Big Oil, Time for a Review

Seems I need to remind some folks again.

Sometimes I wonder if there’s enough bullets to slay all the idiots in the world. And then I wonder even if I had enough bullets, do I have enough life expectancy left to deliver a bullet into each idiot’s skull? I mean think about that, that’s a serious undertaking requiring at least some consideration of the logistics behind an operation like that. Slaying all the idiots in the world.

Oh well, guess I’ll just blog about it instead.

OK, last time here people. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting mighty sick and tired of the suburbanite kids too lazy to major in something worthwhile, whose only skill it seems is to regurgitate the talking points that were spoon fed to them in their indoctrination at the local university whilst they pursue a degree that shields them from any real work and responsibility whilst their Daddy dimes their education for them.

Ran into one of their numbers at a local bar last night complaining about (who other than…)

BIG OIL!

“Yeah, man, like it’s the US oil companies that are keeping the prices high and making us pay for it!” said the skinny, goatee wearing wimp who can only attract women who could beat him at his table. Of course he says it loud enough so that those of us who aren’t as ignorant as he is knows what he thinks. And what person isn’t concerned about what a 20 year old college student thinks. I mean, come on, they’re our future.

So I’m going to do everybody a favor. I’m going to put it to rest where the power lies in terms of “big oil.”

It’s not Exxon Mobil.

It’s not Chevron Texaco.

It’s not even our British big oil rival, BP.

It’s the multitude of (take note leftists) STATE OWNED ENTERPRISES of the OPEC nations and Russia that wield the most control over oil prices.

Now to make a pretty picture for you and to make it all nice and clear I’ve taken the top 20 oil producing firms in the world and made this pretty little chart for you;

Notice your much hated US big oil firms each have a whopping one percent of the total oil reserves in the world.

Now, I know this may be confusing for you to add up 1 and 1 because you went to the public schools and were taught by idiots like this goatee wearing wimp who no doubt majored in education because he thought everybody should share in his wisdom, so what I did is I simplified the chart so that it is broken down between US and Non-US oil firms.

Notice “BIG US OIL” controls all of 2% the oil in the world (and this is not including the bevy of minor players not included in the top 20).

Now, let’s put on our thinking caps and let’s try really, really hard. Almost as hard as the kids in the special education programs in the public schools try to drool on their own along with members of the teacher’s union (sorry, budget battle going on in the Minnesota legislature this week, guess whose asking for more money).

Who is most likely to have control over the price of oil and who is most likely to really just be a transportation, refining and distribution company?

You see with 98% control of the world's oil reserves...ah, heck. Forget it. The left is going to believe what it wants.

There's Nothing Special About Our Dirt

Real quick here, then I must go.

Went out with what amounted to the most interesting person I've meet in about 8 years.

She was a Vietnamese immigrant who escaped the communists in 1975. Among MANY other things, what I was particularly impressed with was how quickly she adapted and pursued the American dream.

Now 30 years later she is a doctor in optometry providing one heck of an upbringing for her children. By the end of our conversation I literally could not be more impressed.

Anyway, long story short, she complained about how immigrants come to this country not wanting to pursue the American dream, but basically just for the money. I was a bit shocked, knowing that SOME of the immigrants do that, but didn't think it was that widespread. I said, "Are you sure."

Oh yes, she was.

And it reminded me of something that I thought of when running one time.

There's nothing special about our dirt.

You see aspiring or current immigrants, in America, our dirt is the exact same as the dirt in your home country. There's nothing special about it.

What makes America special and great is freedom. What makes America great is democracy. What makes America great is the mix of laws, people, society, history and culture that is "American."

It other words, it's the people that make a country great, not the dirt.

This is why we're great.

The question is why did your home country suck?

And while some of you were escaping communists and dictators and the suckiness of your country was out of your control, there is no denying that a country is only as great as its people. And if you insist on bringing your bad habits to this country (say like female genital mutilation) and continue pursing the aspects of your culture that made your home country suck (wanting around for handouts from the government), you will never escape what you were running away from.

Thus, as a service to all aspiring immigrants I am going to provide you some advice. THis is advice you're not going to like to hear, but in the long run you'll appreciate it because then you will not suffer the same fate as the Arabs living in public housing in France.

1. NO COUNTRY BECAME GREAT WITH ITS PEOPLE LIVING OFF OF WELFARE. If you're here for the free ride, go to hell. Matter of fact, you'll already be there and you will also condemn your children to such a hellish lifestyle too.

2. Find out why America is great. Don't just believe that it is great and move your whole damn family here. Find out why first so that you may become part of that greatness.

3. The Democrats are not your friends. They want your votes so they can stay in power and will bribe you will benefits and welfare and free health care and housing. If this sounds too good to be true, it is, because this inevitably will turn into communism and you can talk to my Vietnamese friend about that.

4. The Republicans will let you fend for yourself and don't much care if you make it or not, but at least they're honest about it.

5. For God's sake, go to college and major in the sciences. Engineering. Math. Computers. This will make you more successful than your average white American counterpart because the majority of them major in crap (sociology, women's studies, philosophy).

6. Don't have more than 3 children. I don't care what your culutre says.

7. Rap and the ghetto hip-hop lifestyle is a farse. Make sure your kids don't fall into it in school. Matter of fact, if you can afford it, send your kids to private school.

Women of the World Unite...If You're Not Sick

Found this chart whilst doing research to see if oil is the main reason Norway has been doing so well (it is). It shows days of work lost to inactivity (health, sickness, PTO, etc.) for various OECD countries and they break it down by age and sex.

Now, I have an anal retentive socialist friend who in his many feeble and failed attempts to debate me always reverts to his last ditch, desperate argument that socialists always resort to when they're getting their asses handed to them by a capitalist machine gunning them down with empirical data;

I don't believe. You didn't source the data.

Now, most people would accept what I've posted here as true as I cited the OECD. Most people would say, "Oh, the OECD. Reputable organization. And given he was looking for oil information in Norway the context of this research wasn't biased to find out why women make less than men."

But no, this SOB wants the exact URL and then should that URL change over the years, he wants it changed too.

So here it is you anal rententive putz;

http://www.oecd.org/document/46/0,2340,en_33873108_33873681_35190766_1_1_1_1,00.html

Now, as I was saying, this argument that women make less because of sexism and blah blah blah, is largely one to benefit women unfairly painting them as a victim (which seems to be a popular tactic by the left nowadays). Just some more information to show you why I don't bother listening to those idiots.

Also, note Ireland (IRL).

Again people, economics is not that hard. The harder and smarter you work, the more wealth you have. And damn could I go for a redheaded Irish girl with a doctorate in economics and an aptitude in playing Halo.

DAMN!

Save France...Again

Just wondering if the MSM in the US is going to cover the riots in France anytime soon here.

I'm also wondering if we're going to have to go in their and save their asses for the 3rd TIME IN A CENTURY!

Come on guys, haven't we paid back our debts for your help in the Revolutionary War?

Oh, and is this yet ANOTHER instance of muslims not getting along with their neighbors?

Hypocrisy Served in Under 5 Minutes

And only a 20 something chick can do that.

This post is for two groups of people;

1. College age youths, because the economic lesson is worth listening to.
2. Twenty something chicks that wish NOT to become like their pissed-off, psycho 30-something predecessors.

I had gone into my day time gig early one morn because I had some work I needed to do. This more or less gave me my choosing of the best parking spot in the entire parking lot.

3 hours later a friend of mine comes upstairs to chat with me and my other co-workers.

She says, "What's that rollerskate doing in my parking spot?"

"Rollerskate?" I asked.

She said, "Yeah, that Volkswagen piece of crap you have." referring to my 1996 Volkswagen.

I was previously under the impression she did not have a car because she commuted. So I asked her, "I thought you didn't even have a car. I thought you commuted."

"HELLO??? I have a 2003 Monte Carlo SS!"

I said, "So why do you commute?"

"HELLO??? GAS PRICES???"

Now, contextual knowledge you do not have to this story is that my friend commutes 1 hours 15 minutes a day ONE WAY. So, being a an economist, or heck, just being a logical normal thinking human being, I asked,

"Why don't you move closer to work?"

"HELLO??? Property prices are too high?"

