"How Do I Get Da Gurlz?"
The most loathed question I get at Asshole Consulting is the infamous:
"How do I get da gurlz?"
The reason I loathe this question has nothing to do with the question itself, nor does it have anything to do with the answer. It's that the person asking it is invariably, 100%, and always a lazy, nerdy, weak man who simply doesn't want to hit the gym, doesn't want to diet, doesn't want to risk rejection when asking out girls, and is hoping there's some sort of short cut that will magically "poof" get da gurlz. It is his cowardice and laziness that angers me, and is why I charge a $50 surcharge to answer a question - the answer of which is easily searchable on the internet for free.
The second most loathed question I get at Asshole Consulting is;
"What should I do for a business idea?"
This question also makes me go from zero-to-rage in about 3 nanoseconds because the person asking the question is really asking "Hey, I'm too lazy to think up or research my own idea. Can you just GIVE ME a multi-million dollar idea for free?" not realizing that the reason entrepreneurs are successful is because they come up with ideas and products NOBODY ELSE HAS. Also the ludicrous expectation that if I had a successful business idea that I would just sell it for a $35 consulting fee is laughable. Idiocy aside, it is the laziness of the people who ask this question which boils my blood, as well as prevents them from ever becoming a successful entrepreneur in life.
I could go over many other hypocritical questions I receive, but at the core of all these questions is a fear, cowardice, and laziness that sends these people to my consultancy. These clients simply want a short cut, a cheat code at all things hard at life, and are so afraid of hard work and labor, they will pay money for somebody, ANYBODY to tell then there's an effortless way to success, happiness, and love. And whereas I simply cannot lie to these people, telling them what they want to hear, there's no shortage of Oprahs, psychologists, college recruiters, motivational speakers, life coaches, democrats, and other snake oil salesmen who promise people success, happiness, and love all through an easy pill, an easy book, an easy college degree, or an easy $5,000 weekend retreat.
And most people are weak enough, lazy enough, and dumb enough to fall for it.
The Most Addictive Drug in the World
There is a problem, however, in believing pretty lies over harsh truths. Namely, you will fail at life. You will not attain financial success. You will not become sexy. You will not find love. And you will not find happiness. In looking for the short cut that does not exist, you waste your one and only precious resource on this planet (time) investing in lies instead of laboring in truth. And while it may feel good in the moment to "major in creative writing" or pop a pill to fight depression you don't have (instead of just running a couple miles), in the end you do nothing to improve yourself.
The reason why is that you, personally, are not doing any thing. You are taking no actions. You are making no decisions. You are simply letting things happen to you in life. And since these things do not originate from you, you are not in control of your future. Thus, by the time your incredibly short 78 years of this planet is over, YOU will have done nothing but let life happen to you. You will be accomplishmentless. You will be unnoteable. You will be irrelevant. You will be the epitome of pointless. Your life, LIKE MOST OTHERS will be meaningless as you die just like one of the billions of conformist, boring, lazy, unaccomplished sheep that came before you. You quite literally could never have been born because your life had zero value.
But what's funny, is even having this concrete knowledge, even knowing your life will end and that there are no short cuts, people will still choose the path of wasting their lives on sweet lies instead of living their lives laboring in accomplished truth. So much so, that lies are not "like" a drug, but they ARE a drug, arguably the most addictive and powerful drug in the world. It's so severe that I've launched my clandestine "Operation Evil" to essentially be a peddler of this drug because I want me some of that "Oprah, Ocasio-Cortez, Democrat-Party, Tai Lopez, Cosmopolitan, Big Education money." Regardless, it is only a very, very few select people who have the intellectual strength, courage, and work ethic to live a life of truth, let alone pursue a life of excellence, which is what I think deep down inside most of my clients, colleagues, and peers want. So if you really want the truth, you REALLY want to be successful and happy in life, then you need to understand how diamonds, steel, and stars are formed...as well as go through the process yourself.
Baptism by Fire
Coal is an abundant resource of which there are entire states full of it. You can literally drive through Wyoming, look out your window, and you will see MOUNTAINS of coal. Hundreds of cubic miles of coal that the world will never run out of.
