Sunday, July 17, 2016

Affirmative Action Ghostbusters: A Review

It's as bad as you think.


Jay M said...

Your final thought: That would be a great movie...
The Ghostbusters had been holding on for a number of years doing minor stuff... Since there was little need for the Ghostbusters in recent decades.
Or better yet/in addition, Ray living in the top floor, using the office as a "fan site" meeting place. Ray was always a bit geeky.

Egan dies, of whatever; and all the guys meet up; bringing all the characters together in the film.

Then the main plot starts moving along. Possible examples:
Anti-US foreign enemies "invade" with 'old world' ghosts to overthrow US. (to go with your "expendables" theme-ish)
Egan's estranged research partner's (remember that Asian guy from GB2?) experiments to contact the dead go awry and cause a bunch of dead folks to come back and cause havoc.
SJWs and/or islamists going around smashing ancient statues and historical landmarks in the name of "progress" unwittingly unleash the ghosts and the big bad imprisoned within by our ancestors.
The growing animosity between people sparks a "psychic surge" which crosses the boundary between the 'spirit world' unleashing a massive monstrous evil spirit intent on destroying ours. Maybe tie it into a BLM racist trying to use it to kill off white people. (because F Marxism)

Ray obviously wants the GBs to get back together, but everyone is old and tired. Eventually each of the guys (including tully) realizes they each have to step up to fill their shoes and do what they are personally able to do to protect their lives/family/nation/world.
Their equipment though... is old and unreliable. And they are old too. But Ray is in contact with some of Egan's old associates, one who is knowledgable of some of Egan's engineering stuff. So they bring him on to rebuild and refurbish their stuff. (NO SHOTGUNS/GRENADES/PISTOLS OF VAG-FART JOKES)
Nearing the climax one of the guys gets injured, a brave paramedic or fireman, or cop risks his life through the hellish nightmare the boys in grey were fighting to save the GB (maybe make it a minor character we've seen before, maybe even a guy who originally didn't put too much stock in the GBs). The hero sees the other GBs struggling to keep make headway with the ghosts to get to the big-bad, and the injured GB (Bill Murray's venkman since he was always the most selfish) tells the guy to take his stuff to help out, giving a heroic speech that there are times you are thrust into a hard place and you just gotta suck it up in order to save, or make a better world.
The hero picks up the stuff, venkman gives him a quick instruction (Push this button to turn on, point at the ghost and hit the switch... "oh and don't cross the streams!" as hero runs off).
Hero joins up with the other 3 old busters (Ray, Winston, Tully) and the other newbie (Egan's assistant) and they battle their way up to the boss and, after some suspense, they win. Maybe killing off one of the old characters or something; maybe venkman, the noble sacrifice).
End of the movie has the old survivors acting in an advisor roll as the two new GBs are field testing some recruits as they head out to do some cleanup from the residual ghosts after the final battle.

BAM! Over 9000 times better than the piece of garbage you see in the theatres now.

David Jravis said...

Not even the the social justice critics on Rotten Tomatoescould save this movie. Currently their ratings are 73%, as opposed to the audience rating (the only one that matters) at 57%.

Anonymous said...

Why mess with a classic though? There shouldn't be any Ghostbusters remakes. Can't there movies with a more original idea.

YIH said...

It didn't open #1, it lost to a flick held over from last week.
If you do go see it, there's plenty of good seats available!

Rizzo said...

I find it somewhat ironic that this was a "reboot" in a sense, rather than a sequel. The female cast is riding on the coattails of the original cast, while trying to erase them from memory. A metaphor for feminism in general, I think.