Now, being a property owner in Minneapolis and a landlord as well, I know that there is a glut of rental property in the Twin Cities market. And while prices may be high, we are in a property bubble because the plausible rents of those properties would not warrant such lofty valuations. Thus with the over supply of rental property in the Twin Cities I said,

"Well, there's a glut of rental units in the Twin Cities. Certainly you should be able to find yourself an affordable apartment."

"HELLOOOO??? I don't want my kid being raised in an apartment building."

Now, contextual knowledge you do not have to this story is that my friend just had herself a child. And children in this office are considered holy because not only do the women have pictures of their children up, but pictures of the other womens' children up at their desks. And I am literally considered by many in this group to have mental problems because I do not want children.

Also, contextual knowledge you do not have to this story is that my friend is approaching her 30th birthday.

Thus, when the "mother hen" of our group (who is this sweetheart of a woman) asked her, "So, you're approaching the big 3-0. Are you where you'd like to be in life by now?"

My friend said, "No, I was thinking that I'd have more kids by now, but I'm just married with 1."

So here's my question, and tell me if I'm wrong. But why the hell is my car a piece of crap and why the hell is there something wrong with me for not wanting to have children?

If I am not mistaken, here in front of me is a woman who is proud of not only her car, but her son as well, and wishes to have more.

But at the same time, wanting these THINGS (yes, the child I am categorizing now as a "thing") hampers her lifestyle and forces a lower standard of living upon her.

And I'm supposed to believe that this is the life she wants? Or that she is happy?

Thus, I speculate (as I have before) that the majority of women who have children do so only for biological and instinctual reasons. They don't THINK. And therefore when the economic realities of having children dawn on them, they have a choice;

Realize the mistake I've made

or

RATIONALIZE the "choice" I've made.

This results in what I think constitutes the majority of women. Whereas previously they were independent minded, individuals with dreams and goals and desires and plans. Now they are beholden women to children (and cars or material items they can't afford). And rather than face up to their mistake and suffer a blow from reality, they deny reality and ACT like they're happy. And not only that, they go so far as to constantly pummel me with pro-child propaganda and some even berated me for not fawning over their children and saying nice things to them whenst in the office (even though this would be pointless as most of the children at the age of 1 ARE NOT FLUENT IN ENGLISH!!!) Worse still, I get the impression some of them hate me, for on Monday morning when we recap what we did on the weekend I say,

"Well, I went dancing, had some martini's, had a spectacular dinner at my favorite Italian joint, slept in till noon each day, had a date, got a little play, played video games, worked on the house, and had 100% of my time to me"

and they say,

"Little Johnny puked and we took him to the hospital at 3AM. Then I had to get back and make a crappy dinner because we can't afford to go out and eat at good restaurants. We stayed in and watched the game but we wanted to go to a movie, but we couldn't find a baby sitter, and then we had to get up this morning at 5AM to get here today."

So here's the economic lesson of the day for all you college youths. You have a choice when it comes to cars;

1. Buy a cheap, but reliable used car and then live where you want, eat where you want, have a short commute, have no car payment, have minimal car insurance and have money left over to invest in property or stocks or something or...

2. Buy a brand new car fresh out of college and be a slave to the car payments until you're 30 and be forced to live far away from any sort of metropolitain culture.

And for you 20 something women who think your life is meaningless unless you have a child;

Do not have children just because everydody else does. Go and live your life and figure out what YOU want to do. Do you like animals? Well become a vet first, then have children. Do you like hiking? Well become a forest ranger first and then become a mother. Whatever it is you like to do, please do it before you become like everybody else. For I cannot tell you how drab and boring and common and how quick-lived a date is with a girl that says, "well, I have 2 children and I love them, they're the best children in the world. Ooops! I have to leave, the baby sitter is only paid till 10PM."

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to live my horrible life. I have to go to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant where I'll meet some students before we go dancing at one of my favorite jazz venues. No doubt I'll have a martini, and might even meet a cute girl tonight. Either way I'll be getting home around 1AM to drift off for 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep with no particular responsibilities tomorrow. Although I might play some video games before I go to bed and finish off that great pasta I got last night that's in the fridge.

I just need to find a baby sitter...OH! Wait, that's right. I don't have children. I can "just go."

Tigger was an Economist

So I have the nick name "Pooh Bear" at work, which was not my doing but the doing of two sweethearts in the office. Nice kids, thus, when one of them was down today I forwarded her a link to a website full of economist jokes and listed on the subject line "Tigger would find these funny" playing off of the inside joke of Winnie the Pooh.

She doubted Tigger was an economist and thus I posed my theory, which turned out better than I had anticipated;

Well, it’s a well-kept secret that in the evening Tigger would moonlight on the side as an economist.

You ever wonder how all those animals could just go about looking for honey or bouncin’ without ever having jobs? And Roo, the single mother, how she got by without alimony or child support? And Eeyore! The donkey is so depressed all the time, you know he ain’t holding down a job. Kind of seems like “Friends” where nobody’s working, but they all don’t seem to be missing a meal.

Well Tigger was the financial engine behind that. You see, he was a savvy investor and established a Winnie the Pooh Mutual Fund with a loan from Christopher Robin’s dad who was an investment banker. Well Tigger knew about indexed P/E ratios and market inference pricing techniques, so he was able to sell out of his tech positions before the crash in 2000.

But what was Tigger’s real stroke of genius was that he was able to see that a slowing economy would lower long term interest rates, which would then lead to a housing boom. He gambled that despite the terrorist attacks and stock market crash, the economy would have endured these temporary hurdles in the long run due to massive restructurings in the early to mid 90’s and the investment in technology infrastructure.

So what did he do? He swapped out all his holdings in technology and invested in REIT’s based here in America.

I think now, Tigger is slowly moving his position from property into developing markets, namely China. I think he’s betting on an inevitable free float of the Yuan.

Whatever the case, with such wise investments, Pooh, Piglet, Rabbit and the whole gang life off of the dividend income from the Winnie the Pooh Mutual Fund.

But that’s just what I’ve heard

A Very Cappy Cap Halloween

So Halloween always lands in the middle of busy season, which means my costume must accomodate not only party going, but largely ballroom/latin/swing dancing as well since I take my students on field trips. This Halloween was no exception. And since Halloween landed on a Monday, the previous weekend consisted of a party, a field trip and dancing.

The field trip was what taught me the very Captain Capitalism Lesson of the Day;

That I should have been born in 1920.

For the field trip was a costume party dance in scenic Hamel, Minnesota where the "Rockin' Hollywoods" a 1950's and 1960's coverband played the night away. Of course the VAST majority of people there were Baby Boomers and older. And my costume only served as a catalyst because it was a 100% vintage US Army Air Corps uniform from WWII.

And yes, I did look damn sexy.

The problem was that the few girls my age there wouldn't give me the time of day. I ask three girls to dance, all of which said no.

But there was a line as long as the social security queue of middle aged women looking me up and down, complimenting me and sometimes outright saying crass and lewd things! And I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, for I am a preacher's son and have these virgin ears.

Anyway, I left scenic Hamel and went to a party, and there the catalyst powers of my uniform ended, for this party was populated with more people my age, particularly a cute redhead that I haven't had a hard time looking at yet. And aside from the normal comments about "hey, nice costume" what few advances I made were more or less repelled. I may as well have dressed in blue jeans.

Home started calling and my couch was beckoning me so I left the party and went to bed.

Now today, Halloween proper, I had to go to the office, and there it is populated with mainly middle aged women. And without the booze supplied to their Hamel counterparts, their commentary was much more polite, but sincere and you could tell they were actually impressed that their friendly neighborhood capitalist cleaned up a bit.

The moral of the story; modern day chicks don't dig classy dudes. You could be Cary Grant in a major's uniform and they'd shug their shoulders and say, "eh."

Alas, there was one gal that dressed somewhat 40's which made for a good "Very Cappy Cap Halloween Picture."
So wishing you and yours a very happy Halloween. Feel free to e-mail your costume pictures and I'll throw them up here.

Who Could it be Now?

Remember that 80's song?

"Who can it be knocking at my door?
Stay away, don't come round here no more."

Or so the lyrics go.

Alas, 3 teenage girls beheaded in Indonesia.