Yet, if the conditions are right you may get a practically immeasurable amount of coal to turn into diamonds. This requires incredible heat along with incredible pressure, which is usually only found in the formation of volcanoes, and even then it is incredibly rare that diamonds form. Still they do
Steel is also similar.
Though not as rare as diamonds, steel is formed by a powerful, creative-destructive process wherein iron is mixed with a little bit of carbon and then cooled to create steel. However, there are many variables that determine the many traits of your final steel product. How much carbon is added? When was the carbon added in the galvanizing process? How quickly or slowly did it cool? Yes, steel does come out stronger than iron, but all the variables within the galvanizing process ultimately determines its strength, brittleness, density and malleability. These characteristics not only give various forms of steel their specific strengths and weaknesses, but makes them much more useful and thus valuable than mere iron.
And finally stars.
Stars start off as the second most boring thing in the universe - hydrogen. I say "second most boring" because hydrogen is the first and smallest and simplest form of matter that exists. The next step below it is "nothing" or mere "space." So suns start out as "the first step above nothing."
But if you get a critical mass of hydrogen within a certain proximity to one another, gravity takes over, and slowly, but surely the hydrogen atoms start to congregate and attract one other. In due time there is so much hydrogen that the forces of gravity, pressure, and heat become so strong, it fuses hydrogen atoms into helium resulting in a fusion nuclear reaction that ignites the star. Again we see something from nothing due not so much to the "nothingness" of hydrogen, but the revolutionary process of nuclear fusion. And again we see something of value originating from something of worthlessness because of the process, not the thing itself.
But be it stars, steel or diamonds, humans are no different. The vast majority of humans are about as valuable as individual atoms of hydrogen, a lump of coal, or the unearthed and unrefined ore of iron. They are worthless, they are pointless, they will never amount to or achieve much of anything. Out of the estimated 150 billion humans who have lived and died on this planet, a mere 10,000 are the ones who made history and set forth humanity on the path it is today. But whereas coal, hydrogen, iron and carbon are inert elements and compounds, humans are not. Humans (at least in theory anyway) have sentience, intelligence, consciousness, and independent thought. They can make decisions, they (at least in theory anyway) can choose their path in life, and therefore can (in theory anyway) wield some control over their lives and futures.
But what separates the star-humans, the steel-humans, and the diamond-humans from the mindless, sheeple slop is that these humans CHOOSE to go through the galvanization process. They CHOOSE to SUFFER, ENDURE, and SURVIVE the incredibly painful, destructive-creative process that turns them into a diamond or steel of a human. And because they do not let fear, cowardice, sloth, or laziness condemn them to a life of mediocrity and commoness, they become a truly genuine superior human compared to the rest of the cattle posing as people. More importantly, they are one of the few humans who do not to waste their precious life, choosing to affect life instead of letting life affect them. They have control. They have destiny. They have a legacy. They have agency.
They simply have a life.
Forever Changed...You Cannot Go Back
There is, however, one problem. And perhaps "problem" is too harsh a word, but a "reality" that has both its pros and cons.
If you make this transformation to a "star" or "steel" human, you are forever changed. You are no longer a regular human, watching TV, stuck in traffic, working your 9-5 job to pay off your student loans for your Masters in Sociology. You are no longer a debt-endentured wage slave whose pinnacle joy in life is watching "the game" at "the bar" wearing another man's sports jersey on your back. You are an exceptionally rare human which, like a particularly galvanized steel, has his/her specific strengths and weaknesses. And these strengths and weaknesses will set forth the tone for the rest of your life.
First, there is no doubt that you will NOT be wasting your life. You will live life to its fullest, availing yourself of every second in life god/nature has granted you. You will also be thankful for each second as you frantically make sure not to squander a second of it. You will cherish your fellow man. You will love a quality woman. You know the tickity-tock is tickity-tocking and you are racing against the clock of life to squeeze every ounce of juice from it before you go back into the unconscious void.
Second, in the wake of this tour-de-force you will leave a legacy of accomplishment and achievement that will not only benefit you in the here and now, but will continue to pay dividends to generations well into the future. Either through wisdom you have passed onto your children, literary works, artistic works, or any other forms of excellence you have left this world before you left, it will continue to contribute to society and the human race well after you have passed. This is arguably one of the best litmus tests as to the value of your human worth - did you continue to produce value after you died.
