Dude Bro Inc

Let's just say I know "a guy."

And when hanging out with this "guy" one time I met his co-workers.  These co-workers were the epitome of the fratboy-douchebags that, like Wyoming, should eliminate any concern on your part that the decline in America is relegated to just "women  and minorities."  No, they were proof positive that the decline is truly unbiased, unbigoted, and is infecting all people of all kinds.

But something was different about these dude bros.  They were extra-special douchey the night I met them.

Sure they all had the signs of dude-bro-ness:

Wearing sunglasses indoors at night.
Having floozies on their arms that had the face "don't dare talk to me."
Doing shots shots shots shotshotshots shots shots shots shots.
Telling stories and giving speeches that were neither funny, nor witty, and completely based on inside jokes.
Bragging about their careers.
Taking selfies even though they're males.

But then two things caught my eye.

One, they all drove cars that I knew by their age they couldn't mathematically afford.  Oh sure, it was possible.  Anything was possible.  But they'd have to be bringing down around $250,000 per year to make all their stories true and hold the deeds to those cars.  And I knew from banking the percentage of middle-aged fratboy douches who owned their car was around 2%.  Their younger, less experienced counterparts, had to be leasing or borrowed to the hilt.

Two, they were in sales.  "Sales" if you don't know is where many douchey dude bros work because they are completely untrained, unskilled, and too lazy to do anything else.

Frame this house?
"Dude, that's like what my old man did."

Program this router?
"Dude, that's for nerds!"

Weld this car?
"DUDE!  THAT GAME IS ON!!!  GO LEBRON!!!!!  He's my man!!!!!"

No, they were "big idea guys" and any real work was beneath them.

This also caught my economist eye because I knew all "idea guys" were ego maniacs who wanted the benefits of hard work, but used sleaze, ass-kissing, politicking, and networking to attain said benefits without hard work.

So faster forward several years and I don't know why it comes up, but my economic spidey senses start tingling and saying, "you know, there's no way to tell how those dude bros turned out, let alone prove with 100% certainty that they were indeed posers, but I wonder if their company is publicly traded."

And by golly it is.

And by golly will you look at those bottom lines.

Again, there is no guarantee that the dude bros were faking it.  Who knows, the company could have been spending all of their money on sales teams making those dude bros the only dude bros in the country that weren't faux $30,000 millionaires.  But based on my experience in banking, not to mention knowing precisely what it would take to present and keep up such a lifestyle/image, I think I can safely tell you this very important lesson:

Nearly 100% of the people you see dude-bro-ing it up, or fratboying it up, or (on the female side) "partaaaayyyying" it up, are fake and putting on a show.

Mathematically
Economically
and psychologically

it is just impossible for so many young people in today's economy to all be acting like Paris Hilton AND have the money to back it up.  There just isn't the money, there just isn't the economic growth, and truthfully, most young people today are just too freaking stupid to manage their finances, let alone to the level they are in the top 1% of income earners.

Ergo, when you see them in the nightclubs, partying it up at a bar, ordering a round of shots, driving a fancy import, do not feel jealous or that you are somehow underperforming.  I can guarantee you with 99.9% accuracy the party is going to end rather quickly for them and the remaining 20 years of their lives consist of avoiding bankruptcy, living paycheck to paycheck, and the constant fear of having to make ends meet.  Worse for them, they will have to keep up the lie to save face which will only condemn their entire financial lives to hell.

You just need to realize this, practice minimalism, find non-douchey friends, and both your personal lives and financial lives will be forever better and genuinely richer than the dude bros'.