Now, for 40 points and a chance at the Grand Prize, tell me who are the primary suspects;

a) Black Southern Baptists
b) White Protestants
c) Pakistani and Indian Hindus
d) Small Penis'ed Muslim Freaks

I will promptly remove this post once it is proven not to be "d"

The True Measure of Socialism

The Economist (which by now all you aspiring economists should be subscribing to by now for it is the easiest way to pick up chicks and impresses cool guys like me) comes out with this chart annually. One of the better ones out there.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Democrats

http://www.zombietime.com/2000_iraq_deaths_party/

The post itself is good on it's own.

All I will add to it is that this further confirms my theory that members of the left are not as attractive as members on the right.

A New Tabloid - USA Today

Journalism majors are a joke. Just like theater majors and English majors and music majors.

Like you need to go to school for that.

The idiocy of these people. No, can't just go and practice on your own which is what will make you great.

No, you have to pay a s-load of money for a crappy degree to turn out tripe like this.

USA Today, I'll be expecting to see you in the check out line at the grocery store right next to Soap Opera Digest and People Magazine.

You verminous scum.

Like You Have a Choice

What I love the most about leftists is they think they have a choice when it comes to economics. Like they can stop globalization or somehow institute a massive welfare system without impairing the economic engine that would finance it or just "tax the rich" as if it's like turning on a light and then come to find out that it deters investment and the rich just move their money.

Same thing with Germans, the French and Italians.

Some of them think that somehow globalization and foreign competition is an "option."

Their stupidity rivals that of the unions in America who have bankrupted the airlines and put the US auto industry on their death bed.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/latimests/20051027/ts_latimes/wantedpolishworkers

My favorite quote in the whole thing is;

"The struggling economies of France, Italy and Germany worry that low-paid Poles will bring capitalist-style competitiveness that will jeopardize the welfare state"

"Worry?"

Oh, don't worry about it. It's going to happen. The question is whether you can deal with it.

For the Birds

OK, short post, two things and then to bed.

1. Why the hell with all the years of evolution and the obvious brains to fly in V-formation are the Canadian geese flying NORTH? It occured to me, particularly this year they're flying north most of the time. Are they hooking up to some jet stream that will inevitably head south? Any fowl experts out there let me know.

2. I'm mightily peeved at the men in the SE metro. I got, not 1, not 2, but 8 EXTRA FREAKING GIRLS in the dance class. 6 of which are married!

OK, look, guys, WTF? You married the girl, can you please sign up for the damn dance class with them to make them happy? I am amazing, but I can't handle 8 extra women at one shot that's why I have to bring my male friends to help me...and dont worry, these younger, stronger and better looking men will be more than happy to look after your wives. But seriously, it's always been an internal debate with me whether or not I would have an affair with a married woman. I cannot see how this would reflect any immorality on my part. Either the guy ain't paying her any attention or the girl is being philanderous. In either case, I can't see how it's my fault, yet that being said I'd just prefer not to get into the mess.

Furthermore, if the institution of marriage meant anything, I'd respect it. Now, it's almost like high school. Get married for two years, ehh, heck, get divorced. I might as well respect that as much as the girl in college you had a boyfriend overseas, wouldn't go out with me, but then managed to bang the guy immediately after I asked her out.

Time for sleep. 80 hours of continual contribution to GDP this week.

Another Cool Chart

This one from JMPP.

Made an overdue visit to her site and found an interesting chart.

She is rather adamant in her disgust with children. That being said, it seems I only have to wait another decade and a half by the time women my age start to get wise and not have children.

Why Men Make More $ Than Women - According to JTapp

A 50 50 mix of data downloaded from the US Department of Labor and some anecdotal evidenced shared by Justin.

http://justintapp.blogspot.com/2005/10/why-men-make-more-than-women.html

And while I've yet to see statistics on the "urgent conference" or "women's lunch time habits" put out by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, I will concur that I've experienced similar things in my past work history, albeit anecdotally.

Still, I don't know one woman who has come close to matching my longest work day; 42 hours.

Whereas I can name 3 other men who have.

But again, I'm sure this is anecdotal too.

$25

Heck, anybody else going to send in charts???

Was an ingenius idea of mine to put a $25 bounty up for the best chart submitted by a CC reader thereby allowing me to focusing on work and busy season. Alas JTapp seems to be the only one who submitted one.

I leave the competition open for the next week.

JTapp can go unchallenged and win the $25 and the much coveted picture of Cpt. Capitalism in a fine Goodwill purchased picture frame.

The Happy Carpenter

If you've ever done carpentry work, it's hard not to be happy.

I mean, there you are, working hard, with your hands, making something for yourself to live in or enhance your current living.

I know when I put together my bar and martini lounge in the basement I kind of sat back with a little bit of pride once it was done.

Anyway, the Happy Carpenter has long had me linked to his site and since I'm caught up with a lot of work I'm linking to all those worth a visit. Has some interesting candid photos of "Looter" the famed celebrity of New Orleans not to mention an eclectic mix of, uhhh....eclectic stuff.

Why I'm in "Tuesday's Whitie Tiddies" I don't know.

How Can't You Visit a Guy Named Cenk?

Never enough time. Never enough time to do half of what I have to do and none to do what I want to do.

One of those things is to study up on central Asia and Middle Eastern history. Very weak in that area and since it's one of the craddles of civilization I know I'm missing out on much.

Enter Cenk Sumbas

Guy highlights some of the more interesting things in that world I know so little of. Recommends books that are recommendable. If I ever get the time to pursue central Asian history, Cenk shall be the launch point.

My Anger Issues and the Mad Doctor's

I've often been told that I have "anger issues" by several people.

Of course, the people who have this observation all have a common trait I've found in that their lives have been a relative cake walk.

Did they ever drop 30 pounds because they couldn't afford 3 meals a day and had a physically exhausting job?

No.

Did they become a real adult at the age of 18 meaning they supported themselves completely and could claim they'd be in the same situation as they are today had their parents died and left them nothing?

No.

Did they ever know the meaning of poverty and have to live in a room that rented for $179 a month to make ends meet?

No.

I've often found it a losing proposition to try to convey struggle and strife to them, because unless you've been through it yourself, it's impossible to convey it to other people. And so I largely shut up and hope the imminent economic chaos and collapse that is sure to strike us in the next 20 years will give them a dose of reality and vindicate my cynicism and "anger." Of course, by that time, what will it really matter.

That being said, it's nice to know that I'm not the only cynical bastard out there.

Welcome The Mad Doctor.

His blog, Universe on the Couch, is kind of a sounding board I use to make sure that somebody outside the economics profession sees what I see and to make sure I'm not crazy.

He shares the same dismal hopes for America and I'm predicting he shares the same disdain for the Baby Boomer generation that I do as his latest post is pointing towards that.

Alas, it seems to me the good doctor footed his own bill through college and wasn't spared any of the lessons from the school of hard knocks.

Visit the good Mad Doctor when you have a chance.

The Truth Hurts, Confucius Say

I love the truth.

Truth is a great thing.

Like for example, you’re really not going to insult anybody by calling them a “nooney-head.”

The person would look at you knowing full well they aren’t indeed a nooney-head, simply because there is no such thing as a nooney-head.

But call a fat woman fat

Or a hen-picked man his "wife’s bitch"

Or a women’s studies major who still lives off her dad as “dependent”

Woo Hoooooo! Look out.

And you see, that’s the trick. Pay attention young aspiring economists. Take notes. If you really want to hurt somebody, or obliterate them in debate, all you have to do is point out the truth.

For example I was courting a crazy woman quite some time ago. And during a "Cosmo-Mag Inspired Argument" I needed something that would obliterate the opposition by showing her just how crazy she was.

Well, I couldn’t very well say, “Hey, woman, you be crazy, you crazy person you.”

You see, that wouldn’t do it.

But when I said,

“Hey, at least I digest my food”

that had more of a crushing, end-all, obliterating effect for she was a bulimic.

The result, she was silent, and I had made my point. For how can you refute the truth?

Thus, it must really be tough being a leftist. And I’m not talking the “I’m leftist because it’s COOL because all the kids are democrats and green party members in college cause I’m going to change the world cause I don't know what the f I'm talking about” leftist.

I’m talking the hard core, zealots. The true believers in socialism.

For year over year, day by day, second by second, evidence of socialism’s failure just keeps on racking up and trillions of dollars’ worth of evidence that capitalism is indeed the optimal economic system racks up as well.