Third, you will at least KNOW that you did not waste your life and you will spare yourself the fate of your common everyday sheeple of cluelessness, delusion, and insanity. As the normies, conformies, and inferiors continue their lives they way they were programmed to, chasing after easy short cuts, lies, and sweet falsehoods, you will enjoy stability, contentment, excellence, and reality. Everybody else will enjoy student loans, poverty, materialism, divorce, pop music, pop culture, socialism, the Oscars, and whatever other low-grade slop that makes for their mundane, mediocre lives. You will be thankful for your successes in life, they will constantly complain about how unfair life was to them. You will enjoy the intellectual company of others, they will bitch and whine about "Tina at the office." We will bang sexy hot people. They will lie to themselves about how sexy tatted up women are, or how ear gauges are cool. People will actually want to hang out with you, and you them. The rest of the sheeple will be on constant guard of being taken advantage of by their sheeple peers because neither offers either anything of value but a host-parasite, pareto relationship. Sanity will be your prize. Insanity will be their punishment.
But for all those benefits, there are drawbacks. Namely, you will not be the same person, and you can certainly never, ever go back.
Long ago I was just your average nerd, playing video games and blissfully ignorantly enjoying life. I could play baseball, play Dragon Warrior, watch Voltron, and go for long bike rides.
Long ago my buddy Lloyd was probably doing the same. Maybe chasing some girls. Finding one and getting married blissfully.
And no doubt some of you were married at one time, kids in tow, and life was looking grand.
But then the hellish process of the real world presented itself, often times not giving us the choice of whether we wanted to go through with it.
I had to go to college which was a hellish nightmare of poverty, malnourishment, loneliness, and sub-zero Minnesota cold.
Bob got shipped off to Iraq, got shot at, saw people die, and incidentally got hit with an IED
And then half of you either have or will be getting divorced where everything was hunky dory and BLAMO - "I'm not haaaaaaapppppyyyy."
Most of you reading this either have or will rise to the occasion and overcome. But after you go through that forging process you will change and not necessarily for the better.
For example, just yesterday I was at a ramen restaurant. The proprietor and his wife stood in the corner of my eye while I wharfed down the ramen I had just ordered. I heard them talking about "My goodness, he just shovels it in" shocked at the speed at which I was eating. But no matter how much money I have, no matter how abundant the food, no matter how much time I have to eat, forever scorched into my brain is starvation and hunger that I will immediately eat as fast as I can because I never know when the next meal is coming or when I'm going to get "a call" that I have to respond to.
Bob, who has it much worse than me, worries that there's a sniper here, an assailant there, or a suicide bomber there. He's in a small remote town that nobody is ever going to attack him, but he cannot look at the countryside without thinking or theorizing where a potential sniper would be. Abrupt noises panic him into a defensive mode, fast movements trigger his survival mechanisms, and he sees ghosts of people he's killed. I'll happily eat fast at the mockery of others not to be in his situation.
And no doubt many of you are suffering side effects of being divorce bombed, having your families destroyed, let alone if you've ever recovered from it.
I call it the "destructive-creative" process because it is DESTRUCTIVE, destroying the individual that once was there and creating a whole new one. It is truly traumatic in most senses, and though you may be a superior human, it's not as it your previous self hadn't been totally destroyed and the memory of that destruction scorched within your memory.
Better Them Than Us
Still, no matter what the price it's better to be us than them. Whatever toll or price truly superior people had to pay to become superior, in the end we haven't wasted our lives and we are not like "them." You could be shot at, starved, bombed, and abused, but if it led to a conscious and accurate assessment of reality, it was worth it. The lost, wandering cowards, weaklings, and pussies constantly seeking to play life on easy mode will never be able to enjoy it. Not only because they were never capable of measuring and assessing the real world for what it was, but without the pain and agony to be galvanized into a superior human, they will forever lack the ability to appreciate reality for what it is. They are on a constant fix-hunt for pretty lies, pretty lies that will damn them to waste their lives.
So embrace and chase the hard work it takes to become a superior person. Pursue the path that makes you a diamond, a star or some steel. Because if you don't you'll just be another lump of coal, some hydrogen dust floating in space, a hunk of iron underground, or yet another liberal arts major. And I can't imagine a fate worse than being just another worthless normie, conformie or inferior.
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