.
While there was merit in attending First Ave for the music itself, what I'm trying to specifically warn you against is attending things like "bars" or regular "night clubs" where it costs money to not just drink, but enter the darn place. You'll stand a much better chance of meeting girls being ripped or just "buffer than the average bear" in class than you will going to a bar, competing with kids whose parents have bigger checkbooks than you do.
Second, you also have to wear the appropriate clothes. My sensei in jujitsu is the most ripped man I have ever seen. But when I first saw him, his clothes were not tight, didn't show any kind of definition, and I frankly thought (because I had been working out) "I might be able to take him."
Then I see him in without his shirt on sparing against a guy who has 50 pounds on him.
I asked myself, "Well what the hell????? Why isn't he wearing tight fitting shirts?!?"
Regardless, the point is you will have to drop SOME money on tighter fitting clothes. The benefit is that you don't have to be ripped like my sensei, you just have to be in the top 10% of males, which means completing a simple work out regimen on a regular basis. For an old fart like me (and men of my age, trust me), it's SUPREMELY easy to put yourself in that top 10%. I walk into a joint or a bar or a dance with a tighter fitting shirt and I have noticed women turning their heads. And I'm not terribly "ripped," just "micro-buff" if you will.
There is, however, a very important third aspect to this. If you are going to demand physical fitness and beauty of your women, you better provide the same in return. Now women typically do not place as high of value of physical looks than men do, but physical looks are still a top requirement of them. And if given the choice between an average schlub who's "really nice" and the buff guy who won't give them the time of day, they will always go after the buff guy.
So when you get to college, or when you get to trade school, or when you start off your career, spend your time wisely. Don't go to church. Don't go to bars. Don't go to museums. Don't bother getting "cultured" by reading books or going to seminars. And for the Patron Saint's Name of Frick, whatever you do DON'T do what the girls tell you to do.
Go to the gym.
Pump iron on a regular and religious basis. Throw some running in there.
And for the most part you don't have to do anything more than that.
I know lifting weights suck. I know it's boring, but "unlike my day" we didn't have those "MP3 doohickies you kids have today!"
This has been a public service announcement form the Captain.
9 comments:
I am so sorry you had a traumatic childhood
Captain, I cannot tell you how right you are. As your muscles grow, you'll become more physically attractive, which will generate female interest give you an ego boost, which in turn will help with the ladies.
Just today, I got the number of a cute 7 in my accounting class. I always used to date 5's.
I'm sorry, but in dating I take advice from experts. Not only do they support their arguments with overwhelming experience, but also deduce it from evolutionary psychology with rock solid logic.
And the advice of experts is: looks don't matter. At least in comparison with how much psycho-social dominance matters (some say looks don't matter at all, but that can't be right). Invest in your dominance/alphaness, not your looks. Learn game. Practice.
On the other hand, do sports. Run. Climb. Jump. Swim. Do martial arts. Not for women; for the amazing, intoxicating feeling of being in an excellent condition.
Sonny,
I agree that game is a HUGE part of the equation. But not until I worked out AND WORE THE CORRESPONDING CLOTHING did I notice an increase in female attention.
I was actually in better shape once than I am now, but I didn't wear the attire that would show it (like my sensei).
Women respond viscerally and biologically to a stronger man and that response makes it easier.
I am by no means dismissing game. Matter of fact, I would probably agree with you game and attitude outrank physique.
But physique certianly is nothing more than an advantage.
Anon 524-
Did I mention my childhood?
I don't know where in my childhood this came from, but I had always elevated the intellectual over the physical. Being well-spoken or well-educated was always more important than being physically adept. Now, at 51, I have changed. I am lifting weights. The myth of the "dumb jock" for some reason haunted me in my childhood, and I associated physical prowess with mental deficiency.
What an asshole I was!
A man without muscle tone is like a woman with no tits. I shit you not.
One other thing: More men have been destroyed by their mothers than by any draft board. A sad fact of human biology. The mother holds the greatest potential for ruining a man. And few pass on the opportunity to do so.
Lets also distinguish between tight clothes and too TIGHT.
Just as on a lady, form fitting looks nice on a nice woman, there a difference between that and WAAY too tight.
On a guy like on a women, nicely tailored to suggest things wins out over blatant skin-tight in most social situations. :-)
I know of zero women who want to see a man in "sprayed on" anything. ( even at the beach, trim physique plus nice swim trunks better than trim physique + banana hammock.)
I found moshing to be excellent cardio.
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