Or should I say, “Tens of trillions of yuans’ worth” for China is that evidence.

Of course, that’s assuming the leftists out there bother to pay any attention to economics, data, statistics, etc., outside their own cherry-picked data. Heck, I’d be happy if they had data instead of theories, concepts and feelings.

“Well, you see, I just don’t believe GDP is a great measure of standards of living. It doesn’t take into consideration happiness. You know, Europeans are much happier than Americans. They prefer leisure to more money, and just look at our society, it sucks, we’re not as enlightened as them and I feel that America’s children are…” blah blah blah.

OK, so let me explain it to you leftists out there nice and simple so even you public schooled kids can understand;

Europe’s economy sucks.

There was a big study done just this past month called, “The Big Study Done This Month on Whether or Not Europe’s Economy Sucks” and it had all the great economic minds in the world attend it. If you never heard of this study it’s because you are not a great economic mind and weren’t invited. And what we (I was there) concluded is that with unemployment rates at double the US’ and GDP growth rates of less than 1% and debt up to the wazoo as well as social security programs that make us look stingy, no amount of intangible “good happy touchy feely Human Development Indexy” leisure could make up for the economic gap.

Of course we did take out central Europe and the Baltics because “they don’t count” because they’re not really European. They do that weird ass “flat tax” BS and that ain’t European at all!

Anyway, back to my point about China.

So China was once a very commie place and Mao Tse Tung was happy and the people were happy, for DAMNIT, if they weren’t, they’d be shot…or just starved to death in one of dem der “Great Leaps Forward.”

Implementing every leftist idealistic economic policy that their modern day Move-On.org counterparts would love to implement.

Aawwwww. But it didn’t seem to help much.

Now the “communists” of China are marching to a slightly different tune. The privatized property. They allowed for private companies. They opened their borders to investment. And they actually have lower taxes than the US on corporations (and please don’t give me no guff on loopholes). In otherwords, they let a private sector exist and look what happens.

A country that only 20 years ago was a third world nation, is now solidly second world nation, and has an economy when adjusting for PPP that is larger than Japans.

And who do they owe all this growth and production to?(BTW, this chart is from The Economist, where most cool charts come from)

Why the private sector…which last I checked was a very capitalistic thing.

So, you leftists, you keep on telling yourself the world is flat, pregnant women are beautiful, Julia Roberts is attractive and socialism works.

When the Chinese are kicking our asses and out-competing us because they have a harder work ethic, send their kids into engineering and incentive their people to work harder, don’t complain when our jobs are undercut because everything is going over seas…oh, wait, it already has.

(This post written in fond memory of all the union jobs lost at Northwest Airlines and soon to be the Ford Ranger plant in St. Paul. Keep up the good work unions!!!!!)

Two Thoughts

1. So it's been 60 years since WWII ended and you have the two main Axis powers whose economies were in desperate need of reform. Japan is currently implementing and pursuing further reforms while Germany is sitting on its ass. I predict in as little as 5 years time there will be a drastic difference in the two's standards of living.

2. OK, so I figured out an ultimate poetic justice scenario. The unions and their "legacy costs" (read pensions for old, retired union members) have renders their employers uncompetitive against their foreign and immigrant labor competitors. So as a way to help employ all those laid off union members from Northwest Airlines, United, and soon to be Delphi, GM and Ford, I have the perfect job for them;

Bounty hunters.

But not any normal bounty hunters. Illegal immigrant bounty hunters.

We put a bounty of $1,000 for every illegal immigrant. The recently laid off union workers whose jobs were eliminated by cheap foreign labor (overseas or illegally domestic) can get training in bounty hunting and recoup their lost wages by hunting down those who are partially responsible.

It's a TV reality show in the making.

Oh, the Crash is Coming

Interesting chart done by Greenspan.

No wonder savings rates are now negative.

Working Hard and Smarter

Can't figure out why the US keeps dominating over Europe.

Really leftists, economics isn't that hard.

1 Pissed Economist

Short on time. Not that this is yet another excuse as to why I haven’t made a post in a while. No, this is to set the context for my tirade.

For it is one thing if it is slow season and I am literally trying to kill time.

It’s another if its busy season, I got a 40 hour/week day time gig, on top of consulting and seminars and time becomes very valuable.

Thus whereas 5 months ago if some girl had 505025’d me, it just further convinced me the selection of women today is utter crap. But now, not only do they confirm my belief the selection of women is utter crap, but there was an opportunity cost and I’m mightily pissed because that time could have been spent on something else. Say, like sleep. Or catching up on my now 5 unread issues of The Economist. Or quarterly taxes or raking the yard or running or anything aside from cleaning out the car and ironing a shirt for a girl that is a flake.

Thus, you women have asked for it.

You see, we men (and I mean real men, not the ones who’s dad set them up with a job, or some loser of a guy, I’m talking the guys with jobs and class and humor, and yes, good looks too) more or less subscribed to the theory you would get out of that 14 year old girl mentality by now. We thought you’d throw away the Cosmo mags, get a freaking job, and maybe be intellectually honest to the point you’d realize Sex in the City was a TV SHOW and not reality, and that you’d grow the F up.

But no. 30 years old and I’m running into women in their 30’s that still think the middle school tactics of playing hard to get works like it did in college.

Now, I was telling myself, “no, Cappy Cap, this is just a statistical anomaly. Just something in your selection process that is resulting in these flakey chicks.”

And then it occurred to me that this sounded eerily reminiscent of my high school days where I thought I was the one with the problem. Then when I taught college economics and realized what a bunch of bimbos and ditzes the typical twenty something broad is it all became very clear. The rare instance where the individual is not the one with the problem, but society is the one with the problem. And I felt a little confirmed when sitting at the barber shop I picked up a issue of Cosmo-esque magazine and found an article outlining how a girl should play hard to get. I then went online and hit a couple discussion board and found that this theory is widely believed by women. And if that wasn’t enough, mercy I have not the time to tirade about “The Rules” a book written by a now-divorced woman.

So, as a service to society, as a service to you girls to help you grow up and become women, how about you set the effing Cosmo-mag down and listen to a guy who has his act together. And if you want to be told what you want to hear, don’t read beyond this. You want to read and find out what might actually WORK, well then sit down, grab a pen, and take some notes, you will be insulted, but that means its’ reality talking, not this tripe you tell yourself watching those god damned soaps.

#1 The Rule of Kilgs

Kilgs is a great philosopher in St. Paul when he’s drunk, and thus came up with a hierarchy by which you can gauge where you stand base on how many times you’ve played your stupid 6th grade games.

When a guy asks you out you originally start out at the “Wine and Dine and Dancing” stage.

This is the highest stage.

Do not goof it up. For here the guy is willing to take you to a classy joint, drop a fair amount of money on you and still has the obligatory, polite respect for you. He will be willing to impress you and take you out dancing or something unique; more than just a movie.

If you bail at the last minute or say you’re hair isn’t dry yet or get the butterflies in your stomach, you are then downgraded to the “Dinner Girl” stage.

We’ll forgive you once. Things come up, we understand, but our natural sense of self-respect kicks in and you don’t get any more chances. You can still make it up to us, and we’ll take you to a decent place for dinner, but not the fancy joint we were thinking nor are we planning anything particularly special. Just a good dinner.

If you bail on us a second time you are now downgraded to “Applebee’s Girl.”

At this stage you are largely something to entertain us, to kill time, with the outside chance you’ll be something unique. You are now required to do all the work and impress us. We are relatively indifferent to you and can only rationalize spending $10 or so on drinks and bad food.

If you are so stupid as to bail on us a third time, seriously, and for your own sake, you will not want to go out with us again (and that’s in the unlikely event we return your call), for you have been downgraded to the worst of them all

“Property.”

You are a now officially a “thing.” Particularly a “sex thing.” We have no intellectual or romantic interest in you. You botched that up long ago. You are functionally no different than a gumball machine; throw some money in you in the form of drinks and maybe we get a prize. We will take you to a party where there are other friends so we don’t have to listen to you and waste no more of our time. And if there is no party we take you to a crappy bar with cheap drinks in the hope of getting you in the sack.

I don’t want to hear from any of you that “you know some guy who doesn’t fit this procedure” and blah blah blah. There is always going to be an exception to the rule.

Rule # 2 Women Will Always Find Reasons Not to Do Things and Rarely Find Reasons To.

Want to know why men make more money?

Because we take risks. We’re more adventuresome.

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen entire tables of girls refuse to dance with a guy at a ballroom or swing dance or latin dance. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to get female friends to go out and go to a party or get a drink with the intent of setting them up. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen women at clubs or bars reel their wandering friend back in to the herd so they can keep her company in misery when the girl wanted to talk to a buddy of mine. And I don’t know how many times I’ve seen women refuse to “go out to happy hour” or go “grab a bite to eat” after work or some event.

There’s a reason why the term “sausage party” has no female counterpart. Because women will not stay out, take that many risks, nor be that adventuresome. Men will.

And that’s fine. OK, cool, men=aggressor, women=chasee.

JUST DON’T BITCH ABOUT THERE NOT BEING ANY GUYS OUT THERE!

You sit at home and watch Desperate Housewives till you’re 40, then you’ll know what it’s like to be just plain desperate.

Rule #3 Speaking of 40…

You’re approaching it. Hell, forget 40, try 33. Rarely do I see a decently attractive dame over the age of 33. And you want to know what’s great? Men typically date younger and we age more gracefully. You may think you’re hot stuff, and you are now. Just keep being a flake and before you know it you’ll have wrinkles forming on the outskirts of your eyes, stretch marks showing on your ass, and instead of tight fitting lingerie, you’ll be wearing the loser sorts…not that we’ll notice because we’re dating a 27 year old because you keep consistently making it down to Applebee’s Girl stage.

That’s enough tirading for now.

You Had Your Come-Uppance

Quick story.

Went to Target last night.

Looking for moth balls, a club for my new car and if they had it, was going to start pricing DVD burners on the off chance they'd have 'em.

I go to one of the stock boys and say, "Hey, you guys got moth balls?"

The guy turned to me and said, "yeah, they're over on isle E14"

So I find the mothballs, couldn't find a club, nor price DVD burners. But that guy that helped me...somehow I knew him.

It kept pestering me until I figured it out heading south on 35W past Washington.

He was a guy I remembered in college. Hung out at some of the same parties he was at. Didn't know much about him except he hung out with a REALLY liberal crowd. Him and his friends all worshipped Paul Wellstone and all majored in crap.

And that's the lesson. I'm 30 now. So is he. But I studied finance and economics. I think he majored in sociology or art history.

I don't work at Target as a stock boy.

He does.

At least I have respect for him in one respect...he didn't go into the public sector as a social worker, and is thus contributing more to GDP and society than his surely public sector putz counterparts.

Wonder how long it'll be until he votes Republican.

Recommended Jack-O-Lanterns?

This is my pumpkin from last year. Since I live in Commie Central, I had about three parents turn the pumpkin around whilst their kids trick-or-treated, which I had to turn back to make sure they ask questions.

Odd how the word "Republican" is viewed by parents much like the word "sex." They try to keep their kids away from it as much as possible. Oh well. Just doing my part to piss off my pansy ass neighbors.

I will take any recommendations for this upcoming Halloween.

Big Coin, Not Enough Time

Loyal aspiring economist, I must apologize for my lack of posts, but busy season has started and unlike my previous job, my new job consumes about 40 hours a week.

Thus, between the job, the consulting, the dance classes...battling communism, contributing to GDP, satisfying the ladies and in general being an all around cool guy, I have had little time to give the blog a good contribution.

That being said, I will largely just be posting charts and graphs with little commentary or really short things. When slow season starts again, I will become a bit more verbose.

But, in the meantime, I chart for all my Canadian readers...which seem to make up about 96% of my readership.

For JTapp

An entry to the chart competition that I've been procrastinating over because I'm a lazy bastard.

Understand JTapp purposely chose charts from the Democrat's senate floor charts to cause a ruckus.

So young aspiring deputy economists, what's wrong with this picture?

It Ain't 1955 No More

Before I am deluged with a torrent of hate mail from women I;

1. Did not write this
2. Do not endorse everything on it
3. Did not underline or circle anything on this, it was sent to me as is.
4. Am displaying this to show the stark differences between today and yesteryear.
5. Am fully aware this may be a photoshop hoax.

All that being said, Men, I'll say it again, I'd gladly go back to 1940 to risk getting maimed or killed in WWII to live the life afterwards.

Yeah, Whatever MSM

Sure you've seen it, but if you haven't.

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/pictures/MamaMoonbatAndAl-01.jpg

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/pictures/MamaMoonbatAndAl-02.jpg

Americans are Too Weak to Handle This

I seriously doubt we will have the stomach to handle the inevitable decline in housing prices.

And then I seriously doubt whether we'll be able to continue borrowing money from the equity in our houses so that we can spend more than we make falsely propping up this economy...

http://research.stlouisfed.org/fred2/data/PSAVERT_Max.png

And then I seriously doubt whether we'll be able to handle the recession that will ensue due to drastically slowing consumer spending...

And then I really seriously doubt we'll be able to handle really bad timing that this recession should hit once the Baby Boomers start to retire and put a further strain on our economy.

But then again, I'm just a dumb economist. What do I know?

Al "Calvin Klein" Greenspan

No economics lesson to pull from this, other than to show all of you doubting Thomases what studs we economists truly are. Not only are we capable of running regressions and using the entire greek alphabet in a formula (with absolutely NO NUMBERS mind you), little did you realize we are on the cutting edge of fashion.

12 is the new 11.

Monday is the new Sunday.

And Greenspan is the new Klein.

Don't believe me? Well just look at this!


Sportin' a maroon colored business casual shirt with a "green" tweed overcoat for GREENspan (huh, get it, huh, HUH? The pun?)

I mean, I must really apologize to all you ladies out there. As if the economics profession and its professionals weren't heart throbbing enough, as if you weren't tortured enough by only being able to look, but not touch such low hanging, but forbidden fruit. Now we gotta lay this down on ya, that we're fashion models as well.

Will the world ever know and more sexy and dashing person than the economist?

I doubt it.

More Plausible than Moore

So in a previous post I said that the left was obscurely to blame for the high oil prices. I then cited environmental regulations and environmentalists requiring a bevy of different grades and detergents be added to the gasoline and then also the minor issue of refining capacity being choked by enviro-freaks.

I said this was a little more plausible than Michael Moore's contentions that Bush is a terrorist and he knew and blah blah blah.

Well, make it a lot more plausible. For while in the past high oil prices were brought on by supply shocks induced by OPEC, this current spat is brought on by demand from China and the US. And with the world's two largest economies growing at full steam, it should be no surprise that when you don't build new refineries to keep up with demand, prices will go up.

To paraphrase the South Park kids "They killed the economy!" "YOU BASTARDS!"

OK, Fine, Win $25 Then

OK, it seems that $5 of my money is not enough. And since I'm a lazy guy I've upped the winnings to $25 to whoever comes up with the best chart.

The rules are:

1. Create or find a chart you think will be the best.
2. E-mail it to me at captcapitalism@yahoo.com
3. I will post it here and the best chart by the time I get around to concluding the competition, wins.

Now get off your lazy asses and send me charts! Especially all you teachers that read this blog. $25 to some of your little rug rats is serious coin.

Favorite Charts of 2005 - Opportunity Does Not Knock

Children, again, as we all know, which is blantantly obvious, and proven by scientists at NASA are;

EVIL

And I'd like to say "they're evil primarily because..."

But there are so many reasons that one of them standing alone would be enough to convince a jury that they are evil.

Among these are disease transmission, loss of sleep, loss of friends, you don't own your own life any more, they could be born deformed and put you in the poor house, they could grow up to become a mass murderer, the legal liability of having one, having to discipline it then getting sued because you spanked a child, bring a child into today's world is just making them slaves to social security and medicare and the rest of the social programs that go to lazy bums.

But the biggest reason is their cost.
Pure 100% extract o' evil.

Memorable Charts of 2005 - Chart 1

One of my favorite charts in 2005 was this one.


It shows you just how drastic and epic WWII really was and furthers my belief that today's generations (Baby Boomers and Gen X-ers) have no clue what it means to sacrifice and suffer...and it also makes me work on my magical time machine where I can go back to 1940 and hit on them classy 40's dames.

The Force is Strong with this One

Well I must tip my hat.

It takes a lot to impress me with charts, but it seems our punk rockin', business majoring, aspiring Economic Jedi Knight, Cpt. Mike has managed to do just that. And in one swift parry of his light saber has managed to destroy the fallacy that somehow global warming brought Katrina to our southern shores.

But what is particularly impressive is he made his own chart.

See kids, take note. It's one thing just to pilfer a chart from some place (which of course I do when I'm short on time), but to really impress the chicks, you gotta make your own charts.

No doubt Cpt. Mike has several female skippers lusting after him after seeing that chart.

I'll Say it Again, Lefties Ain't as Attractive as the Righties

Seems nobody is missin' a meal in Crawford.

Right is Way Better Looking Than the Left

Truth. Lefter leaning sorts are less attractive than those of us of righter - leaning faiths.

And don't argue with me on this. They are. I've been watching, looking, and running an informal toll in my brain looking at those on the Right versus those on the left and I'm sorry, I'd rather court the fair lasses on the Right.

It orginally started when I saw the Wellstone Memorial on TV and the eclectic mix of college students, environmentalists socialists, etc., make complete asses of themselves and tip the senatorial battle to Norm Coleman. Within 48 hours I was at the Republican victory party at the Radisson in suburban Minnesota looking at a bevy of hot and fine ladies. And the looks battle could not have been more lopsided.

Ever since then I've been driving on the interstate, looking at people with Bush bumper stickers, versus Kerry bumper stickers. Bush yard signs versus Kerry yard signs. Support our troops decals, versus "Bush Lied, How Many Died" signs. Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin versus...well...anybody.

And again, I say this not to be inciteful, but because it's true, I really think people on the Right are better looking folk than those on the left.

Now this could be for any number of reasons, but without pondering it much I have a sort of half-ass theory; Darwinism. Specifically, survival of the fittest.

You see, democrats do not like competition. They like fairness and a level playing field. Heck, they don't even like to play, they just like ties and we all go home winners. Republicans know better. Republicans know that competition and survival of the fittest is what governs the world. It's not how we'd like it, that's just how it is.

Don't believe me? Well no doubt you're a union member seeing your job being obsoleted by foreign competition and want the government to come in an protect your job (yet your loyalty to diversity and the global community runs contradictory to this...oh you poor confused leftists).

Anyway, in the competition for mating, you try to go home with the penguin with the poofiest chest. The cardinal with the brightest red. Of the man with the biggest....car. Either way, democrats fair badly in these categories on both sexes. The men are usually wimpy, skinny emasculated men who are in touch with their feelings and couldn't protect their family from an assailant if they wanted to. The women are (frankly) fat and not attractive and thus can only attract the bottom bracket of men.

There is also the element of income. Women are more attacted to men with larger....incomes. Why settle for the wiener who is a professional peace activist, living at home with his parents, when you can have the MBA graduate with a $70,000 a year job lined up. And as you make more money, people have a tendency to vote Republican more often because of the ass-raping they receive in the upper income brackets. Thus, the more attractive women can get a higher income, and thereby, more likely to be Republican guy.

The end result; the ideologies attractive different people based on how prone they are to engage in competition. And ugly people don't like engaging in competition, be it for mates or jobs in the shunned private sector. Alas, why you have not only ugly liberals, but the majority of liberals employed in sectors of the economy that require no competition; non-profit, government, charities, academia.

Either way, more proof for my theory came in the mail yesterday when the Minneapolis democrats sent in the mail their list of preferred candidates. I don't have a scanner, but I went online and put together a mural of their "beauty" queens and kings. Sure, there's a couple good looking people in there, but most are ugly.

I shall point out a couple other things, for they seem to be consistentcies across the left;

The women wear those glasses that just scream "LIBERAL." I don't know if it's the glasses or that they're all fat and the cheecks combined with glasses give it the liberal effect.

The men look gay. I mean this not as an affront to gay people. I like gays. I'm for gay marriage. It's just usually they men aren't gay, they're just feminine.

Every guy in this picture I could take in a fight in their prime, except for the old guy. He seems to be an old-school democrat who might have played some football and worked in the private sector.

Not one girl in this picture would I sleep with, even in their prime, and even if I was paid a tidy sum.

Anyway, yes, blanketing statements across the board. But I'll see if I can scrounge up the Republican ones and do a comparison.

For Bucktown, BradMan, and all the Other Horn Dogs Out There

I have implemented a new policy.

It was requested some time ago that I post a picture of a knock out babe I had gone out with a couple of times. I of course held reservations about throwing some girl's mug up on the internet to have a bunch of hormone crazed econo-types drool over her. That and I date a fair amount.

But two things have convinced me otherwise;

1. While I banter about my exploits in dancing and chatting up the ladies, I have now received several e-mails contesting my looks and my ability to get a hot girl. That indeed I am a nerdy economist who is ugly and cannot possibly attract the type of girls I am describing. That being an economist and dating a hot babe are mutually exclusive events.

Oh yeah, well I'll show you! I'll defy the laws of physics!

2. As with most courtships, they end and do not end up in marriage. The girl bails, stands you up, there ain't no chemistry, you talk too much, she talks too much, etc. Whatever the case, if the game is over, it's over and as long as their identity is kept anonymous and the picture is tactful, I see no reason not to grant you loyal-reading-econo-pervs (just kidding guys!) your wish.

So here's the latest, the "Russian Babe" as she were. Sweet kid, nice girl, very intelligent, just chalk up the failure to forces outside my control. Regardless, American women could learn a thing or two from her.

The Germans are Coming

Entry #1, our good friend Daniel from Germany;



Just read about your chart thingie, and me likey.. like some sitcom dude would say. My chart proposal is the 1 year frame of the German DAX index. My reason for why this is the best chart: "Who thought Old Europe couldn't outperform anybody?" This may be a bit simplistic, but nevermind.. ;-)

One More Time for the Oil Idiots

OK.

It seems that there is still some confusion as to what's causing high oil prices.

So I'm gonna break it down nice and easy so that everybody can understand.

And if after this explanation, you still insist on believing that it's a conspiracy, that it's Big Oil and GW and Haliburton, well then there's nothing I can do for you, for you really don't care to know what the truth is, you just want to bitch and whine because you get some kind of psychotic kick out of it.

So here it is people;

The Top 7 Reasons Why Gas Prices are So High

1. China’s booming economy demands oil.
2. America, the largest economy in the world, is booming, which demands oil.
3. The world, global GDP growing at 3.8%, demands oil.
4. Refining capacity has been limited here in the US primarily due to environmental regulations and activism.
5. The multitude of local government regulations requiring a whole host of detergents, additives, etc., be added to the gas makes refining hundreds of grades of gas somewhat costly.
6. Gas taxes.
7. A weak dollar.

I have spoken.

Debit Cards for Strip Clubs?

Let it be officially known that I can’t really muster up a care about the people of New Orleans. And while there are no doubt some innocents that were caught by the forces of nature and bad luck, the majority of them decided to live in a city that was below sea level…near the sea…and did not heed warnings or orders to leave the city. And now these idiots are costing me $2,000 per debit card.

Sorry for being so blunt and cold hearted, but sadly the reality is that life is that way too.

The Highest Rank is Captain

There's Captain's Quarters. There's Captain America. There's Captain Captain Capitalism.

And then there's Captain Mike.

Captain Mike reminds me of Peter Griffin only because he goes to college in Connecticut. Now most people would say, "Yeah, but Peter Griffin lives in Quahog, Rhode Island." And you're right, but I don't know anybody in Connecticut. The closest person I know to Connecticut is Peter Griffin in Rhode Island.

Now anal-rententive idiots will say, "But Peter Griffin is a cartoon character and Captain Mike is a real person."

Yeah, well I don't know any real people in the North East period, so this is the best I got, deal with it.

Anyway, Captain Mike runs a pretty good blog. He's a ghetto college kid who probably listens to enough old school it might cost him a GPA point or two, but don't let the fashion fool you. He's more articulate than most college professors and provides entertaining insight to the epic battle being waged across America's campuses between the entrenched and established left and the revolutionary rebellious right.

Waiting for when the chicks notice the guys on the right are the real rebels.

Scott Stantis, Freaking Hilarious

OK, new favorite political cartoonist.

Scott Stantis.

Check his web site out because I don't have the time to upload all his cartoons here and I'm sure on some level it's illegal and the lawyers are currently filing a law suit against me and my massive deep-pockets blog operation.

Cindy who?

I wonder how the bitch is handling not only the loss of her son, but the loss of all the attention.

And I'm willing to bet when she's talking to her therapist it ain't about her son, but the sudden collapse of her 15 minutes of fame.

More Money for Less Work

I will continue to claim that public sector workers are not as efficient as private sector ones.

Oh, go and contest me if you want. But the biggest public sector employers, ie-communist economies, show that they are insanely incompetent at producing wealth.

Funny then that those in the public sector should get higher raises and pay than their private sector counterparts (in Britain anyway).


Alas, I contend employees of the public sector should pay and "inefficiency tax" in addition to their regular taxes.

Why Journalists Will Always Be Inferior to Economists

NO EFFING SH!T, BRAD!

Some Good News and Some Bad News

I almost forgot.

The bad news is that my main day time gig has slowed down to the point that I'm looking at about 20 hours a week. This is during slow season, so I'm being driven slowly insane without any work (but is why you're getting such great posts and economic wisdom).

The good news is that I work a lot from home and my boss is cool enough that I'm now independently contracted.

The further good news is that (remember, this economy sucks now) I already found a job in a month of looking. God bless the US of freakin' A!

The uber good news is this combined with my consulting/dancing/fossil hunting that should start in a month, my old streamlined job and rental income, boo koo coin is coming in. It has never been better.

The bad news is that once this starts and I'm in busy season, this blog is going to suffer a severe lack of attention. So the posts are going to be a little more sparse and less verbose.

My apologies to the readership in advance.

Some Good News

Remember, this economy sucks.
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2005/09/02/D8CC4H205.html

When Idiots Try to Become Economists

I'm a short, skinny white guy.

That's why I don't try to become an all-star basketball playing, pimping, frisbee-gold wearin', hip-hop-rappin', ghetto-blastin' home boy.

Word up g.

I know my strengths and I know my place.

Leave it to idiots to think they somehow have what it takes (ie-a brain and a positive IQ) to become an economist.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the dumbest, most spoiled brat Americans in the world; The people who drafted this e-mail;

>> September 10th - Gasoline Strike Day
>>
>> IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES DID NOT
>> PURCHASE
>> A DROP OF GASOLINE FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE OIL
>> COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES.
>>
>> AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULD HIT THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH A NET LOSS OF
>> OVER 4.6
>> BILLION DOLLARS WHICH AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINES OF THE OIL COMPANIES.
>>
>> THEREFORE, Sept 10TH HAS BEEN FORMALLY DECLARED "STICK IT TO THEM
>> DAY" AND
>>
>> THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION SHOULD NOT BUY A SINGLE DROP OF GASOLINE
>> THAT
>> DAY.
>>
>> THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE DONE IS IF YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO AS
>> MANY
>> PEOPLE
>> A S YOU CAN AND AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN TO GET THE WORD OUT.
>>
>> WAITING ON THIS ADMINISTRATION TO STEP IN AND CONTROL THE PRICES IS
>> NOT
>> GOING
>> TO HAPPEN. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REDUCTION AND CONTROL IN PRICES THAT
THE
>> ARAB NATIONS PROMISED TWO WEEKS AGO?
>>
>> REMEMBER ONE THING, NOT ONLY IS THE PRICE OF GASOLINE GOING UP BUT
AT

>> THE SAME TIME AIRLINES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES, TRUCKING
>> COMPANIES ARE
>> FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES WHICH EFFECTS PRICES ON EVERYTHING THAT
IS
>> SHIPPED. THINGS LIKE FOOD, CLOTHING, BUILDING MATERIALS, MEDICAL
>> SUPPLIES
>> ETC. WHO
>> PAYS IN THE END? WE DO!
>>
>> WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. IF THEY DON'T GET THE MESSAGE AFTER ONE
>> DAY, WE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN.
>>
>> SO DO YOUR PART AND SPREAD THE WORD.
>>
>> PLEASE FORWARD!!!!!

Broadcasting Again / Who Defines You

Well two things here folks;

1. I'll be broadcasting from AM 1500 again in scenic St. Paul Minnesota from the Minnesota State Fair. Certainly feel free to tune in or do that internet radio link up thing or webcast or whatever they call it.

2. Interesting conversation I had recently where I was asked who defines you, fictional or otherwise.

Nicholas Wolfwood
Jubei Kibagami
Oddball from Kelly's Heroes
Spike Spiegel

Only the truest of nerds will get this.

$20 I Didn't Want to Win

As I have pointed out before, I am a cynic.

Thus last week when one of my male friends came up to me and said he had a date for Thursday (today) certainly I was happy for him, but my first question was;

"What do you think the chances are she'll show?"

I asked this not because I am cynical, but because this friend of mine is not some old, battle-hardened, seasoned veteran of the Courtship Wars, but rather a youthful 26 year old kid who still has that glimmer of hope in his eyes. Who still has that optimistic choo-choo that could mentality. Who watches a lot of movies and still believes in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. And worse still, he believes that when a woman says yes to a date, that means he's actually going out on it.

I just wanted to prepare him for what I inevitably saw happening; "The Worst."

"The Worst" is not something that can happen to an old cynic like you or me. But it can happen to kids out there that are so young, youthful and idealistic they still get that "giddy" feeling. Remember that feeling from LOOONG ago? Like when you finally asked Suzie Johnson out in biology and she said yes? Why you were on cloud nine for the rest of the week. Brimming at the edge with anticipation and excitement of the upcoming date.

Yeah, well scratch that, for that "giddy" feeling has been pummeled out of us. For after countless last minute cancelltions, family emergencies, and well, just out right stand ups, us experienced folk never take it for granted that we're actually going on the date.

Sadly, the same cannot be said for these young, idealistic kids.

Thus "The Worst" isn't when old farts like you or me get cancelled on at the last minute. Heck no, most of us even prepare for it, having a back up date/plans in reserve. "The Worst" is when some young innocent kid with romantic notions of chivalry and kindness rockets to Cloud #9 on 100% Giddy Up n' Go Fuel, and then plummets back to Earth at the speed of sound when the girl cancels at the last minute.

Flower in hand, tickets in pocket, a droopy look on his face. The poor kid didn't see it coming.

Which is why I was so blunt and cynical, for I did not want my young friend to suffer such a fall.

Of course not everybody shared my views. For last night, T-24 hours to the date, we were all having dinner with some friends. One of which was a female friend who watched even MORE movies than the other guy and even believed in things like Leprechauns, the UN, and social security.

And when my young friend said,

"I don't know about my date tomorrow, I'm getting the feeling she's gonna bail"

She said,

"No, she wouldn't cancel on you. She'll show up"

That's when my capitalistic Spidey Senses started tingling, for I knew there was profit to be had.

"I'll bet you $20 she bails."

Being nice and brainwashed by watching too many G-rated movies the girl practically jumped across the living room to accept my wager and shake my hand.

"I'll take that $20!" she said confidently enough that I was somewhat worried my Spidey Senses had failed me.

I looked to my friend and asked,

"Is she American?"

"Yes."

"Brought up in America?"

"Yes."

"You're so on! $20 it is."

Fast forward 22 hours later and I get a call. A call from my young friend.

"You were right, she bailed."

Ahhh, the sweet joys of victory. Almost worth more than the $20 I'm going to collect. You can always rely on the American woman to act in a manner that does not warrant chivalry nor respect.

But having said that and being totally honest, I wish I didn't have to collect that $20. It certainly would be worth $20 for my young friend to be happy, to go on a date, and eliminate the need to be so cynical. It would certainly be worth the $20 to eliminate the cynicism and replace it with that good ol' fashion giddy feeling we used to get when we were young. It certainly would be worth $20 for American women to act in a manner that would warrant chivalry and respect.

Alas, that is wishful thinking on the order of thinking Santa Claus will bring me a Bloomberg Terminal and my own personal F-16 fighter plane this upcoming Christmas.

But there is hope. Hope that came from out of nowhere and from a sector I wasn't expecting. For you may have noticed my insistence on using the adjective "American" in the term "American woman."

Alas, it is more than manual labor that can be outsourced and cultural diversity isn't necessarily a bad thing I'm finding out.

I must thank Doinkicarus.

Oil Prices for the Masses

OK, so I've gotten enough requests to throw this chart up, so here it is.We've still got a ways to go before we hit our inflationary-adjusted highs.

Who Doesn't Like a Good Chart

I like charts.

Charts are cool.

And we all know that chicks dig guys who can make good charts.

I mean, I don't know how many times I'd be sitting there at the bar or the jazz club with my laptop, watching all these foolish guys trying to smooth talk the ladies or buy them drinks. And then all I do is fire up Excel, type some random numbers into the spreadsheet and make a pointless pie chart, and BOOM! They just flock to my table.Now, as you all know I pride myself on my charts, but mention should be given to others who appreciate the value and merits of charts.

Brad DeLong is one of those people.

Of course, his blog doesn't have quite as many charts as I have, but he still can whip up a mean chart!

Check out his blog

Ode to Cindy Sheehan

I really couldn't care less about Cindy Sheehan and the circus that surrounds her, but she is the perfect example of where a person's ego supercedes the cause.

Regardless of what you think of the war, here you have a mom who has used the death of her son to masturbate her own ego. Forget that her son was totally for the war and made the ultimate sacrifice. Forget about his wishes or even showing respect for her son. Forget that she's destroyed her family and prompted her husband to file divorce while trying to feed the unsatiable beast known as her ego. She gets all the attention in the world, instant celebrityship and notoriety from millions of people throughout the world that have equally pointless and hallow lives and thus need something to give them definition and meaning in their lives. All for the small selling of her soul by using her son's corpse as a pawn.

Lady, you're scum on the lowest order and if my mom ever did this (which she wouldn't because she's loving and caring and doesn't have such an ego, unlike you) I would come back from the dead and beat you freaking senseless.

Thus, aspiring young economists and capitalists, it's time to review, for I'm going to say it again;

Their egos supercede the cause. Learn it, know it. For it is your enemy and it is the enemy within.

Review #1
Review #2

That's What I'm Talking About!

I like betting liberals. Quickest way to make a quick buck and to make your point.

It's seems my Russian comrades have the same idea.

Of course, soon they will find out that unless they nail the specifics of the bet down and have it in writing and have a concrete way of determining who won, the leftists will try to weasel their way out on a technicality or crap data.

The Standard Bearer for Women Has Passed Away

I get the vast majority of my morals from dogs.

Dogs are probably the most honorable, upstanding, creatures on the face of the planet and you can learn a lot of things from dogs.

For example my first dog, Pretzel, was a proud, fierce dachshund. He would take on German Shepherds regardless of whether they took him seriously or not. He was insanely loyal. He loved his family unconditionally. And despite his physical handicap of being a wiener dog, that never stopped him from pointlessly trying to kill as many squirrels, chipmunks, badgers, raccoons, and cats (his total kill tally was 0).

His replacement was Louise, a fat, orphaned dachshund that was very motherly. So motherly she would bark in a lecturing tone if people hadn't gotten up at a certain time. Upon our first meeting when I had come back home from college and was shredded from a 24 hour shift she somehow sensed that I was weakened and tired and "protected" me all night by sleeping at the foot of the futon in case I was somehow attacked by a late night assailant. The next day I immediately got the impression that she viewed me as her son as she followed me around not in a "gee you wanna play" manner, but a very protective, authoritative, but caring manner.

Constantly wanting attention. Constantly wanting to kiss me. Constantly wanting to set at the couch next to me. Constantly excited any time I would show up.

Over the years I noticed that Louise displayed a whole bevy of characteristics that if they were to be imbedded in a human woman, it would make for the perfect girl.

She was unrivalledly sweet, kind and caring.

She had unconditional and limitless love for her family.

She was so excited to see me she could barely control herself...and many times didn't as she would wet the floor...this last aspect would not be desirable in a girl.

She was completely loyal and protective.

She wouldn't just kiss me, she'd smother me with attention.

She would always want to play and appreciated the gifts I'd bring her (her favorite of which were squeak toys)

Sadly, Louise was a dog and dogs don't live forever, and thus, she passed away today. But as all dogs before her she left me something very important; a standard by which I judge all human girls.

Alas, it's a standard very few human girls meet, but that's just how great a dog she was.

The Merits of Video Games

A wise sage that shall in this post only be referenced to as "Kilgs" was so wise that he was actually able to convince women that playing video games was indeed a good thing for their boyfriends and something they should endorse. He did it by stating some simple facts;

1. You know where they are.
2. You know they are not going to get into a fight or commit crimes.
3. It costs less than going out and boozing it up and clubbing.
4. And, if anything video games act as an enforcer of loyalty because you KNOW FOR A FACT there aren't any other women there.

It was because of the wise Kilgs that myself and the St. Paul boys were able to experience a Golden Age of Video Games where we would hold weekend long Halo extravaganza's and the girlfriends were only too happy to drop on by, airlift us food and beer, and then promptly leave whilst we slaughtered each other over the DSL cables.

But alas, this isn't enough to convince the Nanny Fascists from trying to ruin our fun. On top of finding ways to tax smoking, banning smoking, and make headway into villianizing unhealthy foods, the Nanny Fascists are now talking about the "evils" of video games. Making for odd bed-fellows between the religious right fanatics and their traditional tax-for-any-reason-we-can communist enemies.

Once again, time to defend your fun boys against the true forces of evil.

I Was Stabbed in the Back!

I was a young and foolish 23 year old at the time and it was the only time (at least to my knowledge anyway) that a girlfriend cheated on me. A knock out dame that she was, but she was what most people would consider to be a bitch. A bulimic, soap opera queen from L.A. that would nit pick the minorest of things to make a big drama out of it. Add to that the person she cheated on me with was a 36 year old personal injury lawyer who had wined and dined her at the most expensive places in the Twin Cities metro, offered to buy her a car and pay her way through college while he was married no less, and it made for quite the colorful story of betrayal.

This was one of the more forming experiences in my life especially in the department of trust. Never again did I approach a date or a potential courtship with optimism or hope, but rather skepticism and very cautious and very measured optimism. But beyond that my faith and trust in things outside girls, dating and courtship didn’t change for I didn’t perceive the threat of betrayal from those aspects of my life.

Well now, 7 years later, I am shocked and without words. For I have been betrayed even worse than the time Bulimic Babe cheated on me. I am more betrayed than when Brutus killed Cesear. I am more betrayed than when JFK left the Cuban fighters to die in the Bay of Pigs invasion.

My stalwart companion, my friend of all friends, an entity I have known and trusted for over 9 years, has stabbed me in the back. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the cover of the most recent issue of The Economist.

Those bastards!

Those Chinese Bastards! How Dare They!

Whilst in slow season I participate in a political discussion group to beat some sense into the group. They mock and ridicule me, but the chicks secretly find me sexy.

However, one of the bigger differences I have with two of the guys in the group is whether a strong China would be a good China. This of course depends on who is in command and a bevy of other factors, but there are basically two camps;

• As China gains economic and military power the communists will inevitably crush the US through military or economic warfare.
• As China gains economic power and further free up their economy, the communists will only be communists in name and they will form an economy mutual advantageous to both the US and China and will become probably one of our best allies in the long run.

I am in the second camp as I am always right.

Thus, it was a pleasure to see this in the news today;

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050808/ap_on_bi_ge/china_boeing

Life is Harsh, and So am I

Greetings fellow readers;

Before reading on, make sure you read this and then this.

It shall put things into context.

Enjoy!


http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-10-10-internet-defamation-case_x.htm

And here's another.

http://www.redorbit.com/news/technology/711046/lawsuits_aim_at_libelous_bloggers/index.html?source=r_technology

What's the word I'm looking for? Precedent?????

A Woman After My Own Heart

Great minds think alike.

JMPP strikes again!

Wish One of 'Em was a Video Game Playing Economist

Very interesting chart in The Economist couple issues back. I figure .1% of the top income earners, given roughly half of the population works, which means there's 140 million income earners, so that's the top 140,000 income earners in the US. At least one of them HAS TO BE A SEXY VIDEO GAME PLAYING ECONOMIST BABE!!!